Prayers needed!! 🙏🙏🙏
41My guy Johnny is fighting for his life on the ventilator and this sucks SO freakin much! It’s just awful not being able to be there! Our hospital isn’t opening up to visitors anytime soon! End of life only visiting and I sure as heck don’t want to have to do that! I’m SO angry at this damn situation. We have been SO careful with staying home and staying safe and he ends up there fighting for his life just the same!!
He put off going to the hospital because he’s been looking out for me and taking care of his 84 year old mother. (and of course cuz he didn’t want to catch the coronavirus) He’d been caring for both his parents but his dad passed in November. Isn’t that the way it often is, put everyone and everything before ourselves?! I don’t want him to be just another statistic!
With how critically ill he is, they can’t believe it’s NOT coronavirus. He’s got MRSA pneumonia on top of several other respiratory issues, like that’s not enough! Apparently you can only be on the ventilator the WAY he is for two weeks before you can start to have other complications. Today being that 2 week point he’s looking at a trachea. They asked me if that would be condusive to his lifestyle? Really…? As long as he pulls through he’ll learn to LOVE IT!
My guy has a personality larger than life and loves spreading his happy self all over town! We just celebrated our 30th anniversary last month and i’m not ready to do the next 30 without him! So i’m asking, Please Please Please say a prayer for my Johnny! Send good thoughts and positive energy, whatever you got, he needs it all! 
Thank you from the bottom of my aching heart!
Always!
- 37 comments, 62 replies
- Comment
Absolutely!
@jester747 And again today, for both of you.
Sending light, hope and positive energy to you both. Keeping you in my thoughts.
@Pamela
Thanks so much! Update below.
Prayers and hugs. May you both end up ok on the other end of this.
@CaptAmehrican
We’re getting closer to the other side and I thank you SO much for your support! You always seem to be around reaching out when needed. I appriciate you so very much! Thank you again! Update below.
I hope you have a beautiful dawn after this dark time. Prayers winging their way to you both.
@mehnyblooms How beautiful!! Thanks for the love, he’s definetly feeling it! Update below.
Father God, thank you for your healing graces. You are our great physician. Send also your Holy Sprit to comfort this anxious family during this difficult time. Amen.
@nickm461
Thank you for your prayer, its wonderful and also working! He’s making progres slow and steady. Update below.
Sent. Don’t forget to take care of yourself too.
@speediedelivery
@speediedelivery
I’m trying my best! Thank you so much! Update below.
Just prayed.
@zinimusprime
Thank you!
Praying for both Johnny and you!
@Drgault01
Thank you so much!
Prayers and ghost hugs are on their way
/giphy ghost hug
@tinamarie1974
I’ve been back for many hugs! Thank you so much!
Update below.
Prayed.
@KENSAI
Recieved!! Thanks so very much! Update below.
Praying for Johnny. Praying for you.
I’ve been on a vent. I had MRSA and ARDS. I’ve also had a tracheotomy. Mine was not permanent and actually made being on the vent easier on me. Talk to the docs and find out exactly what kind of trach they want to do. Ask as many questions as you need to. Don’t let the doc or nurse leave until all of your questions are answered Try your best not to panic. Always remember, your friends, either in person or online, we are always here for you. Also never forget God is with you too.
Prayers will continue. Keep us updated. Let me know if you need me.
@jelliott04
facebook.com/jay.elliott
@jelliott04 …and don’t forget to breathe- long slow breath in, hold for a few seconds, then long slow exhale- does a body good, does a mind and heart good too.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and you and Johnny are surrounded by thoughts, wishes, and prayers of support and care.
God bless and keep you both.
@jelliott04 Thank God for folks like you!
@Lynnerizer Dad had a permanent trach due to post polio syndrome (something that gets progressively worse so no chance of that being reversible). He was so happy to get that tube out his throat and not be sedated even though he still needed respiration assisted ventilation the rest of his life (due to how post polio syndrome progressively robs many of their lung capacity). The two things he didn’t like so much is the suction that needed done occasionally each day and having to learn how to talk with it. He was grateful that this option was available as it improved his quality of life substantially from the ventilator with the tube down this throat situation. Hopefully your husband’s lungs will eventually recover and it can be removed like @jelliott04’s was. I know the rest of us were grateful that this was even an option. Obviously not ideal but better than what was. Again wishing you both (and the rest of your family) strength and know that the meh community is thinking of your family daily.
