Mercatalyst is now Stores.com
14
There’s no such thing as too obvious. Apparently.
You know how we’re part of a company that also runs stores like MorningSave and SideDeal? That company will now go by the daringly imaginative name Stores.com.
The product of thousands of hours of focus groups, the bold new identity consolidates our strategic positioning as a company that runs stores. Also, it’s easy to spell.
We haven’t changed ownership or our business model or anything else. Just the name and logo. Here and there you might see “Stores.com” where you would’ve seen “Mercatalyst”.
Otherwise, same ridiculous deals, same even more ridiculous jokes, and of course, same opinionated community as always.
PS. We’re working on some other stuff that’s even bolder. Watch this space. (Well, not this space, specifically. Just, like, the Meh universe in general.)
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Growing up in the 80s, I really enjoyed the science fiction publisher Tor Books. Eating S’mores is a fun childhood memory as well. I wondered what if we actually brought the two together for like a smart but fun way to shop. Boom.
@snapster
Now that you own “stores.com”
…
Pls … just for fun… purchase
“Obvious.com”
And
“Octopus.com
And
“BreakfastOctopus.com”.
@snapster
Add “bores.com”.
This one for a database of The Sayings Of Chairman Musk”.
Explaining where I work just got a whole lot simpler.
@Thumperchick It’s really easy. You just say, “I work at Stores.com which used to be this company called Mercatalyst when we changed our name from A Mediocre Corporation because we got sick of explaining the joke about how we used the be the team from Woot (which started as Synapse Micro) but we sold to Amazon in 2010 and then left and launched a store that was kinda the opposite of what Woot became in spirit and name called Meh that we built on this new e-commerce platform named Checkout.org.”
I don’t see what’s so difficult about that. You get an entire 30-seconds in an elevator pitch.
@shawn We should go on an eras tour.
@shawn @snapster
/giphy headspin
How in hell was a name like stores.com not already taken?
@rpstrong They probably had to pay several million dollars for that domain. I’m proud of them
@rpstrong welcome, fellow Meh shopper. There exists another class of entity who can make what was taken available to them. They can see us, but we have to take their existence on faith. I believe!
@sleuth Several million may have been the comparison price at Amazon, but . . .
@rpstrong ohhh, it wasn’t…used to be owned by Hammacher Schlemmer and Mercatalyst acquired the brand name late last year (November 2025) and stores.com, apparently, must’ve been part of said deal. Hammacher Schlemmer had owned it for decades prior.
@PHRoG @rpstrong Good catch! Yeah, the DNS records show stores.com being updated around then too. I wonder how Mercatalyst buying their assets came to be
@PHRoG @rpstrong HAH! I knew all those “going out of business” fake sales were indeed, fake.
@darkstar80 @rpstrong they only acquired the brand…physical assets such as inventory, property, etc. were not part of it. Soo, technically, they did.
@rpstrong @sleuth yup, domain was unlocked for xfer in Jan.
@PHRoG @rpstrong
Ok, but the new Hammer Slammer is selling pretty much the same stuff as before. So maybe they are using many of the same suppliers as the original. Only stores.com knows, and they ain’t tellin’.
I, for one, have very strong feelings about this change.
@J5892 are you going to tell us what they are?
@Thumperchick Very strong feelings indeed.
I love the juxtaposition of Hammacher Schlemmer right above meh
So I’m not jumping between parallel universes, got it.
Vacations? Shores.com
Sleep products? Snores.com
Contaminated products? Spores.com
The possibilities are endless.
@oppodude With additions like smores.com?
@rpstrong why not. Then you can go to the skin care site pores.com
@oppodude @rpstrong
/giphy “oars.com”
@f00l @oppodude Whatever rows your boat.
@f00l @oppodude @rpstrong Oh, then they could buy whor… or maybe not that one.
@oppodude
Golf-related sporting goods from fores.com
Nuclear reactors from cores.com
Amazon first-read rejects from bores.com
Herpes meds from sores.com
Sheet music from scores.com
Torrent software from tors.com
endless…
@oppodude @phendrick
Bores.com already has a very worthy content assignment.
See the earlier subtopic tangent:
https://meh.com/forum/topics/mercatalyst-is-now-storescom#69bb0c571ccef416453c6803
@f00l @oppodude @tobyspill You don’t buy that one; you rent.
@oppodude @phendrick to continue your list
Low life womans’s stuff nobody wants whores.com
Cat food roars.com
You need to buy it now yours.com
I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be the type to just buy the .com instead of settle for the .biz… But I shop at Meh, so you already know I’m gonna get the .biz.
In unrelated news you can all see my new website at stores.biz
Oh shit, wait… I’m wrong in my assumptions. Hammacher Schlemmer is in on this!
Please tell me Jeff Bezos didn’t buy them and then buy you! I hope it’s wrong and HS is Snapster’s breakfast octopus burrito.
@djslack
“The content of the page cannot be displayed”
Becuase you are only selling pipe dreams of the non-smoking meaning of pipes?
@djslack @Kidsandliz These are not pipes.
@rpstrong
ISWYDT!
Old News … According to the Press Release on mercatalyst.com this happened 2 months ago tomorrow!
https://stores.com/pages/press-stores-com-emerges-as-multi-brand-e-commerce-platform
So, when’s the next pasta drop? Since all you Stores.com people are probably watching this thread?
I really enjoyed dropping 50+ pounds of pasta on coworkers porches during the pandemic.
I know the answer is probably never, but I gotta ask. Maybe do a pasta sale at least?
