@robson I’m not a sadist or a psychopath… But I got hangnails all the time… also the kind that would form next to the sides of nails (not sure if those ones are technically still called hangnails)… When I would pull those side ones they would frequently become infected. As a kid I used to like squeezing them or wrapping string around the infected fingers for the sensation and to watch the colour change. Weird, I know, but there was something strangely fascinating about it to me.
@OnionSoup I thought the ones on the sides of nails were the only kind.
I used to get infections like that when I was a kid and I’d leave it alone for a few days then poke it with a needle. Watching/feeling all of the pus squirt out was so satisfying.
@brennyn I called the ones on the sides hangnails growing up… That’s what I thought they were…
But when having a conversation with my wife about hangnails one day, she said the ones at the side weren’t hangnails, only the ones at the back of the nail were hangnails. (She didn’t have an alternative name for the ones at the side)
I believed her and thought I must have grown up mistaken… But if you call the ones at the side hangnails too… Maybe she’s the one wrong. Not that I could ever tell her that.
@brennyn@OnionSoup
I also thought the only kind of hangnails were the ones on the side of your nail but apparently those are called side hangnails. The other (or regular hangnails) are on the bottom of your nail. I only have had side ones.
Google search says hangnails are caused from dry skin, minor cuts or other trauma to the skin near the nails (nail biting) and a lack of folic acid and vitamin C.
@Salanth
I had taken my sister in law out to lunch for her bday and we sat at the bar. I went to scoot in my chair and fucking seat cam apart from the bar stool and the screw that held it together went through the bottom of my nail by the cuticle. I actually sat on the screw going threw my finger and it made a hole threw the nail under the skin (that was my pinky) and ripped my nail half way off my finger on my ring finger. It hurt so incredibly fucking bad. And that was a lot of blood. We were the only people in the restaurant and the manager took forever to come over after I’m screaming in pain. And he STILL made me pay the bill for lunch, asshole. He did offer to go buy me some hydrogen peroxide. I told him to fuck off as I was going to the hospital. Spent half the day at my drs office, got numerous shots in my ass for pain and spent the next couple month seeing a hand surgeon. My nail is still all messed up on my ring finger, you can see where it ripped off and it’s trying to heal its self. My pinky did grow out with a giant hole in it and had a lot of problems for a while. Needless to say I always check to make sure the chair is attached to the seat now.
@mycya4me@Salanth@Star2236
Go back to get your money back… I would have sued him! Well… honestly, I probably wouldn’t have sued ANYONE when I was younger but now that I’m older, wiser, and more hardened I would sue if they were truly in the wrong. I’m thinking a chair that’s in a restaurant that’s not screwed together totally falls into the category of WRONG! Jus sayen.
@Kyeh Yeah, I don’t get how that happens so often. I mean, same teeth, tongue, lips and cheeks. Doing the same motion you’ve done for decades. What changes?
@Kyeh@PooltoyWolf It won’t protect against biting your lips, tongue, or cheek, but held against the sore, they do help to heal it more quickly. IDK if swallowing it really helps, but what else are you going to do with it?
@PhysAssist@PooltoyWolf I’ve tried swallowing it without much effect, but not applying it like that. I’ll try it next time, thanks. I do take acyclovir but anything to speed up the healing is good!
@Kyeh@PhysAssist@PooltoyWolf I usually just swish some high alcohol mouthwash around the wound a couple of times after the bite and it seems to heal pretty quickly.
@Kyeh@PooltoyWolf
It’s actually somewhat controversial whether aphthous ulcers [the medical term for canker sores] could be virally related- most likely herpetic.
@tweezak
I think you meant tiny plexiglass shard-related abrasion.
Notably, no bandaid was meeded to play golf the next day, but a big [what we in medicine call a sympathy dressing] bandage was conventionally necessary.
@PhysAssist@tweezak
Lol RIGHT! MY first thought when I saw the size of that big pad of gauze!
He seems like the kind of guy who’d say HECK NO, I DON’T NEED A SISSY ASS BANDAID!
