Meh Official Fantasy Football 2016

@hollboll I have no idea, but will give it a shot!

@hollboll That’s me!

@hollboll Even though I somehow won last year I feel like a beginner, but move me up to intermediate if you have to.

@sammydog01 @joelmw @hollboll
Joelmw said HE won the “weak little beginner league” - which is it?

@compunaut @joelmw won beginner A and I won beginner B. So there.

@sammydog01 I’ll join whatever league ur in

@hollboll I’ll give it a whirl at beginner level.

@spcial_snwflake Hey @hollboll meet Sammydog Jr. Hope it’s OK.

@hollboll I’m back for another season!

@hollboll so what are the requirements for this? do i have to do anything? or do i just sat back and watch the money roll in while laughing maniacally?

/giphy maniacal laugh

@carl669 I do hope you’re in my league!

@sammydog01
I’m sure you’re way outa my league
/image way out of my league

@hollboll
All you beginners who aren’t really beginners (1st or 2nd season) are huge wussies. Just sayin’.

@compunaut
/giphy blush

@f00l You calling out anyone in particular?

@sammydog01
Know, I don’t know anyone’s history.

Just hoping someone here is a wuss, 'cause pretending I have justification for baseless accusations is so much fun.

@f00l You’re gonna be so good at trash talking! Yay! Last year I wound up trash talking to myself.

@carl669 if you’re in my league, absolutely that’s how you play.

@hollboll I had fun last year, so sign me up again!

@brendles Hi Brendles!!! Also, shoutout to @ceagee and @odi- you guys playing again this year?

@sammydog01 Ah, gee, @ceagee is ill. I need to email her to see how she is doing.

@Barney Aw, sorry to hear that. I pinged her on slack and didn’t hear back and got worried.

@sammydog01 Hi Sammydog! Looking forward to this season I hope @ceagee is feeling better soon.

I’ll probably be here.

@hollboll This will be only my second year, and I still don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, but since I won our weak little beginner league (no offense–or maybe a little; let the trash talk re-commence) and since the kid seems to be pushing me in this direction, why the fuck not? Lose big and go home–that’s what I always say.

@hollboll
Intermediate league.

A pox upon all your houses!

/giphy pox upon all your houses

@hollboll Yeah, why not, looking forward to losing again!

Me too. I look forward to sharing all my intermediate football fantasies with you people.

@hollboll ill return for this one

@hollboll I’ll join!

@hollboll oh sorry, I did it wrong. Hi!

@becca @asgriffin woop!

/giphy hi

@hollboll I’ll try intermediate this year

@sammydog01 thanks for the tag, I haven’t had time to follow the forums because of work being very busy.

@hollboll I’ll go intermediate if there is room. If not, beginner. Where ever is going to trash talk the most!

@hollboll I would like to be a part of one of the league. I have been in a family, for fun, league for the past two years so I guess the intermediate league.

@hollboll Sign me up! (Assuming I’m not too late.)

@hollboll sign me up.

@hollboll Count me in! Minnesota Meh-heM Maker mediocre at best.

@hollboll Sounds like fun - though who will assume the brother role of mocking my every move???

@cometwatcher
<cough>

/giphy everyone

@hollboll I would like to play again!

@hollboll yeah yeah

@hollboll Ok and obligatory: Ew, ESPN.

@hollboll I should probably be in Advanced again since I won last year(but I never got the promised prize ). Hopefully life doesn’t get in the way too much and I can be a good participant and not the League slacker that everybody hates.

@hollboll Put me down as a stand-by and I’ll fill the last available slot if need be.

@hollboll Here…sorry I’m late.

@TaRDy wouldn’t expect anything else.

@hollboll Count me in. I’ll have to come up with a new team name as “St. Louis Rammers” is no longer applicable. Sad Face.

@baseba4551 Los Angeles Rammers ? Eh?

@hollboll I’m in

@f00l not sure when just yet but we’ll do ESPN.

