@UncleVinny Dunno… I just can’t get over the whole stranger bit. Possibly because any massage I’ve received in the past has been from an intimate partner, so apparently I equate massage and intimacy in my twisted consciousness?
@ruouttaurmind naaaaah, it’s not twisted, it’s totally reasonable to connect them in your brain. But… in a sense, thinking of it as “hey, this is just like a handshake” is pretty powerful. It might help to pick a masseur/masseuse who’s of a gender you find less attractive, too.
I dunno… I suppose I have deep thoughts on this topic, but I’ve been trying to finish off some spiced rum tonight so I’m not thinking as clear as a bell. Might check in with you later.
I have had hundreds of massages in my lifetime and not one has turned into a porn video. In the US there are very specific rules about towel/sheet placement and where they can touch you. No need to be concerned.
NOW if you are out of country, it varies and you need to be open minded. Other countries have different ideas about nudity, personal space, wellness, etc. All that said, there were still no happy endings
@ruouttaurmind@UncleVinny It creeps me out also and it doesn’t have anything to do with any sexual overtones. I find strangers merely talking to me is a little off-putting, much less invading my personal space. Touching me crosses the line to uncomfortableness, and the thought of having them paw all over me makes me shudder.
thinking of it as “hey, this is just like a handshake” is pretty powerful.
Yuck. Gross. I thought I was at rock-bottom regarding my feelings towards a massage from a stranger, buy you just made it exponentially worse in my mind. The only thing that makes handshakes acceptable is they only last a couple of seconds. An extended handshake would be mega-revolting.
It might help to pick a masseur/masseuse who’s of a gender you find less attractive, too.
Nope. Nope. Nope.
The more physically imposing an individual is, the more vulnerable I am going to feel lying there passively.
Statistically speaking, a male is more likely to stab me in the back, pluck out my eyeballs, tie them to strings and use them for clackers. Particularly, while I have my back turned and am only wearing a towel.
@DrWorm@UncleVinny@tinamarie1974 When I use the term “intimate” or “intimacy” I am referring to the emotional sense, not necessarily any sexual component. Receiving a massage from a SO with whom I have an emotionally intimate relationship eliminates issues of trust, boundaries and personal space. Thinking of it like a handshake makes sense, but it’s still not for me.
Nope, not gonna happen. I’m glad you folks appreciate and enjoy them, but the’re just not for me. It’s ok, I don’t like creamed spinach either, but I’m still a functional member of society.
@RiotDemon - There are a lot of different kinds of massage - I used to get them regularly and occasionally got a deep-tissue massage - agony during the massage, felt amazing afterwards. However the best ‘massage’ I ever had was from an Ohashiatsu practitioner. It felt great during the massage and great afterwards, and didn’t involve any skin-on-skin beyond a hand on my wrists and ankles. All fully clothed. Alas the guy moved to Hawaii.
I’ve had many other kinds of massage, including a lot of disappointing Swedish, which together with moves and lifestyle changes led me to drop the whole thing. But I dunno, this may be a sign to look into it again.
Because I got these stupid scalp massagers last time, and they kind of hurt!!!
@aetris@RiotDemon Agree. It sounds like you had a deep tissue or sports massage, where the goal is to break down tissue. VERY painful!
There are so many different types of massage and several are simply to relax you. Also, know that while being massaged it is your responsibility to be actively involved. If they pressure is too soft or too intense you should tell the masseuse. They don’t mind as it helps them be more effective. It also helps you have an enjoyable experience.
All this to say, try again. You may enjoy a different style/type!
@RiotDemon Get one that still works out the kinks but relaxes you also… heaven! Therapeutic but not crushing. (I had one like you’re talking about once and had I never had the other kind first, that would have been my last one too.)
I feel sorry for the people who voted never. I get 3-4 a year.
My last one was on Friday, though I must say it was the most aggressive massage I’ve ever had. I’ve never been glad to have a massage be over until getting a massage from that lady. My muscles were relaxed after it but…damn…
@DrWorm@inanna lol If you want to find out who the best MT is in a place with many of them, ask the other MTs.
I go to Massage Envy, and I’ve read reviews of other locations that say they get the bottom of the barrel of freshly minted LMTs, but I’ve been very lucky at my place to have some very skilled therapists.
Have also had a couple of “meh” and a couple of flat out awful massages (like such light pressure that it’s more annoying than relaxing), but I just don’t go back to those therapists and eventually find the right one.
My favorite therapists have their favorite therapists and on 2 occasions (once when my MT went on maternity leave and another who left for a different location), I’ve switched from one to the other and been very satisfied.
All of the best therapists have fully booked schedules, and they’re not afraid to send a client to another therapist whose technique might be a better fit for that client.
@cathyk39 Agree completely. I started going every-other month, but within the last year, I switched to monthly. I just feel so much better after a great massage! About every third month, I spring for a 90 minute instead of the standard 60 minute. After those the massage therapist (don’t call them a masseuse) nearly has to put me in a bucket & carry me out of the studio.
Once a week!
I have pretty bad back problems, and a skilled massage therapist can make a huge difference.
I have a regular therapist right now who is fantastic, but I’ve been doing this regularly for, like, 6 years, so I’ve had to switch therapists a few times.
Have been lucky enough to have a few very good MTs, but have had some pretty bad ones in between.
I have said that even a bad massage is better than no massage, but that might be just a bit hyperbolic.
I need deep pressure to relieve the pain, but lighter pressure from a skilled therapist can still be very relaxing.
And I do go for dual purposes - to relieve pain/restore flexibility and also just to let everything go and relax.
I meditate while being worked on and often fall asleep.
A therapist who won’t shut-up and let me drift away is not a great therapist, regardless of how good their massage technique is.
I understand why some folks might not be at all comfortable with it, it’s about as intimate as you can get without it getting sexual (and it doesn’t, and should never).
But, I feel bad for people who can’t get past the vulnerability and intimacy - you’re missing out on one of the great pleasures in life.
Various therapists have different levels of comfort with client ‘exposure’.
Some absolutely swaddle you, others just make sure to keep the private bits private.
Believe it or not, the latter makes me far more comfortable than the former.
If the therapist is comfortable with my nudity, then so am I.
If a therapist goes to great lengths to keep any of my skin from being exposed (even the not-private bits), then their apparent discomfort makes me very self-conscious.
I don’t want anyone seeing any parts of my body that they don’t want to.
It’s much more relaxing when they don’t act like any exposed skin is too much - again, while keeping the private bits private. I’ve never had a therapist who made me feel over-exposed.