Doing The Write Thing
36Oh hello there – I didn’t see you come in. I’m skemmehs AKA skemmis AKA Sam AKA lichmesux420; I was a writer and Forumz Manager at Woot for a spell and now I’m here helping with the writing. Hooray! I was (am) also a writer at The Onion, so go ahead and blame me for the fake news catastrophe.
I see some usernames I recognize, of course, and look forward to disappointing you all again in new, surprising ways, starting with writing of a markedly lower quality than that of the inimitable @JasonToon.
Here are a few thoughts I have about Meh, as I come into the fold:
- GIFs, huh?
- Oh nice, only one product a day
- Oh no, people actually read the writeups
All right, I’ll get back to trying to come up with jokes about socks. Hello! And – sorry!
- 30 comments, 48 replies
- Comment
Boooo… Hiss… "lichmesux420"
But otherwise, welcome!
@mikibell he doesn’t actually but it’s a rivalry I’d hate to lose
@skemmehs ok…well…you are on probation in my book…
@lichme is adorable…and so is his babydoll…
@mikibell Awwww
Don’t worry, @skemmehs talks a lot of game, but deep down, he just wants to be loved. Send him some flowers, candy, and a teddy bear, and he’ll be yours forever.
@lichme I will take it under advisement…but them be fighting words with which he started this…
…
@skemmehs you are off by one letter for a palindrome…such a missed opportunity…
Write on!
Welcome to the flask.
@skemmehs - Very impressed by your credentials. The Onion helps to keep me sane these days.
Hey @lichme looks like your favorite toy came out to play! It’s Christmas in March for you!
As long as you don’t have to write write-ups for catshirts.
@PlacidPenguin He’s already designed a catshirt.
http://shirt.woot.com/offers/mu
@narfcake @skemmehs
That shirt made me chuckle. Bit many shirts make me do that.
Welcome. You better get over that gif - huh attitude super quick. Just say’n. And when I see your name all I can think of is Skrillex.
As for what you should be thinking…
I love the onion…
for you:
http://www.theonion.com/article/22-year-old-gets-job-at-website-31002
for jason:
http://www.theonion.com/article/man-leaves-position-he-would-kill-3-years-now-purs-55359
@thismyusername
Wait a second. A college graduate actually got a job straight out of college?
This is obviously a lie. Can’t believe The Onion would resort to posting articles which clearly lie.
@PlacidPenguin Plenty of college grads get jobs straight out of college. Who do you think makes all those foofey coffee drinks at Starbucks?
@ruouttaurmind
I don’t go to Starbucks, so…
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@thismyusername
@skemmehs
That “The Onion” thing is nothing but Fake “Fake News”. I don’t trust it.
HAHAHA I saw that username a few days ago, and questioned if it was you. Now I know! Well, it was fun while it lasted. Mark your calendars, meh is no longer only for cool people.
Welcome! It is so awesome you came over to this awesome community. I am around here almost as much as I was on Woot. Hopefully we will see more of our old friends around here.
Welcome to the Dark, uh, Light… eh, the whatever the fuck side (where you can happily say fuck) @skemmehs!
@cinoclav It’s the Meh side, duh
I’m certain I still have some terribly inappropriate gifs of you somewhere. I’m glad I’ll get more opportunity to use them. Good to see you here, @skemmehs!
@skemmehs Do a little self-promotion here and give us some of your greatest hits (or misses if that’s your thing).
Congratulations on getting a flask!
@dashcloud I don’t know if he will, but I did a little research and after finding this I think he’ll fit right in.
@skemmehs
Hey there and welcome. Questions:
Does your writing suck now?
Do you anticipate that your writing will suck in the future?
If there is to be a change in the suckage or your writing, what are some possible triggers for that change, and when do you anticipate that the suckage factor will adjust?
Much thanks. Statistically relevant data would be appreciated. Applying for an NSF grant, you know.
@f00l Yes. Yes. NA.
@skemmehs
And you provided supporting evidence!
I got the grant!
/giphy suckage
OH. MY. GOD. Happy out of all proportion. Embarrassed about it. Suspicious. Weirdly alert. Wondering if I’m dead and this is a LOST-esque afterlife.
Seriously, I was telling my mother about all of this new writer stuff yesterday, and I said “It would be best if it were skemmis but that’s not likely because he has a job. But that would be amazing.” I feel like I pointed with both fingers to indicate how amazing it would be, but that probably didn’t happen because I’m pretty sure I was driving at the time.
@mossygreen Get outta here! You are way way too kind. I’m so happy to be back in this weird fold, d00dz
This puts a REAL crimp in my plans to bring back the lubricore, you know
@slydon That is still my favorite creepy character. Which is saying something, because you’ve played some great ones.
