@rcornick Yeah I have a couple of toilet bowl drinkers so I keep the lid down, 2 of whom also drink from facets (their preferred approach, secondarily a cat water fountain). Another one drinks water from anything I leave in the sink. I finally gave that up and put a cat water bowl in the sink, covering the other side, where dirty dishes congregate all day, with a cutting board.
@Alereon I’m with you. I don’t need a stream of cold water hitting my donut first thing in the morning. If there were a way to get warm water to it, I’d probably buy it.
@Fuzzalini You could always plumb it to the hot water line if co-located to your sink. Realistically, cold water is more like room temperature water for the first minute or so anyway.
Luke
Luke joined us 1007 days ago on July 9th, 2014.
Luke isn’t sure about this whole meh thing having placed 0 orders,
clicked the meh button 1 time, and voted in 0 polls.
In the forum, Luke is a ghost with 0 topics created, 0 comments, and 0
replies. Luke is just as inert when it comes to handing out likes to
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SURE YOU DID. And besides, he clearly didn’t buy a bidet (or anything else for that matter) from Meh.
I got a different brand about two months ago. Highly recommend it. Especially at an almost “eh, why not?” price.
Do suggest the self-cleaning one, too.
I’ve had a BioBidet for several years, it’s pretty awesome. Got spoiled by the automated toilets in Japan, but in an apartment, it’s tough to hook up power and all that, so these are a good compromise. Maybe not so great if you live where the tap water gets really cold in the winter, I’d speculate.
I got a tankless one on that other shopping site that always puts their bidets in “Tools & Garden”. I’ve got 3 now, and have put in outlets near all my toilets so that I can eventually put them on all my toilets. They’re not cheap, so you can’t do it all at one time.
I have owned a very similar model for two years and now push others to buy them. I also give them as Christmas presents. Buy it, install it, then wonder how you have lived this long without one.
EDIT: I live in Wisconsin and cold water has never been an issue. Worst case scenario is it gives you a little jump start in the morning.
Why the hell not, I’ve been considering getting one for years, and at $22, it’s a pretty low commitment… though I get the feeling that if we like it, the wife will have me running power and upgrading to a Toto before next winter
These things are game changers. You’ll also save money because you’ll use less toilet paper.
It truly is one of those things where you will wonder how you lived without it. And then anytime you have to use a toilet without one, you’ll feel so dirty.
@elpepe Typically, pressure. Pro tip: NEVER, EVER, EVER START AT FULL PRESSURE. Unless you want to know what poop smells like from the back of your nose.
Nice, I have had two bidets going on two years now and love em. It can be a little chilly on cold winter mornings but no Biggy. Funny thing is my girlfriend ( well my ex girlfriend/baby momma starting two days ago) is part French and I’m the only one that ever uses them… Its nice to be clean…
If you ever try this, you will never go back! Like going from cable internet to dial up…read the reviews, I LOVE mine, different mfg, got it on Amazon, but at this price, pull the trigger.
@BGreider I’m quite certain that going back to dial-up would not be good for my sanity nor for my computer components as they suddenly were given flying lessons.
I guess I will trade one of the old bidets out for this new model (diligent-uber-owl) kinda like my exgirlfriend/baby momma. I knew I could find humor in this/it somewhere.
I think this is a good start to someone who wants to try it out without flushing down a few Franklins. Even in the middle of winter the cold water is just a split-second shock. Also pays for itself in the TP you save, or you can start splurging on the good stuff.
@DMO I laughed, I cried, I had to go to the bathroom. (Very good point if you have kids in the house, too. I would have been one of those kids launching his action figures across the bathroom.)
Been using them since the 90s when I got a Toto Washlet. All our toilets have them now. They are absolutely brilliant and the thought of smearing shit around with paper is just primitive to me now.
This isn’t attitude, I’m willing to bet that people that have bidet seats know what I mean. Would you just finish your crap and then wipe your hands with paper? No, you wash them.
@droopus We have 2 Toto units as well. The only problem is I don’t want to leave the house. I am on vacation now and already have anxiety about my first job away from home.
Ask and Meh shall deliver! I was shopping on Amazon for one last night for the downstairs toilet and forgot to checkout. Really looking forward to my ISP sharing all of my browsing history so this happens more often in the future.
Man…you just have to try this to know what you have been missing. These are truly one of the greatest invention ever. I have been using biobidet for few years and it is great. U don’t need warm water as u get room temp…water even in cold climate. Great value at Meh.
We’ve had a Bio Bidet Elite 3 which is pretty similar but has a second nozzle for cleaning lady parts for a couple years now (wife tried that part, she said it’s OK but doesn’t use it much but loves the normal function). Now when we travel I dread using regular toilets. After using a bidet for a long time and not needing to use TP as much the 1 ply most places have is like sand paper to my bum.
I will say the “self-cleaning” feature on these things is a joke. When you operate it normally to wash your bum the water pressure pushes the nozzle out so it sprays a stream of water at your bunghole with laser accuracy. When you use the self-cleaning feature all it does is keep the nozzle retracted so it sprays the inside of the tube the nozzle sits in which is pretty useless. Meanwhile the outside of the nozzle area will collect all sorts of fun stuff and is a pain in the ass (fnarr fnarr) to keep clean. Bottom line, if you go months between toilet cleanings like we do it’s gonna get gross.
A Danish friend of mine installed a bidet in his bathroom. When he showed it to me, he said:
“Not only are Americans assholes. They are dirty assholes.”
