It's Goat-Hunting Season Again! (April 2017 Nominations)

@jbartus Already told you - either mehrician exchange or goat - and I am posting tomorrow about the exchange. You have others on your hit list that were discussed last month, and the month before that and the month before that…

@Kidsandliz
You could always put the exchange off for a month or two and be an awesome goat first.

/giphy "protest too much"

@Kidsandliz are you saying you’ll cancel the exchange if elected? Heinous!

@jbartus I am saying I only have time for one unless you want a shitty goat - the goat will be cancelled. @f00l People have posted that they have piles of junk building up and I said I’d do it in April. Just honoring commitments : ) Besides there are others on the hit list who got a number of competing votes last month, way more than the none I got.

@Kidsandliz
Where’s my bribe???

Huh?
/giphy bribe

PS WTF does last month have to do with it?

/youtube "what’s love got to do with it"

@f00l
Godamm I love NYC.

@f00l

Although I realize your desk looks like this:

@Kidsandliz Your time is coming, but I don’t believe you should be saddled with exchange and goat. I am not always cruel.

@mfladd

Pffft.

@mfladd

Oh wait, you said that you’re not always cruel.

Missed that.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@Kidsandliz
You saw my desk? When was that?

@f00l I believe in that dream thread… glad you admit it is yours : )

Oh, I was going to say this. He is steady, smart, funny, and super helpful.

@KDemo Now that changeover has happened, I feel safe (well, safer) in stopping in to say thank you for the kind words. I try not to exist in these threads. I don’t like being the center of attention, and probably wouldn’t be a very good goat. So I’ll just back away now

@djslack
For now.

@djslack - Message received. I’ll just say you’re respected and back out the other way.

@mfladd Another good choice.

@mfladd, @sammydog01, I’m not totally convinced this is a good look for me…

@ruouttaurmind
/image r u outta ur goat

@ruouttaurmind Do I look like I care?

@ruouttaurmind

Goat is never a good look on anyone. It kinda grows on you.

@mfladd, gotta salute for you this one.

/giphy salute

@f00l

@ruouttaurmind Ok, I have to keep looking at that image you posted. You deserve to be goat just because of that fucking creepy goat person!

@mfladd TBH, I have been practicing for about a decade now…

How did you get the prison of Zod, Ursa and Nod trapped on your head? And have they escaped?

@mfladd So I was on my way to work this morning, and there was this streak of light from the sky and allathesudden the road in front of my little truck just kinda… well, BOOM! I slammed on the brakes and narrowly escaped crashing into this huge crater in the road. I hopped outta my truck and peered over the edge into this hole. Next thing I knew there was this black… kinda parallelogram thingy flying straight towards my head. I tried to duck, but no soap. It smacked me in the kisser so hard it just kinda… fused like. Right to my noggin! Just stuck there like. I didn’t know what to do, so I just headed in to open up the office. I called a 2pm staff meeting to brainstorm and explore various options for removing it. That was my second poor choice for the day. Everyone had just returned from lunch at a new Mexican place that opened last week. They all overloaded on high carb lunches and they were all kinda… groggy like. Among them, the entire brain trust, the best they could come up with was “stop picking at it… it’ll fall off under it’s own volition.”

So… ya. Galactic prison on my face now.

And no, the prisoners are still in there, and they’re kinda pissed.

@ruouttaurmind
If you stare into it, either directly, or using a mirror or other device, what do you see?

@f00l Well, it IS directly over my eyes so I kinda can’t avoid staring directly into it. Really the only thing I see is General Zod picking his nose. That man is obsessive about mucous. It’s kinda nasty like, you know? He’s a pick and flick kinda guy, and I don’t know where that stuff is going!

@ruouttaurmind
I think if you win this election, you are rather up to the task of Goat service.

@ruouttaurmind @mfladd the goat/human hybrid reminds me of the Rippers from Tank Girl
/image tank girl rippers

@ruouttaurmind Perhaps the powers of the Kryptonians will leach into your body.

Kneel before Ruouttaurmind!

Destroyer of Worlds!

@mfladd

@mfladd If I am chosen as goat I shall make Galactic Goat my mascot!

So it is written, so shall it be done.

@ruouttaurmind

@ruouttaurmind Are you ready?

@mfladd @ruouttaurmind

It’s fun to watch grown people break down over the course of a month due to being goat.

@someRiverNoise It happens

@mfladd

Of course, there are a few exceptions, but only because they went in being realistic about how awful it is.

@someRiverNoise I neither broke down nor was realistic!!!

@f00l I will allow you to send me money via PayPal in exchange for my direction with regards to your voting.

@jbartus
You got some North/South confusion going on there, mister.

/giphy confusion (@jbartus)

@f00l no confusion here.

@f00l Ha ha. Fuck that. Thanks for reminding me to run.

@jbartus

The best way for me to know how to send you $ via PayPal is for you to send me some first.

Set an example and all. Perhaps I’ll follow it.

@f00l Please see the Nigerian princess thread… I believe you can use that method to transfer money back and forth.

EDIT: “Some” can be defined as: a penny. Right? You will need to disclose your real email address and we need to have a secret handshake word - perhaps the password to your bank account will work so I know you can be trusted? I have a friend who can navigate the dark side of the web who will serve as the middle man. After all we don’t want to get caught trying to rig the election.

@Kidsandliz
I’m just such a clueless and helpless little scaredy-kitty about all this. @jbartus will have to go first to show me it’s possible and safe.

Help me @jbartus. You are my only hope. Send $.

@Kidsandliz @f00l

I’ll send money first.

@shruggie
K!!!

@f00l

Sent.

@shruggie
OMG. My vote has been purchased.

How shall I spend it, O Generous and Machiavellian one?

@f00l You can’t sell your vote to just anyone!