I find it stupidly amusing. I thought mercatalyst was a dumb name. Personally I liked mediocre because it was descriptive. Stores is not.
@Cerridwyn Exactly!! Stores.com is totally
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@Cerridwyn I both agree with this and yet find it technically incorrect.
@Cerridwyn you can still use mediocre.com at least
My work filters classify stores.com as malware. Was it previously a shady as hell site? Or was boner-garage.biz taken, so you sought out stores.com?
Stores.com… the most meh URL for a retail company
I guess it was inevitable
I just got my Mercatalyst tattoo!
@medz
So…
meh.
@Nate311 That pretty much sums it up, yeah.
(Okay, maybe it’s not really meh yet, but we’re not expecting amazing greatness here.)
Go back to Mediocre next lol
Maybe they can buck the trend of “every digital commerce site that thinks they are genius by branding as the most generic thing fails spectacularly”.
/image “octopus emoji”
stores.com. Hmm. Why not stork
com. Or stupidshit.com. Or maybe icouldntthinkofanythingbetter.com
I guess the last one wouldn’t fit on a belt buckle
/showme “octopus emoji eating e-commerce”
@f00l Here’s the image you requested for ““octopus emoji eating e-commerce””
/showme a guy spitting out a gob of phlegm as he mutters the words Hammacher Schlemmer in anguish.
@MrGoodGuy Here’s the image you requested for “a guy spitting out a gob of phlegm as he mutters the words Hammacher Schlemmer in anguish.”
@mediocrebot Ooooh … disgusting but perfect!!
This is a mediocre change. Congratulations
@sohmageek
I feel more meh about it
/showme “broken lab flask”
@f00l Here’s the image you requested for ““broken lab flask””
@f00l @mediocrebot I would have broken it as well; the markings clearly start too high off the bottom…
Whoever came up with name deserves a raise and a year of paid vacation to the Everest
@Eugene0567 From what I’ve heard, Everest is a giant pile of literal shit because of all the decades of climber-tourists who have failed to pack theirs out.
@Eugene0567 @werehatrack The government started clean-up efforts in 2018, but it will take years to finish. From a 2024 NPR article:
Despite the fact that I own a Hammacher Schlemmer sweater from back in the day, this is a clear sign that Matt and the gang are starting to take themselves too seriously. I hear that pets.com may also be coming available.
This is like the ultimate generic e-commerce name. Soon it will engulf every online store, including that A–Z thing. Because they’re all stores. I mean, it would be false advertising if it didn’t cover every store on the internet, right?
“Stores.com! Not including all the other stores that aren’t us.”
Stores?
…meh…
How exciting, just can’t wait to see what you guys have in store(s. com)!
Please buy The Purple Store.
@Barney I love that store
@heartny Yep, me too
@Barney
Name change again?
I’m not updating my phonebook. You’ll have another new name before long.
Should Hammacher Schlemmer change their name to Hammehcher Schlemmeh? Or something like that.
Somebody probably went to business school for four years to earn a BA in marketing just to come up with this stroke of genius. Oh well, even the person who finishes last in their class still gets a diploma.
@bhhales And what do they call the person who finishes last in medical school? “Doctor.”
I’m looking forward to the company eventually buying shitassdeals.com like what used to exist back in the day.
Okay, I officially wish I could work for stores dot com. But that’s never gonna fly. I’m too old to be useful, and too much of a jerk to be trusted.
And I’m damn sure they don’t need anybody with my qualifications (or lack thereof).
@werehatrack
I feel like these are totally workable qualifications…
@Thumperchick @werehatrack
I have every bit as high a level of Zero Qualitications For Any Known Task as @werehatrack does!
Going to sell sub-domains like wine.stores.com, morning.stores.com, meh.stores.com…
Kinda takes the zip out of mercatalyst, but hey, focus groups can’t be all wrong.
@pakopako But not shirt.
I like the logo. That’s good enough for me.
@cfg83 feels like it’s borrowed from Sleepy’s
@pakopako Or safeway. Or maybe it’s a Get Smart KAOS thing … Stores.com is actually … SINISTER.com!!! …
Sinister
Inchoate
Nasty
Industrial
Slippery
Totally
Evil
Reptilians
Stores being the shorthand for …
Sinister
Totally
Overindulgent
Reptilian
Evil
Stores
@cfg83 @pakopako I really like this idea of figuring out what the acronym would stand for…
Something
Totally
Original
Really
Elementary
Stuff
@pakopako @Thumperchick Yes, there are nearly infinite possibilities …
Silly
Tacky
Odd
Retail
Expendable
Stuff
/showme store named “STORES” with Silly Tacky Odd Retail Expendable Stuff.
@cfg83 Here’s the image you requested for “store named STORES with Silly Tacky Odd Retail Expendable Stuff.”
@mediocrebot I think I’ve been to this STORES in downtown Los Angeles.
@aetris I had to turn my head to the left, old school emoji-style, to see the Meh in the logo-mark, but I see what you did there!
@Thumperchick Someone owes you a neck massage!
@aetris @Thumperchick Reminds me of the old Moofi.com days.
Mercatalyst still lets me see my order history; Stores still has no dashboard
@pakopako
TIL… thanks.
@chienfou
A-OK - https://mercatalyst.com/orders
No-Go - https://mercatalyst.com/partners
No-Go - https://stores.com/dashboard
404 - https://stores.com/orders
Will my VMP get me anything on your new venture…?
@chienfou Yes enquiring minds want to know.
@Kidsandliz
/giphy crickets