Just what I need: a new thing to be fastidious about. Listen, the difference between my butt and my arm is that even if I rinse it with water it’s still my butt and therefore still dirty.
@Felyne If you’re only using it on occasion, and for short periods, your 15 seconds of bidet water will likely be room/wall temperature water, not 40F ground temperature…
I get that these would be better than toilet paper alone, but how do they compare to flushable wipes?
I mean, unless it’s like a high pressure spray, I don’t feel like it would blast all the poo off. A flushable wipe can really scoop it off/out of there. I think I would just be left with wet poo that I have to use toilet paper to remove.
(i mean aside from not having to buy more wipes & aside from the people that insist wipes clog up the works. i want to know about ease of use & cleanliness or other preference i hadn’t thought of re: wipes vs. bidet.)
@jerk_nugget@medz there is a reason why you can just wipe instead of washing it already. Poop is not a solid to begin with, it is already wet. You can wash it off easily if it hasn’t dried up and caked to your skin. -Source, am parent
@thevoiss Sure, but wiping wet stuff on a non-flat surface can be tricky. Applying the pressure necessary with toilet paper can cause the paper to break apart and get small pieces left behind in crevasses. Flushable wipes hold together better in such conditions, but that’s why they’re worse for your plumbing.
Think about it like trying to wipe Nutella off of this:
That’s gonna take a lot of wiping to get it clean.
@medz “Flushable” wipes are a misnomer-- Just because they are flushable and won’t clog doesn’t mean they breakdown and disintegrate the way paper does. They end up in waste treatment centers and screw things up. Plus, the chemicals in the the wipes are bad for you and lead to a irritation/can only use wipes dependency.
@medz OR just give that nutella covered thing to a toddler. It will then be easier to wipe the nutella off the toddler plus some of it will be gone (The nutella, not the toddler). Problem solved.
I bought one of these about a year ago and loved it. But the typically lazy american I am I wanted more. So I upgraded to the USPA 6800 from the same company ( heated seat, Heated water, Massage and so much more) I cant even stand going to the bathroom some where else.
Life is like a bowl of cherries. But in this case, more like a bowl of S**t.
This bidet debate is intriguing. Strangely, I have been flush with bidet thoughts for the last few months. Ever since my brother, who is 6’ 7" biker type but with a PhD, told me he installed a bidet in his master bath. I was flabbergasted. He went on to tell me how much better his ass feels. I really didn’t want to know about that and I haven’t really recovered from the thoughts of wondering if my ass should be treated better. I really hadn’t thought much about my ass before and wish I didn’t have to now.
I had almost put the thought of my ass care behind me. I’m not sure if Sigmund Freud would agree, butt, I think your ass should be left behind much like many of the products meh offers every day. Last night I cancelled my vmp after several months of paying and not buying anything. You’re welcome, Meh. I hesitated and hovered over the cancel button for several minutes thinking “as soon as I cancel my vmp, something awesome is going to show up on meh tomorrow.” Well, here it is tomorrow, and of all things, a bidet shows up on meh. Now all I can think about is my ass care and the thought that I no longer am a vmp member and can never get it back. I’m going to go home tonight, run a garden hose through my bathroom window and get my bidet on. FU meh!
@accelerator Or buy a two way connector with a switching lever (these are descriptive and not technical words, I am not a plumber) for your bathroom sink, some flexible hosing with appropriate connectors at both ends, a piece of pipe, maybe J shaped for ease of use, that fits the connectors and bingo - you have one and it has warm water too.
Been shitting on the fence for years, ever since I saw the add-on Toto Washlet and knew I had to try a bidet. Butt I never got around to pulling the trigger. Until today. I can’t wait to feel that cold-ass stream washing away the tiny remains of yesterday’s meatloaf from twixt my nethers. yawny-windy-basket
For a cheap cold-water bidet, these are pretty decent. I bought a similar one with hot and cold and self cleaning.
A few things:
It’s not a $200-$900 Toto that massages your ass, heats the seat, drys your bum, plays music,etc. But for $22 it’s not a bad experiment and might save you that on toilet paper in a year. Consider it a gateway ass blaster… If you really like it, but a nicer one. (Just be warned that the nice ones require electricity nearby your toilet - and probably a GFCI by code)
This one has a metal braided line and T-connector. Super easy to connect, and not a big worry that it’ll flood your house. Many of the sub-$100 ones have plastic lines that start leaking over time. The T-connector and quick release also make it very easily reversible
Since you only really need this for ~15 seconds at a time, the water will realistically be room temperature (more specifically, wall temperature) in the time you use it. Non-electric models with hot &cold water lines have the same problem (it might take a few minutes for enough hot water to make it upstairs), so in short-- the cold water only ones are just fine, and easier to plumb
The self cleaning is a bit of a joke-- consider it a ‘self rinsing’ mode. However, when you clean your toilet and want to clean the nozzle by hand (pulling it down, manually), the self clean makes rinsing much easier (you can pull the nozzle down and clean by hand).
I put one in my guest bathroom, typical scenario for a weekend visitor–
Friday) What’s that contraption in the bathroom ?
Saturday) I tried that contraption. It’s ‘interesting’.
Sunday) How much do those cost?
Well I’ve wanted a bidet for a long time, but between the price and the tendency of my guy friends to make a mess in the bathroom I have held off. The positive posts pushed me to finally get my err…ahem…feet wet. I just hope the installation doesn’t require more skills than I can muster. gaping-damned-manager (sounds like a boss I once had)
@moondrake Should only need an adjustable wrench-- The nozzles retract, so even if your male friends have terrible aim, they shouldn’t be able to dirty up the nozzle.
