Morning Meeting of the Secret-Not-So-Secret coffee club
11Hi! Me again 
We’ve had some prime roasting coffee weather, so I’ve been busy. And as of yesterday, there are four boxes in the wind.
The first box is off to @jkawaguchi, the newest member of the Secret-Not-So-Secret coffee club. But she can only drink decaf (stupid cardiologists) so I had to make a special order. I don’t keep decaf beans in my stash. Enjoy!
The second box is headed to @ironcheftoni. AND SHE DOESN’T EVEN DRINK COFFEE! So, Toni… congratulations on being the very first member of the Secret-Not-So-Secret tea and cookies club. My daughter made cookies with a bit of the wonderful vanilla you sent, and they will likely arrive in a bunch of pieces 
And I hope you enjoy the tea. I’ve got an Irish wife and that is her favorite. I didn’t make it, but it made me think about starting to grow it. I also had to hide it so my wife didn’t get to it before I could send it
The other two boxes are going to members of the Secret-Not-So-Secret coffee club who haven’t gotten coffee in a bit. If your mailbox smells like coffee, you know what’s in there
May the odds be ever in your favor.
~CapnJB
See ya!
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Thank you so much!!
KittyKat had cookies in the box she sent to me and they arrived perfectly intact. I cannot wait to try them.
I’m wondering what the climate requirements are for tea?
A funny story… one of my cruises to Belize, I toured a spice farm. The guide took a cocao pod, broke it open and let everyone try a raw bean. Fyi, they have a slimy membrane around them that is slightly lemony tasting. After eating the membrane, without thinking I put the bean in my pocket. It’s against the rules to bring agriculture items onboard the ship. I forgot about it and it made back home. (Breaking the law, breaking the law)
I still have the bean and regret not getting two. I could grow my own chocolate!!
@ironcheftoni First… I appreciate the Judas Priest reference
I can actually play that song 
But, fun fact… coffee beans are not beans… they are actually seeds. The coffee tree grows cherries, and the fruit is washed off leaving the seeds and that is dried (usually on big concrete slabs) and then roasted.
@capnjb @ironcheftoni You forgot the steps of eaten by animals and then pooped out before harvesting.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kopi_luwak
@capnjb @yakkoTDI maybe it’s another reason I dont drink coffee
@ironcheftoni @yakkoTDI Well enjoy your damn tea then
@capnjb @ironcheftoni
/showme Heavy Metal band playing a song called “Breaking The Law”
@capnjb @ironcheftoni @tohar1 I think the showme bot needs some coffee.
@capnjb @ironcheftoni @yakkoTDI It must be too busy banging its head to the great tune that it doesn’t have time to create the image. (PS: I also played that song live “way back when”…almost seems like a past life TBH!! Still love me some JP!)
@capnjb @ironcheftoni technically they’re not cherries but they are a berry. They’re similar but a different plant family. It’s the same family that Noni which is prolific in the pacific. I learned this when I was on Kauai last summer. I’d say “because who doesn’t love coffee?” But clearly @ironcheftoni is not a fan.
@ironcheftoni @sillyheathen I wasn’t looking for a masterclass, but thanks
Sorry… @sillyheathen, your name didn’t get picked 
Maybe next time 
@capnjb @ironcheftoni I’m a plant nerd. What can I say?
@ironcheftoni @sillyheathen Coffee fruit are actually drupes
runs off before the avocados become weaponized 
edit - and avocados ARE berries
runs again
@capnjb @ironcheftoni @sillyheathen
You definitely look like it by the pictures you’ve shown
It looks like one will arrive today and the rest, tomorrow
Pretty quick for UPS 
@capnjb Oh, it actually looks like two drop today
Now that you all won’t stfu about your damned coffee …
I need coffee you fuckers!
But don’t send me any. I’m on the road too much.
@f00l if you’re ever in the Portland area I’ll make you a coffee.
@f00l Send me a whisper with your address and I’ll send you some fresh stuff. I just need to know if you have a grinder… if not I’ll grind it on the day I ship it. Welcome to the Secret-Not-So-Secret coffee club
Just let me know when it would be a good time for the stars to align and I will land some on your door step.
