Fuku: The Crushing Guilt

23

All of these people lamenting their fuku failures makes it so hard to enjoy my success.

I don't live on the yucky East coast ==> I'm a spoiled brat with an unfair advantage.

I'm relatively vampiric with my sleep/wake patterns ==> I'm a lazy bum with an unfair advantage. I need to contribute to society by getting a soul-crushing job that makes me get up in the early morning.

My purchase went through this time instead of resulting in an oops/sellout message ==> I finally got popular enough to make the mediocre employees toggle me over to the super-secret fuku-eligible list that enables my purchase to go through! Unfair advantage.

Hahaha! No.

I'm sad for some of you, but I'm enjoying the fact that I don't hate everyone right now.


(Sorry, guys. I'm usually a nice person.)