$16-22 is cheap. I bought a $50 one, it has two different nozzles so depending on your preferences, you might like one over the other. They spray at different angles and have a different number of holes in the nozzle.
I always find it funny that people are so grossed out about bidets. It’s just a little water. I actually had a friend tell me that he won’t let anything but toilet paper touch his ass because he’s not gay. Mkay, whatever. That’s not what makes you gay, but suit yourself.
I’m tempted to buy this as a gift for someone that visits my house and uses way too much toilet paper.
My dog will love this, but (pun intended)[ass! Mo pun from a demented meh fake ghost member] I, actually, got this for my Mother. Every damned time she takes a takes a crap it hurts to wipe her 92 year ass clean so…, I’m not wiping it 4 her!!
@brymell2 You gather a cup full of water in your mouth, then blow it into the end of the tube. This air pressure forces the water from your mouth through the tube and out the spray nozzle onto your bum. You can also use mouthwash for an extra clean sensation.
I hope Meh accepted my cancellation request so somebody else can get the two I ordered last night in a vodka-fueled haze. Cancelled this morning when Minnesota reality dawned on me.
Helped install one for a friend and thought, ‘self, you should get one…one day’. Now I shall have one and no longer be gross. Though, now I can cut down on baby wipes.
Got mine today and installed it right away. Seems like it takes as much toilet paper to dry my butt as I used before though. How long before I start feeling superior?
@LankHairdoo Right around the time you realize you’re drying vice wiping… and everyone around you has a poo smeared rear. And oh god, how do those animals live that way? Worse than animals, animals at least lick themselves. Oh god, that’s worse. HOW IS THIS NOT A THING, AM I THE ONLY SANE PERSON HERE!?
Got mine in the mail today. Going to look on you tube and see if I can find an installation video. I am very reluctant to tackle a plumbing job on my own.
@moondrake I chose to share this video not only because it’s the shortest and most to the point, but because the company’s logo cracked me up at the end.
It does neglect to point out that you should flush the toilet until all the water is out of the tank (you may need to hold the handle down) and position a bowl or small bucket to catch the drops as you disconnect the supply hose. Other than that, it’s pretty much that simple.
@djslack Unfortunately that video is for a different model, the hose is different. A little wire came out of the bent end and will not go back in, so the hose just falls off.
@djslack Thanks! I posted this while my friend was struggling with it. He managed to finagle the wire back into place and after several tries got it set up. It’s working now but he warned me to keep an eye for leaks. I’m very pleased with the performance.
Mine arrived, installed about 20 minutes ago. Installation took maybe 30 minutes of fiddling.
First use:
Gold Five: Stabilize your rear deflectors…
Gold Five: Stay on target.
Gold Leader: We’re too close!
Gold Five: Stay on target!
Gold Leader: [shouts] Loosen up!
[he too is picked off by Vader]
…
Gold Five: They came from… behind!
Got it today and installed it. Installation was easy once I figured out how to completely shut off the water to the toilet. Turns out the in line shut off doesn’t completely shut it off… Gotta love apartment life…
But I powered through it and shut it off at the source and got it installed real quick. I love that this model has all metal connections, it just feels sturdier than plastic would.
After verifying it works by shooting my fiance in the crotch with water, I was satisfied with the install. I used it and I gotta tell you, this thing must have a laser sight or something because it’s aim was spot on! The self cleaning function worked well too and I’m glad it’s included with this model.
It was my first time using a bidet and it really… woke me up! I only used it on the lightest setting and it was like a jet stream! I hope I never have a situation down there where I need to use the strongest setting…
@MrMikenIkes Got mine as well, can confirm that it took me about 15 minutes to install, most of which was spent unscrewing/screwing the toilet seat.
I was also surprised by the uncalibrated accuracy… my previous experience has been with dedicated bidets (that have a tilty nozzle heady thing) or handheld hoses.
@MrMikenIkes Installed ours last night. Never used one before and got to say - why did I wait so long? It works perfectly and man, do you feel clean afterwards. Hope they offer it again so I can buy one for my parents.
Be careful on the install/post. The connector hose completely separated from its 7/8th connector at the unit when I turned the water on. Looks to be a cheap connector that’s fallen completely apart. If this happens while you aren’t home, you’re coming back to an indoor pool. Have to go to the hardware store to replace this part before I can get it working.
Installed mine yesterday, and had to wait a few hours before I needed to use it. Re-friggin-freshing! I almost wanted to eat a bunch of fiber at breakfast just to move things along for another round. I agree with the previous comments - the factory-calibrated aim was spot-on. Klingons, you’re on notice!
I installed mine a few days ago and we’ve been enjoying it thoroughly. Everything’s been great! My wife even called it the ‘gateway bidet’ and wanted to look into getting one with a dryer.
I was sitting in our bedroom working on my computer - I normally am at an office 35 minutes away - when I heard our water pipes start humming like someone had started the hose outside… but this was coming from inside the house.
I ran into our bathroom and turned off the valve to the toilet. The connection at the bidet just completely failed. If I hadn’t been at home, the property damage would have been TERRIBLE.
Please beware, guys - you may want to throttle that valve down low to reduce pressure, or get something that can alert you in case of failure… either way, this thing’s going in the trash today. It was such a brief, shining moment that we were bidet’d…
So we went to install this yesterday and realized there was the slightest leak around the base of the toilet and ended up also changing out the wax ring. Yay but now I have a bidet, which can shoot water across the bathroom!!!
