@nickiwhite Exactly, Mediocre has full-time staff dedicated to coming up with humorous knife polls. Let them do their jobs.
Only a small percentage of the humorous knife polls go to meh.com, the rest are sent to various companies who source their humorous knife poll needs to Mediocre, the world's most trusted name in humorous knife polls.
I noticed that on the 23rd, @mediocrebot got super excited for this poll, and posted it not once, but twice. Sadly though, after I voted, it got removed.
Knife poll: What would you say if this happened to you? A. Ohhh, ohhh, that hurt. B. A piece of that, the tip, just got me Odell. C. Ohhh that got me good. D. That hurt bigtime. E. We may need emergency surgery in the studio.
When talking the subject of "its not how big your knife is, but how you use it" do you measure including the part thats in your hand as well? I always referred to the part that extends beyond the grip of my hand as my "pride". So when talking length,do you include grip to tip ?
In keeping with the missing choice in today's poll you should have this poll.
How many times should Meh sell knives in the future? A. None B. Never again C. Zero times C. They have already sold them to often D. They should change todays item to something else and apologize and promise never to sell them again.
How would you open your meh package of knives, without a knife? a) BEAR HANDS - we won't ask where you got them. b) RAPTOR CLAWS - we totally want to know where you got them. c) Bare hands - you're not much of a risk taker, are you? d) Creepily licking the tape until the moisture makes it let go, revealing the wonderful goodness inside the package. (eww.)
@Thumperchick Or, at my house, you could just leave the box on the porch overnight and let the raccoons rip it open for you. (Of course, they might also make off with the knives.)
The correct answer is zero. Just zero.
And by that I mean: what happened to wanting interesting things to write about?
@nickiwhite Exactly, Mediocre has full-time staff dedicated to coming up with humorous knife polls. Let them do their jobs.
Only a small percentage of the humorous knife polls go to meh.com, the rest are sent to various companies who source their humorous knife poll needs to Mediocre, the world's most trusted name in humorous knife polls.
Your ideas just aren't cutting it? Meh.
I noticed that on the 23rd, @mediocrebot got super excited for this poll, and posted it not once, but twice. Sadly though, after I voted, it got removed.
how long is your blade?
what color would the handle be on your perfect knife (or material)?
@Cerridwyn It's not the length of the blade that's important, it's how you use it.
To avoid being a liar...
How many times have you cut yourself with a pocket knife?
Idea for the next knife poll: Where do you hide the body?
@jmoor783 "Body?" We are only allowed one?
If you could buy a knife, how many knives would you buy?
1-2
3-5
6-10
11 or more
How close has an exposed blade come to your genitalia?
@show_the_maw Does a razor count?
@awk that's not a knife
@justan79 it's still a blade
@awk if it's a box cutter or a cut throat I'll allow it.
How about "Best Song Featuring a Knife, " or have you done that already?
@justan79 you know, "Mac the Knife," "Cuts like a knife", "First cut is the deepest"
@justan79 That's easy, it's this
How much do you care about the honesty of your answers in polls about knives?
Who would win in a knife fight: handyman, swashbuckler, contractor, other
Best name for a knife: Pointy, Stabbie, Sharpie, Knifey McKnifeface?
@justan79 I'd have to take my Knifey McKnifeface on my Boaty McBoatface trip to study the Ocean McWaterface.
What is your favorite blade - serrated, grass, gay, razor, fan, etc
I answered 1-2, but I'm a liar. You'll get no ideas from me. This is the price you pay for not giving me a 0 option in the poll.
@rhrgrt well, I also said 1-2, but I've given 3. So I think we balance each other out
Ever made your own: charred wood, bone, obsidian, flint, metal?
Knife poll:
What would you say if this happened to you?
A. Ohhh, ohhh, that hurt.
B. A piece of that, the tip, just got me Odell.
C. Ohhh that got me good.
D. That hurt bigtime.
E. We may need emergency surgery in the studio.
If you have ever used a knife to carve your initials + someone else's on a tree, how long did that relationship last?
Which of the following should we offer as a means to store your meh knives?
When talking the subject of "its not how big your knife is, but how you use it" do you measure including the part thats in your hand as well? I always referred to the part that extends beyond the grip of my hand as my "pride". So when talking length,do you include grip to tip ?
How many people do you plan on stabbing with this knife?
There, ya got three. I imagine meh.com's professional writer(s) get paid just slightly more then I do for that.
If you found yourself in a knife fight, what kind of gun would you want to have ?
Flare gun
Starters pistol
Musket
44 magnum like Dirty Harry
In keeping with the missing choice in today's poll you should have this poll.
How many times should Meh sell knives in the future?
A. None
B. Never again
C. Zero times
C. They have already sold them to often
D. They should change todays item to something
else and apologize and promise never to sell
them again.
How many knives would you bring to a gun fight?
How annoyed do you get when Meh sells knives?
A. Very Annoyed
B. Very Very Annoyed
C. Enraged. Where's my knife?!
knife?
A. Knife
B. Knife
C. Knife
D. Knife
F. Knife doesn't look like a word anymore.
@Crud Where's E?
@koalamoo lets just say, he didnt make the cut.
West Side Story
@sammydog01 Jets or Sharks?
@sammydog01
IwannaliveinAmerica!
@f00l OKbymeinAmerica
How would you open your meh package of knives, without a knife?
a) BEAR HANDS - we won't ask where you got them.
b) RAPTOR CLAWS - we totally want to know where you got them.
c) Bare hands - you're not much of a risk taker, are you?
d) Creepily licking the tape until the moisture makes it let go, revealing the wonderful goodness inside the package. (eww.)
@Thumperchick Or, at my house, you could just leave the box on the porch overnight and let the raccoons rip it open for you. (Of course, they might also make off with the knives.)
Zip, you are on your own.
What kind of wine do you like with your knife cereal?
What's your favorite way to use a knife?
Cut
Slice
Stab
Carve
Mutilate