My Meh face pillows, and I’ll use them to distract the zombies and aliens which are really just Meh CS who are upset that I (may have possibly) sent them dismembered skunks.
iON Cool-iCam S3000 Waterproof Action Camera with Bike Mount
Wow, been a while. The selection has been especially Meh lately.
I would aim the bike cameras at them and say ‘Pew Pew Pew!’ and scare them away. If that didn’t work I’d threaten to upload videos of their embarrassing antics to Youtube where they would thenceforce be a laughingstock to all and sundry.
If that still didn’t work I’d stick the cameras on the Schwinn and bike my way to safety or oblivion depending on how fast they were.
My sous vide cooker. It’s been living on my kitchen counter on top of the pot I bought for it while I try to figure out where in the Hell to store them, so it’s handy. I’d have to render them immobile with the non-meh pot long enough to Ziploc 'em and start to very very slowly kill them at 130 degrees sous vide style. Maniacal!
@RiotDemon What if they are so small we can trap them inside these things and zip them up and hold them captive that way? They are probably bigger than a dust mite so likely can’t escape.
Better idea than my last one. I’d convince them that someone who bought the zillion almost expired snacks has food and go visit them… Or that food could be left in a trail ending at NASA. Then let NASA capture them. That would be the biggest budget bonanza ever for NASA. Especially when they’d then parade the aliens up and down the mall.
The anti-allergy pillow cases! Fill those suckers will pool balls and I’ve got a zombie head-bashing weapon, no problem. Get behind me everyone! I’m gonna clear a path of these wretched zombie bastards if it’s the last thing I do!!!
If my door gets knocked in, and that is my introduction to a heretofore unannounced apocalypse involving both zombies and aliens, and for mysterious reasons I immediately become aware that my only suitable weapon will be my last purchase from Meh, and despite the obvious situational stress I somehow happen to remember that that purchase was the tower of near-stale snacks, then I will probably have to concede that the premise of this question assumes more of me than I am likely to be able to give under those circumstances.
I’ll probably just eat the snacks and wait… And maybe shit myself.
Last thing i bought from Meh.com was the 4 pack power banks. I could use them to charge my phone and then call for help…but i would be dead by the time that complicated mess took place. Maybe i could throw them really hard at the heads? Shit, who am i kidding? I’m totally screwed…
I last bought batteries, so @shahnm, I’d lure them with the promise of cold batteries into the freezer and shut them in there, then let you know if that works better than your snacks and hopefully give you a fighting chance (if you don’t hear from me on here, assume it didn’t work and return to your plan, which will be my plan at that time too).
My Meh face pillows, and I’ll use them to distract the zombies and aliens which are really just Meh CS who are upset that I (may have possibly) sent them dismembered skunks.
I didn’t buy any of those
pillowsbricks, but totally those.@narfcake I did so I’m totally safe!
The last thing I bought was that big pile of (by now, eaten) snacks. I guess I still have all the nesting boxes to pelt at them.
The DJI Spark drone. I guess I can fire it up and hack them to bits with the spinning rotors?
I’ll lead them to the basement with I Will Survive blasting on my robot speaker and then cut them with my Remington lockback knife.
iON Cool-iCam S3000 Waterproof Action Camera with Bike Mount
Wow, been a while. The selection has been especially Meh lately.
I would aim the bike cameras at them and say ‘Pew Pew Pew!’ and scare them away. If that didn’t work I’d threaten to upload videos of their embarrassing antics to Youtube where they would thenceforce be a laughingstock to all and sundry.
If that still didn’t work I’d stick the cameras on the Schwinn and bike my way to safety or oblivion depending on how fast they were.
My sous vide cooker. It’s been living on my kitchen counter on top of the pot I bought for it while I try to figure out where in the Hell to store them, so it’s handy. I’d have to render them immobile with the non-meh pot long enough to Ziploc 'em and start to very very slowly kill them at 130 degrees sous vide style. Maniacal!
@moondrake Ooh ooh dinner? For your dogs?
Suffocate them with the dust mite proof pillow covers? Either that tie them together and strangle them if that doesn’t work.
Strangle them with the pillow cases.
I guess I’d trip the zombies and tie them up.
@RiotDemon What if they are so small we can trap them inside these things and zip them up and hold them captive that way? They are probably bigger than a dust mite so likely can’t escape.
Easy. Crank up all the BT speakers to get them dancing and distracted, then blow them away with the USB power bank fans.
Oops. Didn’t notice you said last thing. It’s not much of a stretch to suppose that massage pillow could knead invaders to death.
Better idea than my last one. I’d convince them that someone who bought the zillion almost expired snacks has food and go visit them… Or that food could be left in a trail ending at NASA. Then let NASA capture them. That would be the biggest budget bonanza ever for NASA. Especially when they’d then parade the aliens up and down the mall.
The anti-allergy pillow cases! Fill those suckers will pool balls and I’ve got a zombie head-bashing weapon, no problem. Get behind me everyone! I’m gonna clear a path of these wretched zombie bastards if it’s the last thing I do!!!
All those damn snacks.
If my door gets knocked in, and that is my introduction to a heretofore unannounced apocalypse involving both zombies and aliens, and for mysterious reasons I immediately become aware that my only suitable weapon will be my last purchase from Meh, and despite the obvious situational stress I somehow happen to remember that that purchase was the tower of near-stale snacks, then I will probably have to concede that the premise of this question assumes more of me than I am likely to be able to give under those circumstances.
I’ll probably just eat the snacks and wait… And maybe shit myself.
well, the empty boxes that the tower of snacks was in… I could grab the biggest one and try to get it over the zombie’s head…
Last thing i bought from Meh.com was the 4 pack power banks. I could use them to charge my phone and then call for help…but i would be dead by the time that complicated mess took place. Maybe i could throw them really hard at the heads? Shit, who am i kidding? I’m totally screwed…
Glowstick zombie rave party, up in dis bitch!
Use salad bowl as helmet to protect my brains
I last bought batteries, so @shahnm, I’d lure them with the promise of cold batteries into the freezer and shut them in there, then let you know if that works better than your snacks and hopefully give you a fighting chance (if you don’t hear from me on here, assume it didn’t work and return to your plan, which will be my plan at that time too).
@mollama I’ll save you some snacks.
I last purchased a monthly membership to VIP. I’ll confuse them with why I still pay the $5 a month and escape.
/giphy candy corn
Suckers! With my Neo Li-Ion cordless toolkit I will cut them up, sand them down, drill a few holes, and put them back together as alibies/zomiens!
I’d try to convince the aliens to abduct the zombies.
I’ll buy this and hang it on the door so it is the first thing they see when they enter my apt.