@ELUNO @f00l @shruggie

You can’t sell your vote to just anyone!

That’s right. You have to sell it to someone who was going to vote like you wanted to vote. That way you didn’t bribe them to change your vote, instead you are guilty of a get rich scheme. : )

@Kidsandliz

Don’t worry. It wasn’t a lot. So no worries of a “get rich quick” scheme.

---

Besides, I only gave enough to round out my PayPal balance to the nearest dollar.

@ELUNO said

@f00l You can’t sell your vote to just anyone!

@justanyone and @just_anyone are not currently participating in this thread. however, i would consider selling to either if the payout were right.

@shruggie bought my vote for $.03.

What can I say? I’m cheap at any price.
/giphy "cheap at any price"

@kidsandliz said

You have to sell it to someone who was going to vote like you wanted to vote. That way you didn’t bribe them to change your vote, instead you are guilty of a get rich scheme. : )

Au Contraire:

1. @shruggie just made me a zillionaire. Next thing you know, I’ll run for office.
2. Becoming thoroughly corrupted was the point of this exercise. Money, payoffs, and voting are of secondary weight.
3. I’d be happy to be guilty of a “get rich quick scheme” if it were a successful one and didn’t cause me to not sleep at night worrying about widows and orphans, or about the feds coming to get me, etc. I want my “get rich quick scheme” to be sympatico with the well-being of the community. And I want my “get rich quick scheme” to be successful.

@shruggie, I am bought and paid for. How should I spend my voting wealth on your behalf?

PS @shruggie
That’s a lot of money to be slinging around. Do you have a secret connection to the Russian financial oligarchy and intelligence services or something? I have my suspicions as to how you just happen to know how to send me money. Dark suspicions indeed. I am kinda wowed. You know all, don’t you?

Ok, I know you can’t answer that on in public.

/giphy "our secret"

@f00l

Well… No way for you to find out.

@shruggie

Oh, I know many things

/giphy secrets

Shhhhhhh …

@shruggie

PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT

After consideration, I returned $.01 to @shruggie The Machiavellian Oligarch.

This month, I think my vote is only worth $.02.

I am an honest corruptee, or so I strive to be.

Beware, by next month i will have arranged for better marketing and more “apparent added value”.

Such virtue as I may possess in the future will not be so cheaply purchased.

/giphy $.02

@f00l
@shruggie returned the refunded $.01 back to me.

I suppose that’s to make sure once bribed I stay bribed.

@shruggie Maybe just nominate @jasontoon by proxy here?

@dashcloud

@PlacidPenguin constantly does that, but @jasontoon ends up getting less votes than @Kidsandliz.

@dashcloud @shruggie and since I get zero…

@Kidsandliz

Exactly.

@shruggie I’d need to borrow some rent money.

@woodhouse

I heard that there’s a nice picnic table which you could sleep on.

If that’s not good, you could probably find a tent to borrow…

@shruggie I do have my camping stuff in my car from when I camped outside Yellowstone on the drive to Texas…

@Barney – Did I make you cry twice? I thought it was just once.

@woodhouse Not sure if it was you, but someone at Meh sent me a mini Fuko 'cause I missed the last purple Fuko. I really didn’t think I was pouting that badly at missing it, but I loved what Meh did for me. Yeah, I cried when I opened it.

@Barney I believe that was @hollboll

Why heck, @woodhouse, @galmaegi, @hollboll, y’all look the same to me.

@DrunkCat

Didn’t understand your post, so enjoy this picture of a goat.

@someRiverNoise

@DrunkCat is self-nominating here.

@DrunkCat, I suggest you do a little campaigning and PR.

@f00l
/image goat drunk cat

@narfcake
Are you now @DrunkCat’s campaign manager?

I don’t think you’re allowed to have that job unless you have first been bought out by the Russkies.

So? if you want us to take you and your campaign strategy seriously, please prove beyond all doubt that you have no soul.

@f00l That sounds like work … so NO!

@ELUNO

@eluno

/giphy "feel the pane"

@mfladd
No need to re-goat you. You never got properly and fully un-goated.

@f00l True, in some very saaaaaaaad way. That is a funny pic!

@mfladd did you notice that you’re the only one who actually objected this time?

Also, I would be more concerned about your thread re-reading habit. What made you go back and look again? xD

@f00l it has been a week since @placidpenguin’s last posting… think there should be some penance served there!

@mikibell
A little worried here. @PlacidPenguin???

@f00l yup, that is why I mentioned it…

@mikibell how does that correlate with @shruggie’s appearance? @PlacidPenguin was a leading candidate on the Discord for being @shruggie

@jbartus
Is discord still going? I never tried it.

Have some reasons for believing that @PlacidPenguin is not @shruggie.

Nothing certain tho.

@f00l yeah it is. You should drop in some time!

@f00l

Looks like the account was deleted.

@someRiverNoise I think it might be @shrugsalot now.

@someRiverNoise
Why do you say the account was deleted? The account profile is still there.

@jbartus

Is there reason to believe the accounts of @PlacidPenguin, @shruggie, and @shrugsalot are connected, beyond gut feeling?

@f00l

The page which comes up when going to the page for @shruggie shows up by deleted accounts.

Unless it’s like @RiotDemon that there was just a name change.

---

Either way, this thread is getting REALLY off track. Keep conspiracies in Discord.

@someRiverNoise on second look, shrugsalot has only been here for a few days.

@f00l what happens at night at woot! ?

@thismyusername
I left a pm (private message) for @PlacidPenguin at Woot,

The two of us were part of a larger conspiracy targeting @Barney once, so we had to communicate a bit.

@Kidsandliz Door number 3! I’ll take door number 3!

@ruouttaurmind
Maybe in May or June you might get Door #3?