Somewhere around 24 horse’s hooves tall, depending on the horse.
[Hoomans measure horses in hands, so horses measure hoomans in hooves. Fair turnabout?]

Once upon a time, back when the world was young (or at least I was), when I was in graduate school in chemistry, we used to enjoy converting various things into odd measures. Barleycorns and poppyseeds as I recall were popular. Interestingly to me at any rate, I read that barleycorns are still used as a unit of shoe size in some parts of the world.

Since another favorites from the past, viz., Angstroms has already been used along with cans of beer, curtsies, horse hooves, light years, license plates, buckets of cat litter, Dodge Challenger wheelbases, Quark^quarks, Jason Stathams, and caffeine molecules, I decided to push the frontiers of silliness a bit further with an exhaustive list of arcane and obscure English or Imperial units. Note: the shaftment has previously been covered by @mehcuda67

Over the decades owing to age and a severe back injury, I have shrunk in height from 5’ 8.5” to my current 5’ 7.5”, which is:

or switching scales 19.722°C, 292.872°K, or ~527°R

I used the excellent chart by Christoph Päper found on Wikipedia under the heading “Barleycorn (unit)” from which I quickly constructed a conversion table in Excel to produce the above list.

To convert inches to twips per inch divide by 0.000694444, points per inch divide by 0.013888889, picas per inch divide by 0.166666667, lines per inch divide by 0.083333333, poppyseeds per inch divide by 0.083333333, barleycorns per inch divide by 0.333333333, inches per inch divide by 1, feet per inch divide by 12, yards per inch divide by 36, sticks per inch divide by 2, nails per inch divide by 0.875, fingers per inch divide by 0.75, digits per inch divide by 3, palms per inch divide by 3, hands per inch divide by 4, shaftments per inch divide by 6, spans per inch divide by 9, cubits per inch divide by 18, ells per inch divide by 45, skeins per inch divide by 4320, spindles per inch divide by 518400, paces per inch divide by 30, grades per inch divide by 60, mile Romans per inch divide by 60000, ropes per inch divide by 240, fathoms per inch divide by 72, shackles per inch divide by 864, cables per inch divide by 7200, mile nauticals per inch divide by 72000, leagues per inch divide by 21600, links per inch divide by 7.92, rod, pole, perchs per inch divide by 198, chain Gunters per inch divide by 792, chain Ramsdens per inch divide by 1200, furlongs per inch divide by 7920, and statute miles per inch divide by 63360.

Well according to my medical records my height has a 4.62 inch range over 2 months, growing taller and shrinking from visit then back taller again then shrinking over and over. And yet magically I was never actually measured any of those times. So in imaginary measurements I am as tall as you want?

@medz Size 13 shoe isn’t that impressive. Keep in mind that shoe size doesn’t mean inches. Going from a size 11 to a size 13 adult men’s shoe is only a 0.625 inch difference.

A size 8 shoe is 9.9375" and a size 13 shoe is 11.5625". So a person wearing a large size 13 shoe is only 1.625 inch longer than a small size 8 shoe.

I had a friend give me a good idea that I thought was funny.

He said the next time you get pulled over for speeding and the cop comes up to your window and asks, “Do you know how fast you were going?” Instead of saying 70 miles per hour, you say something like 188,160 furlongs per fortnight. Watch the confusion on the cops face – priceless.

@cengland0 Look in the mirror to see the dismay on your face as the cop writes the ticket for being a speeding smart ass.

If you happen to be non-white, the next thing you will see is the bullet(s) reserved for non-white, speeding smart asses. Sad but all too common these days.

I’m roughly 18.33~ Twinkies tall.

992 stacked pennies.

@lisaviolet Seems like you’d lose a bit of stature when you put your two cents in.

/giphy dad jokes

I was told they don’t stack it that high.

@cattylaq what’s that? Rubber ducks? Qtips?

@cattylaq @Targaryen Rancid bear grease?

Seven protein powder containers high.

/giphy jacked

What would it take to write up a / command to convert measurements into a

~~useless~~useful standard like (the thickness of) trackr pixels?@narfcake It can’t be that hard. Here’s one that converts to Lego units.