Finally got around to installing the A3. I didn’t know it would be for the current crisis, but I guess this proves that meh was thinking ahead, right?!?!?
@arbdef I am patient, like a trapdoor spider. Trapdoor spiders are also notorious procastinators. They have been known to wait until the last hour of the last day to go to the DMV to renew their driver’s license.
Specs
What’s in the Box?
1x Bidet
1x 7/8" fill valve adaptor
1x Water supply hose
2x Protective O rings
Pictures
BBC-70 (non self cleaning)
A3 (self cleaning)
Price Comparison
Warranty
1 Year BioBidet
Estimated Delivery
Monday, July 13th - Thursday, July 16th
Bidet get it – cleaning up tonight !
Oh no you didn’t!
/giphy nope nope nope
@awk Possibly the most nausea-inducing piece of tripe I’ve seen in several years. gliphy should be ashamed of itself.
@magic_cave Agreed. I’d rather watch a bidet in action.
Proof Meh is going down the toilet.
The cats might like a drinking fountain in the toilet.
@Kidsandliz Our cats certainly would! Thanks for the suggestion.
@rcornick Yeah I have a couple of toilet bowl drinkers so I keep the lid down, 2 of whom also drink from facets (their preferred approach, secondarily a cat water fountain). Another one drinks water from anything I leave in the sink. I finally gave that up and put a cat water bowl in the sink, covering the other side, where dirty dishes congregate all day, with a cutting board.
What a shitty deal.
My ass thanks you
@ThePrivateParts or,
Thanks,
My ass.
Some people think their shower is self-cleaning.
No warm water or heated air dry? No thanks. I’m not an animal!
@Alereon Sounds like a cold-ass deal. Besides you only jump the first couple of times. Unless it’s the middle of winter.
@Alereon I’m with you. I don’t need a stream of cold water hitting my donut first thing in the morning. If there were a way to get warm water to it, I’d probably buy it.
@Fuzzalini You might look into in-line hot water heaters. Hook one of those between the toilet source and the bidet.
@Alereon According to Amazon reviews, the temperature tends to be tepid by the time it’s tapped.
@Fuzzalini You could always plumb it to the hot water line if co-located to your sink. Realistically, cold water is more like room temperature water for the first minute or so anyway.
@Alereon The water you use is sitting in the line in the bathroom, so it’s room temperature.
@lukeduff Still 68 degrees (common room temperature in colder climate) is pretty cold when hitting 90+ degree skin.
@Alereon What are you talking about? They all have tanks and heat the water. You can vary both temp and pressure with knobs. We are not savages.
Is this a refurb?
@pcolachiller returd
@somf69 New
Yeah… SURE you sat down with @luke.
SURE YOU DID. And besides, he clearly didn’t buy a bidet (or anything else for that matter) from Meh.
I call shenanigans!
@curtise can confirm shenanigans
@Luke you of course realize the real ruse was to shame you into dirtying up that perfect profile.
Bidets are good.
These are not.
I’ll be the first in line if meh offers a Toto or higher end one (especially a tankless heater) but I’m just too snobbish to not have warm water.
You’ve got to be shitting me.
It’s for washing your backside!
@craigthom I got that reference, Dundee
@DeuceSevin Usually people only quote “That’s not a knife!”. It was nice to have an opportunity to quote something else.
@craigthom After all, it is perfect for when that Aussie in your life is not, in fact, having a good day
@craigthom B’det, mate!
Love the caddy shack picture btw!
Pro tip: These also make convenient water fountains when you don’t want to bother going to the kitchen for a glass in the middle of the night.
@rv617 And the reverse is also true.
@rv617 If you leave a toothbrush and bar of soap next to it, you only need one plumbing fixture in your bathroom. Convenient!
@mehcuda67 the toilet: useful object or space wasting unitasker
A bidet that costs less than $25? Hell no.
@lordbowen Good news! You can buy it on Amazon for $40
@troy
TROY!!!
@troy
@lordbowen you realize you could sharpie that face into your existing toilet and add today’s Meh bidet as well, right?
@RedOak Based on the reviews it might not be a bidet - it might be a water pik - just perfect for that face.
/youtube roses smell like poop
Barely even a discount. Meh it to hell!
I got a different brand about two months ago. Highly recommend it. Especially at an almost “eh, why not?” price.
Do suggest the self-cleaning one, too.
I’ve had a BioBidet for several years, it’s pretty awesome. Got spoiled by the automated toilets in Japan, but in an apartment, it’s tough to hook up power and all that, so these are a good compromise. Maybe not so great if you live where the tap water gets really cold in the winter, I’d speculate.
@blueyed510 I live in such a locale, and it’s not a problem. Turns out anuses are not very temperature sensitive.
Other bits, however, definitely are. Your ability to blindly hit your own asshole on the first try improves rapidly.
@brainmist so no need to design in facial… rather anal… recognition and steering software?
… or the low tech hang a ping pong ball from the ceiling placed just right to tap you on the spinal recess of your back?
I got a tankless one on that other shopping site that always puts their bidets in “Tools & Garden”. I’ve got 3 now, and have put in outlets near all my toilets so that I can eventually put them on all my toilets. They’re not cheap, so you can’t do it all at one time.
I got a similar one many years ago (Bidanit) Love it… Highly recommend things like this… at least in TX unheated water has never been an issue.
I have owned a very similar model for two years and now push others to buy them. I also give them as Christmas presents. Buy it, install it, then wonder how you have lived this long without one.