@f00l We’ll draft the last week of August.

@hollboll
Possible beginner or intermediate league, but also possible draft conflict w family league.

Have played 2 years.
Never done a trade.
Spent about 20-30 minutes a week.
Our family league is a custom job, your rules won’t match.
I don’t usually watch football.
No clue re state of NFL.

Beginner?

@f00l you could probably do either. Beginner would probably be less pressure. We do very basic rules, I did intermediate last year and I’m pretty sure I only ended up watching one game the whole season. Definitely have no idea about the state of the NFL. ESPN has lots of good stats info and predictions that make it easy.

@hollboll I vote that no one messes with the rules. I have this anxiety that someone will come in and mess with the rules and I’ll be even more lost. That being said, I suppose the rules for the different leagues were probably different.

/giphy well shit

@joelmw
I managed OK in my family league that has lots of weird rules. I just became endlessly annoying about “I don’t understand”, and I wouldn’t shut up, and then ppl answered my questions. For some reason I was not disinvited for the following year.

Re ESPN. Worth familiarizing yourself with the desktop website. The apps are v good too, for simple stuff, trades, picking up players, etc.

Re being lost:. Some of your friends who are veterans in FF owe you favors. Or just like you. Time for them to pay. Hit them up endlessly for advice. Don’t worry, they love talking about it to the exclusion of all else.

@f00l My first year (again, last year) I decided I might as well do it at work too, in addition to the beginner league I did here. Found out a couple weeks in that there was money involved ($20: my buddy swears he told me; yeah, right). I was rolling for the first half of the season and then got hit with some killer injuries to key players. I think I get the general principles well enough and I was hanging out at both ESPN and Yahoo (where our work league is) and several other FFL sites on a regular basis. There are just so many variables involved, including how teammates work together, how specific teams tend to play against each other, injuries, etc. Sure, all of the sites will tell you their take on those factors, but ultimately you’ve got to pull that information together and make an informed decision. I’m an old man now and I’m pretty well convinced that this–like everything else–comes down largely to experience. Wisdom is a thing developed over time. I’m still determined to not follow the NFL much, but I’m ready to branch out and experiment a bit more within the confines of the numbers.

@f00l And the thing with the rules is that they obviously change scoring and drive player selection. I just don’t want any last minute surprises is all; I’d prefer to make slow deliberate choices about how I prepare for the draft. Well, and if I were in an advanced league or one managed by someone playing in the league, I’d be all kinds of suspicious that that Commish was skewing things to get an edge.

@joelmw
My lovely esteemed nephew manages our family league…but then he manages all the leagues he’s in, at owners’ consensus request…because everyone knows he is the sort who would never cheat. Besides, there are always 1-2 co-managers, who can check up on each other.

Time suck:. Personal choice. All you wanna give it, as long as it doesn’t cost you significant $, a divorce, relationships, jobs, personal trust, a repairable house/car, your kuds’ love, etc. I figure it’s worth 20min to 1 hour of effort for me per week at most. To me! When I want more info, that’s why I have friends/family who are obsessed. I give them an outlet for their expertise and a justification for their madness - I’m doing them a favor.

As for the stuff beyond the stats and the ESPN algorithms:. WTF do I care how people play together or whether someone is really healed or whether someone’s talent makes them worthless on a given week? That’s why I know insane obsessives. They have a purpose on this earth, and that purpose is to help me with FF.

@joelmw

Well, and if I were in an advanced league or one managed by someone
playing in the league, I’d be all kinds of suspicious that that
Commish was skewing things to get an edge.

@mfladd I didn’t even tag you and you knew I was talking about you.

/giphy Tom Brady fail

@joelmw ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I am NOT starring that!

@mfladd I see all.

@mfladd @joelmw

I’ll star it

@capguncowboy

@capguncowboy
@mfladd
@joelmw
/giphy evil eye

@hollboll Hey, guess what week it is? Yes, the last week of August.