There are only two rules…
Rule #1 I don’t like going to the post office so you get it when you get it.
And Rule #7: Reciprocity is frowned upon
I’ll work on the timing
edit - I just got 10 more pounds of Kenyan AA and it’s awesome… but I need to send it somewhere!
@capnjb
I’m really on the road too much to receive and use things right now.
I was just in the mood to be grumpy about coffee at that moment.
Perhaps someday I can get a rain check when my life is a bit more predictable.
Tyvm
@f00l Just say the word when you are ready to join the club
@capnjb
You are a miracle of generosity.
Thx!
@f00l The three traits that define me are… I’m a giver, I’m a provider, and I am a protector. If my family has everything they need, I will happily share everything else. I don’t get my dopamine from likes or comments… I get it from making a stranger smile. That’s just how I was built. No apologies
You get what you get 
Let me know when you need some coffee 
Oh, and for the record gentlemen, if you are curious if your girl is Irish, just look at her favorite mug.
Her mom was born and raised in Dublin. Her father is English… grew up in Yorkshire. She is English most of the time… but when she is mad at me it’s all Irish… all the time 
And it’s the only time her accent comes out 
And this is my wife’s favorite coffee mug
Thank you Capnjb! Got a great smelling package today!
I hope you have a nice cup of coffee in the morning. That got there faster than expected
When you told me your dad’s nickname for you was Jujubee, I had to find something for the empty space in the box 
Use those dates for sticky toffee pudding. I can send you a recipe 
Enjoy the coffee and welcome to the dysfunctional coffee club 
Escoose me… how does one gain entry to this mystical club celebrating the life-giving bean?
@Pony Send me a whisper with where to send it and if you have a coffee grinder or not. Then be patient. Rule #1 is you’ll get it when you get it
Heck, our founding member @star2236 waited nearly two years to get hers
Maryland has like 15 seasons and we just left our first false Spring and are back into cold weather. It was 80 degrees on Wednesday and snowed on Thursday.
Weather really affects when I can roast
@capnjb Whisper sent. Thanks! We had 70s and then snow last week too. So crazy.
@capnjb @Pony today wasn’t so bad it was probably about 87. Yesterday it was a very hot 95 plus. I don’t know why it was so much hotter at 95 than 87 but it f****** was. I’m still feeling being overheated from yesterday.
@Capnjb, box arrived today. In the same box I sent yours in and @italianscallion sent to me.
cookies arrived in great shape and very tasty. I think this box will be sent to another mehitzen to keep it in circulation. And I am proud to be the charter member of the not so secret tea club 
Thank you again!
@ironcheftoni I’m happy the cookies didn’t arrive in crumbles
We should probably check the mileage on that box 
From Peets to @ItalianScallion to you to me and back to you… LOL Let me go do some math. This box needs another journey. Don’t recycle it 
Enjoy the tea and cookies, only member of the Secret-Not-So-Secret tea and cookies club 
@ironcheftoni Ok… this is a rough estimate, but it looks like it’s traveled about 6,500 miles so far. Let’s get it to at least 10,000 Meh miles!!!
Never recycle THE BOX!!! PEET’S for life!
@capnjb @ItalianScallion absolutely! The mehitzenhood of the traveling box!
My coworker bestie and I have birthdays a few weeks apart. We have been exchanging the same gift bag for about 8 years.
@ironcheftoni @ItalianScallion Awesomesauce!
@capnjb @ironcheftoni @ItalianScallion My sister and I used the same box to send each other Christmas and birthday stuff for years- it was originally a set of dishes that I sent her, and she filled it with stuff and sent it back, and it became tradition to ship it back and forth. It finally wore out, though.
@ironcheftoni @ItalianScallion @Pony DUCT TAPE TO THE RESCUE!!!
