@RiotDemon Right? When our family goes out to dinner, there are 10+ of us, and some of them order all these different craft beers, and tiny little glasses of scotch that cost a jillion dollars each, (but apparently that’s “a great price for ninety-eleven year old Smokefart Mcstankyteeth!” and more and more appetizers throughout the meal, and… and… yeah. Separate damn checks, dude.
@Yoda_Daenerys yes we do, as it’s a small token of our love and no we don’t resent buying our loved ones meals. Now that does mean that our relatives can’t expect receiving much of an inheritance though. BTW, we always pay for our kids vacations with us and their families meals with us on the vacations too.
@2many2no lol well I don’t know about that but I enjoy buying my parents meals or my sisters family a meal…we also always buy our kids and their families meals whenever they are with us.
i prefer to pay for everything, or have someone else in the family pay for everything. the politics involved in this in-law family struggle are endless.
It is so uncomfortable for me to split a bill, I will always cover unless someone else offers. It is always pretty even, if I cover once, someone else will get it next time.
Usually split it between the credit cards. But I’m careful not to do that if we’ve had wine/cocktails and the other party hasn’t. In that case I’ll usually cover it since the booze is often as much as the entire food bill.
pick a random older person (preferably with some genetic similarity to yourself)
approach them with a story about how they remind you of your Nana/PopPop or whatever term of endearment you choose.
explain that today is the anniversary of their demise.
explain that you REALLY miss them and it is especially hard today since this was one of their favorite restaurants.
explain that it would really mean a lot to you if they would call out to you saying “goodbye sonny” since that is what Nana/PopPop/whatever, always said whenever you left their presence.
walk to the front of the restaurant like you knew everything was fine, and when they call out ‘goodbye sonny’
tell the server you grandparents are picking up your check…
I have seen large groups, especially from the local Air Force base that will all throw in a card, and then have the server pick one randomly and that person picks up the tab. Kind of like that idea as it feels like it involves some gambling!
Otherwise, it depends on the group.
out with my kids/spouses/grandkids, we usually pick up the tab.
out with my parents we take turns, unless they are trying to repay us for taking the time to take them to a Dr appt etc. then we let them pay.
out with friends, kind of depends. Lots of times we will get separate checks, though even then lots of times we will pick up the appetizers or bottle of wine, but sometimes we will pick up the dinner/drink bill and they will pick up the show/play tix or whatever.
@chienfou I’ve participated in credit card roulette before, it was definitely entertaining for all involved (including the server).
Fortunately for me I was out with a group from my company and we all had expense cards, the only consequence for the “loser” was they had to file the expense report for the meal.
@chienfou Kind of a competition for most boring looking card. I’d use my plain grey Discover and not the Visa with the cruise ship on it or the Visa that’s half blue half transparent.
iOS users: Here’s another suggestion. I used to use this one a lot when I didn’t need to be so precise with splitting, but I just realized it’s been over a year since I’ve opened it.
If it’s with friends or co-workers, I ask before ordering to have separate checks. I hated trying to split it after the fact, and I don’t really carry cash anymore. Servers don’t seem to enjoy having to split it up at the end.
With my brother, he usually pays because he makes a lot more money than me. I still offer occasionally, but he always turns me down unless it’s for something cheap, like a couple of bagels.
As a former server, I can attest that splitting at the end can be a major hassle. It all depends on how the tickets are rung up. If it’s entered into a computer, a lot of the time you can’t charge a portion of it to one card, so you end up having to remove the cancel the original ticket, create each individual one, kill the kitchen orders, and then run the cards. Major hassle, often requiring a manager to approve it since this is often used as a method to skip paying for things (ie, if there is an appetizer and no one claims it or desserts that people split), and the customers are usually less than patient about it since they’re done and want to leave.
So glad I don’t work with the general public anymore.
@Mavyn Yeah, there is no reason that should be such a hassle on the staff. If you don’t let them know up front there is no way they can predict it.
You wouldn’t go to Walmart and buy a cart full of groceries then expect the cashier to break out different orders after she has already swiped the items over the barcode reader, would you?
