Perplexed by people making assumptions.
28So… I sent the manager of the Central Bank of Nicaragua $1500 to process a check worth $75000 which I was going to split with someone in order to get assistance completing the paperwork for a castle in Transylvania to be put under my name so that I could then let a Nigerian princess have it in exchange for her putting me in touch with her sister. However, I haven’t heard back from any of them. Kinda disappointed. I think they think that I’m trying to scam them.
Any ideas on what my next move should be?
- 14 comments, 61 replies
- Comment
Leave 5k with me for travel expenses and I’ll go talk to him in person for you.
@PantHeist
So… I just sent the IRS $2500 worth of iTunes gift cards to take care of a tax discrepancy, but I’ll see what I can do.
(Different link.)
@someRiverNoise I’m sure he’ll reimburse you the 5k from his cut, so don’t worry about it.
Probably should wire them $1500 more. Just in case they can’t find the check. Also @PantHeist might need some help so send me 5k too and I will go along to help.
@Kidsandliz @PantHeist
4F73R D3C1PH3R1NG 4N 3M41L 1 G07 DU3 70 17 U51NG L337, 4PP4R3N7LY 1 W0N 4 F3W FR33 R0UND 7R1P F1R57 CL455 71CK375 0N 7H3 7H3 41RL1N3 0F MY CH01C3. 1 JU57 N33D 70 C0MPL373 7H3 P4P3RW0RK 4ND 53ND 7H3M MY 55N 4ND CR3D17 C4RD 1NF0.
So, looks like the two of you will be travelling in style.
@someRiverNoise n0, d0n’7 d0 7h47. @Kidsandliz 4nd 1 w1ll n33d 70 purch453 7h3 71ck375 0ur53lv35. w3’ll 3v3n 637 y0u fr3qu3n7 fl13r m1l35 45 w3ll 45 fully r31mbur53d.
@someRiverNoise You do realize that @PantHeist and I will also need your credit card information too… After all the travel expenses are more than airfare. Likely we will also need your social security number as well since we plan to buy
travellife insurance on you in case something happens and you are in arrears with paying us.I am sorry to hear of your trouble. I can help you regain some of your lost money. I actually have some prime real estate in Florida for sale. While I have had many offers for it, I am willing to offer it only to you at a low, low price as you seem like a nice person.
@mfladd I would like some nice ocean front property in Manhattan, KS. Please let me know what you have available there. A Nigerian princess is buying it for me, the funds are being guaranteed by @someRiverNoise just as soon as that transaction is completed and we get back from
vacationthe business trip where we are assisting in that deal as currier.@Kidsandliz
Why would you want to live in Kansas? Most people don’t do that willingly.
@someRiverNoise I wouldn’t (although a niece loved grad school there) … just giving @mfladd a hard time : )
@Kidsandliz I am confused I thought you were delivering the money what does your job as a leather worker have to do with anything??
@jbartus spell check got me - courier, not currier oops LOL
@Kidsandliz
Currier or Ives. Which one are you?
Ya know what, forget all your current problems because I can sell you a machine that outputs more energy than you put in… just think about it… you can start your own power company… and then use the profits to fly the princess over!
@thismyusername
Sounds great. When can we meet up and do the transaction?
@someRiverNoise I will contact you to tell you the amount for the plans, and which trashcan to leave the cash in.
@someRiverNoise I think the machine @thismyusername is offering violates the first law of thermodynamics so I’d be wary. Then again, if you think it’s possible and accept his/her’s alternative truth, double down and buy two - one for yourself and one to impress the princess
.
@elimanningface no way man, my machine finds the most gullible people on earth and extracts the energy in the form of cash… it really works!!!
@Ignorant No creme tees.
@narfcake that must be why it never printed
@Ignorant is Nigeria’s country code 419? Google says its 234.
@elimanningface 419 is their mail fraud code.
For some good anti-scam baits, visit 419eater.com
@narfcake Ohio?
@narfcake
Read a thing about that where a guy kept a scammer on the line for a while.
He kept on asking the scammer to come clean. The guy did. The guy who got the call told the scammer that he didn’t mind being on the line since it prevented the scammer from calling other people.
The scammer laughed and said he didn’t care. The room was filled with a couple hundred other people.