EDIT: I live in Wisconsin and cold water has never been an issue. Worst case scenario is it gives you a little jump start in the morning.
/giphy Billy Mays
Why the hell not, I’ve been considering getting one for years, and at $22, it’s a pretty low commitment… though I get the feeling that if we like it, the wife will have me running power and upgrading to a Toto before next winter
I bought one at Woot a while back. Then bought two more for the other bathrooms. And now I feel like something’s missing when I use toilets elsewhere.
Is this Bluetooth? Where does the music come out?
@mehcuda67 Yeah but it sounds shitty
@mehcuda67
"Where does the music come out?" – you’re sitting on it! (I’m sure you’ve listened to it before.)
These things are game changers. You’ll also save money because you’ll use less toilet paper.
It truly is one of those things where you will wonder how you lived without it. And then anytime you have to use a toilet without one, you’ll feel so dirty.
wait so to be clear, that red/blue dial is not a water temperature control? even though it is in the universal design of a water temperature dial?
then what does it do, and what do the red and blue mean?
@elpepe Typically, pressure. Pro tip: NEVER, EVER, EVER START AT FULL PRESSURE. Unless you want to know what poop smells like from the back of your nose.
@brainmist relevant username?
@elpepe Turn to the right to spray your butt. Turn to the left to self-clean.
Always been curious about these. At $22, I’m willing to work past my traditional-scared-elbow and give it a try.
I’ll just duct tape a squirt gun on the toilet seat. Good enough.
Does the BBC-70 model, that would be Big Butt Cleaner seven zero, have a jet massage feature?
@discmaster That would be the BBC-747
Tonight’s item a reminder why meh is the butt of jokes.
. . at least the jokes are clean.
Today’s my baby brother’s birthday, and this is perfect, because, like the bidet, we’ve been dealing with each other’s shit for years.
Nice, I have had two bidets going on two years now and love em. It can be a little chilly on cold winter mornings but no Biggy. Funny thing is my girlfriend ( well my ex girlfriend/baby momma starting two days ago) is part French and I’m the only one that ever uses them… Its nice to be clean…
@bigtom67 CONGRATS!!! DADDY!!! WOOO
@BGreider Thanks
@bigtom67 her foul buns are why you broke up, amirite /highfive
@bigtom67 sorry to hear about the breakup, but congrats on becoming a daddy!
If you ever try this, you will never go back! Like going from cable internet to dial up…read the reviews, I LOVE mine, different mfg, got it on Amazon, but at this price, pull the trigger.
@BGreider I’m quite certain that going back to dial-up would not be good for my sanity nor for my computer components as they suddenly were given flying lessons.
Wow a Bidet? What’s next a Squatty Potty???
@Stallion I love my squatty potty. Couldn’t live without it. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.
@Stallion Now THAT I would buy. I would love to see Meh sell more products shown on Shark Tank.
So. Many. Poop. Jokes.
I guess I will trade one of the old bidets out for this new model (diligent-uber-owl) kinda like my exgirlfriend/baby momma. I knew I could find humor in this/it somewhere.
note of caution: the pressure dial goes from high to HOLY SHIT in a tenth of a turn
I think this is a good start to someone who wants to try it out without flushing down a few Franklins. Even in the middle of winter the cold water is just a split-second shock. Also pays for itself in the TP you save, or you can start splurging on the good stuff.
I don’t have one… Haven’t tried one… And I really want one.
@DMO Thanks for posting …
OMG you gotta watch this!
@DMO I laughed, I cried, I had to go to the bathroom. (Very good point if you have kids in the house, too. I would have been one of those kids launching his action figures across the bathroom.)
@DMO But can you use it to fill water balloons?
Some might say meh is all washed up, but they would be talking (ab)out their asses.
Been using them since the 90s when I got a Toto Washlet. All our toilets have them now. They are absolutely brilliant and the thought of smearing shit around with paper is just primitive to me now.
This isn’t attitude, I’m willing to bet that people that have bidet seats know what I mean. Would you just finish your crap and then wipe your hands with paper? No, you wash them.
Think about that.
@droopus We have 2 Toto units as well. The only problem is I don’t want to leave the house. I am on vacation now and already have anxiety about my first job away from home.
@DeuceSevin ironic screen name to boot!
So I get that you clean your bung hole with this… but what about drying it afterwards? That’s the part that escapes me…
@ragingredd You use a little bit of toilet paper to wipe it dry if you want. Or splurge for an expensive washlet with a dryer built in.
@ragingredd T-fitting and a valve, with a line running to an air compressor.
@ragingredd I have a shelf behind the toilet with soft washcloths. After washing, I dry with a cloth and then it goes into the hamper.
/giphy hellish-wide-fly
@synner621 I knew if I clicked enough an appropriate gif would turn up.
Ask and Meh shall deliver! I was shopping on Amazon for one last night for the downstairs toilet and forgot to checkout. Really looking forward to my ISP sharing all of my browsing history so this happens more often in the future.
/giphy revered-careful-wing
Already have a real bidet, you know, one that has warm water going to it? LOL! Thanks but no thanks!
@doubltap So when I turn on my water to wash my hands it takes a while for the water to start to get warm. How does that work here?
Is this bidet approved by Mr. Hankey?
Man…you just have to try this to know what you have been missing. These are truly one of the greatest invention ever. I have been using biobidet for few years and it is great. U don’t need warm water as u get room temp…water even in cold climate. Great value at Meh.
