Embarrassing Hotel Message to Flight Crew
12I would not be doing my job as the site Mistress if I didn’t post this titillating article
https://www.thesun.co.uk/travel/10000232/cabin-crew-sex-toy-hotel/amp/
- 6 comments, 60 replies
- Comment
I would not be doing my job as the site Mistress if I didn’t post this titillating article
https://www.thesun.co.uk/travel/10000232/cabin-crew-sex-toy-hotel/amp/
Isn’t dildough what they use to make fried pickles?
Why the fuck did they measure it?
@RiotDemon that was my EXACT thought. I would NOT want to touch it, let alone take the time to inspect it!!
/giphy gross
@RiotDemon to provide identifiable info to the person who might be missing it. That was probably the safest way to describe it without going into detail about color, texture, capabilities, etc…
@medz @RiotDemon @tinamarie1974
Go on…
@medz @RiotDemon @therealjrn @tinamarie1974 some are more capable than others!
@JnKL @medz @RiotDemon @therealjrn trmore true words were never spoken
@JnKL @medz @RiotDemon @therealjrn @tinamarie1974 Or the conversation something went like this-
“Blimey! That thing must be 10 inches long!”
“Naw, ya think? I’d say 9 inches, tops”
“Hold on mate, I’ve got a tape measure in my room”
“Get your camera while you’re at it”
@JnKL @medz @mehcuda67 @RiotDemon @therealjrn @tinamarie1974 exactly, I bet that’s how it happened! Brilliant!
@mehcuda67 very common for this type of thing to be in the 9-10 inch range. The operator typically wants a few inches to hold onto while using it which would put the “usable” length of the item within average parameters for the application at hand.
@JnKL @medz @mehcuda67 @RiotDemon @therealjrn @tinamarie1974 not sure “blimey” , “mate” and “inches” go together. just sayin’
@mehcuda67 Uh, false. The argument would’ve been in centimeters!
@JnKL @medz @mehcuda67 @RedHot @RiotDemon @therealjrn @tinamarie1974,@Bretterson Actually the UK still uses inches, and Miles, and MPH/MPG, qts, gallons, etc. you know , “imperial measurements”
(assuming we’re talking Manchester England…)
@Bretterson @earlyre @JnKL @medz @RedHot @RiotDemon @therealjrn @tinamarie1974 Some of the older crowd like to hang on to inches, UK gallons, etc. And stone for weights of persons. They also make exceptions for certain industries. Soft furnishings (e.g. curtains) are still primarily measured in inches, but will have cm in parenthesis. Timber (don’t call it lumber) is now in mm, but kept the same dimensions as when they were in inches - but a UK 50 x 100 (2 x 4) is more generous than a US 2 x 4 as I remember. And a UK pint is definitely more generous than a US pint - an 8 pint pub crawl over there is the same as a 10 pint crawl over here.
I did have a couple of friends in North Yorkshire who could have probably put that particular sentence together, but that was a long time ago and the particular area I was in was a melting pot, so your mileage or kilometerage may vary depending on where you are in the UK.
@mehcuda67
they’re an interesting hodge-podge of standards…
fuel still sold by the gallon, speed limit is in mph, temperatures stated in either f/c , etc…
@RiotDemon @tinamarie1974
I’m assuming the measurement was more of an “eyeball” thing.
that’s what…20,…25cm? sure…looks about 25cm…
( ie: that’s what? 9.5, 10"? sure…looks about 10"…)
@earlyre @RiotDemon one would hope, but people can be weird
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@mehcuda67 I just hired an engineer (civil) from Chelmsford who has never worked in inches or miles. It’s interesting that they’re so wide spread
FTA:
We need a world-wide study for this vital statistic.
@therealjrn here is an interesting article. Toys were the second item listed.
I find the idea of leaving artificial limbs behind much more intriguing. How does one forget to take an arm or a leg?!?!?
https://travel.prwave.ro/most-common-items-left-behind-for-hotel-staff-to-find/
@therealjrn @tinamarie1974 When you’re in a rush to check out and make the flight home, some forget the spare charger, some forget the underwear, some forget the spare limbs. Soon it’ll be cheaper to just order a replacement from Amazon.
KuoH
@kuoh @therealjrn but I have never forgot the important things. I always double check for things like my CPAP, phone, laptop, accessories (cough) and do a walk thru just to be safe. This blows my mind.
@kuoh @tinamarie1974 I can safely say I have never left a personal massager or a prosthetic limb behind anywhere.
@kuoh @therealjrn @tinamarie1974 Maybe it’s not their limb.
@mehcuda67 Rocket Raccoon stays in hotels?
@therealjrn @tinamarie1974
Perhaps they just thought the room price was that exorbitant…
@kuoh @therealjrn @tinamarie1974
Or just make your own with a 3D printer…
@chienfou @therealjrn @tinamarie1974 Nah, order it in midflight and Amazon will probably have it at the doorstep by the time you get home. You might even see the drone zip by as the plane circles to land.
KuoH
@mehcuda67 @mollama
No, but according to John and Paul, Rocky does…
Not sure what I can add to that.
@mehcuda67 so years ago the company I worked for, among other things, coordinated mattress swap-outs for hotels.
I handled quite a number of swaps and you would not believe the things the crew would report finding between the mattresses or on the floor under the bed.
