Just Found Out That Imma Dead Man Walking

Smitty2525 had a quick thing to say said Thu, Mar 12th 2020 at 9:34am ET

Average age of male Coronavirus victims is 70.5, I’m 69.5. It’s all over but the puking, shitting, and gasping for air. Otherwise the weather is great winter has gone away it’s in the upper 70s here in God’s country. Getting the garden in.

8 comments, 26 replies
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Smitty2525 said Thu, Mar 12th 2020 at 9:44am ET:

Just found out there are 0 deaths in North Carolina/South Carolina. Guess we’re behind the curve in this too.

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- @cranky1950 Are you… disappointed?
  
  mossygreen said Thu, Mar 12th 2020 at 12:09pm ET
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- @mossygreen No, it just figures.
  
  Smitty2525 said Thu, Mar 12th 2020 at 7:10pm ET
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sammydog01 said Thu, Mar 12th 2020 at 12:38pm ET:

I have a lot of toilet paper I can send you if that helps.

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- @sammydog01 Great, I’ll get back to you on that.
  
  Smitty2525 said Thu, Mar 12th 2020 at 7:12pm ET
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- @sammydog01 Dude! You never offer to give away your hard-earned hoard. You’re ruining it for the rest of us!
  
  cadmore said Thu, Mar 12th 2020 at 11:40pm ET
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- @sammydog01 So you’re the one the bought it all up and left the store shelves empty!
  
  Blahbbs said Fri, Mar 13th 2020 at 6:23am ET
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- @Blahbbs @sammydog01 Maybe it’s a good time for meh to sell bidets again!
  
  mehcuda67 said Fri, Mar 13th 2020 at 8:38am ET
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stolicat said Thu, Mar 12th 2020 at 2:13pm ET:

You forgot the feverish delirium.

I’m up there, too, I can relate.

Wash your hands - don’t trust anyone under 60.

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- @stolicat
  
  don’t trust anyone under 60
  
  Heh. Because passing on the virus to us will cut the number of Baby Boomers getting SS and Medicare, and thus extending the life of the system for them. I’ll crack my door a tad for any of those young whippersnappers not walking with a cane and: “Back away and show me your Medicare card!”
  
  rockblossom said Thu, Mar 12th 2020 at 2:36pm ET
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- @rockblossom @stolicat Elsewhere someone re-posted a comment someone else made on some list they are both on that this virus is the best solution ever to the government’s boomer social security problem. Apparently the original poster thought it would be a good idea to increase boomer exposure to the virus, volunteering to go house to house with contaminated with virus items, smearing door nobs and car doors. Hopefully that original person was only making an in poor taste joke.
  
  Kidsandliz said Fri, Mar 13th 2020 at 1:07am ET
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- @stolicat Gee feverish delirium is sortta the upside of this thing.
  
  Smitty2525 said Fri, Mar 13th 2020 at 2:13am ET
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- @cranky1950 It does make the “puking, shitting, and gasping for air” a little easier to deal with …
  
  stolicat said Fri, Mar 13th 2020 at 2:36am ET
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- @rockblossom when you put it that way
  
  dvermilion said Sat, Mar 14th 2020 at 11:59pm ET
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- @stolicat Hey we got part of it right!
  https://currently.att.yahoo.com/att/chris-cuomo-coronavirus-hallucinations-040712792.html
  
  Smitty2525 said Fri, Apr 3rd 2020 at 10:31am ET
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Star2236 said Thu, Mar 12th 2020 at 2:47pm ET:

I have a Medicare card and I’m only 37. But I earned mine from a horrible work injury and fighting for 2&1/2 years without any income what so ever for disability. The lawyer said it would be the hardest thing I ever did and he was pretty close on that.

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- @star2236 I’d say you’ve earned honorary elderhood. Welcome, comrade!
  
  stolicat said Thu, Mar 12th 2020 at 3:41pm ET
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medz said Thu, Mar 12th 2020 at 8:46pm ET:

/giphy odds favor

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mehcuda67 said Sat, Mar 14th 2020 at 1:45am ET:

@cranky1950

Average age of male Coronavirus victims is 70.5, I’m 69.5.

Whew, that was close. You’re one year ahead of the game.

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lisaviolet said Fri, Apr 3rd 2020 at 11:48am ET:

What’s yer blood type?

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- @lisaviolet B-
  
  Smitty2525 said Fri, Apr 3rd 2020 at 2:26pm ET
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- @lisaviolet Why, do you need some?
  
  sammydog01 said Fri, Apr 3rd 2020 at 2:31pm ET
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- @cranky1950 I was hoping you had type O.
  
  https://www.sciencealert.com/paper-suggests-certain-blood-types-might-be-slightly-more-susceptible-to-covid-19
  
  lisaviolet said Fri, Apr 3rd 2020 at 2:55pm ET
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- @lisaviolet I saw that. Yep the wrong sneeze and it’s gonna get nasty.
  
  Smitty2525 said Fri, Apr 3rd 2020 at 3:27pm ET
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f00l said Fri, Apr 3rd 2020 at 3:04pm ET:

I’m clearly a goner. Nowadays I do nothing but hallucinate.

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- @f00l What do you see? I’ve had dreams about a certain used bookstore, and thrift stores.
  
  OldCatLady said Fri, Apr 3rd 2020 at 3:25pm ET
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- @f00l No unfortunately it’s real, it just seems too unreal to be real.
  
  Smitty2525 said Fri, Apr 3rd 2020 at 3:29pm ET
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- @f00l @OldCatLady Those were real too. You have to remember to eat when you take your insulin.
  
  Smitty2525 said Fri, Apr 3rd 2020 at 3:30pm ET
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- @cranky1950 @OldCatLady
  
  What do you see?
  
  Lately, I keep being caught up in a hallucinatory universe that contains a compelling and endless feed of very disturbing news stories.
  
  f00l said Fri, Apr 3rd 2020 at 3:51pm ET
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- @f00l Um. Hallucination? I have that and I was sure it was real! We all thought it was real! Waaaaah! We are all goners. Now, who is going to feed all of the pets left behind? (Oh, wait. They will just eat …)
  
  rockblossom said Fri, Apr 3rd 2020 at 4:00pm ET
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- @cranky1950 @f00l This is where readers of postapocalyptic fiction have an advantage. We’ve been through this in writers’ imaginations. Zombies are not included.
  
  OldCatLady said Fri, Apr 3rd 2020 at 4:30pm ET
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- @cranky1950 @f00l @OldCatLady Just to add a new fly to the coronavirus soup, it’s tornado weather here in the suburbs of Tornado Alley. Most of the area shelters are in schools, which are now closed. So: social distance and huddle in a corner of the house, or run to a shelter (hoping someone is there with keys to the door) and huddle with the community? Odds of being squished now versus odds of dying in a couple of weeks from a virus. Decisions, decisions.
  
  rockblossom said Fri, Apr 3rd 2020 at 6:06pm ET
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- @f00l @OldCatLady Unfortunately it’s a shared hallucinatory universe which implies reality of a sort. Bumma.
  
  Smitty2525 said Fri, Apr 3rd 2020 at 9:15pm ET
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- @cranky1950 @f00l @rockblossom I hadn’t thought about tornado season. Time to start digging your own shelter.
  
  OldCatLady said Sat, Apr 4th 2020 at 12:35am ET
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