We’ve had a Bio Bidet Elite 3 which is pretty similar but has a second nozzle for cleaning lady parts for a couple years now (wife tried that part, she said it’s OK but doesn’t use it much but loves the normal function). Now when we travel I dread using regular toilets. After using a bidet for a long time and not needing to use TP as much the 1 ply most places have is like sand paper to my bum.
I will say the “self-cleaning” feature on these things is a joke. When you operate it normally to wash your bum the water pressure pushes the nozzle out so it sprays a stream of water at your bunghole with laser accuracy. When you use the self-cleaning feature all it does is keep the nozzle retracted so it sprays the inside of the tube the nozzle sits in which is pretty useless. Meanwhile the outside of the nozzle area will collect all sorts of fun stuff and is a pain in the ass (fnarr fnarr) to keep clean. Bottom line, if you go months between toilet cleanings like we do it’s gonna get gross.
Got one of these (different brand) as a joke for the Mrs. One Valentine’s day.
Best invention ever. Neither of us ever want to poop away from home now because nothing beats a bidet.
Why does the email say “Who’s buying this crap?” Seems wrong for this item.
Meh really jumped the shart with this one.
Is there a hack to make this spray when you open the toilet lid? Just planning ahead for next April 1.
@mehcuda67 “In Soviet Russia, toilet* pees on you!”
* - source unclear; could also translate as “hooker”
@djslack how much does that cost?
A Danish friend of mine installed a bidet in his bathroom. When he showed it to me, he said:
“Not only are Americans assholes. They are dirty assholes.”
Just what I need: a new thing to be fastidious about. Listen, the difference between my butt and my arm is that even if I rinse it with water it’s still my butt and therefore still dirty.
For $22, why not? Never tried one and I have nothing to lose except a warm butthole.
Uptight/horrific/hand
I worry about the cold water living in the north, but not expensive to try it out. Good way to wake one up in the AM.
@Felyne If you’re only using it on occasion, and for short periods, your 15 seconds of bidet water will likely be room/wall temperature water, not 40F ground temperature…
@caffeineguy So basically, the second person up gets the wake up call… Good motivation to be the first in the morning!
@mehcuda67 haha! I’ll remember that!
I get that these would be better than toilet paper alone, but how do they compare to flushable wipes?
I mean, unless it’s like a high pressure spray, I don’t feel like it would blast all the poo off. A flushable wipe can really scoop it off/out of there. I think I would just be left with wet poo that I have to use toilet paper to remove.
@medz According to Amazon reviews, the spray force can be turned up to ‘enema’ levels.
@medz i actually was wondering a less gross version of this comment as well.
(i mean aside from not having to buy more wipes & aside from the people that insist wipes clog up the works. i want to know about ease of use & cleanliness or other preference i hadn’t thought of re: wipes vs. bidet.)
@jerk_nugget @medz there is a reason why you can just wipe instead of washing it already. Poop is not a solid to begin with, it is already wet. You can wash it off easily if it hasn’t dried up and caked to your skin. -Source, am parent
@medz flushable wipes apparently are clogging up city sewage systems
https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/10/are-wet-wipes-wrecking-the-worlds-sewers/504098/
@thevoiss Sure, but wiping wet stuff on a non-flat surface can be tricky. Applying the pressure necessary with toilet paper can cause the paper to break apart and get small pieces left behind in crevasses. Flushable wipes hold together better in such conditions, but that’s why they’re worse for your plumbing.
Think about it like trying to wipe Nutella off of this:
That’s gonna take a lot of wiping to get it clean.
@Kidsandliz It’s mostly because morons are using standard baby wipes and not the flushable variety.
@medz “Flushable” wipes are a misnomer-- Just because they are flushable and won’t clog doesn’t mean they breakdown and disintegrate the way paper does. They end up in waste treatment centers and screw things up. Plus, the chemicals in the the wipes are bad for you and lead to a irritation/can only use wipes dependency.
@medz you might want to see a doctor, pretty sure you shouldn’t have that many “teeth”
@medz I installed bidets in my house after learning that flushable wipes are not flushable after an expensive and embarrassing incident.
@lukeduff
/image statuesque-magenta-poison
@medz OR just give that nutella covered thing to a toddler. It will then be easier to wipe the nutella off the toddler plus some of it will be gone (The nutella, not the toddler). Problem solved.
I bought one of these about a year ago and loved it. But the typically lazy american I am I wanted more. So I upgraded to the USPA 6800 from the same company ( heated seat, Heated water, Massage and so much more) I cant even stand going to the bathroom some where else.
@jrock696911 standing whilst pooping seems like a real challenge. Does this impressive gadget somehow enable that?
Life is like a bowl of cherries. But in this case, more like a bowl of S**t.
This bidet debate is intriguing. Strangely, I have been flush with bidet thoughts for the last few months. Ever since my brother, who is 6’ 7" biker type but with a PhD, told me he installed a bidet in his master bath. I was flabbergasted. He went on to tell me how much better his ass feels. I really didn’t want to know about that and I haven’t really recovered from the thoughts of wondering if my ass should be treated better. I really hadn’t thought much about my ass before and wish I didn’t have to now.
I had almost put the thought of my ass care behind me. I’m not sure if Sigmund Freud would agree, butt, I think your ass should be left behind much like many of the products meh offers every day. Last night I cancelled my vmp after several months of paying and not buying anything. You’re welcome, Meh. I hesitated and hovered over the cancel button for several minutes thinking “as soon as I cancel my vmp, something awesome is going to show up on meh tomorrow.” Well, here it is tomorrow, and of all things, a bidet shows up on meh. Now all I can think about is my ass care and the thought that I no longer am a vmp member and can never get it back. I’m going to go home tonight, run a garden hose through my bathroom window and get my bidet on. FU meh!