@haflander should be pretty straightforward, I don’t remember changing anything last year.

@hollboll cool, just hit me up when it’s close to drafting time or to confirm or whatever you gotta do.

@haflander will do!

@MrGlass Your talent appears to lie in movie selection.

@sammydog01 Sports is probably my worse subject, which is actually why I joined the league - I was working at a sports company and needed to understand the stats better

@f00l I love auto draft. I got to meet lots of new players and teams last year. I watched every game I had a guy in (if it came with my TV package).

@sammydog01
I intend to watch no games or almost no games and to bitch endlessly about my loser roster while bidding pennies for anything that looks half decent.

Karma intends that everyone talented that I own be seriously injured with 4 weeks.

/giphy now you know

@sammydog01 @hollboll My work league drafts this Thursday evening. I’d prefer that we not do them at the same time, but am open to Friday evening, over the weekend or whatever–before that next Thursday.

/giphy FWIW

@hollboll I like following along in the forum (esp participants smack-talk) but I had no real intention of participating - thanks anyway!

@compunaut
/giphy loser

@hollboll nothing like advance notice

Not sure I’ll be able to make the draft given the notice but I’ll do my best.

@joelmw Not participating is how I avoid losing

@hollboll Poor @galmaegi- not even your co-workers can spell your name correctly.

@hollboll I should be on the intermediate list, I think? I posted a couple times.

@hollboll but I’m fine with advanced to keep league sizes normal

Come on @hollboll!

@becca sweet, I’ll let you know!

@dashcloud @galmaegi I have no idea what you’re talking about.

@hollboll I am sorry. I cannot participate. I even had to leave FESUSGL and my work league. I have a family emergency that will be taking all of time. I leave Thur. and don’t know yet when I will be returning. Sorry.

@hollboll I have another teenager that would be interested in beginner if you need to round out the numbers- you may know her from Clash of Clans. Also I’m flexible on beginner or intermediate if that helps.

@mfladd sorry to hear that, hope everything is okay.

@sammydog01 Yup, I’ve got room in the beginner league! I may move @becca to advanced to round it out, but we’re looking good.

@hollboll Awesome! Sign @Dragontrainer up for beginner if you still have room. Thanks!

@mfladd
Pls keep us posted, or at least come trash talk us as often as you can then

Hope all is ok? Or at least not terrible or tragic?

@mfladd I hope everything works out okay.

@mfladd You’re an asshole, but you’re our asshole and we love you, man. I hope you’re doing alright and that things get better.

/giphy group hug

@f00l we’ll send you an email invite.

@hollboll
Won’t work cause meh has wrong email address for ESPN. Unless the sign-in link in lets me sign into ESPN using another email.

I can’t keep track or two diff ESPN accounts, brain capacity prob.

@f00l it does let you sign in with a different email. i just did and joined the league.

@hollboll
Ok joined. Thx.

@f00l let me know if there’s any issues

@hollboll
If I don’t win the season, I suppose that’s an issue. Can you take care of that little detail before the draft starts? Thx

/giphy I win

@f00l I’m a member engagement specialist, not a member delusion specialist.

@hollboll
/giphy Sobs

@MrGlass
Stop that. Now.

Adulting is so bad for you.

@f00l The key is to be super good at adulting so that you have more time for fun. In this case, job interview is cancelled - cause I just got a job!

@MrGlass Congrats!
/giphy congratulations on the new job

@sammydog01 Wow thats perfect. I would say I love giphy, but they never answered my job application. So screw giphy.

@carl669

/giphy smack talk

@carl669

@sammydog01 is this because i said i didn’t like jazz?

@MEHcus oh, I’m signed up… Prepare to suffer some middling mediocrity.

@MEHcus Man, I almost forgot how much of a dumpster fire ESPN is. The fucking webdesign is atrocious.

@DrunkCat I don’t know why some people hate it so much. I’ve always used it and found it to be super easy to use. Maybe I’m just simple minded.

