Guys weigh in please
11Valentine’s day , been dating about 6 months .
What would you expect?
What would you want?
Is there any good way to get a very traditional man to avoid the rose chocolate obnoxiousness without hurting his feelings?
Any good way to avoid Valentine’s all together?
Guy gift idea?
- 18 comments, 13 replies
- Comment
Damn, thought this was a work out thread.
https://www.amazon.com/Star-Wars-Valentines-Shaped-Valentine/dp/B00SZAM0U0?th=1
The thing is, it really depends on the person.
The best answer you’re going to get is from the person you’re buying stuff for.
We talking Millennial guy or regular guy? (sorry you Millennials LOL)
@reg036 not millennial he is low 50s
@CaptAmehrican I’d bring up the day in casual talk and like said below, mention your not really into it all so he is aware. A simple card and maybe a home cooked meal would probably be more appreciated (Steak is a great choice). Us pre-80’s born guys really don’t expect much IMHO.
Ok not a guy here.
But … Val is on a Thursday those year.
Do your both have the same days off?
How about making a suggestion to him? Instead of hearts and flowers and cologne and all that, how about you two decide on a weekend (whatever"weekend" is for you to) where you do something fun and kinda special that you both enjoy?
Civil War or Revolutionary War battlegrounds?
Sailing?
Drive thru the Shenandoah Valley?
B&B?
Visit a Naval Base?
Something to to with media or games you both like?
Spelunking or hiking?
Drive far enough South to feel warm and then walk in the beach?
Agree in advance.
Then you if you get him something or he gets you something “extra”, or will prob be tiny and inexpensive.
Just avoid fancy restaurants on that day, unless you really want that experience. They mark everything up.
Sensual touches. It’s cliche, I know, but men do like the intimate times. Drop a hint early in the day (maybe via a card or something) as to what is about to go down later. The anticipation is great. Optionally, buy some special undies or something to make the occasion stand-out from other times.
Even if you’re saving yourself until marriage, you can still plan a special back rub or other physical contact that would be welcomed and enjoyed by most guys. More so than chocolates and flowers.
Otherwise, buy him some alcohol and surprise him with that. Guys (who drink) like it when ladies buy them beer or whiskey.
Edit: Oh, and drop the hint now that you’re not into traditional things like flowers and chocolates. Most guys will not have their feelings hurt if you tell them in advance. If, however, you wait until after he gives them to you…that’s another story. Mention something about Valentine’s coming up then say, “I’ve never been into roses and such…I like more practical things like _______”.
I would just mention that Valentines is not my favorite holiday.
Say you would rather celebrate Groundhog Day, or Yachting season opening day, or whatever. Ask what is his favorite holiday, and make a deal to celebrate then.
Suggestions:
Feb 18 is National Drink Wine Day
Feb 20 is Hoodie Hoo Day - ?
and Feb 28 is Rare Disease Day.
I can imagine the party now.
@kdemo Nothing says Groundhog Day like a small household appliance!
Nothing.
The usual.
I don’t know.
Make plans for something not Valentine’s day related on February 14.
Beer.
/giphy goat Valentine’s goat
@eonfifty I mean. I’d watch a goat escape by riding a donkey any day.
@unksol
Seems like that would be more fun than a made up specialized-holiday celebration
/image Valentine goat
I had a partner once make me a book of her favorite memories with me. It was cute and funny, and easily my favorite Valentines gift ever.
Just be honest and tell him that. Also setting a price limit could help. Take him to a concert. He buys dinner , you do the tickets. It’s about spending time together. Not about the money spent
I’m a guy, and I can tell you that the single most categorically wonderful thing you can do for your guy is to tell him that Valentines day is a contrived bullshit pretend holiday, and that you would greatly prefer to just ignore it, which is at best all that fuckery of a “holiday” deserves.
This is different from trying to politely let him know that it’s ok for him to forego making a traditional big deal. Guys see that as a bit of a quagmire, and feel like they should do something anyway, because they’re guys and feel a need to try and be awesome.
The very best gift you can give a guy is to de-bullshit things. Especially Valentines day.
You will so get laid if you do that.
@shahnm Exactly. Without any guarantee. Made up “holiday”, after all!
@shahnm Spot on. PITA “holiday”. My spouse and I skip it overall. V-cards to just show we appreciate each other, and usually dinner out post V-day so its not rushed, slammed, noisy etc.
I’d love it if I didn’t have to go buy a stupid bunch of dead flowers & stare at the thousands of pink Valentine’s Day cards to buy that ‘special one’…
Luckily, my wife did let me know that she’s not interested in the whole thing. I do take her out to a lunch or dinner and maybe some smoochy stuff.
Both of us were happier.
Make it clear that you want activity rather than stuff. I think the idea of “we do this together” rather than “we get each other stuff” is pretty cool, and more romantic than candy and flowers and junk. 50 ish man here.
Mmm, unless you’re trying to broadcast “high maintenance” I’d be careful about specifying gifts for occasions like Valentine’s Day. Christmas or your birthday, sure.
But I’ll bet if you tell him you’d like an $8 viscose pashmina more than all the chocolate and flowers in the world, you could probably get away with it!
(50++ man here.)
Or beef jerky! NOW you’ve got Valentine’s Day covered!
I like mancrates.com personally. There’s a little something for everyone. They will even gift wrap it in duct tape.
(Assuming he’s a normal, healthy guy) Keep it simple: invite him over, greet him at the door naked and let nature take its course from there. Maybe have a sandwich ready for later when he wakes up.
@macromeh lol…
Thank you.
Valentine’s Day is for the chicks.
Guys don’t want anything (but maybe what you mentioned and bacon in the sandwich).
Really. I’d not expect/want any form of Valentine’s gift whatsoever.
@daveinwarsh @macromeh
/image March 14th steak and BJ day
When it comes to guys… We prefer actions to gifts.
Read that as you wish.
@OnionSoup
/giphy action
Not a dude, but I’d like to weigh in here anyway.
Ask him if Valentine’s is important to him. If not, you can tell him that you’re not into it either and skip off into the non-commercial sunset however you wish.
If he is into it - then ask what about the holiday stands out to him and try to celebrate that.
Got my kid a plushie thing and a couple blind bag toys. Got my wife a coffee mug with plushie in it. Wife will use the mug and my kid will think it’s cute that mommy got a plushie too. I plan to color some Daniel the Tiger cards with my kid and give those to wife. I’ll also color one separately to give to the kid (kid used to love that show as a baby and wife still thinks of the show fondly due to memories)
Usually don’t do flowers, but she did start new job recently… probably should send some to make the other gals mad jelly…
Been together 34 years now. We had been married a couple of months when our first Valentines rolled around, so I didn’t get anything. Those days stopped when we said “I do”.
(But the six months we dated, he swept me off of my feet. Diamond earrings after our first date, not little ones (right now my fave earrings are tiny 1/4 carat CZs, four in one lobe, three in the other) and dozens of roses each Friday. I think the plethora of roses, was in fact, a little nose thumbing at the other women I worked with. (Go for it @medz…))
I quit rubbing his feet, so I guess we were even.
Now, it’s just another day. Mehbe I might make spaghetti for dinner. He likes spaghetti.