IRK Fool anticipation thread

@Koolhandjoe Reeeally???

@Koolhandjoe I keep the bar low, honestly excited by anything in good shape + a bag

/giphy excited

@tinamarie1974 … I can neither confirm nor deny anything that may be in the IRKs… could be Trackrs… could be clawz… could be pasta… the possibilities are endless

@Koolhandjoe and that is what makes it so exciting! It is like Christmas morning when a box arrives!!!

@Koolhandjoe @tinamarie1974
Sometimes Christmas with well-meaning but clueless relatives.

@Felton10 that was helpful

@ybmuG Glad I could be of service-I asked Walter and that was his response.

@chienfou And as it turned out, the IRK contained no brown bag (though others got them) and nothing literally aromatic of any kind.

@carl669

@Barney @carl669 And purple is nice.

@heartny I’d be cool with that. I just finished the box I squirreled away at work that I bought during Aldi’s last stroopwafel season. And people are coming back in to cubevile more often these days. I need to up my game in terms of food I bring in to share with the masses.

@heartny So far, no one has reported getting any.

/giphy expected-firefly

@gt0163c Absolutely right. And same goes for Legos. Offering to let kids being gifted to come over and build the set at my place “…so you don’t have to worry about stepping on pieces and bumping the structure during the building process”.

@gt0163c What if the cats decide it’s a present for them?

@gt0163c @Kyeh Cats want the box, mostly.

@gt0163c @werehatrack
Not mine. Strangely enough, he doesn’t sit in boxes. Maybe he got shut into one in his life before I knew him, but he does NOT do that.

@romellex I coach a youth stem/robotics team which uses the Lego Mindstorm system for the robotics portion. I buy Lego sets as “research” to learn new techniques I can show the students.
Or, ya know, that’s what I sometimes tell myself to justify my purchases. I’m not sure what new techniques I learned from the little friction motorcycles, but I’m sure it was something.

@Kyeh @werehatrack Sadly the dinosaurs (which are pretty cool) were delivered in a bubble mailer so no very fine box for the cats. BUT my IRK is scheduled for delivery today. So, if all goes well, I’ll have a very fine box of regret waiting for me when I get home. The cats will get the box. I’ll get the regret and drown my sorrows by watching the cats enjoy their box and maybe turning it into a space ship or tank for them to enjoy.
/giphy cat-tank

Hey MEH pretty sure this is the person you want to palette an IRK to and nothing her husband can co-opt for himself. Maybe one pair of those monster feet shoes for the kids.

@mbersiam I’m sure your family is lovely but the lack of gifts you get makes my heart sad. My MIL had a christmas where none of her 4 kids got her anything (all adults minds you) so now I make sure she gets flowers every time we see her and gifts for all the holidays and obviously birthdays.

@Sneakertree we would love more Clawz in our house. My middle kid literally wore holes into her pair!

Also thank you

@mbersiam @Sneakertree
What a terrific DIL you are!

@mbersiam @Sneakertree
You need kid sizes don’t you? I have a couple pair for women’s size 7.
That’s horrible you don’t get gifts. I do Santa shops at Xmas time for kids to shop for their parents/family and always try to have nice stuff so kids aren’t taking home crap to their parents like some people make. A block of wood that says I Love mom/dad for $5 is horrible. I can’t stand when people do that.

@raccoon81 just received mine as well for Sunday delivery!!

@raccoon81 soooo, your first regret is that the shipping is not regretful?

@ybmuG

/giphy excited

@cbooboo2 Tomorrow,
Sooo,Soon; should I be afraid?

@BethAnnIsFab
You have to win it during mehathons. Which are usually on random days or holidays. You have to be lightning fast bc they only have so many up for sale at a time. Somethings we get junk sometimes we get good stuff but it’s the thrill that keeps us coming back for more.

@BethAnnIsFab
First you join a group of fabulous mehtizens and form bonds of (anonymous and distant) community.

Then you begin to understand how the world of Meh works including the single deal each day and then the occasional rapid deals in a single day in what is called a Meh-rathon. It’s fun and quirky and you can get some stuff at ridiculous prices.

Then your first Meh-rathon happens and you missed it and feel like an outsider again. How did everyone know about it but me?

Your disappointment wanes and you settle back into the sense of community, participating in the forum, voting in polls, and smirking at some of the, ahem, personalities.

At the next Meh-rathon you are finally ready and it begins with excitement. You snag some new chargers for $10 and an Elmo scarf that was just calling you for some reason. No judgement; you do you.

Then you see your first Irk and it doesn’t say “sold out”. Excitedly you click “buy”. This is where your descent begins.

No, I’m not a robot.

Buy

What? Click all the boats? Ok, fine.

Now crosswalks. Ok whatevs

Green progress bar
Green progress bar
Green progress bar
Green progress bar

Sorry, we’re sold out

What? That’s not fair!

Post on the forum “what gives?”
Most of the responses are respectful
Some imply nube status
Some give you their “secret process” including clicking the link three times starting at T-minus 1 second, take three sips of scotch right before, you know, standard stuff.