@MEHcus If you’ve never tried another website that’s probably why.

@DrunkCat I’ve used a few others and always preferred ESPN

@MEHcus
/giphy then your opinion is bad

@MEHcus Hey, speaking of advanced leagues and drafting… are you still doing FESUSGL? We need confirmation that you can do our draft time so we can move forward and fill our last spot.

@christinewas Oh yeah, thanks for the reminder. Go ahead and fill that spot, had a few other things come up that I need to focus on instead.

I can do that. Everyone down for 2 smaller leagues?
@becca, @joelmw, @f00l, @smigit2002, @Rosstafari, @jml326, @asgriffin, @Odi, @don, @patthetuck, @cometwatcher, @christinewas, @bfb62185, @nodnetni, @bruceoite?

@hollboll

I vote for maximum chaos. Or move me to another tier, if it helps. (Whichever)

<btw, will we be able too see what’s going on in the other tiers also, for purposes of inflicting the greatest abuse to the greatest number?>

/giphy break dance

@hollboll yes that sounds good to me.

@f00l

/giphy the darkest timeline

@hollboll Yes please!

@hollboll I’m good with that.

@hollboll yeah I’m down. I’ll even play in both if you need to balance the team #'s

@hollboll I will go along with whatever. I think smaller leagues is a good idea. I don’t know if i can make the draft time. Of course if the league is small i can auto draft and trade players after.

@hollboll If it’s that or 18 teams, go for small. 10-12 is the ideal. 14 max. By 18, yeah, you’re gonna be getting a lot of player people have never heard of.

That sweet spot of 10-12 has the incentive of finding new guys and not just relying on the big names. Anybody from one of the other levels want to jump ship to ours to help out?

@hollboll I’m fine with whatever the majority decides.

@hollboll If f00l and becca are moving to different tiers, I’ll move to beginner. Then you need only one more volunteer to move to make intermediate 14.

If you split, I recommend moving some beginners over to intermediate so that each league has 10

@Odi
@Hollboll

Good proposal it seems to me.

Am fine with whatever creates havoc. Am opposed to anything else.

@hollboll yes

@f00l are you saying that I can’t start the draft drunk

@don
No i’m saying finish the draft drunk. Start already plastered if you wish. Just be worse fir wear at the end.

In my case, likely auto-draft, so i have to get ESPN’s fantasy server proxy-drunk.

/giphy proxy-drunk

@hollboll
That’s orderly and rational and confusing

/giphy huh?

@hollboll it looks like I was kicked out of the first intermediate league but I never received an invite from @toposhaba2 to join another league. did I miss something

@hollboll never mind I found the other email and I am all set. thanks again for putting this together

The draft is TOMMOROW people!

@galmaegi So stupid question, as long as we are signed up ESPN will auto draft for us without us doing anything, right?

@sammydog01 I think you’ll need to select Autopick in order to do that.

@galmaegi Uh, how?

@galmaegi
/giphy panic

@sammydog01 Go to League Settings then Edit Draft Settings

@galmaegi Aren’t you the only one that can change league settings?

@sammydog01 Okay, forget what I said. You don’t need to do anything. As long as you’re singed up for the league, you’re good to go. If you weren’t able to do it live today, it will pick them for you.

@galmaegi
/giphy relief

@sammydog01 haha they’re too cute!

@galmaegi Note: singed not = signed
/giphy singed

@MEHcus If I’m not there it’s because I forgot and don’t know how to set an alarm.

@DrunkCat quit drinking. Or keep drinking if it keeps you awake.

@MEHcus
I am not in your league.
(both meanings)
I am fairly new to FF: played 2 years in a family league. Almost never watch football or listen to sports commentary, but attended many games when young, and played a lot of touch fb in HS (co-ed games) so I sort-of-barely know how the game works. I play FF for fun, randomness, and trash.

