@mcemanuel

@awk You not only beat me to it, you said it more eloquently.

@andyw That’s par for the coarse in these write-ups. Speling & grammer aint whut theys used to be writer-aspiration-wise.

@andyw @phendrick they should just fire all the writers and use chatgpt. maybe they have already?

Title: Meh-raculous Coffee Grinder: Because Life’s Too Short for Bland Coffee!

Subtitle: Unleash the true power of caffeine with this absurdly convenient contraption!

Introduction:

Hey, fellow coffee enthusiasts, or should we say, beanheads? Are you tired of the mundane coffee that’s been sitting in your pantry for God knows how long? Well, it’s about time you stopped torturing your taste buds and jumped aboard the Meh Coffee Grinder train! Our snazzy little coffee grinder is here to save you from the dreaded clutches of pre-ground coffee mediocrity. Why bother with dull store-bought grounds when you can grind your own and become the ultimate coffee snob you’ve always aspired to be?

Features:

Adjustable grind settings: Meh Coffee Grinder is so versatile it's almost obnoxious. From espresso to French press, we've got your back. Watch your coffee-loving friends turn green with envy as you boast about your custom grind settings.

Fancy-schmancy conical burrs: This grinder's got a conical burr system so good, it's practically snooty. Say goodbye to inconsistent grounds and burnt bean flavors, and say hello to a smug sense of coffee superiority.

Quiet yet speedy: Our Meh Coffee Grinder is quieter than a ninja on tiptoe. It grinds beans at lightning speed without waking up your grouchy roommate. You can now enjoy your caffeine fix in peace.

Adorably compact: This little space-saving miracle is so compact, it could practically fit in your pocket (although we don't recommend trying that). It's perfect for cramped kitchens and caffeine-craving globetrotters alike.

Stupidly easy to clean: Cleaning is a breeze, just like your newfound coffee experience. Detach the grinding chamber, give it a rinse, and you're done. Now you can spend more time sipping and less time scrubbing.

Special Offer:

If you act fast, you can snag our Meh Coffee Grinder at a 10% discount! So, put down that sad sack of pre-ground coffee and click “buy now.” But don’t dawdle – this offer won’t last forever, and FOMO is real.

Conclusion:

Wake up, coffee snobs-in-training! It’s time to unleash your inner barista with the Meh Coffee Grinder. With its wide range of grind settings, pretentious conical burr system, and adorably compact design, you’ll be wondering why you didn’t buy this sooner. Rush over to https://meh.com and grab this deal before it’s gone! Your taste buds will owe you big time.

@vaticdart what’s the difference between this and the barrtsa?

@chiefbigbong @vaticdart about $100

@chiefbigbong @thenagman @vaticdart beat me to it.

@chiefbigbong @mehcuda67 @thenagman @vaticdart I mean, hardy har, but realistically grind consistency and not getting that fine powder buildup right below the burrs that turns into sludge in a French press .

@chiefbigbong @highonpez @mehcuda67 @thenagman @vaticdart the Encore is also built to last. I’ve had mine for 5 or 6 years, and it was used off of craigslist to begin with.

@chiefbigbong @highonpez @mehcuda67 @thenagman @vaticdart it also has ridiculously simple user interface (on/off switch), and is easily serviced.

@chiefbigbong @highonpez @j37hr0 @mehcuda67 @thenagman @vaticdart That’s what she said.

@djslack Enjoy it in HD.

@djslack @jason_fox Michael Bay’s best film, by far.
And I’m not even saying this as a Michael Bay joke.

@hchavers This, exactly.

@MrNews I also use a hand-cranked Kyocera ceramic burr grinder. Once I got it adjusted to my taste, it produces a nicely consistent grind for the Aeropress. The time to hand grind the beans for 1 cup of coffee is just a few seconds less than the time to heat 12 oz of water to the preferred brewing temperature. Then the time for the Aeropress to do its thing is about the same as the time to toast a bagel. Serendipity!

@macromeh Yes, there is a Zen to hand-grinding coffee beans. I often bob my head like Kevin Costner in “Dances with Wolves.” And having been to Kyoto once, long ago, I sometimes feel the connection…

@macromeh @MrNews I used to have a ceramic burr grinder (a Hario Skerton) and I just want to say, hand grinder technology has come a long way in the last 5 years or so. For the sake of your arms/wrists/&c., I strongly recommend getting a steel burr grinder from the likes of Timemore or 1zpresso. The difference going from my Skerton to my Chestnut C2 is astounding.

@qazxto IMO, Aeropress is the best first step into the world beyond traditional drip. You could also try French Press, but while I enjoyed the flavor of my FP, I found it was using a lot more beans to achieve the same results I was getting out of my Aeropress - also… Aeropress is far less messy, easier cleanup, and you get the pleasurable experience of popping the compressed puck out after each cup.

So, from a total cost of ownership/operation perspective, I’d say you should go with Aeropress first. There are many different recipes and techniques you can play with - and if you find it’s not what you’re looking for then you can move on to a different method.

@qazxto once you get the proportions right nothing beats an aeropress.

@qazxto The single most important thing you can do to improve your coffee (regardless of brew method) is to buy freshly roasted beans (no more than two weeks from roasted) and grind them just before brewing. If the coffee you’re looking at doesn’t show the actual roasting date on the bag, then it’s not what you want. My local supermarket is fairly ritzy and only has one brand that shows the date and then they proceed to keep it for a couple months so you have to keep an eye out for when a fresh batch comes in if you want fresh. Thankfully, we also have a large coffee mill nearby that has nice offerings too, but my very favorite stuff has to be mail-ordered. If, like most people, it takes you over a couple weeks to consume a pound or two of coffee then simply divide it into 2-4 day portions and vacuum seal each one and store the pouches in the freezer. I’ve had beans stay fresh for months this way (espresso shots with gobs of tiger-striped crema and all) and it’s the only way I can justify buying pricier beans. Let them thaw completely to room temp before opening or the condensation will ruin them.