Learn first lesson that if you wait until the offer automatically refreshes, you’re already too late.

Over the next several Meh-rathons, try several times, different tactics, fail every time, even though you stayed up all night and had alarms going off every 27 minutes the whole day.

When you family asks what you’re doing your only response is “BICYCLES!”

You spend the next six months studying the forums and building a spreadsheet with technique data from every successful IRKer you can find.

None
Of
It
Works

After 4750 hours of “number crunching” and “research” you finally figure out what the secret is.

…

After you emerge from your court-mandated three months of psychotherapy, you glance at the site one day and, whaddya know, it’s a Meh-rathon! At 3:47am one comes up and, amazingly you get through and you place the order.

WHAT? Can this be real??

Now you are sure you have solved the secret to getting an IRK!

When it comes, and you open the box, you understand for the first time why they call them Instant Regret Kits - and you realize now the thing that keeps so many of us coming back after getting them multiple times but still falling over ourselves to get them again - addictive personalities.

From there on its a further slide into addiction including purchase statements like:
“I have no idea what this is, but it’s the best thing to come along in 7 months…
/buy”

and

“Eh, why not
/buy -quantity7”

Finally you find yourself answering some new person’s innocent question after joining literally minutes before, with a book-long blather that had nothing to do with what they asked.

I hope this helps.
I feel better, anyway.

@ybmuG whoa, don’t let out the secret mate. My family still think i was away because of I couldn’t control myself and not because of irk

@NoIRK nobody can read this right?

@ybmuG
Thanks for the education. I’m certain I’ll fit in just fine with all the addicts. And I have a PhD in sarcasm which may come in handy.

@Star2236
Thanks for the info.

@BethAnnIsFab

a PhD in sarcasm

We are your post-doctoral research subjects!

Sarcasm is our love language… those that survive here, anyway.

@BethAnnIsFab @ybmuG Wow…that pretty much sums it up.

@BethAnnIsFab @ybmuG you forgot

/giphy Wonder Woman

@ybmuG
Where exactly do I find this fabulous group of mehtizens? And how will I know they’re fabulous and not just meh?

@BethAnnIsFab @tinamarie1974 I could NEVER forget Wonder Woman… part of the reason for the court-appointed psychotherapy, but that’s another story…

@BethAnnIsFab

Where exactly do I find this fabulous group of mehtizens?

/giphy right here!

And how will I know they’re fabulous and not just meh?

Follow your nose

@BethAnnIsFab @ybmuG is she still stalking you?

@BethAnnIsFab @tinamarie1974 apparently

@ybmuG
One more annoying question, how do I join a club? And you seem to be right in front of my nose and you’re very educational, so how about your club?

@BethAnnIsFab club? There are clubs? Nobody told me about clubs!

Seriously (not sure I’m capable, but I’ll try) there are a number of ad hoc groups of folks that do things like online games and stuff but no formal subgroups or anything. If you spend any time here you’ll quickly connect with folks. And if your PhD is not honorary, you’ll also quickly decipher the fun from the bs.

If you’re still here after all this, i think you’ll quickly find your niche.

And since i didn’t really say it before, welcome! Sit a spell!

@BethAnnIsFab @ybmuG well there is the goat clubhouse, but you need a key to get in.

@BethAnnIsFab @tinamarie1974

is she still stalking you?

And just about the time you posted the picture, we decided to watch Red Notice.

You can see where this is going

@BethAnnIsFab @ybmuG

1. Oh no! Do you think your wife is in on it?
2. Execellent movie. Hope you enjoy

@BethAnnIsFab @tinamarie1974
1 not sure about that but she’s enjoying it. After the movie was over, she said “you realize who that was, right?” “No, who?” “The new WW.” SMH!

2 we did!

@BethAnnIsFab @ybmuG

/giphy giggle

@medonsw Also Saturday club. I have had better luck though. Mine often arrive a day early.

@Medlir That’s the default. More typical size is around 12x10x9 if I recall correctly.

And FXG had it here before Noon.

@Kidsandliz Oh, THAT’S reassuring. Mine is due next Monday, Tuesday, or whatever random day FedEx claims. Hope and fear mingle in my heart

@raccoon81 I think the IRK bags make it worth it. Congrats! Those look like my glasses. Where are my glasses…

@romellex

chronically hopeful

That’s an incurable disease. Right?

@Kidsandliz Yeah, incurable. I’m sometimes called Pollyanna.

@romellex Don’t get too hopeful. I’ve had a popcorn popper sitting in Olathe since Monday. Hasn’t moved an inch in four days now. Delivery still “pending” on that one.

Plenty of company, though, since my IRK delivery date has been pushed (so far) to Wednesday 4/13 (from Saturday 4/9) as it currently sits in Olathe, KS, as well!

@remo28
/giphy ditto

@sammydog01 hey I have a tracking number now. It has just been sent to fed ex. It says it was at 8:39 this morning, but didn’t show that when I looked a few hours ago.
Edit - it’s arrived in Irving TX as of 6:56pm et.