Semi original X-meh and other holiday/seasonal poems
16The following is to be read, the night before Christmas of course, with the appropriate syllable emphasis even it it has to be sometimes forced. Same with the almost rhyming. If I left out anyone blame the goat (@lisaviolet).
Hopefully others will add meh poems of their own for our very own community meh holiday book (note I said holiday - didn't say which one/s so choose the one/s you like/celebrate).
The Night before meh-mas
T’was the night before meh-mas
Smartpost had not yet come
No speaker docks for music
No presents for anyone.
The house was all quiet
They were all fast asleep
Except for the goat
Who went bleat bleat bleat bleat.
Then who should arrive
In the yard with a clatter
(He fell off the roof
But what does that matter?).
It was @snapster all dressed
In a black VIP meh t-shirt
With a bag full of fukus
And a giant meh smirk.
He then snuck into the house
Through the window Irk broke
Knocking over the tree
While hanging up a meh tote.
“You think you are getting
a good Christmas haul?
Well I hate to tell you
That won’t happen at all.
We emptied the warehouse
Of busted, unpopular stuff
Added Texas meh air
And if that weren’t enough…
We sent the best goodies
To houses - not this one
They got TV’s and Kindles,
And things that are fun”.
The cookies and milk
The kids left by the chair
Were snatched by the meh rat
And he wouldn’t share.
@mediocrebot went snooping
Through things left under the tree.
“No you can not take stuff to resell it”
@snapster yelled, “let it all be be be be!!!!”
“Glen stop playing that guitar”
@jont in alarm he did shout,
“There’s somebody coming
We’ve got to get out out out out!!!!”
The goat heard the commotion
And ran into the room
And what it saw there
Was a picture of doom and of gloom.
Meanwhile out in the yard
Such chaos did reign,
“Come here @hank and @mehcus
You must stop playing that game
Hey @katylava, @sorta and @dave
Stop having fun in the snow
You too @hart, @matthew and @chapta,
We’ve got to go go go go!!!!
Now @harrison, now @hollboll,
Now @shawn, and the rest of you bums
Jump on your roombas
We have got to run run run run!!!!
@ethanp, @mastersst and @gaimaegi -
This means you too @nathank
Stop with the Korean as we must
Quick get on our way way way way!!!!
At the second floor window
A small face did appear
Thought Santa had come
And let loose a cheer
The kid snuck down the stairs
And saw the big, terrible mess
Including the goat who was munching
On the bags full of meh
The wailing began
As Christmas was trashed
So now we all know
Why the goat it is bashed.
Oh yeah - Meh New Year to you
And Mediocre Christmeh to boot
And do be aware here at meh
We don’t give much of a hoot.
- 10 comments, 9 replies
- Comment
I think this is the first Christmas poem that's ever mentioned some automated code I wrote and personified with a username.
cc @mediocrebot
@shawn Hey so personify the code a bit more and give it an email address to get any @'s. :)
Very very nice.
I know it seems like the goat's preferred gender identification seems to change every month or two, but it would still be polite to use her preferred gender identification when referring to her with pronouns.
So when we go caroling this month, lets "she" instead of "he" and the fifth to last line should probably be Why the goat she is bashed.
If I appear overly politically correct, I blame it on @lisaviolet, it undoubtedly her fault.
@hamjudo
To tag on here, Irk is actually a real person here who is not the beloved spokestroll. Also it's katylava. You did an amazing job on the poem, and it definitely does flow properly, which is even more amazing!
@dashcloud Glad you liked it. Thanks for pointing out my mistakes. Opps on the @irk and sorry for the misspell @katylava. Hey @jont can you go in and fix the misspell and remove the @ from irk?
@hamjudo I didn't "he" her, I "it" her… since New Years is a new goat and we don't know who that will be yet… and that's my story and I am sticking to it LOL
@Kidsandliz It is a great song. It should be up to the singers to use the appropriate gender at the time of singing. Here is the he: The goat heard the commotion And ran into the room And what he saw there Was a picture of doom and of gloom.
@hamjudo Oops.Thanks. @jont I need "it" instead of "he" where Hamjudo saw where I screwed up on the gender of the goat.
Your poem is awesome!
I'm limited to Haiku.
Like what you see here.
@DaveInSoCal Well then - post a haiku - that would be great too.
Nicely done!
This is great! You are so creative @kidsandliz
I am glad people enjoy it… I hope others post some meh parodies of christmas songs or poems.
I think the Christmas Eve video should be Irk reading @Kidsandliz 's poem. I'm gonna post this in the Ask Irk thread also.
And apologies to moose denboy derek kylewood troy who got left out by accident. So here is a verse for them to be added in between the verses that start "Meanwhile" and "Hey" :
Calling @denby, @derek and @moose
Yo @troy and yo @kylewood
Do stop with the snowballs
You should should should should!!!!
Never expected this kind of quality work in meh forum. This is so not mediocre.
@EthanP Thanks… have a twisted brain…this just sort of popped into my head without warning…. glad it entertained a few people