I have one sister who is broke and makes her interests very known, so only challenge is coordinating so no one doubles up. The other is rich, hobbyless, and shrugs when asked what she wants. She is the trifecta of awful. So since she once mentioned a love of unicorns, if she gives me nothing, she gets a new unicorn. Last year, it was bigger than her. This year, I hand carved a tiny one out of wood.
My SPOUSE. Not even close. It doesn’t help that her bday is freaking Nov. 27 so I have TWO important gift traditional days in a month! Of course growing up her parents often combined her bday and Xmas so I can’t do that because, dammit, she’s the best thing ever whether born on July 9 or on a day that every couple years is also US Thanksgiving! She deserves her bday just being her bday, too!
No bs nor hyperbole at all, I start getting gray hair annually starting in October. No other time of year. My first gray hair was 24 years ago, her bday the first time we were together. Every year since I start sprouting gray hairs from Oct to the end of Dec. The rest of the year none.
@Clumber My mom’s bd was Christmas Eve. Her last birthday, I got her a stack of fun, happy movies that I knew she’d never buy for herself (like Disney’s Fanstasia…she loved that movie!) and some books, and for Christmas I got her a fluffy twin blanket for her to wrap up in while she watched them and read her books.
She passed away Feb. 5 right after that (a little over a month later), but my stepdad said she loved to snuggle in her blanket and watch the movies.
Get her something she’ll enjoy. A bidet? um… maybe for Christopher Columbus day or something. lol
@Tadlem43 I am sorry about your mom and I am so glad she got to enjoy what you gave her at least for a while. And she probably thought of you each time she enjoyed her presents. The year my dad died I gave him his christmas present at Thanksgiving (knowing he might not live to Christmas) and he got to enjoy it for 2 weeks. I am so glad I gave it to him early.
@Kidsandliz It’s never easy, but seems so much worse during holidays. My mom had a stroke on 12/23, spent Christmas in the hospital and died in hospice on 12/29. That was a rough Christmas (18 years ago - I am at peace with it).
@Kidsandliz@macromeh@Clumber@Tadlem43 I may come across as callous and unfeeling in my comments but I assure you they are strictly tongue-in-cheek. Live every day as if it was your last and make sure you have settled any conflicts and are at peace with God. As the Bible says: Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.
Brother. He’s very practical and does a lot of research into the things he spends money on. Gag gifts go over well with him but buying a serious gift always gives me the feeling it wouldn’t be quite what he would have chosen were he buying it himself.
My husband and his parents. His parents are much wealthier than us and so they buy him a shitton of stuff and anything I give them they return. 27 years of this. And anything I speak of maybe buying for my husband they buy him so he returns my gifts. Got smart though, for the past 3 years now I say I don’t know what to get him. I was actually able to get him something he kept.
I’d have to say my cousin’s brother’s mom’s sister in law’s uncle’s aunt’s step child.
We try to include everyone in gift giving, even if he doesn’t show to the family events…it’s like he doesn’t think he’s in our family.
@sanpaolo45 Yeah our family does the give to everyone over multiple generations too. Gets really hard (and expensive) as the numbers grow and first hand knowledge of interests may not really be known. It is really sort of getting out of hand at this point with 27 people to buy for, of which my niece’s wife had the best idea every one year - she bought everyone lottery scratch off cards. She got off cheap and someone even won $10. The rest of us were losers LOL.
This year the entire lot of them, except the little kids, are getting those monster screen cleaners that were sold here multiple times for, finally, roughly $1 each (Actually several years running I have managed to take care of christmas for everyone with meh and really cheapo things, outside of irks 98% of what I buy here is for birthday and christmas presents since usually they offer something I can get in enough bulk and cheap enough). My mom and my kid are getting something else in addition. The little kids are getting something age appropriate and some books from the stash I picked up at a huge consignment sale on half price day. They love books.
@kittykat9180 I would make exceptions for a significant other just cause… Symbolism and society and a whole payload of other things if it mattered to them.
I think it’s weird my siblings think we need Christmas presents and do a draw to see who gets who. I recused myself from that years ago… It seems pointless and my mother always had to tell me what they might like and… Gift cards were sometimes involved… Both directions…
@kittykat9180 goes down the same sort of road. You know someone by having experiences together. If you don’t know someone you don’t know what to get them. If they are hundreds of miles away and your just meh in general… Eh…
I’ll own the antisocial. I don’t think I’m a prick but that’s not up to me to judge lol
My wife, too. She doesn’t like jewelry, nor chocolate (much), nor “decorative” stuff. Doesn’t have any hobbies. She doesn’t like “stuff” in general. She isn’t a cook (I am), and wouldn’t consider household things to be gifts anyway. We almost always buy fresh flowers for around the house, anyway.
I am really in trouble when I get in trouble; can’t buy my way out of it!
@wambut, your wife sounds a lot like me. Except I love cooking—already have a fully stocked kitchen though.
Unless someone wants to gift me a $1,000 plane ticket to Europe, there’s not much I want or need.
A friend did get me tickets to the ballet once, probably the best gift I’ve ever received.
@kittykat9180 Travel is what she loves. (Me, too, but I still like “stuff.”) She, though, is the travel arranger. It is not a burden to her; she spends hours looking at places, hotels, and restaurants. She loves the planning as much as the actual travel. Really. (The “Bug” is damping that considerably, though she has found some wonderfully secluded cabins we have visited safely. I am typing this in one of them.)
So my burden is also my great joy, as we get to spend wonderful time together in travel. However, just getting “something to open” on Xmas, birthday, anniversary is still a chore.
@wambut I bet you could absolutely blow her socks off if one year you actually had time to plan one of those trips unexpected. And work it around what you think she/you would like. And maybe leave some down time/gaps for her to fill in if she’s better at it.
Something about getting involved vs passively? Idk. Just a thought.
Brother-In-law. Has all the burden of buying for a sibling, combined with the familiarity of an almost complete stranger. Even after two decades, I don’t really know him at all. On top of that, if you ask him what his hobbies are, he will say he doesn’t have any.
My husband. If I try to get creative and buy him something he wouldn’t have thought of, he feigns polite interest and then never looks at it again. So I usually end up buying something from his wishlist, which is boring and usually not enough of a gift.
My wife and I each make wish lists. At this point, after decades of marriage (and accumulation), anything we might want for our hobbies/interests are so specific that the gift giver would have little chance of getting something actually useful/appreciated without strong hints. Compounding the problem, my birthday is only two weeks before Christmas. This year I saw something I wanted on sale online and bought it for myself, declaring it my birthday present. Works for us.
No one. Buy couple things on meh before Thanksgiving, put a number on each, put their names in a hat, number one gets whatever has the meh thing I put number one on. And so on. They get no say whatsoever in what they get. I just tell them if they don’t like it, they can return it to meh. (Yeah, right…)
The only issue is whether what I buy is gonna get to me by 24 December.
@UncleVinny After listening to all those Christmas carols about a newborn trying to sleep on the cold hay among the farm animals, I always thought a blanket might have been a more thoughtful gift than shiny metal, incense or perfume. Wise men my ass!