@dagirlgenius @jelliott04
You got that right!!
Thank goodness for all of you awesomely wonderful people!!
@jelliott04 @Kidsandliz
❤❤❤
Thanks so much for sharing your personal experiences with these simalar situations. I too was on the ventilator a few years back, by the grace of God I made a full recovery and didn’t need a tracheaotomy. It’s a whole other story being on the other side!! Idk how the heck my family got through these awful feelings…
There’s so many questions to ask and i’m getting there one at a time. I’ve taken care of clients in the past with a trache, having to clean and suction so that part doesn’t concern me. Well let’s just say it doesn’t scare me and that i’m familiar with it. I was a CNA and loved caring for people one on one. The hardest part is the unknown. Right now i’m just wanting him to survive! They talk about the stages of grief when someone dies well i’m finding myself going through some of them now! I’ve been bargaining and getting angry. I’m getting angry telling Johnny (in my mind) that he’s not going to be seeing his father and other best friend who both passed away just a few months ago! I’m ever so grateful for the the entire team of medical staff that’s caring for Johnny. Unfortunately they’re stumped right now and can’t find the reason his fevers aren’t responding to meds or ice baths and everything else. 104.5° was the highest and it’s been stubborn around 102° for several days. I’m trying to be mindful of his privacy and think i’m good, only saying this here and not anywhere else. That being said, there was a incedent on Saturday. While maneuvering him with the hoiya lift they said he coughed and extubated himself by accident. They bagged him until anesthesia was able to intubate him again. (no code was called) With the trauma of it all, and swelling, they almost lost his airway. Now I know that they promote coughing to get up secretions so i’m confused as to how or why a cough was enough for him to cause a accidental extubation? Now he did have 4 other people, the hoiya lift, wires, tubes, other machines and the additional bed that they were trying to transfer him to all crowded in this space. So my point being, (IMO) it’s more likely that someone tripped or got caught up on the tube rather than “him coughing” it up! I don’t usually think like that, Johnnys the one who would most likely jump to that conclusion. So it’s something i’m not taking lightly, I haven’t shared my opinion with any other family members. I can’t stand what this is doing to my mind. It’s gotta be 100 times worse only because i’m not allowed to go be with him! “Before Saturday’s incedent” I did do a zoom video and I could see and talk to him. Of course he’s sedated but I know that he hears me! He actually looks really good, better than I expected!
This is so hard and it just really does suck SO bad!! I just want him to start getting better!! He loves life SO much and doesn’t deserve it. If he didn’t have such a huge heart he might have went to hospital earlier, he was so worried about everyone else!
@jelliott04 @Lynnerizer I’d guess that some of what you are going through (besides tremendous worry) is the emotional pain of grieving in advance. How can you not when he is so sick, so much is unknown and he isn’t getting any better yet.
We did that for four months before my father finally died of the two secondary, antibiotic resistant infections he had caught when hospitalized for something else (at least with covid-19 everyone is being more careful so I’d guess hospital induced secondary infections are less common right now). In the end he decided to commit assisted suicide - illegal at the time and he was in a catholic facility so highly unusual they allowed that. On the one hand we hoped. On the other we knew in his case the odds weren’t good as post polio syndrome is progressive and it would just be a matter of time before these secondary infections would kill him unless a miracle happened.
Take care and I am glad they were able to set up a video visit. Not even close to having it in person for you, however he may not have known you actually weren’t there when he heard your voice. And next time, if they didn’t do it this time, maybe whomever is holding the device used can hold his hand in proxy for you, maybe stroke his arm or do other things the two of you do, as that might be something that would help him feel you are there too.
@jelliott04 Thank you! Excellent advice for someone struggling through a situation like this.
@KayceMcM
@jelliott04 @PhysAssist
Thank you so much for all your love and support. Breathing and relaxation has been key to gettig through this. You all are the most wonderful people! Update below.
@jelliott04 @Kidsandliz
I’ve always been a supporter of helping along end of life comfort as we did with both my grandmothers. I wish it was aviliable to everyone if need be! Thank you again for sharing your story, i’ve been back to read it many times!
Prayers offered for you and Johnny. May you experience the strength and peace of Christ and may the divine healer place his hands and bring a complete recovery.
@jimmyd103 Thanks for all the love, it’s helped so much!
You both are in my thoughts.
How awful for both of you. I wish you both strength through this incredibly difficult time.
