Recurring Date night ideas for middle-aged married couples?
2I’m looking for ideas to bring a little fun back into married life. I live near a major city (ok, ok… it’s just Philadelphia). I want some things we can do regularly, but without a long commitment - our lives are already pretty busy. I don’t want to (only) go out for a meal. Learning a hobby together would be fine, but with a small number of real classes/training would be best. Ideas for one-off dates are welcome, but are less valuable to me.
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P.S. It doesn’t need to be cheap, but that doesn’t mean we can make yachting our thing.
@JerseyFrank P.S.S. but make it as cheap as possible as most of us want to leach onto your request.
I have questions.
What age range do you think is middle aged? This is not a facetious question, but sincere.
How much money is too much? I’m just looking for a range, since what is a small amount for one person might be insurmountable for the next.
What sorts of things are you currently doing? No sense my suggesting a restaurant or film if those are things you already do, and are tired of.
How far is too far to travel, and in a related question, can weekend adventures be considered?
I’ll be back MUCH later.
@Shrdlu
40. Married for 16 years. High-school sweethearts starting 26 years ago.
$100 per weekly date is comfortable, excluding child care.
Separate things. Almost everything we do has been separate for nearly 10 years (1st child is 10). On the rare occasion we go out together, it is to a restaurant. I don’t watch TV. We go out to about 1 movie a year. Most of our evenings are consumed by Cub Scouts (I’m a very involved leader), a community symphonic band (she performs with them, and is on the board of directors), or some activity we are bringing our children to. Board games are also my thing. We sometimes play them together, which is nice, but stuck at home.
Travel is complicated because of kids. For the purposes of soliciting date night ideas, let’s say 60 minutes of driving. Weekend adventures shouldn’t be considered for this question.
@JerseyFrank
Since you are in an area with a lot of interesting places nearly (nature, culture. history), what about minor “touristing” with dinner once a month or so? Pick a sport that’s interesting or nice to walk around in, go there, explore for a few hours. And eat and have fun and talk?
Or find a non-anxiety-inducing class or activity you want to learn together, on a low-key schedule?
@JerseyFrank You are seriously making me cry at the idea that 40 is middle aged. I know in my head it is, but considering I am turning 40 this year I hate it.
/giphy crying
@ConAndLibrarian
@JerseyFrank is a little off on that. 90 is getting kinda toward middle-aged. You’re just a kid. So go out and have some fun.
@ConAndLibrarian I agree. “40” just sounds too yucky and depressing to spend an entire year on it. Instead, you could do what I’ve done for every year since #38: skip #40 completely and just tell folks you’re 41; next year, tell them you’re 42. And so on and so on.
But be careful how you do this – I bought myself a cool “Keep calm you’re only 70” mug on Amazon a couple of weeks ago, only to realize (with some degree of shock) that I’m actually still 69. And to be even more honest, “70” is like “40,” both dull and scary as shit. Looks as if “71” is next up for me.
Yachting is cheaper then you think.
Paint nite
Trivia night
Bowling
Mani pedi together (really guys often love a pedicure even if no color added)
Theater
Music
@CaptAmehrican I knew some of these would be facepalm worthy… so simple, yet I forgot that bar trivia is a thing we’d enjoy. Date planned for tonight.
@CaptAmehrican @JerseyFrank my husband and i did a byob painting class and it was fun! plus now we have stuff to hang on our walls.
Cooking class
Day trio to Amish country or Baltimore
Farmers market
Brewery tour
Volunteer as a couple at something you both care about. Pet shelter, children’s shelter, homeless shelter, environmental stuff like tree planting, community stuff like painting houses for the elderly and disabled. Habitats for Humanity, Christmas in April or other community building projects provide opportunities to learn, work together, and feel fulfilled.
Take a community photography class at the local college or community college Center for Lifelong Learning, then pick a different subject every month and go out taking pictures: cemeteries, architecture, gardens, etc. Shelters always need good photos of their adoptable pets.
