May The Goat Be With You (May 2022 Scapegoat Blame Thread)
18Welcome to the 5th month of 2022, or as I like to call it, May! With a new month comes a new goat, which is unfortunate because @phendrick really didn’t get enough blame in our opinion, but took what was there like a pro. There’s always next time. (Note: There will be no next time, it just sounded like a nice thing to say.)
Handling the scapegoat duties for May will be @yakkoTDI. Always the first person to say the first thing that comes to mind. I don’t know the first thing about 'em, other than being a truly reliable resource for first posts.
I’ve included this excellent photo of a friend’s goat without permission to post it. It’s ok though, if it gets swapped out later you can blame @yakkoTDI for that too.
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Welcome @yakkoTDI.
Good, I now get to blame @yakkoTDI for April being over before I got to enjoy much of my goathood, due to the general amplitude of apathy among the mehtizenry (guess the blooming flowers and taming of the CV had much to do with that).
(Or is today just April 31, as the b&m MS post implied?}
Now that I’ve come to the end of my reins (rains? reigns? all of the above?), I might have to incur some blame by doing something obnoxious as an ex-goat. [Stay tuned]
@phendrick Well, former goat, you got some blames towards the end of your tenure that you never responded to, so you can’t really complain…
@Kyeh Well, can I accept blame belatedly? If not, I blame the current goat for that. I also blame my internet provider. I had some internet issues for a day or two; just would get back on then lose it again. I hadn’t even realized I had missed anything, until I saw your post.
@phendrick Well, since our new goat seems to be awol, I guess last month’s blames and unblames still go to you?
That pictured goat does look like it is planning something significant for the month, just biding its time.
@phendrick The goat abides, man.
That pictured goat looks adorable!
But yes, kind of a sinister expression on its little face.
Blame! Dismay! Dismay! The First of May! Mosquito Season begins today!
@werehatrack Get yourself some pet chameleons.
/youtube 9Z6D-j5alJc
@werehatrack @yakkoTDI Not to mention, black fly season! They’re the unofficial state bird around here in New Hampsha. Please allow me to pile on… Blame!
Unblame. (for @werehatrack)
@mike808 Meow the fourth be with you.
Blame.
BLAME
Blame. I got an email that Cold Stone Creamery (of which there is none around here) has peeps ice cream. In my opinion that would be beyond gross. I know some people on here like peeps although I can’t remember whom to tag so I guess those people would call it an unblame.
Want to hear the saga of the bike lane?
There is a street through a neighborhood near me that a lot of people use as a cut through. It’s also one of the few roads with a nice sidewalk separated by a grass strip. Anyway, someone decided it needed to be more pedestrian friendly. I’m thinking it’s someone that lives there with political clout but who knows.
So they placed combination bike/walking lanes on both sides and dropped the speed limit. Fine, whatever, hope the guys in spandex don’t run over any kids.
Apparently people drove too fast. So they added speed humps. I like speed humps, just like the bumper cars at the amusement park. Apparently some people don’t, because cars started swerving into the bike/pedestrian lanes to avoid them. Oopsie.
So to solve this problem they installed poles right in the middle of the bike lanes. Hope those guys in spandex didn’t want kids.
I can’t wait to see what happens next.
@sammydog01 We call them speed bumps.
@Barney These ones are flat on top. I think the sign said humps? Tables? Anyway they give you a nice fun bounce when you drive over.
@sammydog01 I bet your car really likes them.
@Barney I’m passive aggressive enough to drive through there every chance I get. The new suspension will be worth it.
@Barney @sammydog01
Fire departments hate them because they fuck up the emergency response vehicles trying to save someone’s life or stop a house from burning down.
Sounds like a “revenue extraction zone” speed trap designed to slap fines on drivers (usually not from that jurisdiction) as a bullshit way to pay for government while pretending that it is free because they’ve stripped it for parts and left the burned out husk up on cinder blocks.
@sammydog01 They’re doing asinine stuff like that all over our town too! I guess they need to find a way to spend tax money, even though they can’t seem to hire enough cops to bust all the thieves stealing bikes and catalytic converters.