At least we knew where mine went [into the sliced potatoes] and were able to inter it appropriately [in the trash], and since the potatoes were part of the dinner which was just for the 2 of us, we just rinsed them off and cooked them as usual.
When SWMBO unfortunately followed my poor example, hers apparently went flying and we never found it.
It was presumed to have been scarfed by one of our resident canines.
BTW, our mandolin has a ceramic blade, which is apparently still [more than] razor sharp and because it cut so cleanly, the little blood vessels don’t spasm closed, so bleeding is profuse when it cuts you [us].
Also the cut is so quick and slick that it takes a couple of seconds for the pain to begin, and then it’s nasty.
Also because the tissue [skin chip] is removed completely, when the bleeding was eventually stemmed, the wounds took for-freaking-ever to heal completely.
I was around 18 and jammed my thumb while adjusting the battery terminal on my car. After a week of my thumb killing me in an unbelievable amount of pain I finally went to the ER. I’d never been so embarrassed to admit that a little thumb joint was causing me unbearable excruciating pain. I mean it’s a thumb for goodness sakes… What was just as unbelievable was that as soon as they wrapped it up with an Ace bandage the pain almost disappeared! That’s a life lesson that I never forgot!
Rolling over on morning wood
@somf69 you’ll be mourning wood afterwards
Ripping off a hangnail when you know you shouldn’t, and then it bleeding all over and raw afterwards!
@robson
Especially when your on blood thinners
@robson I’m not a sadist or a psychopath… But I got hangnails all the time… also the kind that would form next to the sides of nails (not sure if those ones are technically still called hangnails)… When I would pull those side ones they would frequently become infected. As a kid I used to like squeezing them or wrapping string around the infected fingers for the sensation and to watch the colour change. Weird, I know, but there was something strangely fascinating about it to me.
@OnionSoup I thought the ones on the sides of nails were the only kind.
I used to get infections like that when I was a kid and I’d leave it alone for a few days then poke it with a needle. Watching/feeling all of the pus squirt out was so satisfying.
@brennyn I called the ones on the sides hangnails growing up… That’s what I thought they were…
But when having a conversation with my wife about hangnails one day, she said the ones at the side weren’t hangnails, only the ones at the back of the nail were hangnails. (She didn’t have an alternative name for the ones at the side)
I believed her and thought I must have grown up mistaken… But if you call the ones at the side hangnails too… Maybe she’s the one wrong. Not that I could ever tell her that.
@robson Yes, and the pain continuing for several days, especially if you use soap or cut lemons, and you know it’s your own damn fault.
@brennyn @OnionSoup
I also thought the only kind of hangnails were the ones on the side of your nail but apparently those are called side hangnails. The other (or regular hangnails) are on the bottom of your nail. I only have had side ones.
Google search says hangnails are caused from dry skin, minor cuts or other trauma to the skin near the nails (nail biting) and a lack of folic acid and vitamin C.
Sticking yourself with a sewing needle. Usually under a fingernail, just for good measure.
@katbyter Anything under or along a fingernail.
Now combine with a paper cut.
@Salanth
I had taken my sister in law out to lunch for her bday and we sat at the bar. I went to scoot in my chair and fucking seat cam apart from the bar stool and the screw that held it together went through the bottom of my nail by the cuticle. I actually sat on the screw going threw my finger and it made a hole threw the nail under the skin (that was my pinky) and ripped my nail half way off my finger on my ring finger. It hurt so incredibly fucking bad. And that was a lot of blood. We were the only people in the restaurant and the manager took forever to come over after I’m screaming in pain. And he STILL made me pay the bill for lunch, asshole. He did offer to go buy me some hydrogen peroxide. I told him to fuck off as I was going to the hospital. Spent half the day at my drs office, got numerous shots in my ass for pain and spent the next couple month seeing a hand surgeon. My nail is still all messed up on my ring finger, you can see where it ripped off and it’s trying to heal its self. My pinky did grow out with a giant hole in it and had a lot of problems for a while. Needless to say I always check to make sure the chair is attached to the seat now.