@PocketBrain I tend to get the shaft on “split evenly” because the rest of the table splits a couple of bottles of wine while I just drink water. "Hey, you don’t mind paying for the privilege of being designated driver, do you?
@DrWorm Same here. I always volunteer as DD - I’m not a tea-totaler, but not-drinking doesn’t bother me. And although I like soft drinks, I weaned myself off of them many years ago, so I have water.
Even soft drinks might be pushing $3 now. I’ll pay for my own, thanks. Except, of course, like @chienfou says above, I always pay for the wife’s when she’s there.
@smyle of course, it’s a moot point at our house since her card is linked to my account, and all the payments come out of a joint account, but, being the chauvinist that I am I still use my card.
@chienfou I have two accounts. The one my entire day-job (and hers) goes into, and that’s where we make our budgets from. The other is from sidelines and moonlighting. That’s the “fun money” account, and while she has access to it at the bank, she doesn’t have a debit card for it. When we eat out, it’s almost always from the latter account.
@smyle We have one account that my check goes into, which pretty much covers everything. House and cars are paid for, so overhead is pretty low. Hers is used for travel, big expenses, and to put away in an IRA at tax time… like NOW!!
Typically, I go for separate checks. It honestly depends on where you’re eating. I know certain BOGO sushi joints don’t let you have separate checks so we then have to play the numbers game and calculate how much we each owe. The ONLY time I split evenly is if I’m with my close friends and we order a lot of dishes to share family style (usually at Chinese or Indian restaurants).
I’m secretly afraid of being the only one with a credit card while everyone else has cash, so I usually try to bring along enough cash to cover myself and my boyfriend (even if he ends up paying or we end up paying with a card).
@miraclewhispers I used to have the same phobia (being the only credit card user), but sometime this century the switched flipped on that. It seems nobody ever has cash any more.
@miraclewhispers My friends usually use cash, so I often end up paying with my cc and they give me the cash. That’s actually how I usually acquire pocket money, and I get cruise miles. But if seperate checks are an option I go that way, mostly because my many guy friends are uncomfortable with precisely sorting out who owes what. They just want to give me a $10 or $20 and be done with it. My small number of female friends want the correct number.
@moondrake I worked in a pizza place in Boulder during college and typically when guys split a bill and it was $17.59 one guy would take out a $10 and the other paid the balance. Females typically split it to the cent including which purchase pushed the bill to the next sales tax cutoff. Of course, this was not 100%, but certainly in the 85-90%+ range.
As for paying the bill and getting cash back from the other people I am good with that since my AMEX Delta miles take me all over creation…
If I invited them, I plan on paying. If they invited me, I plan on paying for my own meal, and will have enough cash with me in case they want to pay on their card.
I have a buddy that I go to the movies with about once a month. We’ve just kind of fallen into a system where we alternate buying the tickets, and the other pays for concessions. If we decide to meet for food/drinks before the movie, one person covers the meal and the other gets tickets and concessions.
If I’m out with close friends or family, it’s a fight for who gets to the bill first and we’ll typically cover for the group. With coworkers or acquaintances, I always go for separate checks.
@Nuurgle I vividly remember having to finagle the bill from the server to ‘beat’ my FIL at the “who gets the check” game. I would conveniently have to make a bathroom trip or something during the meal and would pre-arrange with the server that the check was MINE when it came (or pay it before he brought it to the table if it was at the end of the meal).
FIL always put up a fight, but I know he was secretly happy that I was responsible (and therefore a fitting mate for his daughter…)
@chienfou I’ve done that many times when out with my friend and mom. She’d do the driving every Saturday as we wandered all over creation to municipal gardens, garage sales and community events giving my mom an outing from the nursing home and carry the conversation with my mom as I am not great at small talk. She always wanted to pay her part of the bill but I am much more attentive to the movements of the server than anyone in my crowd and would hand him my credit card with no one the wiser. I’m always the one to get the server’s attention if someone needs something, it’s one of my superpowers.