@Kyeh @sammydog01 Hard to hire new cops when you’ve spent all your taxpayer money on defending shitty roided up cops (and management was so incompetent they had no clue there were any “bad apples” in the ranks, wink, wink) and settling all those civil lawsuits.
@mike808 @sammydog01 The cops around her were a reasonably civil bunch for the most part but they seem to have lost a lot of staff throughout the city over the pandemic.
@Barney @mike808 If they were trying to set up a speed trap they wouldn’t have made it physically impossible to speed.
@Kyeh We have new bike lanes in other places too- they claim it’s to cut down on pedestrian fatalities. Maybe it will. I suspect we’ll see an increase in accidents between fast bikes and slower bike and pedestrian traffic.
This short stretch of road seems to be about someone on a massive power trip who will do anything to bend the drivers to their will including making the lane unusable for bikes and pedestrians. There’s not enough room to comfortably bike or push a stroller around the new poles so they’ll have to veer into traffic. Which I find ironic.
@Kyeh @sammydog01 I wonder if they have reduced the effective lane width to below the ADA threshold for wheelchairs…
@Kyeh @werehatrack
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@sammydog01 Just an aside, the local bike advocacy group’s old spokescritter used to sometimes refer to the lycra-guy crowd as MAMIS; Middle-Aged Men In Spandex. The bike group has a different spokescritter now. And while you still see examples of that stereotype out on the bike paths, we also get a lot more people in just ordinary attire than we used to. And somewhere along the way, the city began to get the message that just making the traffic lanes too narrow for a city bus, and painting a stripe parallel to the gutter to partition off a “bike lane”, wasn’t going to convince anyone that this was a safe place to ride. But that’s mostly what we’ve still got for the moment. There are exceptions, but not enough of them … yet.
@Barney @sammydog01 in my experience speed bumps are literally bumps. They are narrow/rounded and you can take them fast like railroad tracks sort of. Usually no sign. Speeds humps are that wider one that you can’t and way worse/will bottom your car out.
Obligatory joke about speed hump signs on my old college campus.
@Barney @sammydog01 @unksol
@Barney @mike808 @sammydog01 while I’m aware that song existed via a line or two… I’d never actually listened to it.
I suppose there is a parallel along destroying something valuable for no gain?
@Barney @sammydog01 @unksol Speed humps have gone uptown and copped a 'tude; they even have Official Specifications now, and installing them is no longer a simple matter of dumping a pile of hot asphalt mix on the street and pounding it into shape and place with some shovels. Meanwhile, the local crotch-rocket jocks have discovered that the humps are FUN to use as launch ramps if you know how to do it, with the added bennie that when a n00b tries, he’s generally going to end up with some nasty road rash. (And this is despite the fact that the new-style humps have gaps in them which a bike can shoot right through.) The neighborhood self-righteous control freaks persuaded the city to get them installed on my street, and now they’re wringing their hands over the fact that they’ve merely made the traffic issues on this street worse for themselves. And the city will not even listen to a request to remove them for twenty years after they’re installed - which is also about as long as the time between resurfacings of the street.
@Barney @unksol @werehatrack When I looked up speed humps vs bumps (after someone implied my state is stupid) the article said speed humps were milder and designed to be driven over in the low 20s. These ones are definitely fine (and kind of fun) at 25 which is the speed limit there.
As for speed bumps the school my kids went to decided to install speed bumps to slow down traffic at a crossing. I would be shocked if an engineer of any kind was consulted because they put in a triple speed bump. Driving over at the posted speed limit of 5 mph is a kidney jarring experience. Rolling over is extremely unpleasant. My daughter discovered a sweet spot of 17 and gunned it across. Good planning guys.
@Barney @sammydog01 @unksol I find that us old farts with old fart vehicles that do not have super low profile slot car tires can often transit those old style bumps at full speed and barely notice them. It’s certainly no worse than driving across I-10 from the Texas state line to Lake Charles used to be, before they fixed all the places where the slabs of old concrete had shifted into stair steps.
Blame - our goat @yakkoTDI is totally ignoring us. Off riding his bike, probably. But he should be concerned about this bike lane debacle @sammydog01 has alerted him to!
