Dueling Songs Day with Jonathan Mann

matthew shared some links said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 4:08am ET

At Meh, we're all about the New Thing Daily. New day, new sale, new video, newsy schmoozy. Who else out there on the whole wide web shares our mania for making every day a new thing?

Well, how about Jonathan Mann? That dude's been grinding out new original songs on the daily for well over 2,000 days now.

This week, our video team is going head-to-head with Jonathan, and we need your help.

On Friday, 12/12, our daily video will be a split-screen dueling songs showdown featuring original songs by both Jonathan and us on a theme of your choosing. Here are our parameters:

A. It should be seasonal/holiday-related. It can be as weird as you like -- both JM and the Meh video team have experience writing on nonsensical topics -- but make it holiday-weird.

B. Post your suggestions and fave-star other people's good ones in this thread until 5PMish Pacific time.

C. After disqualifying any suggested themes that are libelous, obscene, or otherwise beyond the pale, we'll select our favorite from your top four star-getting suggestions.

D. Jonathan and the Meh team will post our dueling split-screen songs video on Friday of this week. The two songs will share screen space and a theme, but not, like, a key. So expect this clash of songwriting titans to actually clash! It should be fun.

OK, suggestions?

54 comments, 22 replies
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2many2no said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 4:46am ET:

Jingle Ball Docks

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tightwad said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 8:49am ET:

Christmas in the desert

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- @tightwad Yo man, check out "White Christmas" with the verse. Basically it's about Christmas in California, kind of the same deal.
  
  andrewpatrick said Tue, Dec 16th 2014 at 11:31pm ET
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SSteve said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 8:59am ET:

Sitting in holiday traffic driving to your sister's house

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kc5rbq said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 9:13am ET:

Christmas on Christmas Island.

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Lister said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 9:32am ET:

Christmas apocalypse

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- @Lister
  
  earlyre said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 4:55pm ET
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- @earlyre Wow, I completely forgot about this song. I feel ashamed.
  
  Lister said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 6:30pm ET
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ilovereality said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 9:58am ET:

Edited to make one comment per suggestion....

Wet or Dry Stuffing?

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ilovereality said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 10:01am ET:

Is the kids table is now the cool table (technology wise)?

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ilovereality said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 10:02am ET:

The new Santa Experience (people renting Santas to deliver gifts, climb on rooftops, etc).

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hallmike said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 10:02am ET:

"Jailbait Fruitcake"

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ilovereality said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 10:03am ET:

Never buy your wife a kitchen item for the holidays, or your husband electronics (actually ever).

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- @ilovereality Oddly, best gifts I get my wife are for the kitchen. I get her func ookie cutters & bento stuff from Japan
  
  MrGlass said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 3:41pm ET
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jsh139 said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 10:09am ET:

Christmas trees: Real or Artificial.

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jsh139 said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 10:16am ET:

A song about how Jewish kids always feel left out around Christmastime. And don't give me that Hanukkah bullshit, it's just not the same.

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- @jsh139 Is that JewiSH kids?
  
  cinoclav said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 4:19pm ET
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- @Cinoclav Haha.. took me a minute.
  
  jsh139 said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 5:06pm ET
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- @jsh139 south park already did it
  
  DaveInSoCal said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 5:17pm ET
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- @DaveInSoCal
  
  jsh139 said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 5:30pm ET
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LadyLeela said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 10:26am ET:

Christmas better with or without snow?

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mediobarkre said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 10:48am ET:

Lame Secret Santa gifts

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Teripie said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 10:59am ET:

Arming myself for the War on Christmas.

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mediobarkre said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 11:02am ET:

How is the school bully on the "Nice List"? And getting better stuff from Santa than me?

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BillLehecka said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 11:40am ET:

Carol of the Blahs.

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BillLehecka said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 11:47am ET:

Christmas Krampus: Friend or Foe?

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BillLehecka said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 11:48am ET:

Theme: Seriously, How Inappropriate is "Baby It's Cold Outside."?

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- @BillLehecka Date Rape Christmas.
  
  Thumperchick said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 3:41pm ET
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BillLehecka said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 11:50am ET:

Why Are There No Boxing Day Songs?

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MrGlass said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 12:04pm ET:

You should capitalize on all the star wars hype thats going around these days and make a song about Life Day

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parodymandotcom said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 12:22pm ET:

What do elves do the rest of the year?

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mehjohnson said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 12:26pm ET:

Oh no ho ho, family of my S.O. ...
(please do not credit me if it becomes famous.)

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matthew said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 12:35pm ET:

I like a lot of these suggestions, and I also like the odds we'll get to pick whatever we want from the zero-star 50-way tie for fourth place

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- @matthew I'll star my own posts. Thanks for the heads-up!
  
  jsh139 said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 12:42pm ET
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- @matthew This one currently has 4 stars...if this is in the top 4 posts does it count as a suggestion? Will you have to sing about choosing a song from a 50-way tie? It's like an inception song
  
  chellemonkey said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 1:14pm ET
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- @matthew With the popularity of this post maybe you should do a song about Christmas in an on line forum - trolls and all.
  
  Teripie said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 7:18pm ET
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Starblind said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 12:41pm ET:

A wistful yet erotic ballad in which Mrs. Claus discovers Rudolph's nose isn't the only part of him that glows red.

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Starblind said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 12:51pm ET:

Ho, Ho, Ho: A Compton Christmas (featuring Santa C & ELF-One)

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Starblind said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 1:02pm ET:

The Elf On The MILF
- A lonely housewife and a magical companion enjoy a festive journey through holiday sensuality in a different position each night.

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moondrake said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 1:11pm ET:

Ninja Claus (Assassins in the Chimney!)

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mediobarkre said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 1:54pm ET:

North Pole Economics. Are Santa's Elves slave labor or a sweatshop? If paid, how does Santa generate the revenue to pay them?

