I too have questions:
Should they be marinated before cooking?
Will there be a plant-based alternative baby or toddler for vegans?
Is there a recommended daily serving (like for fruits and vegetables)?
@steeltoesenator So one day the teenager was being a worse brat than the usual normal teen level of brat child. I told her there were good reasons why some species eat their young. She responded that I didn’t like to cook and wouldn’t know how to cook her. I told her there is always the internet.
@kuoh@steeltoesenator Ummm… No cooking the kid needed? No way (to use one of her favorite phrases.)! I am not eating raw child when she is behaving like shit.
@Kidsandliz@steeltoesenator You don’t have to eat the whole kid, especially the bad parts. Next time she acts up, just sprinkle some salt on her arm and if she keeps it up, take a small nibble. If that still doesn’t get the point across, then break out the knife and fork. Just don’t waste the rest of the kid, there are starving cannibals in the Amazon.
@kuoh@werehatrack Well I will tell my kid about that cookbook if we ever have that conversation again. On the other hand somewhere I have the instructions for how you shrink heads. Got that as a teen from the Cleveland History Museum where they had 4 shrunken heads in the basement. I had threatened her with that too and showed her how it is done. Humor worked better with her than some other approaches.
What? You mean we can no longer break a cookie in half, put one half in each of the toddler’s hands to keep said kid from picking up stuff they shouldn’t touch while in the store? I hope there is a category for that kind of useful food.
When I was in 4th grade my family moved to Nevada. One of the major things they taught in history lessons was the story of the Donner party. Quite gruesomely fascinating to grade school kids!
And then of course here in CO we had the infamous Alferd Packer. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alferd_Packer
@blaineg@Kyeh And “phone call for Mike Hunt”…“is Mike Hunt here”? We actually got a barmaid to fall for that one. She was yelling over the music and crowd. We had beer coming from our noses.
@Kyeh Not for nothing, but George Donner was my great-great-great grandfather. My dad’s name is Donner and my cousin is Tamsen. No joke. It was a weird childhood. Also I thought my dad was a reindeer for a long time.
@Kyeh Yeah, the story is tragic but it’s not quite the meme it’s become. I’ve done a lot of family research and I’ve learned to just roll with it I’ve got Eli Whitney and Samuel Morse on my mom’s side… but that’s another story.
@blaineg@detailer@ircon96
My brother and his grade-school pal wanted to get the airport paging system to call for
Mr. Janus … Mr. Hugh Janus. Hardeehar.
@Kyeh I learned about Alferd Packer through Cannibal! The Musical. It used to be very hard to find, but now it looks like it’s on Tubi and Peacock for free.
Judge Melville Gerry at the 1883 sentencing: “Stand up, Alferd Packer, you voracious, man-eating s-- of a b----. There were seven Democrats in Hinsdale County, and you ate five of 'em. I sentence you to hang until you are dead, dead, dead as a warning against reducing the Democratic population of the state.”
@blaineg
Yeah it was weird. For some reason it wouldn’t show up on my computer. Maybe some restriction on the browser from work? Though I generally don’t seem to have any other issues… Very curious.
@blaineg
OK just got to work and checked this and yep… it’s not there. Not sure why not but evidently IT is blocking it… Both at the top of the page and in the post just above. Oh, and on my profile page where I saw you had responded…
I too have questions:
Should they be marinated before cooking?
Will there be a plant-based alternative baby or toddler for vegans?
Is there a recommended daily serving (like for fruits and vegetables)?
@steeltoesenator So one day the teenager was being a worse brat than the usual normal teen level of brat child. I told her there were good reasons why some species eat their young. She responded that I didn’t like to cook and wouldn’t know how to cook her. I told her there is always the internet.
@Kidsandliz @steeltoesenator Have her look up beef carpaccio or better yet show her an Andrew Zimmerman or Anthony Bourdain episode on the matter.
KuoH
@Kidsandliz @kuoh So the trick is to slice it thin?
@Kidsandliz @steeltoesenator I wouldn’t know, but no cooking is required. I suppose some salt, pepper and A1 might be helpful.
KuoH
@kuoh @steeltoesenator Ummm… No cooking the kid needed? No way (to use one of her favorite phrases.)! I am not eating raw child when she is behaving like shit.
@Kidsandliz @steeltoesenator You don’t have to eat the whole kid, especially the bad parts. Next time she acts up, just sprinkle some salt on her arm and if she keeps it up, take a small nibble. If that still doesn’t get the point across, then break out the knife and fork. Just don’t waste the rest of the kid, there are starving cannibals in the Amazon.
KuoH
@Kidsandliz @kuoh @steeltoesenator
I read that as “there are starving cannibals ON Amazon”
@Kidsandliz @kuoh OTOH, there’s always the option of adding this to the cookbook rack…
https://smile.amazon.com/Serve-Man-Cookbook-People/dp/1479419281/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=to+serve+man+cookbook&qid=1674101067&sprefix=to+serve+man%2Caps%2C556&sr=8-1
@kuoh @werehatrack Well I will tell my kid about that cookbook if we ever have that conversation again. On the other hand somewhere I have the instructions for how you shrink heads. Got that as a teen from the Cleveland History Museum where they had 4 shrunken heads in the basement. I had threatened her with that too and showed her how it is done. Humor worked better with her than some other approaches.