@Kyeh @yakkoTDI where are you?!?!?
/giphy where are you
Well, I’ve been quiet for a while. Been crazy busy over here for a few months - good and bad. Hitting @yakkoTDI for at least the most recent issues
Blame, I caught a stomach virus this week that had me down and out for three days with nausea, cold chills, migraines and aches. Great googlie mooglie, that was three days I do not want to relive anytime soon!!
Blame, said goodbye to one of my favorite uncles recently. Lost him to kidney failure and bone cancer. Fuck cancer! He lived out of town on the west coast so I was only able to see him for a few days.
Unblame, I was able to put together his memorial presentation, and it was beautiful. Thanks to a very sweet and appreciated friend for her help in the process.
Unblame, the botox injections seem to be working and last month I had a total of THREE episodes. I literally hugged my dr last time I saw him I was so happy!!
Blame, all of the above plus a bit more has kept me away from the forum and all you awesome people. Hope everyine is doing ok and I’m back!!
POPSOCKETS! SPA KITS! POLLY POCKETS! AWESOME!
@tinamarie1974 Blame and unblame?
Time for some celebratory Snickles!
@tinamarie1974 Ready for the 90° temps we’re gonna have in STL by Monday? LOL
@mike808 holy shit Mike! You try it first and let me know what you think
@mike808 so not ready for the 90’s. I sense another blame for out absentee goat lol.
@tinamarie1974 I’m glad you’re back, I missed you! Congrats on the win for Buddy, and for the memorial turning out well, and for the Botox working - that’s so great!
Sorry about the sad and bad stuff - since our delinquent goat probably won’t say anything about it. It’s still his fault.
@Kyeh thanks my friend! Missed you too
@Kyeh @tinamarie1974
Glad you are better. Missed your usual wit and those boots! I’m sure Charlie was a good nurse…
FWIW @yakkoTDI is not really ignoring us all… he remains active on the other threads. He is just ghosting this one.
Thanks @chienfou, I missed you and the rest of the group as well! FWIW, Charlie was so good while I was sick. I think he knew, because the momemt I felt better he was back to his energetic self!
@chienfou @tinamarie1974
Yes, @yakkoTDI is deliberately derelict in his goatly duties. He could at least show us his cactus collection again.
If a duly elected Goat remains absentee for the entire month, does said Goat become a Goat Demeritus instead of Emeritus?
@werehatrack
He should!
@werehatrack @Kyeh A certain Volunteer Mod, whose first name begins with an I, was an absentee goat for a month. We called him Dirtbag.
@Barney @werehatrack
Wasn’t KouH awol the whole month too?
@Kyeh @werehatrack If not the whole month, I think it was pretty close to it.
@Barney @Kyeh @werehatrack and the fidget spinner guy
@Barney @Kyeh @tinamarie1974 @werehatrack Maybe there needs to be a “special” goat poop icon for goats who go MIA?
@Barney @Kidsandliz @tinamarie1974 @werehatrack Or a transparent goat icon, for the “ghost goat.” Just an outline, not filled in.
@Barney @Kyeh @tinamarie1974 @werehatrack That’s a better idea than mine.
Maybe @phendrick needs a better internet connection. Somebody should send him this and hook him up.
Sharing a clue with @yakkoTDI.
Blame. Simon got out of the yard the day before his scheduled neuter surgery. Last Tuesday, he was nowhere to be found. He’d only been here two weeks. We had zero idea how he got out.
Watching the other cats who were all of a sudden very interested in one area of the barrier that keeps them in our yard, we realized that’s where he most likely got out.
We got one of those motion sensor sprinklers and installed it so that if any of the cats wanted to figure this thing out, they’d get hosed.
This barrier has been up for almost thirty years and this is the second cat who breached it. Thirty years!
So, now to the unblame.
When I was getting dinner ready for the cats yesterday evening, I saw movement on the top of the gate next to the side garage door. It was Simon. He couldn’t get in the yard because of the barrier.
Hubby went outside to talk to him, I left through the front door and was able to get him and bring him back in the house.