@Kidsandliz
Update below. Thanks again for your support!
Praying
@rm9116
Thanks so much! Prayers have been answerd. Update below.
Happy to. Hope you can find some comfort in knowing that there will be many people sending prayers and good thoughts your way.
@sophi I’ve had so much comfort in all the love you guys have pouring out. Don’t know how I would’ve gotten through this without you all. Update below.
Sending prayers of healing for Johnny, wisdom and compassion for the medical staff caring for him, and peace and strength for you!
@dagirlgenius
Thank you so much! The staff have been great!
Update below.
Praying For Johnny & You
@Cindy070811
Thanks so much, prayers have been answerd. Update below
Rest assured you are in my thoughts and i am sending
“good vibes” your way.
Please keep us posted.
One of the worst ‘unforeseen circumstances’ of the whole CoViD 19 adventure has been not being able to have family in the hospital/nursing home with patients. I am sure this has been a particularly hellish experience (for you both).
Congrats on the 30th last month, and here’s hoping you will share 30+ more…
@chienfou
Thanks again! Update below.
Johnny - and you - just went to the top of my prayer list.
@mehcuda67 Please keep us up there just a little longer, he’s doing great! Thanks so much! Update below.
@Lynnerizer Consider it done!!
Sending prayers, good vibes and hugs!
@justan79 Thanks so much! Update below.
It always seems like the best people go through the worst times. Don’t give up hope, he absolutely can come back from this. I’m sending all the positive energy I can to Johnny and you.
@phonepole You are so very right, the best people get it the worst! Thanks for the love and support!
Update below.
Prayers for a quick recovery!
@Redbird1325
Thanks! Update below.
Prayers going up for Johnny! You couldn’t ask a better group for support. This wisecracking group of nuts knows how to come together when it counts! Johnny is lucky to have you.
@ThunderChicken
You guys sure do! Best punch of nuts ive never met!! Thank you so much! Update below.
How devastating! My heart goes out to you and your family. Praying for you all. Please keep us posted!
@wingerSLP
Thank you so much! Update below.
Haven’t been on in a while so I’m just seeing this. Praying for safety and healing for Johnny, comfort and strength for you, wisdom and determination for the doctors and nurses, and the presence of others in your lives who can provide the assurance that you are not alone, you are loved, and that there is found in God a peace that surpasses our ability to comprehend it and that such piece shall be yours.
@ybmuG Thank you for your love and support, its helped more than I can express! Update below.
Peace hope and smiles
@Lynnerizer We worry, we care, some pray. We send love.
I keep checking back to this thread for the good news.
If the good news isn’t here, yet, then I pray some more.
Strength and prayers to you.
@JnKL Good news! Update below. Thank you for your support it’s helped both of us through these awful times.
Yeah, definitely keep us posted!
@zinimusprime
Update below. Thank you so much!
@Lynnerizer - Saying prayers for you, Johnny, and your family.
Has there been any improvement since the last time you posted?
@KayceMcM
Yes, he is off the vent!
I shared a update below. Thanks for your support!
@Lynnerizer
sending you and Johnny some light.
@pippakay Update below. Thank you so very much!
I wanted to update you all on Johnny’s continuing recovery.
Always!
He was able to bypass the need for the tracheaotomy and he was able to be extubated instead. They tried one last time before going to the OR and the extubation was successful! Unfortunately since then it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions and poor Johnny has been put through the ringer!! He’s been extremely agitated and confused! They’re calling it CCU dilerium and also said it’s due to elevated ammonia levels. Just last night one nurse mentioned Hepatic encephalopathy. I haven’t found out yet if that’s “her word” or a actual diagnosis? She described it’s meaning as a wide range of things for his confusion. Not so true, it’s pretty clear that means definite brain damage. I wasn’t really surprised at all because the very first time I saw him on video I could see I was looking at someone who definitely had some sort of TBI/traumatic brain injury. So it was almost a relief to have someone else “finally” addmit it to me! 25 years ago I had a TBI when in a terrible car accident and i’ve made a full recovery. With THAT being said I have complete faith that he WILL recover!!