@blaineg @Kidsandliz @kuoh @steeltoesenator Don’t be surprised if there are some. Amazon has everything!
@steeltoesenator You cook it the same way you cook veal, of course.
What? You mean we can no longer break a cookie in half, put one half in each of the toddler’s hands to keep said kid from picking up stuff they shouldn’t touch while in the store? I hope there is a category for that kind of useful food.
These new guidelines brought to you by the FDA division of NestleMonsantoCargillBayer, in cooperation with the AMA arm of AbbottScheringPfizer.
@werehatrack <cynic much?>
(but, with cause)
@phendrick Yes to both, sadly.
Is this a special version of Soylent Green?
/image to serve man
@shahnm Richard Kiel, a.k.a. Jaws.
Apparently Jonathan Swift was ahead of his time.
@macromeh How about Gustavus Swift? I mean, considering the subject matter & all…
@ircon96
<
Well, that actually WAS the point of his modest proposal…
@macromeh
That was precisely my first thought as well!
@chienfou I just figured, if those 2 got together, they’d be unstoppable!
When I was in 4th grade my family moved to Nevada. One of the major things they taught in history lessons was the story of the Donner party. Quite gruesomely fascinating to grade school kids!
And then of course here in CO we had the infamous Alferd Packer.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alferd_Packer
@Kyeh The Donner Party was always taught in Utah schools as well.
A friend says he uses the name Donner for reservations.
“Donner, party of 6. Donner, party of 6.”
@blaineg
@blaineg @Kyeh And “phone call for Mike Hunt”…“is Mike Hunt here”? We actually got a barmaid to fall for that one. She was yelling over the music and crowd. We had beer coming from our noses.
@Kyeh Not for nothing, but George Donner was my great-great-great grandfather. My dad’s name is Donner and my cousin is Tamsen. No joke. It was a weird childhood. Also I thought my dad was a reindeer for a long time.
#themoreyouknow
@capnjb Wow! It’s amazing that the kids survived when their parents didn’t.
)
(A reindeer
@Kyeh Yeah, the story is tragic but it’s not quite the meme it’s become. I’ve done a lot of family research and I’ve learned to just roll with it
I’ve got Eli Whitney and Samuel Morse on my mom’s side… but that’s another story. 
@capnjb No wonder you’re so inventive!
@Kyeh Also adopted, so I guess I got it through osmosis…heh.
@capnjb Oh, I assumed it was your birth parent, but sure - why not? An attitude and approach to life that you absorbed?
@blaineg @detailer @Kyeh The Mike Hunt thing reminded me that the chyron programmer at my local tv station fell for a similar hoax the other day!
@blaineg @detailer @ircon96
My brother and his grade-school pal wanted to get the airport paging system to call for
Mr. Janus … Mr. Hugh Janus. Hardeehar.
@detailer @ircon96 @Kyeh Then there’s this (fired) intern’s moment of glory.
@blaineg @detailer @ircon96
That really appeared on TV?
@blaineg @detailer @ircon96 @Kyeh
The dining hall at CU in Boulder is called Alferd Packer Hall… Their motto was “Have a friend for lunch”.
@blaineg @chienfou @detailer @ircon96 @Kyeh Would that be fried, baked, roasted or pickled?
@detailer @ircon96 @Kyeh Yep, several fired over it.
https://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-ntsb-intern-asiana-20130715-story.html
https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2013/07/tv-station-tries-and-fails-to-use-copyright-to-hide-its-racist-news-blunder/
@blaineg @detailer @ircon96
WOW.
@Kyeh I learned about Alferd Packer through Cannibal! The Musical. It used to be very hard to find, but now it looks like it’s on Tubi and Peacock for free.
@djslack I didn’t know about that!
@Kyeh My uncle used to work at Al Packer Ford in Baltimore. I always wondered what they served at the company picnics.
@lisagd Yikes!
@blaineg @detailer @ircon96 @Kyeh
Judge Melville Gerry at the 1883 sentencing: “Stand up, Alferd Packer, you voracious, man-eating s-- of a b----. There were seven Democrats in Hinsdale County, and you ate five of 'em. I sentence you to hang until you are dead, dead, dead as a warning against reducing the Democratic population of the state.”
@Freeheeler https://arthousedenver.com/portfolio/alferd-packer-restaurant-grill/
@Freeheeler @werehatrack
… Guess I should have read the rest of the posts before I responded above!
Floor Cheerios!
bummer, your image link is gone…
@chienfou I still see it!
@chienfou This image link?
@blaineg
Yeah it was weird. For some reason it wouldn’t show up on my computer. Maybe some restriction on the browser from work? Though I generally don’t seem to have any other issues… Very curious.
@blaineg
OK just got to work and checked this and yep… it’s not there. Not sure why not but evidently IT is blocking it… Both at the top of the page and in the post just above. Oh, and on my profile page where I saw you had responded…
@chienfou How about this one?
https://imgur.com/I3BdfSu
@chienfou Or this?
@blaineg
I can see the last one in-line in the post (link on the other works if I click it but doesn’t pop in the post automagically.)
@rockblossom gross
I guess you’ll be needing one of these. Some assembly required, but what a bargain!