@capnjb @ironcheftoni @ItalianScallion @Pony
We need a secret, not so secret baking club! That’s one club I can definitely get down with. one arm or no arm, Id definitely put all my strength and time into that. Besides planning on starting the hometown exchange this summer I think we should definitely start a secret not so secret baking club, doesn’t have to be all about cookies. just stuff you can bake and transport to other people in the Meh club that will stay fresh and make it through shipping (the 2-3 day package size/vhs box is a must though)
@capnjb @ItalianScallion @Pony @Star2236 great idea but us south of the Mason Dixon will need to send in the fall and winter months if chocolate is involved.
@ironcheftoni @ItalianScallion @Pony @Star2236 That’s a great idea! But let’s be lazy about it
@capnjb @ironcheftoni @ItalianScallion @Pony @Star2236 it’s already too hot to ship chocolate here. I got cheese shipped and it was hot enough that the white ice in the Box wasn’t cold anymore. Welcome to Hell
@capnjb @ironcheftoni @ItalianScallion @Pony @Star2236 Check out the padded flat rate size too.You might need to order one from usps.com but it is currently 30 cents more than the small flat rate box but has more space. You can put a box or sealed container inside if you want. Pirateship or Shippo will give you a discount on the postage.
I have extra padded envelopes I can ship to you for free if anyone wants or needs some.
@ironcheftoni @ItalianScallion @Pony @Star2236 Star, you are first on the list
I just need some asiago cheese 
@capnjb @ItalianScallion @Pony @speediedelivery @Star2236 yes you can order all thr priority mail supplies from the post office for free. They have sizes on the site that are not always at the post office.
@capnjb Well, I woke up to 31 degrees in North texas today so I made a cuppa as they would say across the pond.
Very yummy but don’t tell your Missus that I defiled it with monk fruit and stevia sweetener and (gasp!) a squeeze of lemon. Thank you again! Pardon the dusty desk, spring cleaning will be happening soon. 
@ironcheftoni My wife drinks her tea with milk and honey. My daughter drinks hers with half & half and sugar (occasionally with some good vanilla
) I drink mine black with a squeeze of fresh lemon juice. It’s tea. Enjoy it the way you like it. No one is judging. 
There are no rules. Well… except rule #1 and rule #7 
I see no crimes committed here 
@ironcheftoni
I suffer from dust blindness
@capnjb @ironcheftoni
"A home should be clean enough to be healthy, messy enough to be happy*
Okay, it looks like everything has landed
@chienfou and @kyeh you should have good smelling mailboxes and/or doorsteps 
A bonus box is about to head out to @pony as soon as I can find one to put her beans in. 
This concludes the meeting 
I’ll be back at it soon enough 
@capnjb
Thanks… OOT til mid week so I’ll report after then.
@chienfou No worries… I hadn’t sent any in a bit
I had beans and box it’s probably lonely on your stoop 
I can send more later if it starts to go stale 
Enjoy your trip my friend 
@capnjb
Finally got home and found your lovely gift. Look forward to grinding a cup of joe tomorrow. Thanks again capn!
PS thanks for the challenge coin, too!
@capnjb
This pretty well sums up how I feel after having my first cup of this current batch of coffee! Thanks again…
My box of goodness arrived today! I brewed a pot of delicious coffee right away, my husband and I both love it. So good! Also got some lovely mustard and hot honey that hubby will enjoy, and my very own pony! One of my cats was very intrigued by the “oh, this is yummy” noises I was making, but I had to disappoint her by not sharing. Thanks so much, @capnjb!
@Pony Enjoy it and welcome to the Secret-Not-So-Secret coffee club
@capnjb Thank you verra much!
@capnjb @Pony
Mug looks familiar…
@chienfou @Pony Do you have them custom made or do you have some sort of printer that can do that? I love mine
@capnjb
Custom made. I created a template I can use and simply change the “dead goat’s” name and service date.
@chienfou Well, thank you for my one of one mug
@capnjb
/giphy hat tip
@capnjb @Pony Looks a really nice large-sized mug too… or is that just the photo angle?
@OnionSoup It is a nice big mug. Probably about 11 ounces I think? I’m too lazy to go check right now. lol
@chienfou It’s my favorite! Thanks again!
@Pony
15oz if I remember the specs correctly…
Mine gets heavy use in my daily rotation…