how to pick out a box of crackers
7Does anyone have advice on how to pick out a box of crackers that contains multiple plastic sleeves of intact crackers inside?
More often than not, the boxes I select contain mostly broken crackers. I can and have tolerated upwards of 20% being crumbs but lately it seems to be closer to 80-90%. My technique hasn’t changed much over the years. I have been brand (Keebler) loyal too. Was I on an incredible box selection streak all these years? Have there been notable changes in the cracker packaging industry I should be aware of?
Any and all advice would be appreciated. Thanks!
- 16 comments, 28 replies
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@brhfl Why does this seem like the correct answer?
@brhfl I love this response. It seemed so scientific and then it came to a rational conclusion. Thank you. I needed that laugh today. . Very well done.
@Barney Umm because there are lies, damn lies and statistics?
Do what everyone else does. Shake them real hard, and if you hear them rattling, put them back on the shelf for some other sucker to buy.
@djslack That’s what I do.
@djslack this is too funny not to try.
@djslack And I’m always that sucker.
@djslack This is fantastic.
/giphy bravo
Note: I work for Nabisco.
It depends on the cracker brand.
Crackers made by Nabisco, Keebler, and Sunshine are Direct Store Delivery (DSD) companies. This means the crackers are shipped by that cracker company’s driver to the store. Then the crackers are stocked by that cracker company’s merchandiser or rep, not the grocery store clerk.
If it’s one of those brands I mentioned above, the store probably doesn’t touch those crackers (unless the store gets wiped out after the merchandiser leaves).
The DSD reps typically have a dozen or so stores, so it’s possible that the rep services ALL of the stores in your area (unless you live in a big city.)
In conclusion, the thin Keebler crackers are pretty brittle, although they have that butter-yum taste to them. Ritz are much sturdier, but you will still sometimes have the bottom 2-4 crackers crumbled at the bottom of each sleeve.
@hems79 if we can put a man on the moon (allegedly) why can’t we have tastiness and sturdiness in the same package?
@hems79 Not all stores receive those brands DSD. Where I work, they come in on the grocery truck from our warehouse. Granted, we’re a convenience chain not a grocery chain.
@elimanningface Because we won’t buy a box of crackers that costs $1B?
@elimanningface We can’t put a man on the moon right now. I mean, the U.S. can’t even put a man in space right now.
@hems79 Have you heard that Kellogg’s Snacks (which includes Keebler) is dropping DSD? I’m wondering how long it will be before Nabisco follows suit, since we’d heard years ago that they had considered dropping DSD but were afraid they’d lose advantage to Kellogg’s. Any which way, there will be a lot of people looking for jobs soon (know a few…).
@hems79 Keebler bought Sunshine, and Kellogg bought Keebler, so, anyway, Keebler and Sunshine are the same company, and, while base Cheez-Its are pretty close to the same, they’ve diluted the brand will all those additional crappy flavors.
And, nothing against you or your employer, but Cheese Nips are a poor substitute.
Try a totally different store to rule out distributor, vendor, and/or stockperson issues.
@elimanningface, I concur with @medz. First, try switching to a different store within your preferred chain brand. Then, if no success, switch to a store outside your preferred chain brand. Most likely the local store stocking personnel have been handing the product poorly.
Several times I’ve seen stockers tossing cases of product down isles as they distribute their load. Never once, I’m sure, realizing all those dented cans of beans, smashed cookies and crumbled crackers they’re causing.
Another note: I can only speak for Nabisco, but the cardboard cases containing the boxes haven’t changed much, as they are still pretty darn sturdy. The box packaging itself also hasn’t changed. Even though companies are cutting costs as much as possible, they still don’t want to deliver shit that will turn away customers.
For us, there should actually be LESS crumbly badness happening. More and more of our warehouses are shipping to stores on pallets instead of floor loading, so there should be a bit less handling. We also resized all of our box / case heights so they fit more snug and secure on pallets with less wonky looking pallets.
@hems79 I want to make a joke about you working for Big Cracker but using the term doesn’t feel right. Tell me if it is though, and I will make said joke .