He was very hungry and last night, all cats were in for the night (it went smoothly, probably because he was tired and full). No outdoor access until daylight. It will be this way until he settles down, which will probably take a while after he’s neutered. I’m hoping they can take him in on Wednesday.
It’s good to have him back.
@lisaviolet so happy he came back!!
@lisaviolet
Whew! I’m glad he’s home safe.
@tinamarie1975 @kyeh
Here he is this morning on top of the old doghouse (sort of left of the center of the photo, on the bank, you can kind of see the wire fencing at the top of the wooden fence). He’s doing fairly well being kept indoors at night.
He was pretty tired the first night, though.
Unblame. I spent Saturday with my homebrew club celebrating AHA Big Brew day (our first get-together in 3 years because of the plague). I brought home a 5 gallon share of red ale that is bubbling away in my fermenter this morning.
@yakkoTDI
Unblame…
Simon’s getting neutered today! I called to set up the appointment for Wednesday and was told they could probably do it today. She asked if he’d eaten, yes he had, well, we can give him meds to make him vomit, then we can do the surgery (tummy has to be empty).
This is great. Get it done!
@lisaviolet
@mike808
Simon yesterday afternoon after the drugs wore off.
@lisaviolet @mike808 From Simon: Blame - first, my new family brought me to some guy who gave me something that made me puke. Why would someone even do that? I had a nice nap afterwards, but when I woke up, my nuts were gone! WTF?!
@lisaviolet @mike808 how is he doing?
@mike808 @tinamarie1974 He’s doing great. Starting to catch on to the routine.
Yeah, he still goes through the house in the dead of night, singing the song of his people, but hopefully that will be over in under a month.
Thanks for asking.
@mehcuda67 @mike808 That about sums it up.
Unblame
What happens when you marry a cat lover? You have…
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STEP CATS!
(ok so not original but still funny)
@Kidsandliz Step-cat, what are you doing?
And while I am at it… BLAME Although at least I have a pattern going there (Unblame for that? Nah.)
Unblame - how to catch cockroaches. So I discovered, accidentally, how to catch and kill a bunch of cockroaches at once. Had chicken noodle soup. Had a ton of broth left when I was done. Put it on the floor for the cats to drink. Left it out overnight. About a dozen or so roaches in there drowned.
So last night used some beef bullion. And this morning almost 2 dozen dead ones and two I killed who were trying to make their exit when I turned the light one this morning to feed the cats. Way more than I catch on the sticky traps or see dead after combat roach motels are left out. Going to set the soup trap again tonight to see what I get. Way cheaper and more efficient than the other methods (landlord of this apt building does not think roach control is his problem).
@Kidsandliz
The third apartment that I moved into here in Houston was in a building that was known to have some roach problems. The landlord offered to have pest control come in once a month. I didn’t want pesticides. I bought a bunch of tubes of caulk. I caulked literally every seam in the kitchen cabinets, the bathroom vanity, the door frames, the light switch plates, the outlet plates, and where the pipes came through the wall in the bathroom and kitchen. Oddly enough, when I moved out, we’d never had a roach.
@werehatrack I have looked into doing that. Trouble is big holes behind the cabinets (saw that when mine started to fall off the wall, the tops of them are mostly missing any wood so I’d have to nail some boards there and hope not to get caught having done that) that I can’t get to - especially those in and around under the sink. I could get most of them but not all of them. And I’d have to be careful to match the color they used as we aren’t allowed to do stuff like that. I do have a strip of rubber on the main door but they can still come in under that in places (including the corners), especially now that they pulled the rug in the hall.
I think if I can kill them all when they finish the foundation work I can finally get back to where I was before then which was no roaches after I got rid of them. They only came back about 15 or so months ago when they tore up everything fixing the foundation.
@Kidsandliz Huh, well - it’s inexpensive and non-toxic, so that’s a pretty useful discovery!
@Kidsandliz @Kyeh Easy, cheap, natural way to kill the little buggers (and safe for pets) :
Diatomaceous Earth. You can find it at any garden department/store, e.g. Lowe’s or Home Depot or Menards. It is harder/sharper than their exoskeleton, so it basically cuts them just walking over the stuff and they dehydrate.
