@hchavers as an older mom who wears heels time to time, I theorize this started by a mom whose heel got stuck in a crack, pitched forward and ended up very bruised and pulled a few back muscles. Not that I did that myself a few years ago, nope, not me.
@2many2no But you can jump off of play houses on to trampolines when a parent prudently trimmed the tree branches. Right? (actually my kid and her friend were doing that at that kid’s house).
Sometimes Mom and Dad aren’t just blowing smoke when they tell you not to do something. Like sticking a bobby pin in the electrical outlet. Or peeing on an electrical fence. Those could have been a bit more clearly delineated than the other annoying “Don’t do that!” stuff.
1A. That a small rock, a rubber ball, a tube of toothpaste and your mom’s expensive sewing shears will all hit the cement sidewalk at the same time when dropped off the rear porch of your third story apartment, and the feather duster will take longer to fall, thus proving something about gravity that you saw in an exhibit at the science museum last week.
1B. Expensive sewing shears will not survive the 40 foot drop intact.
1C. The ball will bounce about 15 high.
1D. The toothpaste tube, disappointingly, did not explode.
1E. You’re in deep shit when mom goes looking for her shears …
@tinamarie1974 This is how you learn valuable management skills like how to delegate or which jobs to outsource. I had plenty of younger siblings to practice on. Strangely, they all still talk to me.
@mehcuda67 me too!! After feeling electric (thanks uncle), I passed the joy on to my little sis and it became her job to test the 9v’s. For some reason she would do it, until dad caught wind. He decided to teach me how to use his multi meter to test batteries. I think I was around 7 and thus began my love of messing with dads tools…
Whoever smelt it dealt it.
@yakkoTDI also, if you denied it, you supplied it.
Shitting in your pants and having someone else deal with it is really great. I’m looking forward to doing it again in my later years.
Missing the middle of cement squares is really, really bad for your mom.
@hchavers as an older mom who wears heels time to time, I theorize this started by a mom whose heel got stuck in a crack, pitched forward and ended up very bruised and pulled a few back muscles. Not that I did that myself a few years ago, nope, not me.
When you wake up from a nap because your ass is burning…it was your siblings with Bengay.
Don’t step in the hole
The little steam holes along the curling iron are supposed to point away from your head.
Being thrown out of home because your parents have drug problems may show an uptick in your life.
Mothers hanging out clothes together can get pretty punchy.
Never jump out of a 2nd story window with a waffle design woven blanket as your parachute. It won’t stay open in your hands.
Don’t lie about it.
They wouldn’t be asking you about it if they didn’t already know the answer. Attempting a lie will just make it so much worse.
@2many2no Corollaries to above:
1.Don’t jump out of trees onto a trampoline.
2.Don’t use the barn roof as a slide.
@2many2no But you can jump off of play houses on to trampolines when a parent prudently trimmed the tree branches. Right? (actually my kid and her friend were doing that at that kid’s house).
Sometimes Mom and Dad aren’t just blowing smoke when they tell you not to do something. Like sticking a bobby pin in the electrical outlet. Or peeing on an electrical fence. Those could have been a bit more clearly delineated than the other annoying “Don’t do that!” stuff.
1A. That a small rock, a rubber ball, a tube of toothpaste and your mom’s expensive sewing shears will all hit the cement sidewalk at the same time when dropped off the rear porch of your third story apartment, and the feather duster will take longer to fall, thus proving something about gravity that you saw in an exhibit at the science museum last week.
1B. Expensive sewing shears will not survive the 40 foot drop intact.
1C. The ball will bounce about 15 high.
1D. The toothpaste tube, disappointingly, did not explode.
1E. You’re in deep shit when mom goes looking for her shears …
Don’t interrupt daddy’s TV show… He hits hard.
Oh wait, they were supposed to be funny??
It’s always funny till someone loses an eye.
girls are a good thing and really do make great friends.
What bugs hurt when you catch them.
@smilingjack
Bite, sting, stink…
True happiness requires damaging someone’s vision through careless use of a sharp object.
AKA “You won’t be happy until you put someone’s eye out with that thing.”
Don’t eat the yellow snow…
You can check a 9v battery by touching it on your tongue…but I would NOT recommend it!!
@tinamarie1974 This is how you learn valuable management skills like how to delegate or which jobs to outsource. I had plenty of younger siblings to practice on. Strangely, they all still talk to me.
@mehcuda67 me too!! After feeling electric (thanks uncle), I passed the joy on to my little sis and it became her job to test the 9v’s. For some reason she would do it, until dad caught wind. He decided to teach me how to use his multi meter to test batteries. I think I was around 7 and thus began my love of messing with dads tools…
If you grow up, you can’t be a toys’r’us kid.
@njfan I was a toys’r’us kid until age 55 when they went out-of-business.
Steaming cow poop is fresh cow poop.
@jaybird
“Fresh” is clearly a subjective term.
No matter what your older siblings say, rubbing poison ivy leaves all over your body will not give you life-long immunity to poison ivy.
@rockblossom nor will eating it…no I did not, but I know someone who did!!!
That cracks in sidewalks are what keep orthopedic surgeons employed.
Swimming is fun.
Don’t slide down the front walk (on a hill) in the snow trying to turn it into ice unless you have a radiator to stand on.