@hems79
I have noticed that recent Keebler cracker purchases have changed in that the crackers no longer seem to have the little browned air pockets in them and are flatter than they used to be. I wonder if they tweaked and ruined it for cost issues(talking to you “fun size” candy bars) or to make them sturdier. Either way it sucks.
I am slowly losing weight(which is good) but unfortunately it is because I no longer like many of the foodstuffs I used to love. Companies are ruining everything and I guess many people do not notice or care.
@ponagathos Keebler products have been going downhill since Kellogg’s bought them back in 2001. The removal of trans fats is responsible for some of the changes, but other changes have been made in an effort to make crackers and cookies sturdier in transit or to cut manufacturing and packaging costs.
So no one else opens every box in the store until finding one with no breakage? Just me? Huh.
Side note, this method only works once or twice per store. Then you are ‘no longer welcome’ and ‘fail to understand basic food commerce’, apparently.
The stockperson may have worked at a shipping company before. Try a different store.
Crumbled crackers are good in chili.
@Barney I like this! If we follow this to it’s logical conclusion, @elimanningface doesn’t need to find unbroken crackers. Rather, the solution is to make moar chili!
/giphy make moar chili
@ruouttaurmind And that’s exactly the way I make my chili. Just add crumbled crackers and it’s ready for eating!
Can’t help with finding the perfect one, but use my favorite after techniques. Email, call, write. Both the store and the brand. Most of the time they care, and most of the time they send out coupons for free items.
@jml326 in theory, returning items to a grocery store can be done but are they?
@elimanningface I see it happen all the time. When there was a pricing error (POS system didn’t apply a sale price for example) I am forced to go to the Customer Disservice counter for an adjustment. I frequently see customers returning items of unsatisfactory quality.
@ruouttaurmind true but I should have clarified. To physically return to the store after leaving is such a bold move. You might be OK w/in a…20 minute window…but anything longer would just be thrill seeking.
@elimanningface I return stuff that’s disgusting. I’ve bought milk from the same grocery store chain for probably close to 20 years. In the last couple of years I’ve had around 6 gallons that tasted like they came from somewhere else or they accidentally bottled skim milk in the 2% cartons. They just apologize and give a store credit so I can purchase other stuff. I’ve also returned meat that I bought and the next day went to cook it, and it smelled weird.
@RiotDemon you are a wild and crazy guy
@elimanningface except I’m not a guy
I also live about 3 minutes from the store, so it’s not a huge burden to go back.
You shouldn’t eat crackers. Switch to celery it never had crumbles.
@cranky1950 You’re cranky.
If it’s that common I’m inclined to think the store is mishandling the boxes or their distributor is.
Try a different location and, if part of a chain, a different chain.
Later sell by dates probably mean the box has been handled by customers less, make sure there are no bends or creases in the box,
That’s the way the cracker crumbles?
/giphy crumbled
The more aliens that are in this country, the more you’ll see this happening.
It’s a little known fact that the low frequency pulse waves generated by the engines of alien spacecraft can cause resonance with most common cracker shapes (and Pringles), hence causing the commonly observed cracker destruction within pristine outer packaging. Once you’ve worked at a supermarket long enough, you’ll come to expect the nightly visits by aliens to stock up on biofuel from the supermarket dumpsters. Your best bet is to get a high sensitivity microphone array and set it up overnight near your usual supermarket. If you register a hum at 15.8±.3 Hz between 2 and 4am, then you’ve got yourself an alien spacecraft problem. Trust me, you don’t want to fight this issue. Your only option is to use a different grocery store.
@placeholder This is also needed
@placeholder Although this might work too…
Maybe this is karma because I came on here and made a smartass comment, but two days ago I bought a pristine box of Nabisco premium saltines. When I opened it up the crackers looked fine. But strewn throughout the sleeves are crushed crackers that appear intact until you try to pick them up. Maybe 40% of the crackers have been like this, with only one or two broken and surrounded by intact crackers on both sides.
I apologize for thinking your post was in jest, because I now know that the struggle is real. I guess it’s time to make some chili.
/youtube uncle cracker