Johnny and I never married due to my needs for medical insurance. Because of this it’s not been easy dealing with all of the B.S concerning hipa law’s. Even though we’ve been together for 30 years and I have continued to stay with his mother and caring for her every single need his brother is still thinking that HE should be the one to make medical desicions about my Johnny! It’s absurd!! My stepson, Johnny’s child who i’ve been his mother figure since he was 14 months old, agrees that I should make the decisions. I was just told last night that he is in need of a temporary medical conservator. This brother who’s larger than life EGO is the same one who gave them permission to put him on the ventilator in the first place. Johnny would have NEVER agreed to be put on the ventilator and this is something that we’ve talked about more times than I care to admit. Since I was put on the ventilator only 5 years ago and his father was almost put on it 2 years ago it was a ongoing topic of discussion. Who the heck needs this added stress at times like this and WHO the heck would do this to a brother & his family who you claim to love? Apparently a BIG ass with a even bigger EGO!! We will get through this and believe me even if we don’t marry we’ll be having some sort of legal papers drawn up!
Thank you so much to all of you for your prayers, good thoughts and continued support! Even though I haven’t been vocal I’ve been here holding on to your love! Never thought i’d be getting SO much back from the Meh.com family! You guys are the best!
Peace hope and smiles
@Lynnerizer
I know it is too late, but medical and financial powers of attorney (POAs) during incapacitation are documents you and your Johnny should have had drawn up when marriage wasn’t going to be in the cards.
Unfortunately, legally, next of kin is his brother. Also unfortunate that he doesn’t seem to be including you or his nephew in these important life-changing decisions, since they affect you and your (not-quite) step-son the most, not him.
And to make matters worse, if Johnny passes, his son may have to live with his uncle, since you are not legally related to your “step-son”.
I just went through something similar with my father before he passed away and dealing with who had the authority to make decisions for him and who didn’t and couldn’t. Family is not always as clear cut as blood relatives and marriage contracts when HIPPA was passed.
@Lynnerizer I’m so glad to hear that Johnny is getting better. If his mother is mentally competent or his son is over 18 one of them might be able to be appointed conservator. Either of them is likely to be considered closer next of kin than the brother. A few years ago my father had surgery with serious complications. He was extremely confused for a while afterward but regained his mental faculties within a few weeks. I hope this turns out to be true for Johnny. Still sending all good thoughts and prayers your way.
@mike808
Well thanks for clearing up one of my questions about who is considerd next of kin. I thought his 31 year old son, my suto stepson would have been the one. The Dr did say that Johnny WAS clear enough and able to name the person who he wants just not clear enough to make those important medical decsions. Come Monday i’ll definetly be calling are lawyer. I wonder if this will also void out Johnny’s power of atorney he’s got for or on his mother? (It’s getting messy) With so many people going through simular situations i’m really surprised the hippa laws were not changed to acommadate these things. What ever happened to common law marriage? Thanks again for your advise & opinions it’s super comforting. Especialy at 5am on a Sunday morning when the only other one listening doesn’t respond verbally!
@Pamela
Always!!
Thanks Pamela! I’m praying this mental thing he’s got going on ends just like your dads did! Right now he’s 38 days in with 18 of them on the vent. He’s got so much hard work in front of him but he is more determined than ever! It’s crazy how much strength and courage he’s shown while fighting this! He’s never once complained about anything!!
@Lynnerizer Ugggh! You do not need the added stress. I would have guessed that Johnny’s son would have rights over his brother too. When he is able, definitely get a will, living will and power of attorney for both of you. I am happy to hear Johnny is improving. Continuing good thoughts and prayers
@Lynnerizer So glad to hear Johnny is doing better. Good luck with untangling the legal issues, and definitely speak with that lawyer.
@Lynnerizer
You didn’t say your “son” was 31. I mean no disrespect by using quotes. As his son, unless the brother has medical POA, the son has more authority to make those decisions. He needs to step up and insist his voice be heard and he can even shut his father’s relatives out of the process if he chooses. It sounds like he may need to act sooner if the uncle is moving to get a judge to declare himself as conservator. Your son might want to get an attorney to file an objection to the uncle’s petition to name himself as conservator.
You may want to get or establish common-law domestic partner status for yourself as well. Because if the uncle gets conservatorship, he can also change beneficiaries on insurance policies and take control over financial accounts, including joint accounts you have with your partner, and 401Ks, etc. without your consent or knowledge.
HIPPA and powers of attorney only recognize blood relatives and relatives by lawful marriage.
Side note - that’s been a major challenge for non-traditional blended families and domestic partners and LGBTQ+ families when they intersect with these child custody and medical decision-making and end-of-life decisions that are almost always surrounded by tragedy on top of the complications from the difficult decisions themselves.