@Salanth @Star2236 I guess you never went back to that place again.
@mycya4me @Salanth
What made you guess that lol. I almost did to get my money back but I didn’t want them to give me credit so I said screw it.
@Salanth @Star2236 That sounds like a good Idea! If you like it, so do I!
@mycya4me @Salanth @Star2236
I would have sued him! Well… honestly, I probably wouldn’t have sued ANYONE when I was younger but now that I’m older, wiser, and more hardened I would sue if they were truly in the wrong. I’m thinking a chair that’s in a restaurant that’s not screwed together totally falls into the category of WRONG! Jus sayen.
Go back to get your money back…
@Lynnerizer @mycya4me @Salanth
My mom was bugging me a bunch to go back and do something to but I never did. I probably should have.
Cat scratch.
@iluvmingos Or Cat scratch fever!
Stepped on a Lego
@2many2no yep , I am sure that the devil had a room that the floor is covered with legos.& you are bare foot.
@2many2no @mycya4me
@2many2no @blaineg I love it! Revenge!
Biting your tongue or inside of your lip or cheek (which then swells so you keep biting it again.)
@Kyeh yep
@Kyeh And it turns into a massive agonizingly painful mouth ulcer that lasts for weeks. Every. Fucking. Time.
@Kyeh Yeah, I don’t get how that happens so often. I mean, same teeth, tongue, lips and cheeks. Doing the same motion you’ve done for decades. What changes?
@PooltoyWolf Oh no! I don’t get those often, thank goodness. I get cold sore though and they’re a bummer.
@macromeh Maybe our face/mouth muscles lose tone just like the others as we age?
@Kyeh I think it’s hereditary or something. Always happens, since I was very young.
@macromeh In my case- TMJ.
@Kyeh @PooltoyWolf For both try putting a tab of lysine on it for 5-10 minutes, then swallow it with water.
@Kyeh @PhysAssist I was actually taking L-lysine tablets for a while (recommended to me) but I never really noticed a difference.
@Kyeh @PooltoyWolf It won’t protect against biting your lips, tongue, or cheek, but held against the sore, they do help to heal it more quickly. IDK if swallowing it really helps, but what else are you going to do with it?
@PhysAssist @PooltoyWolf I’ve tried swallowing it without much effect, but not applying it like that. I’ll try it next time, thanks. I do take acyclovir but anything to speed up the healing is good!
@Kyeh @PhysAssist I tried acyclovir too! It’s like nothing ever works for my ailments lol.
@PhysAssist @PooltoyWolf Well, yours sound more like canker sores. I’m not sure acyclovir works for those.
@Kyeh @PhysAssist @PooltoyWolf I usually just swish some high alcohol mouthwash around the wound a couple of times after the bite and it seems to heal pretty quickly.
@macromeh @PhysAssist @PooltoyWolf
That’s worth a try! I wonder if sipping on a little cognac or something would work too?
@Kyeh @PooltoyWolf
It’s actually somewhat controversial whether aphthous ulcers [the medical term for canker sores] could be virally related- most likely herpetic.
@PhysAssist Oh, huh.
That would explain your getting them every time, @PooltoyWolf.
@Kyeh @PhysAssist Unless I was born with it, there is no way I have any form of herpes LOL.
@PooltoyWolf
I never said nothing bout you having anything…
@PhysAssist No offense taken, apologies if I somehow sounded upset LOL! I heard a derivative of the word ‘herpes’ up there somewhere
Bullet hole in the ear.
@tweezak with ketchup smeared for the blood effect.
@mycya4me What did they use to simulate the brain matter of the attendee? Pretty convincing death sequence.
@tweezak maybe zombie bait!
@tweezak
I think you meant tiny plexiglass shard-related abrasion.
Notably, no bandaid was meeded to play golf the next day, but a big [what we in medicine call a sympathy dressing] bandage was conventionally necessary.