At one point they asked if they could wear those white haz mat suits. It was just gross, to the point that when I check into a hotel I check both spots before unpacking my bag.
@tinamarie1974 Yikes. Sounds worthy of a PSA.
Maybe that was why my last hotel bed had a lump in it.
@mehcuda67 hahaha. You should always check. My crews found toys, condoms and sometimes “herbs” .
What I learned is that often people that travel weekly or consistently to a destination will request the same room over and over. Sometimes those folks will hide things in between the mattress.
@mehcuda67 @tinamarie1974
/giphy CSI
Maybe buy one of these:
https://www.homedepot.com/p/28-LED-UV-Flashlight-900221/203772119
or
https://www.amazon.com/TaoTronics-Blacklight-Flashlights-Detector-Batteries/dp/B00RV8PREI/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_468_t_2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=N6ZEN6SFPE97GFTBDBC0
@mehcuda67 @PhysAssist omg I would be afraid of what I would see!!!
@tinamarie1974
/giphy shocker
Too true, but also forewarned is fore-armed…
You can then unleash the trusty Lysol spray…
@PhysAssist how did you know my lysol is never far away
@tinamarie1974 You always seem to be pretty astute, and on top of things, so it just made sense.
@PhysAssist
/giphy awe shucks
@mehcuda67 @tinamarie1974 have you ever seen the movie “Four Rooms” where they find a dead prostitute in between the Matress and bedspring.
@mehcuda67 @star2236 nnnooooo but how sad is THAT!!
I forget the book title; a book I read in the last few years was a memoir of life as a clerk, concierge, and similar (going up the career path) at one of the big Manhattan hotels.
The hotel was known informally by the lower-level staff as “Ward Bellevue“ in their private staff conversations.
Sex toys were a frequent find. One customer left one of those very expensive full size sex dolls.
The hotel staff discreetly called the customer (a very wealthy and very frequent guest) to ask if he was missing any property, when the doll was found. He denied all knowledge if it.
The staff “held the doll” (in handcuffs
) in an informal and unofficial “lost and found” for a period of time. Just in case someone claimed it. No one ever did.
The doll was never logged into a “found items system”, and supposedly, mgmt never knew about it. ,
Once some period of time has passed, and a customer claim was unlikely, the staff gave the doll to the most creative housekeeping crew. They would dress the doll up in various donated outfits periodically, and leave it in various supply closets for other staff members to find.
Kind of a hotel staff version of “where’s Waldo”, except a bit more:
“Where’s <stripper name here>“
/giphy “stripper name”
Housekeeping supposedly later verified that the very wealthy regular customer finally purchased yet another, even more expensive, and even more realistic “companion”.
@f00l I don’t know if it’s the same book, but I’ve read “Heads in Beds” which was a super fun read at a look into hotel employees etc
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1101973749/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_1JlJDb37YRBAK
@f00l @moonhat I’m gonna have to read that, sounds interesting.
@moonhat @star2236 I read it over the weekend. It’s a quick read. I liked the first 2/3 of the book much better than the last. By the end he’s pretty jaded and repeats himself a lot. Maybe the publisher wanted him to make it a little longer.
He goes onandonandon about tipping.
He appears to quite enjoy coming across as one of those assholes who think they are a little smarter than everybody else. Typical for a douche philosophy major. But I’d hang out with him, he seems to be a likeable douche.
But it wasn’t a bad quick read. I’d read something else by him because he does know his way around telling a story.
I never have stayed in the type of hotel he describes but you can bet your ass I’ll be carrying a stack of baby bricks if I do.
@carl669 add another one to the count
@moonhat @star2236 @therealjrn baby bricks?
@Limewater @moonhat @star2236 Yup. Baby bricks. That’s what the author says they call $20 bills in the biz. A $100 bill is called a brick according to him.
Apparently you start handing out baby bricks starting with the doorman, then the front desk as you casually ask about an upgrade, then to the bellhop, the housekeeper, anybody who greets you…
He goes onandonandon about tipping in the book.
@Limewater @moonhat @star2236 I wouldn’t suggest buying the book, but if you can borrow it from the library or something it’s worth an afternoon.
@Limewater @moonhat @therealjrn I ended up buying the book yesterday for like $5 including shipping. Totally forgot about getting it from the library, had a ruff Saturday night, brain wasn’t working.
@Limewater @star2236 @therealjrn tell us about your Saturday night, Star!
/giphy found-moms-lightsaber
@medz or this:
@chienfou
/youtube news anchor toothbrush
@chienfou @medz she cannot be that stupid can she?!?!?!.!
@chienfou @medz I feel so proud that my thread resulted in the posting of a dildo commercial. Hahahaha
/giphy accomplished
@chienfou @tinamarie1974 That was just a cordless personal massager like was advertised in the old magazines.
@chienfou @medz oh yes, of course. My bad! Those personal massagers do a great job working out tension/knots on ones shoulder/neck area.
@medz @tinamarie1974
/giphy you’re welcome
@medz @tinamarie1974
shouldn’t that be tensiOn … you know , with a big “O”
@chienfou @medz O hOw right yOu are…multiple big O’s
@medz @tinamarie1974 my, aren’t we the naughty girl!
/image naughty girl
@chienfou @medz
@medz @tinamarie1974 oh… you finally decided to post your pic, did you?
@chienfou @medz nah, I am a brunette!
@medz @tinamarie1974 funny, that light makes you look blond!