@gt0163c @narfcake That’s cool!

I’m as tall as a 2012 Honda Fury is long.

Or 322 TrackR Pixels …

about 595 CR2032 batteries stacked flat

60.9 attoparsecs.

I’m somewhere around 12 purple Sharpies tall.

@Barney How many bottles of Heinz EZ-Squirt is that?

I am on C. C. tall which worked out great when we were dating and she let me play certain games.

0.00845958 furlongs

and my car is about 8 raccoons, or 1.3 rhinos long.

(give or take 1/10th of rhino depending on what kind)

@carl669 or the length of the rhino horn. Right?

One rhinoceros tall!

I’m about 4.5 irk bags tall (not counting the handle).

@remo28

how many if you count the handles?

@cattylaq about 2.5. The handles add about a foot.

I’m 0.000000005846044 light seconds tall.

I am about 43 Echo Dots tall.

About 2.4 cats tall

I’m 284 stroopwaffels tall and may or may not have eaten half my height in stroopwaffels as well.

KuoH

70.455% of the wheel base of a 1971 Dodge Challenger.

I’m 1 Jason Statham Tall.

and 1 Peter Dinklage around

or

11.5 License Plates Tall, and 4.3 license Plates Around

@earlyre oh Jason Statham is the perfect package!

/giphy Jason Statham

I’m 1/1000th of a mile tall.

Quark^(quark) tall

@f00l

/image quark ferangi

@unksol

I’m up and down about it. My range is all the way from the bottom to the top.

And sometimes I might show a little charm.

But, mostly, am just kinda strange.

@f00l checks out sounds like (a) quark

@f00l @unksol

I hear quarks are into threesomes.

/giphy Seinfeld orgy friends

@mike808 @unksol

/giphy three somme

1.9373040E−16 light year

@2many2no or 1.14300228E35 Planck lengths tall

Turns out I am

exactlyone curtise tall!@curtise

https://shirt.woot.com/offers/actual-size

Somewhere around 24 horse’s hooves tall, depending on the horse.

[Hoomans measure horses in hands, so horses measure hoomans in hooves. Fair turnabout?]

Apparently I’m about 11.3 shaftment.

Just cause it’s a great sounding unit of measure.

A more modern measure though, would be 17,272,000,000 ångströms, which makes me feel tall.

Just wanted to keep things light.

I am 2312025790 and a half caffeine molecules tall. If you stack them up the long way.

5.2 buckets of cat litter. Cause sometimes that’s just how things need measured

I’m not sure what scale to choose.

https://www.themeasureofthings.com/

I am 16 coffee mugs tall

I am exactly 1 Subaru Crosstrek tall.

@rockblossom I’d like to check this out with my height, may I borrow your Crosstrek?

@Barney You can borrow mine. But it’s blue, not purple.

@heartny That’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

I am about 3.8889 cubits tall. (Although when I was younger, I was closer to 3.9444.)

Once upon a time, back when the world was young (or at least I was), when I was in graduate school in chemistry, we used to enjoy converting various things into odd measures. Barleycorns and poppyseeds as I recall were popular. Interestingly to me at any rate, I read that barleycorns are still used as a unit of shoe size in some parts of the world.

Since another favorites from the past, viz., Angstroms has already been used along with cans of beer, curtsies, horse hooves, light years, license plates, buckets of cat litter, Dodge Challenger wheelbases, Quark^quarks, Jason Stathams, and caffeine molecules, I decided to push the frontiers of silliness a bit further with an exhaustive list of arcane and obscure English or Imperial units. Note: the shaftment has previously been covered by @mehcuda67

Over the decades owing to age and a severe back injury, I have shrunk in height from 5’ 8.5” to my current 5’ 7.5”, which is:

