Mediocre Laboratories Tech Job Bounty: $1000
18We need Developers, Testers, and DevOps so badly that we’re offering a cool grand in American dollars as a referral bonus for any that we hire.
Check out our job openings over at https://mediocre.com/jobs
Send us your smart friends, or send us yourself and take the $1000 as a hiring bonus. If you’re the first contact for someone we hire and you’re not a professional recruiter, you get money. Potential peeps have to live in the Dallas area and not be a raging prick unless it’s in a way that’s useful to us. No recruiters; if that person doesn’t recognize your name, we’ll assume you’re a headhunting hustler and you will get nothing.
Email referrals@mediocre.com to recommend someone. Don’t embarrass yourself or your friends by posting referrals in this forum topic.
- 32 comments, 35 replies
- Comment
@snapster I'm ashamed to admit it took me 15 seconds to figure out the reference
@snapster
@Headly bravo! bring us the DevOps and we will fund your Vette!
@snapster
Because only the extrodinary can create the truly mediocre.
Want a chef?
@AnnaB Want? Yes. Need? No.
@harrison If you ever get all Google-y, you know who to call...
@harrison @AnnaB Want? Yes. Need? Yes. Can haz? No.
Or a physician assistant, somewhat shopworn?
@smoo99 I'm one too also pretty shopworn, err experienced and "mature", and I think that we (PA's) would be a great addition to the Meh/Mediocre Labs crew, but then I am "slightly" biased. :-)
Just wondering why in this day and age testers have to be local to HQ? Can't that be done from anywhere?
@readnj They have a lot of butt stations and need more people to use them.
@Thumperchick aka speaker dock chairs
@mehjohnson No, butt stations.
People in Texas? That aren't pricks? Incoming people who will relocate for monies
I've read that a chef and an physician's assistant is up for grabs.. How 'bout an Indian chief?
@unkabob they all dig @Matthew's beat
Still waiting for that Upstate NY satellite office that you haven't thought of adding until now...
@BillLehecka That lets Upstaters telecommute from home, right?
@Thumperchick @BillLehecka Also upstate, we should build an office and should be Meh's northern operations center!
@Thumperchick In for one.
@BillLehecka Wieghing here for both Upstate NY and Physician Assistant all-in-one package dealio!!
@BillLehecka I'm in for mid Hudson Valley, NY.
I would apply but I haven't used my Computer Technology degree in years and I am too comfortable in my state. Have you guys posted this in linkedin?
@gommiebears would that be the state of complacency?
in dallas and not pricks. good luck with that.
Anyone in Dallas that needs a good first reference hit me up, I'll sell you good.
I can fix your guys' cars! Probably provide some tech support also.. I'm Microsoft certified (W2K.. perfect for MEH) and I know how to keep 'dem cupholders from sliding back into the computer!
Also my wife's work has been BUGGING her to transfer to Plano... so if/when that happens I'll for sure hit you guys up for a job!
@mOONmOON My last Cert. was Windows NT 4.0 and I live in Florida. Will I do?
I am not an IT person and even not a American citizen, but if you need an illlegal alien working for you sewing bad smelling PVC toys, writing some nonsense write ups or acting like Mr. Wrench against loan sharks – I'll be there to claim $1000.
Is unpaid intern for the summer on there? I just want to hang out there during the summer and see how things work.
as someone who used to be a recruiter, I must say, I hate recruiters
@somf69 Hate is a little strong for me, but as someone who used to date a recruiter, I'm not too fond of them either
@somf69 I've spoken with a few good recruiters. And I think a couple hundred awful ones
A summer student internship would be a nice option to see.... Paid or unpaid!
@whitneysit @kyle170 Interested in an internship?
We had two great development team interns this past summer and we'll likely do it again. Trying to think of all of the different projects they worked on, but I for sure remember they built the map on the homepage of meh.com.
I know he's busy with school now, but maybe @mehtaab is around to talk about it.
@shawn I think I'm too inexperienced. I'm still in high school and have not taken a coding class.
@shawn fucking plebs
Instead of a $1000 bounty, you should pay the birddog in Built Sleeves.
Photographer and successful marketing director for the last 3 years at several venues in New Orleans. I'm proficient in Photoshop and Lightroom. I also have a background in IT. I can work remotely. Mardi Gras is right around the corner. You're welcome to come visit. I work for the largest nightclubs in the city. I'm obviously a key employee.
@ryantheriot I claim the referral of you.
@cengland0 worked at radio shack in 1990.. hit him up.
https://mediocre.secure.force.com/?page=JobListPage&JobSite=default&p=Candidate&sessionId=
confused... none of them say "work from home." Wtf is this... 2003 ?
Gee thanks @unixrab. I could probably do a couple of those jobs but I doubt meh would be willing to pay me enough to transfer and leave the company I'm currently with.