Borax. Your basic 20 Mule detergent booster stuff. It pulls moisture out of their bodies and acidifies to beak down the exoskeleton and they dehydrate.
Both are non-toxic to people and animals. You apply by spreading/pouring lines of powder where they are likely to cross - doorways, window sills, baseboards. Wherever they’re coming from, draw your Maginot line for them to go away.
Repeat as necessary.
Blame, oh, plenty of blame! Today’s SideDeal is the infamous BlendTec blender of many YouTube hours of hilarity. And for the first time, the morning convo had to start with “We need to make sure we don’t both order the Side Deal.”
And that said, now I must make room for it.
We may have to come up with a badge for people who Ghoatst when they’re on the chopping block and then just duck out for the month… But who do you blame for this behavior?
@ExtraMedium I can think of someone. What do you think @yakkoTDI?
@ExtraMedium My suggestion above was a goat outline rather than a solid one, to convey that they were a ghost. Maybe not obvious enough, though.
@Kyeh Something “cool” would result in similar behavior. Maybe a new
style badge that looks more like goat poo. I also like the title Goat Demeritus as suggested earlier.
It’s unfortunate that I have no such authority around here.
@ExtraMedium Goat poo just looks like little pellets… maybe an overturned goat with a small pile of pellets on top? 🫤
@ExtraMedium @Kyeh Maybe a literal ghost outline badge - Pac-Man style.
@ExtraMedium @Kyeh @mike808 Really, I think just noting in The Goat List that a given Goat is officially Demeritus by virtue of invisibility during tenure is more than enough. It’s not like most of us actually sought out the “honor”, after all.
Blame: The heat index in STL is 103 today. Last week it was like 70 and rainy. WTF Mother Nature
Blame: Charlie’s monthly food delivery was suppose to arrive yesterday by our friends at FedEx. They CLAIM they delivered to my driveway (why not the door, isn’t that customary?). That said, I am WFH and my desk looks out to the front yard, no FedEx truck stopped at my house yesterday, guaranteed. Called Chewy, they sent a replacement. Called FedEx, they are running a trace, not expecting much. I think we should rename them PB
In case it is not clear, @yakkoTDI, this is all your fault!
@tinamarie1974 UPS SmartPost seems to be in the lead for Best Pitney Bowes by an Established Parcel Delivery Organization. Item shipped Tuesday in Plano, still in Carrollton today. That’s about 5 miles in two days. Maybe less.
@werehatrack I actually seem to have luck with the USPS here. FedEx is just terrible, but that has a lot to do with the contractors in my area
@tinamarie1974 @werehatrack
I wish all the delivery services would send you a photo of the package the way Amazon does. One delivery got made to the back of my detached garage; I would never have found it without the photo!
@Kyeh @werehatrack agree, Inasked my FedEx Global rep whybthry dont. Systems/IT related.
@tinamarie1974 @werehatrack
Well, they should figure out a way, somehow.
@Kyeh @werehatrack agree completely. It would have instantly resolved my “delivered” package issue.
UNBLAME
Toaaadally an Uber snake
@Kidsandliz But it’s not Wednesday, my dudes.
They’re just on their commute to over there.
@Kidsandliz @mike808 Cane toads in Australia, riding a python - which is apparently uninterested in a toxic snack.
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-46720029
@mike808 @werehatrack So now we know where that photo originally came from
@Kidsandliz @mike808 @werehatrack
Pretty smart toads!
@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @werehatrack
@Kidsandliz @mike808 @werehatrack
Aren’t those its own babies? And I find that slightly horrifying - crocs and alligators are scary.
Unblame - clear skies here, so a perfect view of the eclipse. A nice long one, too!
I thought it would be more red, though.
@Kyeh Thunderstorms here. No view. BLAME!
@Kidsandliz @Kyeh not my pic, but here ya go
Clear sky here, but light pollution makes getting a decent image next to impossible.
@tinamarie1974 thanks!
Blame? Unblame? So I was reading (or more like selecting spam to delete from my inbox) and it said, or so I thought on the first read, “Stylish kitten upgrades”. Opps. Kitchen.
/giphy stylish kitten upgrades
@Kidsandliz Looks like me if I wear high heels!