<ul>

202.5 barleycorns

67.5 inches

5.625 feet

1.875 yards

33.75 sticks

77.14285714 nails

90 fingers

22.5 digits

22.5 palms

16.875 hands

11.25 shaftments

7.5 spans

3.75 cubits

1.5 ells

0.015625 skeins

0.000130208 spindles

2.25 paces

1.125 grades

0.001125 Roman miles

0.28125 ropes

0.9375 fathoms

0.078125 shackles

0.009375 cables

0.0009375 nautical miles

0.003125 leagues

8.522727273 links

0.340909091 rods, pole, perchs

0.085227273 Gunter’s chains

0.05625 Ramsden’s chain

0.008522727 furlongs

0.001065341 statute miles

</ul>

or switching scales 19.722°C, 292.872°K, or ~527°R

I used the excellent chart by Christoph Päper found on Wikipedia under the heading “Barleycorn (unit)” from which I quickly constructed a conversion table in Excel to produce the above list.

To convert inches to twips per inch divide by 0.000694444, points per inch divide by 0.013888889, picas per inch divide by 0.166666667, lines per inch divide by 0.083333333, poppyseeds per inch divide by 0.083333333, barleycorns per inch divide by 0.333333333, inches per inch divide by 1, feet per inch divide by 12, yards per inch divide by 36, sticks per inch divide by 2, nails per inch divide by 0.875, fingers per inch divide by 0.75, digits per inch divide by 3, palms per inch divide by 3, hands per inch divide by 4, shaftments per inch divide by 6, spans per inch divide by 9, cubits per inch divide by 18, ells per inch divide by 45, skeins per inch divide by 4320, spindles per inch divide by 518400, paces per inch divide by 30, grades per inch divide by 60, mile Romans per inch divide by 60000, ropes per inch divide by 240, fathoms per inch divide by 72, shackles per inch divide by 864, cables per inch divide by 7200, mile nauticals per inch divide by 72000, leagues per inch divide by 21600, links per inch divide by 7.92, rod, pole, perchs per inch divide by 198, chain Gunters per inch divide by 792, chain Ramsdens per inch divide by 1200, furlongs per inch divide by 7920, and statute miles per inch divide by 63360.

@Jackinga Okay, so I’m 373.65494368 minions tall.

These minions.

Not these.

[2]:

@Kyeh I just found out that I am 13,500 AWG 36 tall (non-stranded, non-insulated). (AWG - American Wire Gauge)

Well according to my medical records my height has a 4.62 inch range over 2 months, growing taller and shrinking from visit then back taller again then shrinking over and over. And yet magically I was never actually measured any of those times. So in imaginary measurements I am as tall as you want?

@Kidsandliz Alice, is that you???

@Kidsandliz @Kyeh

13.2854 average erect USA penises (according to a 2013 study)

@medz don’t feel like doing the measuring/math. And you know. Big hands big feet. Be off anyway

@unksol I wear size 13 shoes. Above average, indeed. Height and shoe size, that is.

@medz

@medz Size 13 shoe isn’t that impressive. Keep in mind that shoe size doesn’t mean inches. Going from a size 11 to a size 13 adult men’s shoe is only a 0.625 inch difference.

A size 8 shoe is 9.9375" and a size 13 shoe is 11.5625". So a person wearing a large size 13 shoe is only 1.625 inch longer than a small size 8 shoe.

@cengland0 impressive, no. Above average, yup.

@medz @unksol You know what they say…

I’m 1.13433 smoots tall.

@algae1221 but how many Hawleys is that?

@djslack I don’t know, how tall was he?

I do know that 1.13433 smoots is the same a 1 Abraham Lincoln.

I had a friend give me a good idea that I thought was funny.

He said the next time you get pulled over for speeding and the cop comes up to your window and asks, “Do you know how fast you were going?” Instead of saying 70 miles per hour, you say something like 188,160 furlongs per fortnight. Watch the confusion on the cops face – priceless.

@cengland0 then tasered

@cengland0 Look in the mirror to see the dismay on your face as the cop writes the ticket for being a speeding smart ass.

If you happen to be non-white, the next thing you will see is the bullet(s) reserved for non-white, speeding smart asses. Sad but all too common these days.

I’m about 207 Lego studs tall.

@gt0163c so you are a real stud?

I’m 1.1 Danny Devito’s tall.