@accelerator Or buy a two way connector with a switching lever (these are descriptive and not technical words, I am not a plumber) for your bathroom sink, some flexible hosing with appropriate connectors at both ends, a piece of pipe, maybe J shaped for ease of use, that fits the connectors and bingo - you have one and it has warm water too.
I noticed Amazon suggests a 4 piece bumper kit to go along with this. Might want to pick it up. $5.32
Danco 10062 Toilet Seat Bumper Kit, 4-Piece https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EA080X0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_OY46yb0X1ZADH
@LittleLulu You need bumpers?! Hopefully only on the most powerful setting.
Been shitting on the fence for years, ever since I saw the add-on Toto Washlet and knew I had to try a bidet. Butt I never got around to pulling the trigger. Until today. I can’t wait to feel that cold-ass stream washing away the tiny remains of yesterday’s meatloaf from twixt my nethers. yawny-windy-basket
@khiddy This won’t work with a fence. Needs a water supply.
@RedOak Well, shit.
For a cheap cold-water bidet, these are pretty decent. I bought a similar one with hot and cold and self cleaning.
A few things:
I put one in my guest bathroom, typical scenario for a weekend visitor–
Friday) What’s that contraption in the bathroom ?
Saturday) I tried that contraption. It’s ‘interesting’.
Sunday) How much do those cost?
Well I’ve wanted a bidet for a long time, but between the price and the tendency of my guy friends to make a mess in the bathroom I have held off. The positive posts pushed me to finally get my err…ahem…feet wet. I just hope the installation doesn’t require more skills than I can muster. gaping-damned-manager (sounds like a boss I once had)
@moondrake it’s easy. As long as you can work nuts and bolts, you’re fine.
@moondrake Should only need an adjustable wrench-- The nozzles retract, so even if your male friends have terrible aim, they shouldn’t be able to dirty up the nozzle.
Perfect gag present
In for 2.
I can’t wait for the look from my wife when I open the box.
@ColoradoSteve I can’t wait to see the look on her face when she turns the dial!
@medz I don’t think you’ll be there…
@ColoradoSteve Her as in MY wife. Sorry! Hide a camera, though.
$16-22 is cheap. I bought a $50 one, it has two different nozzles so depending on your preferences, you might like one over the other. They spray at different angles and have a different number of holes in the nozzle.
https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-185-Elite/dp/B00P2XZIP2
I always find it funny that people are so grossed out about bidets. It’s just a little water. I actually had a friend tell me that he won’t let anything but toilet paper touch his ass because he’s not gay. Mkay, whatever. That’s not what makes you gay, but suit yourself.
I’m tempted to buy this as a gift for someone that visits my house and uses way too much toilet paper.
@RiotDemon
@medz I meant to point out that conversation happened when talking about bidets. He also told me he doesn’t like to wash his ass in the shower. Lol
@RiotDemon Sounds like a closeted gay person…
@caffeineguy Right?! Everyone loves getting a bar of soap up in there during a shower.
My dog will love this, but (pun intended)[ass! Mo pun from a demented meh fake ghost member] I, actually, got this for my Mother. Every damned time she takes a takes a crap it hurts to wipe her 92 year ass clean so…, I’m not wiping it 4 her!!
Please don’t upload any videos, folks-- PLEASE!
@caffeineguy You could do a tasteful shot of just the chest up. Reaction/review videos!
jingly-tame-faucet
If it was tingly instead of jingly it would be perfect
This may necessitate upgrading to a higher-quality toilet paper. Otherwise you’re just exchanging poop dingleberries for TP dingleberries.
If you are European and do not take showers this product is a must.
How does it connect?
@brymell2 It has a tee fitting that you connect into the water line going into your tank.
@brymell2 You gather a cup full of water in your mouth, then blow it into the end of the tube. This air pressure forces the water from your mouth through the tube and out the spray nozzle onto your bum. You can also use mouthwash for an extra clean sensation.
@brymell2 really easily. Just installed mine. No tools needed for the tee connector on my line.
Don’t know if any of you noticed… but Amazon offers used ones for $34…
I love mine. Feels wrong to use a non-bidet toilet now. The cool water just helps wake you up in the morning.
Do any other bidet users feel like Finch from American Pie? Holding it until you get to your home toilet?
@caffeineguy Yes. I haven’t dooked at work in over 10 years.
/giphy velvety-lagging-lawyer
I want one but i’m not sure how it would go over with the cats or toddler. It could get destroyed or something worse, I have no idea!
Well, I guess I’m about to find out (in a week or so).
/giphy puzzled-unready-month
@darkdragon my cats don’t touch it.
Site not working. Says available, but wont let us select the model. Can’t buy, but would like to.
Same problem here. An hour left to buy, not out, but can’t choose/purchase.
I’m trying to buy it too. Tried on computer and phone, multiple browsers, no success.
@cmhardin @barnkat59 @kbaum17 We found a few more, but they’ll probably sell out soon.
Update: sold out.
Wow, sold out at 11:54 PM. Is this the latest that a product has done that? (How often do you find some extra stock?)
I hope Meh accepted my cancellation request so somebody else can get the two I ordered last night in a vodka-fueled haze. Cancelled this morning when Minnesota reality dawned on me.