What is the big deal about not auto-drafting? Does that indicate an owner is not serious enough or something? Are some leagues best if non-fanatics aren’t there, so that it gets seriously competitive?

How do I decode the culture of “advanced FF”, being sorta an outsider/newbie?

@MEHcus gonna try my best. Heard it was 1:15, forgot u guys are on central time lol. Trying to change my lunch schedule haha

@MEHcus Fuck sakes disable autopick next time.

/giphy fuuuuuu

@galmaegi The computer does a better job at drafting than me, so no problem.

@galmaegi @sammydog01 so, i missed the draft due to the boy rolling out of bed and breaking his clavicle at 1am last night. do you have to have had autodraft setup? or is it something it just does if you don’t pick anyone?

Draft is complete!

@carl669 You don’t need to do anything. Computer did all the work for you.

@carl669 Bummer. Hope he’s OK.

@galmaegi I have only heard of maybe three of my players. Uh oh.

@galmaegi Apparently I was supposed to pay attention to “bye weeks”. Week eleven is going to be interesting. Thank god I’m not spending money on this!

@sammydog01 I have only heard of maybe two of my players.

@carl669 hope everything is okay!

@emilyap Do you live near Denver by any chance?

@sammydog01 Ha! Yes, hometown loyalty.

@hollboll @sammydog01 he’ll be fine. he’s being showered with apple juice, teddy grahams, bacon and tylenol with codeine.

@jbartus. Four players questionable and two suspended- off to a good start I see.

@galmaegi Argh, I cancel my interview for the draft and then this happens! I signed on a few minutes late, computer had already wasted early draft picks on a suspended player.

@carl669 Hope he’s feeling better now! Sorry for the last minute change.

@MrGlass Tell me this is not true?!

@galmaegi Its totally true! It picked Leveon Bell but hes suspended right now.

Oh, you mean the interview? Well, I got an offer from a better company,

@MrGlass Woop! Congrats!

@MrGlass Bell is not a wasted pick. Even missing a few games, he’s one of the best RBs in the league and if healthy will put up numbers accordingly.

@sammydog01 I didn’t make the picks, if I’d been able to clear my schedule to attend you can rest assured Brady would have been my week one pick. (Yes, with his mandatory 4 week suspension)

@jbartus round one pick*

@jbartus Considering the computer put him at round 8 that would have been a wasted pick. I had him last year- started out strong and tapered off at the end of the season- I wound up benching him. But you’ll get some good numbers out of him at the beginning of the season- oh wait, that’s when he’s suspended. Bummer.

@sammydog01 you got my point…

Also if your logic is that he burns bright and hot and then peters out then by having him miss the first four games I’d avoid the time period in which you felt the need to bench the best quarterback around because of his abbreviated season.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@jbartus What a whiner. Sounds like a certain Pats QB we all know…
/giphy whiner

@jbartus Says the guy who was going to draft Brady first round. Trust me, she did you a favor.

@compunaut @sammydog01 I hope you guys amuse yourselves. I don’t really see any whining here, simply a statement of fact followed by a request with justification.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@jbartus I amused myself. @compunaut Did you amuse yourself too? I hope so.

@sammydog01 I’m glad.

@sammydog01 Actually Mr JB amuses me more. He’s all fun & games unless you tease him about his widdle wabbit (I mean QB)
/giphy widdle wabbit

@compunaut aha, that’s why you all hate him, if he’s the ‘wabbit’ then your teams must be Elmer Fudd and we all know Fudd never gets his ‘wascally wabbit’

@jml326 I’ll send you the prize I got for winning last year.

@sammydog01 Well you can’t have mine from 2014 I was thrilled about it.

@jml326 Wait, you got an actual prize? And I didn’t? Boo.

@sammydog01 yeah it was a box of balls or ball like things. ball pit balls, a hover craft soccer ball, i think a Meh shirt, and other random stuff. I might have posted a picture on here… i’ll have to look around.

@sammydog01

@jml326 Nice!