When my dad and I go out to eat, we take turns. Last week was Dad’s turn and he got away with $5/person. If we go out tonight, this week’s special at the same location is $8/person and my turn to pay.
If it’s my brother and I, he usually pays even if I plan to. He makes around twice what I do though.
Well first I have to eat out. Haven’t done that in going on 5 years except if someone takes me out for my birthday and then I don’t pay because its my birthday. : )
@chienfou Limited funds so I have to make choices… in my opinion food is just food, don’t care that much one way or another although it is nice not to have to make it myself, but not nice enough to have to pay extra for that to happen. Other things I value more for the same amount of money so that influences my budget decisions. I have allocated $10/mo to spend on non-essentials - be it VMP, eating out (which I have not chosen), entrance into an art festival, movie… when it is gone it is gone. I have $5 left this month since I didn’t get a fuko LOL
@Kidsandliz after yesterday you might need to go by harbor freight and invest in a sump pump. Hope all your “stuff” stayed dry! just started getting rain here and it looks like it will be a good amount. Can use some for the plantings in the yard (think jungle of weeds right now, but easier to weed if it’s rained recently).
@chienfou I just came back from checking and it was dry although all the overflow ponds and ditches were overflowing a bit. Some areas of town are flooded and all the creeks and rivers are over their banks. If you get what we got you risk having your own private lake in your yard and/or living room.
(I personally have given certain contact information to certain non-relatives/“friends” after long periods of time, and even then I have cut some of those people off.)
The universe of personal relationships, operating outside the digitally mediated universe, is usually not.
Interesting, that when I write here about an aspect of human life that I claim is not, in mostly of its details and moments, mediated by the digital universe, I use digital measurements and expressions of fact. But a word must have some meaning, and not some other meaning.
@someRiverNoise@f00l friends sound complicated. I will stick to my kids and fish.
And chickens according to my kids if I ever get my new house.
/giphy facepalm
Do I have to formally invite @KittySprinkles to join us, or is it a given that she’s invited?
Things will probably get out of hand, so some adult supervision would be required. @Thumperchick - How does supervising mfladd and Kitty sprinkles sound?
@someRiverNoise I think @thumperchick’s real responsibility might be the “recording this for posterity and meh forum entertainment value”… supervision may be only with respect to the fiction of having a responsible adult present… : )
Separate checks.
@Pony seriously, how is this not an option?
@RiotDemon Right? When our family goes out to dinner, there are 10+ of us, and some of them order all these different craft beers, and tiny little glasses of scotch that cost a jillion dollars each, (but apparently that’s “a great price for ninety-eleven year old Smokefart Mcstankyteeth!” and more and more appetizers throughout the meal, and… and… yeah. Separate damn checks, dude.
I prefer someone else pays for my meal
@heartny
/youtube Geico alligator arms
We take turns covering it. (I usually only go out with the same people, so it all balances out)
Separate checks unless with family then we pick up the bill
@AttyVette like, always you pick it up? with no resentment?
@AttyVette So, you’re the only responsible person in your family too?
@Yoda_Daenerys yes we do, as it’s a small token of our love and no we don’t resent buying our loved ones meals. Now that does mean that our relatives can’t expect receiving much of an inheritance though. BTW, we always pay for our kids vacations with us and their families meals with us on the vacations too.
@2many2no lol well I don’t know about that but I enjoy buying my parents meals or my sisters family a meal…we also always buy our kids and their families meals whenever they are with us.
@AttyVette i’m with you on the kids, but siblings not so much. here is your
@AttyVette You interested in adopting any (nominally) adult kids?
@chienfou lol not now since I lost my job over a year ago but thanks anyways-- broke enough as it is
@Yoda_Daenerys and here’s back at ya friend
Tell the server you want separate checks when they seat you, and if they won’t get up and eat somewhere else.
Some other person grabs the check and insists on paying and makes a huge fuss, so everyone else lets them pay.
Depends on dining companions.
i prefer to pay for everything, or have someone else in the family pay for everything. the politics involved in this in-law family struggle are endless.
wait, what was the question?