@slydon The Lubricore exists beyond petty intellectual property concerns
To be honest, it’s time’s like this where I regret not being active on the Woot forums.
No clue what’s going on, though it seems that there are feelings about Canadians which should probably be dealt with.
@PlacidPenguin Ya see, the thing with the Canadians is they’re poised to invade right on the other side of the border, but so far, they’ve been too nice to actually go through with the invasion plans.
@LaVikinga
South Park knows.
South Park has always known.
@f00l I was warned years before South Park was a thing. Canadians are all massed within 2 miles of the border, ready to bludgeon Americans with gallon jugs of maple syrup and pelt us into submission with maple candies.
@LaVikinga
I think I’d be killed by an avalanche of apologies.
@f00l
Thankfully I built up an immunity to Canadian apologies.
@LaVikinga If we as a nation ever realize how easily we could destroy the Canadian maple syrup industry with our own, our doom will be sealed before we can start.
@mossygreen I must confess, as a child I would rather have “Mrs. Butterwoman” poured on top of my waffles & pancakes rather than maple syrup. Considering the cost of real maple syrup even way back then, my parents were only too happy to comply.
@LaVikinga You know, if we (as a nation, or a species, or whatever) could accept things as they are instead of what we think they should be, or as a poor imitation of something else, I think we’d be happier. Sure, imitation maple syrup started life as imitation maple syrup, but it’s its own thing now, and no one should be judged for preferring it in one situation or another. There is room for both in the world.
Also: Canadian maple syrup producers keep prices artificially high by limiting supply. They’re basically a tree sap-based OPEC.
@mossygreen My coffee table is made from a horse drawn maple sugar sled (for taking the sap from the tree to the shack to boil it down).
@PlacidPenguin I have no idea either.
I’m sad because I think I posted all my skemmis gifs on the woot tab which shall not be mentioned and are therefore unsearchable.
@medz Some things are best left buried
@medz people still visit the wootalati?
@medz
http://web.archive.org/web/*/deals.woot.com
http://web.archive.org/web/20160729170537/http://deals.woot.com/
@Pantheist if you have to ask, you’ll never know
/giphy bear wave
cheers
SKEMMIS!!!
Welcome bro, glad to have you here. Also, have you shit into a bag lately?
@ACraigL
@skemmehs
Pix or it didn’t happen.
@f00l
@medz Thanks – beat me to it.
I’m gonna call @skemmehs “Don Poncho” from now on
@ACraigL I never shit except in a bag
Skemmis! Oh well there goes the neighborhood. Gald I go by a different user name here than I did at Woot! Seriously though, are you really that desperate? lol-- Welcome
so… I don’t mean to get off on the wrong foot… I mean I’m horrible at the whole writing thing… just look. But that first paragraph was rough reading…
Hi, Welcome, hopefully it’ll be fun reading what you write… I just can’t wait till you go off script (not that you have a script… or maybe it’s more fun when you go on script… meh! Who knows…)
@sohmageek you don’t have to be good at writing to be a “good” writer these days.
@medz “Good” you say?
https://www.amazon.com/Book-Unnecessary-Quotation-Marks-Celebration/dp/0811876454#immersive-view_1489834208880
Welcome to the meh community. Around here we call our sock Glenn.
Now if we are getting a sock deal i suggest a socks that rejected glenn on tinder theme
@CaptAmehrican Wouldn’t that be, like… all of them?
@compunaut exactly that’s how they get all the wierd socks they sell
Welcome back my friend to the show that never ends!
/giphy Welcome!
Welcome to Woot 2.0 @skemmehs.
Worked for the Oninon you say?
How do you feel about The Onion Movie?
@DrunkCat That movie is on a whole 'nother level- funny and far more offensive than anything South Park has ever done.
Welcome, @skemmehs ! You not only need write ups about socks, but should also have some witty responses handy in your pocket on the topic of goats.
@cwolfpack3 and baby arms - where the heck is that thing anyway? Haven’t seen it in meh product deal pics for a while…
@cwolfpack3 @skemmehs is still on probation in my book…so the goat quips better be nice!
@skemmehs yea! baby arm tonight
OH SNAP. IT’S SAM.
Apologies if no one says ‘oh snap’ anymore, sometimes my emotions bubble close to the surface.
@Kidsandliz
@PlacidPenguin ??? message was blank. Or was this to get me to this thread to see who isn’t using baby arms LOL
@Kidsandliz
You said you weren’t paying attention when the new writer was introduced, so I brought this here.