@Lynnerizer Thanks for the update. This made my day! God is good! So glad he didn’t need the teach and they weaned him off the ventilator successfully. Still keeping you guts in prayer.
@Lynnerizer
Thanks for keeping us up to date. You owe us nothing. We are privileged to partake in supporting you through this, however we can. Seems you’ve gotten some good advice already and I have nothing more to add other than we continue to pray for you both.
Hope and pray each day he gets better.
@wojtek Thanks!!
I’m coming into this so late but God, I hope things get better. The whole family thing sounds like an utter nightmare, and just wish I could give you a hug
Sending a lot of virtual ones, and a ton of prayers too, hang in there 
@kerryzero
Thank you so much. The whole thing has been a nightmare and it’s all so unnecessary! It’s almost unbelievable that all us players see each other almost daily and we carry on with only underlying tention for the sake of their mother. Praying for a end to this madness!!
Peace, hope and smiles, always!!
Just a few thoughts:
@chienfou Good point about common law marriages. Hopefully they are good in her state so that she would have priority.
@Lynnerizer here is what I could quickly find about common law marriages (NOLO is pretty reputable as is npr with respect to fact checking):
https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/free-books/living-together-book/chapter2-4.html
https://www.npr.org/2016/09/04/487825901/no-you-re-not-in-a-common-law-marriage-after-7-years-of-dating
Good luck with this.
@chienfou @Lynnerizer Which states and what they require:
https://www.unmarried.org/common-law-marriage-fact-sheet/
@lynnerizer
So… Any more good news?
How is Johnny doing?
Johnny’s continuing to recover! I’m not quite sure what the hospital was thinking but they tried to send him home on July 1st! No rehab facility would accept him while needing 24/7, one on one supervision. Going home with nursing, PT, OT and CNA help from the VNA was our ONLY option.Talk about setting someone up for failure! He was still SO weak and deconditioned he barely made it up the four steps into the house. His swallowing muscles were obliviously still just as weak because ONLY 22 hours later he was addmited back to the hospital’s CCU. That’s right, back to the critical care unit with a fever of 104.2°! Turns out that he aspirated and another pneumonia was brewing! I was told they were going to most likely need to put him back on the ventilator. When the ER Dr told me that over the phone I couldn’t help but to yell out saying NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! I told him there’s NO way Johnny would make it through another round on the ventilator, not after what he’d just been through! I asked him to “PLEASE, pull from your schooling and save his life”! And to ONLY use the ventilator as a last resort!
Low and behold 24 hours later Johnny was ready to be transferred to a regular floor!! He DIDN’T NEED the ventilator!!
I truly believe that SOME of these Dr’s are extremely stressed and overworked with all that’s going on with the Covid-19 and jump to quickly to last resort measures!
Today is August 18th and brighter days are finally here!! While Johnny continued on his way back to health his 84 year old mother who i’d been caring for started having her own difficulties. I just couldn’t catch a break!!
Always!
She ended up 3 weeks in the hospital and then back home with a pacemaker. Now my overworked disabled body is taking care of the BOTH of them and honestly I wouldn’t want it any other way!! It’s so awesome to have Johnny home and almost back to normal! Actually what the heck IS normal, it sure isn’t probably ever going to get back to the pre Covid 19 normal. As long as he’s by my side it’s normal enough for me!! I do tell him how you guys have been there sending love, prayers and lots of support! You guys are the best and I thank you so much! I’ve never been through such a roller coaster of feelings, the one feeling I never had was that feeling of being alone and of course that’s because of all of you! Thanks again from the bottom of my heart!
Peace hope and smiles, Always!
MEALS! DEALS! EELS! AWESOME!
@Lynnerizer wow, what a ride. I hope it continues going up from here.
@Lynnerizer Amazing strength you found when you really needed it. I am happy to hear that life is looking good now. I hope if I need it I can care for mine so well.
@Lynnerizer I am glad things are finally starting to look up! He is so lucky to have you as a wife.
@Lynnerizer Yay!
@Lynnerizer I’m so happy to hear he’s doing well. All my wishes for things to go smoothly for both of you.
@Lynnerizer You are wonderful! Being a caretaker is SO HARD and I can’t imagine carrying for 2 people and dealing with your own health problems at the same time!
I’m so so glad that your guy is doing better - thanks in large part to your being his advocate and steady presence. I hope things keep improving for all 3 of you, and quickly!