Yes, I skipped out a lot of words, but the gist is there,
@elimanningface
http://shirt.woot.com/offers/the-good-morning-state
@someRiverNoise As much as that ass laughed it off, kudos for the anti-scammer wasting their time. I have zero sympathy for those working in such boiler room operations whose sole purpose is ripping off others.
@someRiverNoise hah! I don’t know if you read my story, but those words sound darned close to the story I posted here a while back!
Although, I didn’t ask him to come clean until the end after he had first attempted to get me to wire the money from my bank and then via Western Union at the local Kroger. I later asked the Kroger folks how often they see this scam and they readily handed me the Western Union fraud form.
I stayed on the line because we have older relatives and I wanted to learn. These “IRS agents” were really pretty impressive. They even tried to tie up both our landline and mobile so we couldn’t check up on them while “they were checking with their supervisor to authorize the IRS settlement.”
@RedOak
The IRS scammers tried it on a phone of a acquaintance once. This guy didn’t have blocking mode set up and was in the pool. He was expecting a call from his daughter so he yelled at me to answer. it was an IRS scammer.
By this time the phone owner was out of the pool and I put the phone on speaker so he could hear.
Then I played along. The police were coming to arrest me and seize all my assets any second. I kept making out like I couldn’t understand what they were saying, made them repeat stuff for me a lot.
Finally when they were really pressing me to go to the grocery store, I asked them to tell me what my name was and where I was, in order to help the police find me. So they wanted to tell them, of course.
At that point I went into an “I’m Santa’s Elf at the North Pole” thing. They tried to go “this is serious”, and get all threatening, but they could hear all the people listening to the call laughing, and making fake reindeer noises and calling for “Rudolph”. so they hung up.
Then the phone owner put his phone into blocking mode.
@f00l I can be entertaining to mess with them. And I suspect they enjoy that more than the typical hang up anyway.
You should fly to Nigeria and apologize in person for trying to scam them, and also introduce yourself to the princess’s sister properly. Wear a fancy watch so they’ll know you’re legit.
This scamming is a crime, folks. I have a plan to fix this. First, we’re going to build a wall between the US and Nigeria, and the princesses will pay for it, people. The princesses will pay and they’d better be hotties.
I am the only one who can deal with this. I know more than the Nigerians. Trust me. When I’m in charge, it’s gonna be great!
/image Oval Office.
@f00l Yes a Firewall around the whole country, that will keep them out. Nigeria will pay for it too.
@cranky1950
Nope. Not all Nigerians. .
only the princesses.
The Pincessess will pay for the wall and they will do the work.
In swimsuits and bodysuits.
And only the hottest princesses.
I’ve checked them out, people
I inspected them personally.
These are best and hottest best wall-building swim-suited princesses in the world.
From Nigeria, I promise you.
And It’s gonna be great.
Just wait. It’s gonna be great.
@f00l Nigeria will pay for it, we just need to send them 30 billion dollars first so their bank will release their account. They will return it to us with some extra billions for the favor.
@ELUNO
We’re sending the Princesses to Nigeria to get the money, people. This is gonna happen. The princesses are going with the NSA and Vlad The Inhaler is in charge. Look forward to it, people.
And they’re gonna get all Nigeria’s assets and bring them back. All the assets, I tell ya. All of them. Maybe even more Princesses.
And then the Princesses are gonna model swimsuits and bodysuits, people. And I as President am gonna work with the NSA to judge which are the hottest Princesses in the hottest clothes.
And the ones that are not so hot, we’ll be putting them on treadmills and diets, people. And pretty soon those Princesses will be hot. Maybe even hotter that the ones that were already hot.
And then all the really hot Princesses will put in their bodysuits and their swimsuits and Vlad will be in charge, and that wall is gonna be built. And we’re gonna charge the audience to watch the hottest Princesses get all sweaty building that wall. And people will pay to watch, people. Hot sweaty Princesses, people. I tell ya.
And between the money we took from Nigeria and the money we get from people watching the Princesses, that Wall will be built and paid for, and it’s gonna be great. We may out a catwalk on top of it, people. So you can keep watching the Princesses. We just may.