However, meh, @unixrab is probably a certified preacher by now and he might be able to bless the crap you sell before it leaves the warehouse.
1:2 and @unixrab saith unto @cengland0, Lo, I still work for the same company that both thou and I didst work at together lo these many years ago. 1:3 And though meh.com dost sell crap, as thou rightly observeth, I knowest that, yea, even they couldst be blessed, though their crap is meh and their quality is low.
@unixrab I actually got lucky because they sold division to another company through trivestiture and I worked for the buying company for several years until I found a competing company that gave me an offer I couldn't refuse. If I stayed with the former company that we both worked at, I would be in a failing business with a CEO that doesn't know what direction to take the company.
@cengland0 we've traveled similar paths... ... fair to say both too Lazy, impatient and hubristic for new jobs ;-)
I'll apply if I can work from Arlington. If I have to drive to Dallas, I'm out.
@phatmass YES!! location no longer matters... ! Time for every employer to figure this out! I'll pay for my own highspeed internet, table chair ... gimmee your secured laptop...and lessgo
@unixrab It would be difficult to manage the VPN server when you are away from the office.
@cengland0 rookie
@cengland0 You'd have to be a moron to fuck up managing a VPN/consider such a difficulty..
@er1c Not entirely- we switched from a Cisco VPN device to a Sonicwall device with VPN builtin. Before we needed a consultant to make changes to the Cisco, now we can easily manage the Sonicwall ourselves.
@dashcloud You don't reboot or reinstall new firmware or any advanced maintenance remotely do you? Remotely meaning from home.
@cengland0 On the servers, I haven't done remote firmware installs (iLo not setup/not available), but if that was available, I would do that. Otherwise, generally not reboots, but other maintenance including tinkering with Exchange I've done remotely.
Don't hire me unless you want your poll charts recreating using d3 and webgl because the beauty of it all would be too great to handle
Any availability for a major in Robotic and Automation Engineering Technology to join in the mediocrity?
I'm returning to school for a 2nd bachelor's degree to solidify my IT background experience and grab much needed certs.
And for living in Minnesota, I would love nothing more than to escape this god-forsaken, frozen wasteland of Scandinavians and move to Texas.
But I am quite content with being a consumer of Meh service than to rise to the challenge of mediocrity.
Forwarded the jobs posting to my brother who's in Dallas, but then I saw the diss to Windows Phone in the Mobile job post............ :P can't let him work for y'all now! :P
@deenaz Are you kidding? He can be the mole, the inside guy, the disruptor. He can write a Windows Phone app so awesome that it brings in the next 170,000 users. Set him to the task and MAKE THEM EAT THEIR WORDS!
Instead of $1000, how about a guaranteed fukubukuro for life!!!!
I've been in software development for 9 years now, but I'm on the East Coast. I don't think I could ever get used to your time zone. FML
I tried. I shared the ad with a programmer friend of mine who lives in Austin. He said he didn't think you guys would pay him enough to live in Dallas.
Would you hire a remote engineer?
Anyone that might remotely fit in has most likely already infiltrated. You probably don't realize they've been there for a month or more... they just seem so familiar and weird all at once. Just like all of you....
Then one day you start getting a slight nagging feeling.
You just can't shake it... so you ask some others..."who is that wookie over there?" They shrug "don't know, we figured you knew...but hey? who cares? does amazing work, fits right in too".
I watched videos of you guys testing remote control helicopters... thinking..Oh no! do I surrender my visa #??.....hmmm... never do, but you were too funny testing those things to be crooks...however, then i thought perhaps the helicopters are funky or defective as I witnessed them drop from a rooftop... bought two even though i thought at first...scam! but they arrived and everybody, i mean everybody wanted them! ha! They went to an 8 and 12 year old... probably wasted on them!
if i had known you'd really deliverer i would have bought several more. Truly a blast trying to make them fly...
I am trying to find a birthday present for my son-in-law.. the only thing i have come up with is a slingshot monkey that can go 50feet up into the air...maybe you guys sell it??... the 12 year old agreed...my daughter laughing thru text thought i was joking. maybe an itty bitty flashlight called the fairy... really cool. I love gadgets.
I thought how cool to have a job buzzing and testing toys...pushing the limits of capability just to see if it could be done... a large pig...ha!
I like to think you guys have crazy fun all they time, but then I realize its impossible as I worked forever designing financial and transportation systems and leading projects from concept thru implementation. assembler. now i just disassemble!
The most brilliant and crazy guy I know isn't in Dallas, but Canada... too bad you don't consider telecommute for some of your job areas, as he can fly! He is the most amazing developer I have ever had the honor to know. Quick silver mind. However, he is also really expensive. You pay for what you get, yes?
I like to imagine you have really already been infiltrated. Anything is possible! May the force be with you and all your monsters stay under the bed.