Found my IRK Burglar.
38Neighbor of mine walked by with an IRK bag, asked em about it (I told them they were lucky to get a rare buy from Mediocre) and they sort of dodged and seemed super uncomfortable about it.
So my revenge will start today.
I am gathering up doggie poo and I’ll put it in a Meh box outside my door with tons of loose glitter for when burglar comes by so they will get what the deserve. Some very pretty sh*t.
- 14 comments, 32 replies
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Can’t say this plan is undeserved.
Solid plan. I would suggest two boxes: The outer shipping box, with a smaller one (box #2, so to speak) packed inside with the “contents”, and with the bottom just loose enough that it will give way when lifted out.
@rockblossom I absolutely LOVE this plan! I will do that!
@rockblossom the trap is set!!!
@mikesmells
@mikesmells @rockblossom
Do you have a camera set up so you can watch? I sure do hope so, and please do share it with us!
There’s no kill like overkill.
I have done several dog poop decoy boxes. They have been stolen in the past. They are no longer stealing my packages.
Too bad we can’t see when they open it
and how stupid to show off the bag, like the one thing you’ll know that’s yours.
Not sure if this helps but…
3 pounds of poop. Safe for Work for those looking.
@Targaryen This is better.
https://www.poopsenders.com/
@Targaryen That cow poop says it’s aged a whole year. At that point it’s not the disgusting, smelly mess that you’re wanting for a revenge box.
(also, it’s horrendously overpriced, IMO, though I’ve never had to buy fertilizer in that form)
@Targaryen @xobzoo I didn’t know I was sitting on a goldmine! My dog is a veritable poop factory, and it’s plenty stinky.
@Targaryen @yakkoTDI
That’s what I was thinking of! Never saw a better time or need for using it!
Add some ballast so the package has ‘heft’ and feels more valuable
If the package disappears, it might not be the same porch pirate. In my experience, there’s a better than even chance that FX left it at the wrong house - and they don’t provide a photo the way that Amazon sometimes does. This does not excuse the neighbor’s failure to bring it over to you if that is what happened.
@werehatrack Whether it’s a different porch pirate, or an asshole neighbor that keeps a package that they know isn’t theirs, the karma fits just as well…
@shahnm Indeed it does.
@werehatrack Fedex started taking pics around here recently, one was of my meh package at some random house, Fedex was like…oh…but it says we delivered it. They then proceeded to ask me if I was sure my brown house wasn’t the white and gray one barely visible in the pic. Next pic they took was literally of the label on the box, could see NOTHING but the box.
@cchalogamer @werehatrack
Obviously common sense wasn’t required when applying for the job! Lol 
Yeah Walmart just delivered my 3 boxes of 38lbs of kitty litter to somewhere on the side of my street. That’s exactly what the picture shows, the driver’s front windshield as she’s driving down my road.
Someone stole one of your IRKs?? Is this a follow-up thread? Did I miss the beginning?
That person certainly is a turd and stupid besides. Some years ago on meh there was a thread about glitter bombs and using those for porch pirates. Googling them it looks like several places sell different kinds.
Oh wait. I missed the video above on the glitter bombs. Wouldn’t have posted if I had read the thread carefully. Oops.
IRK vs. box of turds… what’s the difference, again?
@macromeh you get a bag in an Irk!!!
@macromeh @tinamarie1974
… And no glitter…
@chienfou @macromeh @tinamarie1974 not true, ive gotten irks with glitter covered “phrases” for hanging on the wall, got glitter everywhere.
@andrewx29 @macromeh @tinamarie1974
@andrewx29 @chienfou @macromeh I need to watch that show!!
@tinamarie1974
if you like sci-fi, it’s a great show!
@chienfou I do, and I like Nathan Fillion,
so win win!!!
@tinamarie1974
Good deal. It was sharply written and a creative story line and world building project. Full of quirky characters and fun story lines.
@chienfou @tinamarie1974
I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I will end you.
@andrewx29 @chienfou @tinamarie1974 The Firefly TV series is currently streaming (for free) on Tubi.
Also the follow-on movie, Serenity, is available on various streaming services.
@andrewx29 @macromeh @tinamarie1974
It’s definitely worth a watch.
@andrewx29 @chienfou @macromeh also free on (checks notes) Hulu. Ive tried two or three times to watch the first episode and something always steals my attention. I just need to focus! Lol.
Did NOT know Serenity was related. Checking notes again and adding to my list!
@andrewx29 @chienfou @tinamarie1974 Incidently, Joss Whedon intended the Firefly TV episode Serenity to be the series’ premier, but the network programmers decided to air The Train Job first, with the Serenity episode aired later in the series. I prefer Whedon’s orginally intended order - Serenity provides some background for the characters and setting. YMMV.
@macromeh @tinamarie1974
For clarity: Serenity is the (proper) first episode of the TV series. Serenity is also the name of the movie which takes place after the end of the TV series and (mostly) completes the story.
@macromeh @rockblossom so it would be beneficial for me to watch the serenity episode first, then start w episode 1?
@tinamarie1974 Where are you planning to watch? I checked Hulu, Amazon, and Tubi, and they all have them in proper order with Serenity listed as Episode 1.
@rockblossom @tinamarie1974 That is my preferred viewing order. It provides some background to give context to the remaining episodes. Then finish up with the Serenity movie.
Good to know that the streamers have them in the originally intended order. I have the DVD set of the TV series and they are in the order that they were originally broadcast (i.e., the Serenity TV episode is not episode 1).
For some odd reason, the Plex software cannot find the episode info for the Firefly TV series on the DVD set. My other media SW packages find the info without a problem.
@macromeh @rockblossom @tinamarie1974 Absolutely watch the Serenity movie last. It’s the payoff of some stuff in the series.
BTW: Firefly is the name of the ship class (its butt lights up), Serenity is the name of our hero’s ship.
Be sure to let us know how the project turns out; video of the perp if you’ve got a cam in position.
@werehatrack
I wish I still had my Xbox box from that irk to donate to your cause. That would give the thief the appropriate rise of excitement to make sure that it’s opened with haste.
A thought occurred – do you have any extra TrackR trackers to stick on the box? It could make add to a good scare tactic too, even though we all know they’re beyond worthless.