It is so uncomfortable for me to split a bill, I will always cover unless someone else offers. It is always pretty even, if I cover once, someone else will get it next time.
@ConAndLibrarian curious, is it family or friends you speak of?
@Yoda_Daenerys Both.
Yeah, Google Wallet all the way!
I usually pay…
Usually split it between the credit cards. But I’m careful not to do that if we’ve had wine/cocktails and the other party hasn’t. In that case I’ll usually cover it since the booze is often as much as the entire food bill.
Head to the bathroom. Out the back door. Take only car.
I never claimed to be a role model.
@droopus another option is:
I have seen large groups, especially from the local Air Force base that will all throw in a card, and then have the server pick one randomly and that person picks up the tab. Kind of like that idea as it feels like it involves some gambling!
Otherwise, it depends on the group.
BTW that thing is a folio…
@chienfou
for that last line.
@chienfou I’ve participated in credit card roulette before, it was definitely entertaining for all involved (including the server).
Fortunately for me I was out with a group from my company and we all had expense cards, the only consequence for the “loser” was they had to file the expense report for the meal.
@chienfou Kind of a competition for most boring looking card. I’d use my plain grey Discover and not the Visa with the cruise ship on it or the Visa that’s half blue half transparent.
Use this app. This is a statement but also a request for you to do so.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/tab-the-simple-way-to-split-a-bill/id595068606?mt=8
I was going to make you Android people find this yourself, but I guess I’ll be nice.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.bring10.tab&utm_source=tab_website
iOS users: Here’s another suggestion. I used to use this one a lot when I didn’t need to be so precise with splitting, but I just realized it’s been over a year since I’ve opened it.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/splitwise-split-bills-and-expenses-the-easy-way/id458023433?mt=8
If it’s with friends or co-workers, I ask before ordering to have separate checks. I hated trying to split it after the fact, and I don’t really carry cash anymore. Servers don’t seem to enjoy having to split it up at the end.
With my brother, he usually pays because he makes a lot more money than me. I still offer occasionally, but he always turns me down unless it’s for something cheap, like a couple of bagels.
With my partner, we take turns.
As a former server, I can attest that splitting at the end can be a major hassle. It all depends on how the tickets are rung up. If it’s entered into a computer, a lot of the time you can’t charge a portion of it to one card, so you end up having to remove the cancel the original ticket, create each individual one, kill the kitchen orders, and then run the cards. Major hassle, often requiring a manager to approve it since this is often used as a method to skip paying for things (ie, if there is an appetizer and no one claims it or desserts that people split), and the customers are usually less than patient about it since they’re done and want to leave.
So glad I don’t work with the general public anymore.
@Mavyn Yeah, there is no reason that should be such a hassle on the staff. If you don’t let them know up front there is no way they can predict it.
You wouldn’t go to Walmart and buy a cart full of groceries then expect the cashier to break out different orders after she has already swiped the items over the barcode reader, would you?
Who voted for “Split Evenly”?
I’M NOT PAYING FOR YOUR GODDAMN LOBSTER!!!
@PocketBrain Just order two lobsters for yourself. Problem solved.
@PocketBrain I tend to get the shaft on “split evenly” because the rest of the table splits a couple of bottles of wine while I just drink water. "Hey, you don’t mind paying for the privilege of being designated driver, do you?
@DrWorm Same here. I always volunteer as DD - I’m not a tea-totaler, but not-drinking doesn’t bother me. And although I like soft drinks, I weaned myself off of them many years ago, so I have water.
Even soft drinks might be pushing $3 now. I’ll pay for my own, thanks. Except, of course, like @chienfou says above, I always pay for the wife’s when she’s there.
@smyle happy wife=happy life!
@smyle of course, it’s a moot point at our house since her card is linked to my account, and all the payments come out of a joint account, but, being the chauvinist that I am I still use my card.
@MrMark and then, to really make your point, ask for a doggie bag for the second… .
@chienfou I have two accounts. The one my entire day-job (and hers) goes into, and that’s where we make our budgets from. The other is from sidelines and moonlighting. That’s the “fun money” account, and while she has access to it at the bank, she doesn’t have a debit card for it. When we eat out, it’s almost always from the latter account.