And we may put a special cage by the wall, so you can yell at journalists, folks. And we’re gonna charge for that, and that’s how we’ll raise money to maintain that wall. It’s gonna be the greatest wall that was ever built, folks. Come on, people. Pony up. We’re only gonna have the very best journalists, at the greatest wall, right there so you can yell at them. America is gonna be great again. Hot Princesses, people.
Amd that wall is gonna protect us from scammers on the other side of the ocean, folks. Cause this time it’s America first. Plus some hot Princesses. They’re first too. Only the best.
Can’t you just see it? It will just be so great.
@f00l
Just texted her. She didn’t know anything about a wall.
@someRiverNoise
Princesses know when to keep info close to the chest, so to speak.
You should enroll in the Rump University School of Computer Stuff-- Internet Scam and Hacking certificate program. Only major credit cars accepted.
Accredited by the National Association of Online Schools of Internet Stuff, Commission on Accreditation.
@cranky1950 Yes you will be a yuge success. This school has the best reputation. I understand you use the most honest instructors. The best. I hear that you recommended them yourself. This school is also endorsed by those removed from the Black Hat for ethical issues - a very elite group.
@Kidsandliz You’re right nobody knows more about internet things than these guys. Everybody says they are the best in the world. I can guarantee that you will meet Mr Rump sometime during the course.
@cranky1950
Your guys don’t compare to my swim-suited wall-building paying for the wall Nigerian princesses. Don’t compare.
Trust me.
Your guys dont compare.
@f00l Of course they don’t compare, my guys don’t have to compare they’re the best in the world everybody says so. Everybody who don’t is a loser wannabe. Everybody knows walls only work for Mexicans and other little tan peoples. For `scammers we need the help of my friend and confidant who I’ve never personally met Vlad the Inhaler. Anybody who knows anything agrees with me.
@cranky1950
I’ll let Vlad the Inhaler be crew chief on the Wall construction. He can make the sure the princesses are truly hot. It’s awesome people.
Awesome.
@f00l I agree anything Vlad does is awesome. He has a way of marching right in and taking over when you least expect it. All the crybaby losers say so. Makes me laugh, he’s such a great friend and inspiration, he gets a bad rap. He should get the keys to DC if not the whole country.
@cranky1950
I tell ya.
Gonna be great
Trust me.
@f00l Booyah
This is old, but worth a listen if you haven’t heard https://www.ted.com/talks/james_veitch_this_is_what_happens_when_you_reply_to_spam_email
@naropa
I have his book and have watched his YouTube videos.
@naropa
thank you for sharing!
I got something from the Customs and Border Patrol office requesting I pay an Import fee of $57,000.00 along with some paperwork. They neglected to attach the paperwork and no address to send the money. I replied to the e-mail and it got kicked back. I was hoping it was the strand of pearls that meh was sending…I NEED HELP!!!
@nfi
Waiting …
I really hope this is fake.
@wendyccastillo Oh no, fake news
@denboy
JANE CURTIN!!!
@wendyccastillo No, I guarantee you this is all 100% bona fide! You too can turn a paltry investment into a fortune with a little help from yours truly!
@someRiverNoise
Don’t listen to Jane. She’s nothing but an insolent and ignorant slut.
@f00l
Never watched SNL.
I know her from The Librarians.
@someRiverNoise
Some version of the news as given in YouTube clip used to play weekly on the original SNL after Chevy Chase left. Ackroyd used that phrase every week.
It was a takeoff on Shana Alexander vs James Kilpatrick on Point/Counterpoint.
@f00l I used to love to watch those.
There’s one thing I’m slightly nervous about though.
@someRiverNoise
Yes?
@someRiverNoise Ciguatera toxin?
@f00l
We spoke once on the phone. She had a masculine voice.
I’m starting to think her and her sister aren’t princesses.
@someRiverNoise
That’s could be a fake scammer princess.
Got an email today from James B. Comey (who was using an email address with a Japanese domain) informing me that the United Nations has a fund to give money to people, and I won $10.3 Million.
All I have to do is contact the NY Federal Reserve which has an AOL email address and arrange for the funds to be given to me.
They only want my name, address, occupation contact number.
Seems perfectly legitimate.
@PlacidPenguin
Haven’t you always wanted $10M out of nowhere?