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walarney said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 2:19pm ET:

Is that an orange floating in my eggnog?

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unixrab said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 2:19pm ET:

Greek Gods Christmas on Olympus

(Hades is furious and spikes the punch ...Eirene, god of peace gets sloppy drunk with Mars, god of war unleashing a tide of meh-ness on the mortals... let the pandemonium ensue!)

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ilovereality said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 2:22pm ET:

Anything with Meh-ry Christ-meh worked into it.

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unixrab said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 2:23pm ET:

Bizarro Christmas in Bizarro World
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bizarro_World

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Thumperchick said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 2:29pm ET:

Want a Zombiepocalypse for Christmas

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unixrab said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 2:45pm ET:

Occupy Christmas - The occupy Wall-Street gang find their way to the North Pole Santa Complex and disrupt the whole works ... chaos ensues.

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unixrab said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 2:53pm ET:

The love triangle of Jack Frost, Santa & Mrs. Claus causes bitter divorce proceedings and threatens Christmas when the 9th Circuit court grants the house and the factory to Mrs. Claus and the elves are torn between Santa and Mrs. Claus. Santa gets half the reindeer but she gets the sleigh and Santa can't build a new one in time that will carry all the presents with only half the reindeer. Mrs. Claus gets an Order of Protection on ole' St. Nick and he has to vacate the North Pole - Torn between his desire to reconcile with Mrs. Claus and his love for the children and their impending sadness because Christmas is on the verge of being canceled, Santa takes drastic measures - will his gambit pay off? Will Mrs. Claus break things off with Jack. Why does Santa buy a gun? Will he save Christmas and get Mrs. Claus back? Will disenfranchised elves return? ...... ......
....
... ok that got out of hand.

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capguncowboy said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 3:06pm ET:

I feel like the Christmas Krampus doesn't get enough attention in the US. This would be a wonderful opportunity to explain how and why he's so much better than Santa

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unixrab said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 3:15pm ET:

Santa comes to Middle Earth in...
"The Lord of the Rings Christmas special!"

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snapster said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 3:44pm ET:

Gamergate (ho-ho, just kidding)

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- @snapster
  
  JonT said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 3:55pm ET
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snapster said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 3:47pm ET:

"No c" vs "extra n" ; expose on the challenges of surname verbalization spelling assumptions when soliciting the production of hand written holiday party name tags.

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- @snapster - schnnapster?
  
  kdemo said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 8:30pm ET
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Thumperchick said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 3:59pm ET:

Irkin' around the Christmas tree. (Sung in Irk's voice, of course)

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Thumperchick said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 3:59pm ET:

A Drunken Family Christmas
(A Holly Jolly Christmas)

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luvche21 said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 4:11pm ET:

Need any extra instrument tracks? Between my wife and I we could record saxophone/violin/piano/guitar/clarinet/djembe tracks!

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- @luvche21 What, no didgeridoo?
  
  JonT said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 6:03pm ET
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- @JonT I'm sure I could figure it out... ship me out one in my next fuku and I'll lay down a track :)
  
  luvche21 said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 6:43pm ET
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- @luvche21 Be careful what you wish for around here.
  
  hallmike said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 6:47pm ET
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- @hallmike A promise is a promise -- if Meh sends me a digeridoo, I'll lay down a track. Maybe a cover of Something Went Terribly Wrong?
  
  luvche21 said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 7:03pm ET
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- @luvche21 You'd be lucky to get just one. Be prepared for to receive a gross of broken 'doos.
  
  hallmike said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 8:36pm ET
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- @hallmike An exact gross (144) of 'doos? Even if it's a gross gross, I'll clean them up and lay down a groovin' track.
  
  luvche21 said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 8:58pm ET
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luvche21 said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 4:16pm ET:

Irk singing like Beaker (meh meh meh instead of mi mi mi) singing O Tannenbaum.

Example:

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cinoclav said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 4:22pm ET:

The sudden onslaught in popularity of ugly Christmas sweaters, their related parties, and why it's not perfectly acceptable to wear garish sweaters at any other time of the year.

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Thumperchick said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 4:28pm ET:

12 Douches of Christmas
A lamentation of the crappy personalities that commonly come to the forefront during the holiday season.

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Kevin said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 4:33pm ET:

Whose fault is it that your package didn't arrive in time Christmas, the shipper or retailer?

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carl669 said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 5:31pm ET:

Carol of the Goats (@lisaviolet made me type this)

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- @carl669
  
  Thumperchick said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 10:33pm ET
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Teripie said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 6:40pm ET:

Christmas with the Tibetan Swamp Monks.
They’re a small secluded group who support their order by producing and selling gourmet. small batch potato chips. Their best seller is Blackened Chicken Flavored Chips, but it’s closely followed by the Sweet & Sour Pork, and Sushi flavored chips.
At Christmas time they sing the Christmas carol that is about their beliefs, the Latin,
“Ne Ferrum Populus in Faciem.”
It’s a haunting melody with a gentle message we could all live by.

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kdemo said Tue, Dec 9th 2014 at 7:11pm ET:

Festivus Fandango! (I know I'm too late, I've been working!).

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curtise said Wed, Dec 10th 2014 at 1:53am ET:

Awkward Mistletoe Mishaps.

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DaveInSoCal said Wed, Dec 10th 2014 at 2:00am ET:

I WANNA ROCK U HARD THIS XMAS:

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Alien said Wed, Dec 10th 2014 at 3:33am ET:

cats and ornaments
a sorry combination
mehsy holidays

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matthew said Thu, Dec 11th 2014 at 11:32pm ET:

It's coming

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- @matthew nibiru
  
  walarney said Thu, Dec 11th 2014 at 11:45pm ET
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