@smyle We have one account that my check goes into, which pretty much covers everything. House and cars are paid for, so overhead is pretty low. Hers is used for travel, big expenses, and to put away in an IRA at tax time… like NOW!!
@PocketBrain
Typically, I go for separate checks. It honestly depends on where you’re eating. I know certain BOGO sushi joints don’t let you have separate checks so we then have to play the numbers game and calculate how much we each owe. The ONLY time I split evenly is if I’m with my close friends and we order a lot of dishes to share family style (usually at Chinese or Indian restaurants).
I’m secretly afraid of being the only one with a credit card while everyone else has cash, so I usually try to bring along enough cash to cover myself and my boyfriend (even if he ends up paying or we end up paying with a card).
@miraclewhispers I used to have the same phobia (being the only credit card user), but sometime this century the switched flipped on that. It seems nobody ever has cash any more.
@DrWorm I’ve noticed that too. Now in the age of separete checks, I’m oftentimes the only one who pays with cash.
@miraclewhispers My friends usually use cash, so I often end up paying with my cc and they give me the cash. That’s actually how I usually acquire pocket money, and I get cruise miles. But if seperate checks are an option I go that way, mostly because my many guy friends are uncomfortable with precisely sorting out who owes what. They just want to give me a $10 or $20 and be done with it. My small number of female friends want the correct number.
@moondrake I worked in a pizza place in Boulder during college and typically when guys split a bill and it was $17.59 one guy would take out a $10 and the other paid the balance. Females typically split it to the cent including which purchase pushed the bill to the next sales tax cutoff. Of course, this was not 100%, but certainly in the 85-90%+ range.
As for paying the bill and getting cash back from the other people I am good with that since my AMEX Delta miles take me all over creation…
If I invited them, I plan on paying. If they invited me, I plan on paying for my own meal, and will have enough cash with me in case they want to pay on their card.
I have a buddy that I go to the movies with about once a month. We’ve just kind of fallen into a system where we alternate buying the tickets, and the other pays for concessions. If we decide to meet for food/drinks before the movie, one person covers the meal and the other gets tickets and concessions.
If I’m out with close friends or family, it’s a fight for who gets to the bill first and we’ll typically cover for the group. With coworkers or acquaintances, I always go for separate checks.
@Nuurgle I vividly remember having to finagle the bill from the server to ‘beat’ my FIL at the “who gets the check” game. I would conveniently have to make a bathroom trip or something during the meal and would pre-arrange with the server that the check was MINE when it came (or pay it before he brought it to the table if it was at the end of the meal).
FIL always put up a fight, but I know he was secretly happy that I was responsible (and therefore a fitting mate for his daughter…)
@chienfou I’ve done that many times when out with my friend and mom. She’d do the driving every Saturday as we wandered all over creation to municipal gardens, garage sales and community events giving my mom an outing from the nursing home and carry the conversation with my mom as I am not great at small talk. She always wanted to pay her part of the bill but I am much more attentive to the movements of the server than anyone in my crowd and would hand him my credit card with no one the wiser. I’m always the one to get the server’s attention if someone needs something, it’s one of my superpowers.
When my dad and I go out to eat, we take turns. Last week was Dad’s turn and he got away with $5/person. If we go out tonight, this week’s special at the same location is $8/person and my turn to pay.
If it’s my brother and I, he usually pays even if I plan to. He makes around twice what I do though.
I don’t. When I go out with my friends to eat, one person pays the bill.
The black “thing” is referred to by restaurant workers as a ‘book’.
That is totally why I got married…husband pays! Not my problem how the check gets split!