@f00l
No. I honestly just want a restock of a certain foreign toothpaste.
Oh, and a certain brand of pickles which @cinoclav suggested.
I also got a different email from the FBI with a Japanese domain.
ATTENTION EMAIL OWNER!!!
Fraud Department Agent DEAN SMITH and Dean Smith Iii Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division Fbi Headquarters In Washington, D.C. Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
Am writing to make you understand that this is AGENT DEAN SMITH representing the office of the FBI Director and our fraud department in which i head has been informed about your refusal to comply with the directives from the FBI and we are going ahead with the arrest by today and tomorrow. We monitored your contact with this con men through our global tracking device that detect all the incoming and outgoing e-mails and telephone calls globally from all the countries of the world. We have your e-mail address under our monitoring device set-up any more e-mails to the fraudsters from you will be automatically detected…Our concern in this issue is for your name to be cleared from the scammers list which has already been submitted to all the crimes agencies in Benin, Germany and United States Of America. We make sure that the laws are followed to the core and this is why the Benin Government which its citizen carried out the fraudulent activities with your information’s which you sent to them have to compensate you with the amount as regards the FBI Laws of Sub-Section 12/13 Of the United States Anti-crimes laws.
We have in our file your details which you sent to them and we have checked and found out that you are a honest and hard working person and by this regards we decided to persuade the Benin Government to compensate you for the evil deeds that was carried out with your name.The German man knows that you are the person because he was duped with your identity and this fraudulent activities was carried out by the same people who you have been forwarding your information’s/details to all this while with the pretense of dealing with the right offices in Africa
and other countries of the world
You will have to get the CLEARANCE from the office of the High Court of Justice in Benin at the sum of $120Usd.( Dollars Only) This certificate will enable you to get access to the compensation funds of $5.5Million Usd which was offered to you by the Benin Government and don’t forget that you need to get the document within 2 days from now as you already know the deadline given to you to secure the documents.If not for the fact that we checked your data before acting towards this directives given to us, you would have been arrested by now and jailed because of your association with criminals in the internet and don’t forget our warnings to you.You will have to forward your bank account details to us where you want the $5.5Million Usd to be transferred into as soon as you secure the CLEARANCE FORM.
The German business man who was duped with your identity has reported this case to the world court and it will involve the Government of both countries which are Germany and USA and that is the reason why you must get this document immediately so as to avoid anybody calling your name as being among the fraudsters. With the Certificate, you are free from any form of crimes as your data shows that you are a honest and respectable person in the society. You will have to send the fees to the High Court of Justice over there in Benin within 2days from now so that our local agent can be able to apply our modalities with the High Court of Justice to issue the CLEARANCE FORM to you.Send the fees of $120Usd Usd through Western Union Money Transfer with the name of the account officer in High Court of Justice.
Receivers Name:David Nwabu
Country: Benin Republic
City: Cotonou
Amount: $120Usd.
As soon as you send the fees, you will have to get back to us with the following details which are Senders Name and Address, MTCN Number, Text Question and Answer Used and the amount Sent.
As soon as all this requirements are in place, the Certificate will be issued to you and then the compensation funds of $5.5Million Usd will be transferred into your bank account.
To avoid the riot of the law on you and your entire family, we have been pleased to allow you secure the document from the High Court of Justice so that your name could be cleared off the fraudulent list and we also argued with the Benin Republic Government about your compensations and that was the reason why you were compensated with the sum of $5.5,000,000 Usd.
Thanks as I wait for your response
Respectively
AGENT DEAN SMITH
FBI SPECIAL AGENT
FBI Director
james comey
@PlacidPenguin
Well I certainly would wish to avoid a
From Benin.
And James Comey is onto you.
@f00l
Turns out it’s a scam for 2 reasons:
They refer to me as “honest”.
They admit to intercepting all emails and phone calls everywhere. The real government would never admit to the truth.
@PlacidPenguin That is truly a thing of beauty.
@blaineg
@PlacidPenguin
It’s s Thong Of Beauty?
So you two know each other rather well?
/image “thong of beauty”
@f00l
No clue who that is.
@f00l
That mehmber, not the person in the picture.
Google image search told me the answer to that.