Take art classes together. I couldn’t easily find any in Philly because they tend to be word of mouth, but we have a bunch of relaxed wine and paint type classes here offered by local artists. They are often posted on bulletin boards at Michaels or Hobby Lobby.
Self-Guided Philadelphia in the Movies Tour featuring the locations of movies such as The Sixth Sense, Silver Linings Playbook, Trading Places, Philadelphia, and many more, this self guided walking/driving tour will take you around to some places that might already look very familiar to movie buffs.
Escape rooms, paintball, laser tag, mystery dinners.
Community theater as an attendee, or try out and get on stage
Student Recitals at the Curtis Institute of Music. The student recitals at the Curtis Institute of Music are put on by some of the country’s most talented music students. Featuring primarily classical music, the recitals are a great option for those looking for high-quality music on the cheap. Concerts are held most Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights during the school year.
Book clubs, other clubs on meetup.com
Here’s a website with a huge selection of community events in Philly. Wish we had that much going on here.
http://www.uwishunu.com
@moondrake Seconding Uwishunu. I get most of my impulsive plans from there.
There’s Barcade-just what it sounds like, the Hacktory- lots of cool things happening at a local makerspace (free project Thursday, weekly soldering & sewing sessions), play a co-op video game together, or go to a comedy club- Punch Line Philly opened last year, and I quite enjoyed it when I went to a show there recently.
@dashcloud Ooooh… Hacktory sounds like a thing I’ll be doing. Barcade, less so. It’s not anything what it sounds like. It’s just a place designed to remind you of how old you are. Fuck them.
You’re close to New Hope. Great regional theater. Not too pricey. Dinner if you want it at various price restaurants before or after.
@readnj Actually, I’m quite far from New Hope, but we’re not short on dinner ideas.
I just started doing stained glass and we have a few couples coming , the basic course if 5 classes and you can add to that shorter courses and one time classes after. I really enjoy it and trying the get my husband to come with. Maybe some meetups about something you both might enjoy?
@dugi_f yeah, that’s the sorta thing I need to find.
Sign up for a 5k down the road. Go to the shoe store and get some new kicks. Train together and run the race together. You both get fitter. Everyone wins.
@huja We did this for 1/2 and full marathons. I never, ever, ever learned to like it. Running just ain’t my thing.
@JerseyFrank Kudos to you both for having the discipline to train/run those long races.
How about dinner with a pair of total strangers? My co-in-laws live in Woodlynne… (Sorry to offer such a dumb idea, but all the good ones are already taken.)
@magic_cave Look, if your co-in-laws are looking to wife swap, they’re going to have to find someone else. I do drive through Woodlynne daily though. Pics?
Join a hackerspace.
I want to learn sign language with my husband. Haven’t really looked into it yet, but I should!
Dinner with fellow mehmbers in the area! (I’m on the other side of Philly in Havertown). There are a few of us around.
If you enjoy the theatre, I highly recommend a subscription to the Walnut Street Theatre. I’ve been going for about 20 years now. For just under $300 we have two tickets for their series of 5 shows. We sit in the balcony section but the Walnut is small enough that anywhere is a good seat. Plus my seats are in the front row of the upper balcony so I have all the leg room in the world and it’s easy to scoot out if the bathroom is calling. It’s nice to have a show to look forward to every couple of months and the productions are world class.
If you’d like a cheap diversion for a Friday night, check out The N Crowd. Tickets are $12 in advance for a hysterical improve comedy group. Shows aren’t that long, maybe 90 minutes but paired with dinner it makes for a really fun night out.
Drive your car somewhere remote and have intimate times. Where will you go this time? Will you be seen? How exciting! Then stop for some tacos on the way home.
@medz Ah yes, a night of taco socks!
@cinoclav not recommended for consumption or for use as protection!..
@mikibell But highly recommended if your date night ends alone…
@cinoclav oh…that doesn’t sound like a good idea at all…kinda chaffing, I would think!
I suggest an upholstery class. Upholstery fabric can be expensive, but probably within your range. We did this when I was married, and had fun, learned a lot, and had a cool pair of hassocks at the end. (One was way nicer than the other, though)