Well first I have to eat out. Haven’t done that in going on 5 years except if someone takes me out for my birthday and then I don’t pay because its my birthday. : )
@Kidsandliz Wow, that’s a long time…
@chienfou Limited funds so I have to make choices… in my opinion food is just food, don’t care that much one way or another although it is nice not to have to make it myself, but not nice enough to have to pay extra for that to happen. Other things I value more for the same amount of money so that influences my budget decisions. I have allocated $10/mo to spend on non-essentials - be it VMP, eating out (which I have not chosen), entrance into an art festival, movie… when it is gone it is gone. I have $5 left this month since I didn’t get a fuko LOL
@Kidsandliz after yesterday you might need to go by harbor freight and invest in a sump pump. Hope all your “stuff” stayed dry! just started getting rain here and it looks like it will be a good amount. Can use some for the plantings in the yard (think jungle of weeds right now, but easier to weed if it’s rained recently).
@chienfou I just came back from checking and it was dry although all the overflow ponds and ditches were overflowing a bit. Some areas of town are flooded and all the creeks and rivers are over their banks. If you get what we got you risk having your own private lake in your yard and/or living room.
I am guessing this requires friends?
@mfladd
Uh huh. Or family. Or co-workers. Or people who are willing to sit down at a table with you.
You’re short on all those options, I gather?
@mfladd
How about we go see a movie together and use a valid and activated credit card belonging to @f00l? She wouldn’t mind (or notice).
@someRiverNoise
Would you really wanna be seen with @mfladd?
What makes you think I have an identity worth stealing?
@f00l
@someRiverNoise
You’ve outed me.
@f00l
I know
stuphstuff.@someRiverNoise
I know some stuffph.
@f00l
Well I know some stuff such as phone numbers which would be of help to the right people.
Of course, I know other stuff, just throwing the above it there.
@someRiverNoise
Some people were given some stuff in trust.
@f00l
Talk about a complicated word…
(I personally have given certain contact information to certain non-relatives/“friends” after long periods of time, and even then I have cut some of those people off.)
@someRiverNoise
Tricky biz.
Sometimes it’s the right thing to share your life at some points in time and not at others.
The digital universe is all about either/or
(cf Kierkegaard)
https://smile.amazon.com/Either-Fragment-Life-Penguin-Classics-ebook/dp/B002RI9D24/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1491113963&sr=1-1&keywords=either%2For
The universe of personal relationships, operating outside the digitally mediated universe, is usually not.
Interesting, that when I write here about an aspect of human life that I claim is not, in mostly of its details and moments, mediated by the digital universe, I use digital measurements and expressions of fact. But a word must have some meaning, and not some other meaning.
Either/Or
Is/Is Not
I’ll let it be as is. For now.
Antigone with the dead Polynices
@someRiverNoise @f00l friends sound complicated. I will stick to my kids and fish.
And chickens according to my kids if I ever get my new house.
/giphy facepalm
@mfladd
Eh. I’d be content with just fish.
Upkeep is cheap (by comparison), and they don’t cause messes or induce headaches.
@mfladd
Ask you kids how to get some friends.
We all know you dig pathos.
@mfladd
@mikibell
Our future VP.
@mikibell When it comes to my kids I truly am. I try not spoil them, and appreciate everything - But your picture rings true.
@mfladd
Make up your mind (and prove that you have one).
Are you a doting and dedicated father?
Are you a pathetic whiner?
Both?
@mfladd I have the same tattoo…
Just I have NEVER considered chickens… nope, no way! not ever!
@mikibell You forget where I live. Chicken capitol!
@f00l I am a paradox.
@mfladd
more like a Dox A Pear.
/giphy pear
@f00l
@mfladd
Do I have to formally invite @KittySprinkles to join us, or is it a given that she’s invited?
Things will probably get out of hand, so some adult supervision would be required.
@Thumperchick - How does supervising mfladd and Kitty sprinkles sound?
@someRiverNoise fantastic! As long as I am not actually responsible for the outcome.
@Thumperchick
So it would just be supervision? No intervention?
@someRiverNoise I think @thumperchick’s real responsibility might be the “recording this for posterity and meh forum entertainment value”… supervision may be only with respect to the fiction of having a responsible adult present… : )
@Kidsandliz
With 4 mehmbers having access to a 5th mehmbers credit card, what entertainment could there possibly be for the forum?
@someRiverNoise
Could I come also?