Just sayin’
@PhysAssist @tweezak
RIGHT! MY first thought when I saw the size of that big pad of gauze!
Lol
He seems like the kind of guy who’d say HECK NO, I DON’T NEED A SISSY ASS BANDAID!
@Lynnerizer @tweezak Then at the RNC, quite a few maga-ites were also wearing them…
The day after trimming my nails, trying to open a drink can and the pop-top cutting underneath the nail!
Burn on the roof of my mouth from being too impatient to let the cheese cool on my pizza.
Paper cut!
Biting your tongue
@EdgarAllenPope yep, hurts like heck!
Hitting your funny bone.
@KNmeh7 there is NOTHING funny about hitting the “Funny” bone
@KNmeh7 @mycya4me Except that it’s your humerus [bone].
@KNmeh7 @PhysAssist There is Nothing Humorous about it! it just HURTS!
@KNmeh7 @mycya4me
The bone you hit is medically named the humerus- hence funny bone…
@KNmeh7 @PhysAssist I know that. Just pulling you virtual leg hehehe, Still it is NOT funny or humorous about making contact the wrong way with it!
@KNmeh7 @mycya4me True that!
@PooltoyWolf I love Robot Chicken!!
@yakkoTDI Same, the humor is just right up my alley.
@PooltoyWolf @yakkoTDI
Megadittoes
Stubbing the front left side of your big toe right where the nail ends while barefoot in the winter.
@isz
@isz or how about stubbing your little toe!
Mandolin slicer
@Jasonallers oooofahhhhh so many people i know have lost fingertips that way
@catthegreat @Jasonallers Those detached bits are called finger chips- I lost one from my left index finger.
@catthegreat @Jasonallers @PhysAssist Yikes, that’s awful!
I don’t imagine those “chips” are good in your salad, or anything else you’re preparing for dinner…
@catthegreat @Jasonallers @robson
At least we knew where mine went [into the sliced potatoes] and were able to inter it appropriately [in the trash], and since the potatoes were part of the dinner which was just for the 2 of us, we just rinsed them off and cooked them as usual.
When SWMBO unfortunately followed my poor example, hers apparently went flying and we never found it.
It was presumed to have been scarfed by one of our resident canines.
BTW, our mandolin has a ceramic blade, which is apparently still [more than] razor sharp and because it cut so cleanly, the little blood vessels don’t spasm closed, so bleeding is profuse when it cuts you [us].
Also the cut is so quick and slick that it takes a couple of seconds for the pain to begin, and then it’s nasty.
Also because the tissue [skin chip] is removed completely, when the bleeding was eventually stemmed, the wounds took for-freaking-ever to heal completely.
YMMV
@catthegreat @Jasonallers @PhysAssist @robson Between mandolin slicer (sounds so pleasant and musical) and table saw without guard it’s hard to say which is worse.
Would you like some lemon juice with that paper cut?
@blaineg Ok if that you is what you want, I will be happy help you!
Bug bites that you’ve scratched and as a result become a larger wound that rubs against your sandal.
@jitc Or blisters from the sandal that break open …
The pinch from your wife as you watch the blonde walk by. She sometimes draws blood before I notice.
@hchavers Yep, that is quite bad, especially if the Blonde is built better! hehehe. Then the Look that could kill!
@hchavers @mycya4me
GOOD FOR HER! With that kind of behavior it sounds like BOTH of you got EXACTLY WHAT YOU DESERVED! 
Lol
Stubbed toe.
@JepJep
Especially when it ends up pointing sideways- usually most often affecting the pinkie toe.
Anything to do with toes.
I was around 18 and jammed my thumb while adjusting the battery terminal on my car. After a week of my thumb killing me in an unbelievable amount of pain I finally went to the ER. I’d never been so embarrassed to admit that a little thumb joint was causing me unbearable excruciating pain. I mean it’s a thumb for goodness sakes…
What was just as unbelievable was that as soon as they wrapped it up with an Ace bandage the pain almost disappeared! That’s a life lesson that I never forgot! 
