Goat Day #20: Alexa, Clean my butthole

@mfladd

Jerky Alexa: Boom, you’re nachos

@lichme Actually, I just tried it and I don’t even get a generic answer - just silence. Boooo! They need to add some spice to Alexa.

@lichme @mfladd she tried to give me 25 different recipes for nachos, including nachos bolognese and redneck nachos

@nolrak Tried it - Alexa, that’s what she said; “but, I don’t think that’s what she meant’” Boooooo!

@mfladd along with a weird picture of a thumb balloon coming out of a book with trees and mountains

@mfladd @nolrak I tried Google.
“I’m always inspired by the words of wise women, here’s a quote…” Insert random quote here.

@therealjrn who doesn’t, really

@therealjrn also, that’s what she said

@therealjrn who doesn’t? But that’s just wrong.

@therealjrn That’s what a bidet is for.

I got a pair on the BBC-70 2-fer-Tuesday deal.

@mehcuda67 “Echo, increase bidet water jet power by 30% and set bidet water temperate to 95 degrees. Echo, activate butt power wash.”

@mehcuda67 It’ll have a bluetooth speaker built in and sing you a happy potty song for being a big boy or girl.

@MagnaVis @medz Funny, but so plausible!
Kickstarter bait?

@Fuzzalini I love 70’s Funk. Share that playlist.

@Fuzzalini @Joy823 me too

@Joy823 See if this works: https://www.pandora.com/station/1783819925096348387
Listening to Cisco Kid right now…

@Limewater Are you getting rid of your smart phone that has the same capability?

@raccoon81 No.

However, I do have OK Google, voice commands, and speech-to-text disabled on my phone. I generally keep my data connection off as well, unless I am actively using it. I also don’t actually keep my phone near me all that much. I miss virtually every call I get unless I know I’m expecting a work call.

There is also a meaningful distinction in microphone quality and tuning. A phone is meant for close-up communication and optimized for size. A smart home device typically has more space to use, a larger microphone, and can collect audio in your home more easily.

But I do feel there is a meaningful distinction between having hardware that could potentially be hacked by a someone malicious and intentionally keeping an always-on listening device running in one’s home.

@Limewater @raccoon81
One can also get one of these for your phone for $7. Other than unplugging the Alexa/google home device, no similar “cone of silence” exists, and unplugging one device doesn’t turn off all your home surveillance devices (except maybe your home’s router/ISP connection).

Mic-Lock - Blocks Audio Hacking on Computers, Tablets and Smart Phones https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LPQJGA2

@mike808 @raccoon81 Yeah, those are a good additional barrier. I believe the overstate their efficacy, though. These days, the mic input selection is generally software-based. A device is detected and so the software selects the input, rather than a physical switch inside the jack forcing the input. This does still leave openings for malicious code to override the setting.

@jst1ofknd don’t want to rule how you use the forum, but it gets confusing when the comments collapse if you don’t use the reply arrow. Sometimes it looks like people are just talking to themselves.

@RiotDemon

No you are correct. I know how to use the comments and have been using them correctly for several days. For some reason today my fingers don’t know how to do a reply. Case of Mondays I think.

@RiotDemon

Which (come to think of it) started last night…

@jst1ofknd
/image Garfield Mondays

@jst1ofknd @RiotDemon wait, people arent just talking to themselves?

@jst1ofknd @RiotDemon Why does Garfield care about Mondays??? He’s a cat, he doesn’t have job.

@Fuzzalini maybe it has something to do with Jon working Monday-Friday? Disrupts his preferred feeding schedule?

@Fuzzalini @RiotDemon Garfield cares about Monday because the restaurant he orders lasagna from is closed.

@mike808 @RiotDemon Actually, I said this because there was once a “Maybe it bothers me more than it should” video by Irk that was about Garfield and Mondays.

@Fuzzalini @mike808 ah, thanks!

@brandom

Yale smart lock.

What’s with a lock which did not attend an Ivy League school?

@brandom @PlacidPenguin I heard that this is the lock that Henry Louis Gates Jr. had on the front door of his house. It was all a bit of Ivy League ribaldry that went horribly awry.

@brandom

*What about a lock

@PlacidPenguin would never consider a lock like that.

@brandom @PlacidPenguin Me neither. As a matter of security redundancy, I have physical “dumb” barriers (like deadbolts and window locks) on top of “smart” barriers. (like cameras, motion detectors, and entry alarms)

@medz The thing I dislike most about “smart” locks is the lack of a 2x keyed deadbolt. In regards to dumb barriers, if someone does make it into my house (or, rather, in my experience when someone is in my house) I do not wish to facilitate their ability to back up to the garage or front door and conveniently load all my crap into their windowless white pedovan. There are no smart locks which cannot be unlocked from the inside.

@ruouttaurmind how you gonna get out if there is a fire? Better leave the key in it.

@medz I have 2x keyed deadbolts now. When I’m home I leave my keys oh a hook near the door, when I leave I grab the keys and lock the door behind me. I can’t leave the keys in the lock because there’s a sidelight window next to the door which could be broken and reached through to unlock the door.

@ruouttaurmind

How far is the window from the door?

@PlacidPenguin it’s a small window that runs from the floor to the top of the door along side the door jamb. Similar to this, but only on one side:

@ruouttaurmind

I see.

I also see that whoever is the owner of that door is not a full fan of windows, though they like shades.

---

Errr…

What would stop somebody from digging their way into that house though?

@PlacidPenguin The steel beam on each side of the window.

@ruouttaurmind

Firstly, I meant underneath the door.

Secondly, you seem to know some stuff about the door in that picture…

@PlacidPenguin I was speaking about my particular door. It has a tubular steel frame around the door and window. The pictured door might have a steel frame, might be wood, could be a composite.

RE: digging under the door, it’s a 6” concrete slab foundation on the inside and a 4” concrete slab on the outside. If someone wants in that badly they’re more likely to just smash a window, or beat through a wall with an axe, sledgehammer or just drive a vehicle through a wall.

@ruouttaurmind

In that case, just leave your door wide open. This way you’d avoid property damage.

@PlacidPenguin But I increase the likelihood of personal property loss. I’ve had enough burglars in my house to satisfy my lifetime quota.

@ruouttaurmind

@ruouttaurmind This reminds me of the story a fireman told us after there was a fire next door. He noticed we had a keyed deadbolt and we just left the key in the door because it was a pain. He noticed the key and said “Oh, that’s good you’re using the key, I can’t tell you how many people we’ve found dead inside the front door because they had keyed deadbolts and in the panic of trying to get out, they couldn’t find the key.”

@daveinwarsh

@MrHappypants It’s a combination of Samsung SmartThings Hub + Multipurpose Sensor (set to garage mode), and a 3rd party addon to SmartThings called WebCoRE

@lichme Ahhhhh, ok. Looks like I gotta buy a new toy and start experimenting. Thx!