I once thought all of this was snooty pretentious stuff, and it definitely can be, but now that I’m years into this, and even play around with roasting my own beans (from green beans) and with every brew method under the sun, I can say that still, fresh roasted beans is the single biggest upgrade anyone should go for. Even with a basic grinder as being offered here on meh today (which is probably not going to be ideal for espresso, much less Turkish brewing) you’ll easily jump to the top 5% of coffees offered in your town by buying fresh and grinding pre-brew.

The thing with freshness is not that any older coffee will be “bad”, but rather that it will be far from its peak. The best analogy I can think of is baked bread. There’s bread out there that keeps for weeks and people happily eat yummy sandwiches every day with it and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, but when you have bread closer and closer to when it was baked, it’s just that much better. The ideal experience, of course , is fresh baked bread still warm from the oven, right? But who has time for that every day? Well, coffee that is 2-14 days from roasting is that fresh-outta-the-oven equivalent in bread terms. Older won’t kill you nor make you gag, but it’s just jot as good.

Oh, and don’t mind going after better and better. It really shouldn’t ruin other offerings for you. Just because you have a dry-aged steak at a white tablecloth restaurant one day doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a burger at your neighbors cookout or even at McD’s ever again. I still enjoy even gas station stuff in a pinch since the context (time constraints, budget, desperation, and most importantly who you are with) matters the most. HTH

@qazxto We have had a Bonavita coffee maker for years. Great quality drip maker that has a quick brew time. Agree that freshly roasted and ground is the way to go. Since I started roasting at home it is hard to order coffee out.

@qazxto the biggest downside to an aeropress is that you’re essentially making one cup at a time. You can do two, but if you want a pot of coffee you need a different way (or you have to brew a concentrate and add more water after). Other than that, it’s awesome because you have full control over every part of the process so you can see what the different things you do change in your cup at the end.

If you want something more like a pot of coffee, look into a French press. It’s still not a massive pot but a 1L press will give you 3-4 cups of coffee depending on what you call a cup.

Also a fun fact, the Aeropress was invented by the same guy that invented the Aerobie. It’s like he knew what I wanted both as a kid and as an adult.

If you’re looking to buy an Aeropress, check out walmart’s website. They have a good price right now and you’ll get everything you need to start including quite a few filters.

VAN GOGH! MANGO! TANGO! AWESOME!

@jester747 @qazxto I agree with this entire exposition. Fresh beans, fresh bread: now you’re living like a 20th century Parisian.
I just ordered from this new service, Wildgrain. They ship you freshly made, uncooked, frozen bread, pastry, pasta, etc. every month or so, and you bake it when ready. Mostly sourdough, no hyper-processed ingredients, and 4 free croissants with every order. A bit pricey, but worth it (to me).

@qazxto Agree with the comments about fresh beans! That is essential for the best coffee. Once you have that foundation established, you can start to dabble with brewing techniques and devices. I do like the aforementioned Aeropress for travel purposes. But for home use, pour-over is hard to beat. Fittingly, my very first purchase on this wormhole we can Meh, was a electric pour-over by Motif. Highly recommend! The Bonavita is a sister brand that is probably easier to procure now. Enjoy!

@qazxto good advice all around. as soon as you go past “I’m ok with any coffee that doesn’t taste like butt”, not to mention “I want to drink great coffee”, you’re entering a black hole. For someone just entering specialty coffee, I would strongly recommend The Clever Dripper, or the Hario Switch. This style of immersion brewing is far and away the most forgiving and easily consistent way of brewing freshly roasted beans of any particular roast level. You can get away with mistakes that would ruin your cup on a V60 or Aeropress. You can also use either one as a traditional pour-over when you’re interested. As you go, if you want to avoid lots of you tube watching and poor to middling cups, get a book written recently. I recommend Hoffman’s “How to Make the Best Coffee at Home”. Don’t watch his youtube, just read the book. Rant over.

@qazxto @sugarbeard … But also watch his YouTube, so then you can watch the Hames Joffman YouTube channel. It’s got a very Meh style of humor.

@steelopus FWIW, I would.

@mehvid1 What’s holding me back is I have a hand grinder that works well… and I barely use it. I’m not sure I’d use an electric grinder more often because it’s “easier” or if it would just sit there taking up my very-limited counter space and get used equally infrequently.

@steelopus DO IT!!!

/giphy do it

@formfeed I’m going to try it. Does the grinder plate come right off or does it have a keyway/allen screw?

@pskemp2 I don’t know about this model. And amazon has several cusinart grinders under the same listing, so reviews are mixed for all of them.
The hack works with several flat-burr grinders, where you can unscrew the hopper. Usually some Philips screws hold the grinder plate. The shim needs holes for these screws and any support pins.
With this model: I don’t know. And I would have to see how it looks with the hopper off to know whether it works.
A reasonable good instruction:

• except, I wouldn’t stack aluminum foil (and washers are way too thick, once the grinder plates touch, the machine is garbage).

Good adjustment shims: aluminum duct tape (thin, but more than foil). beer can (0.12mm), or thicker: aluminum flashing (I think 0.2-0.25mm , 1/100").
I made a template with a hole saw and two wooden boards, put the aluminum in between and cut it with the saw in reverse.

@werehatrack Rule 34 covers the coffee machine repairman.

Something went terribly wrong. Please try again.

@dmwelch61 I show your order has shipped and is due for delivery Thursday 3/30. You got a cancellation email?

@dmwelch61 @troy I am still waiting for the exciting conclusion to this story.