@borisparsley oh thank god
Helped install one for a friend and thought, ‘self, you should get one…one day’. Now I shall have one and no longer be gross. Though, now I can cut down on baby wipes.
I WANT ONE IF THEY BECOME AVAILABLE. PLEASE AND THANK YOU.
@rdemusis You can get the bbc-70 here:
https://morningsave.com/deals/online-exclusive-bio-bidet-bbc-70-simple-bidet-attachment
for only $19!
@medz He/she is VMP- $17.10 shipped!
Glad I pulled the trigger when I did, drunk ordering FTW.
/giphy vulgar grizzly stem
Yeah, please issue more of these…STAT, statum, immediately!
@acifuentes
https://morningsave.com/deals/online-exclusive-bio-bidet-bbc-70-simple-bidet-attachment
Got mine today and installed it right away. Seems like it takes as much toilet paper to dry my butt as I used before though. How long before I start feeling superior?
@LankHairdoo Right around the time you realize you’re drying vice wiping… and everyone around you has a poo smeared rear. And oh god, how do those animals live that way? Worse than animals, animals at least lick themselves. Oh god, that’s worse. HOW IS THIS NOT A THING, AM I THE ONLY SANE PERSON HERE!?
Got mine in the mail today. Going to look on you tube and see if I can find an installation video. I am very reluctant to tackle a plumbing job on my own.
@moondrake
Should be low risk as long as your shut off valve at the toilet is good.
@moondrake this is an easy one. Just turn off the water to your toilet and flush it to empty the tank. The plumbing part is straightforward.
@moondrake I chose to share this video not only because it’s the shortest and most to the point, but because the company’s logo cracked me up at the end.
It does neglect to point out that you should flush the toilet until all the water is out of the tank (you may need to hold the handle down) and position a bowl or small bucket to catch the drops as you disconnect the supply hose. Other than that, it’s pretty much that simple.
@djslack Ya I wish I had that video. Its perfect.
@djslack Unfortunately that video is for a different model, the hose is different. A little wire came out of the bent end and will not go back in, so the hose just falls off.
@moondrake Sorry to hear that. Have you hit them up yet? https://www.biobidet.com/Warranty.htm
@djslack Thanks! I posted this while my friend was struggling with it. He managed to finagle the wire back into place and after several tries got it set up. It’s working now but he warned me to keep an eye for leaks. I’m very pleased with the performance.
Mine arrived, installed about 20 minutes ago. Installation took maybe 30 minutes of fiddling.
First use:
Gold Five: Stabilize your rear deflectors…
Gold Five: Stay on target.
Gold Leader: We’re too close!
Gold Five: Stay on target!
Gold Leader: [shouts] Loosen up!
[he too is picked off by Vader]
…
Gold Five: They came from… behind!
Got it today and installed it. Installation was easy once I figured out how to completely shut off the water to the toilet. Turns out the in line shut off doesn’t completely shut it off… Gotta love apartment life…
But I powered through it and shut it off at the source and got it installed real quick. I love that this model has all metal connections, it just feels sturdier than plastic would.
After verifying it works by shooting my fiance in the crotch with water, I was satisfied with the install. I used it and I gotta tell you, this thing must have a laser sight or something because it’s aim was spot on! The self cleaning function worked well too and I’m glad it’s included with this model.
It was my first time using a bidet and it really… woke me up! I only used it on the lightest setting and it was like a jet stream! I hope I never have a situation down there where I need to use the strongest setting…
@MrMikenIkes While the manual didnt mention it, I do believe that last setting on there is the enema mode…
@darkzrobe powerwash with detailing
@MrMikenIkes Got mine as well, can confirm that it took me about 15 minutes to install, most of which was spent unscrewing/screwing the toilet seat.
I was also surprised by the uncalibrated accuracy… my previous experience has been with dedicated bidets (that have a tilty nozzle heady thing) or handheld hoses.
With zero adjustment at all, this hit the mark.
@MrMikenIkes Installed ours last night. Never used one before and got to say - why did I wait so long? It works perfectly and man, do you feel clean afterwards. Hope they offer it again so I can buy one for my parents.
@darkzrobe At first I thought you were joking, because the high setting is a little…intense.
Then I looked through BioBidets other product offerings.
Yeah, there are a few (Like the “Premium i3000”) that explicitly say “enema wash”.
Well, dang.
@hanzov69 Well originally it was sarcasm… But they decided to turn a problem in to a function…
@darkzrobe Dear god… you had me laughing so hard… I went into a coughing fit… (Slightly sick right now)
Be careful on the install/post. The connector hose completely separated from its 7/8th connector at the unit when I turned the water on. Looks to be a cheap connector that’s fallen completely apart. If this happens while you aren’t home, you’re coming back to an indoor pool. Have to go to the hardware store to replace this part before I can get it working.
Installed mine yesterday, and had to wait a few hours before I needed to use it. Re-friggin-freshing! I almost wanted to eat a bunch of fiber at breakfast just to move things along for another round. I agree with the previous comments - the factory-calibrated aim was spot-on. Klingons, you’re on notice!
Uhm… thank God I was home today.
I installed mine a few days ago and we’ve been enjoying it thoroughly. Everything’s been great! My wife even called it the ‘gateway bidet’ and wanted to look into getting one with a dryer.
I was sitting in our bedroom working on my computer - I normally am at an office 35 minutes away - when I heard our water pipes start humming like someone had started the hose outside… but this was coming from inside the house.
I ran into our bathroom and turned off the valve to the toilet. The connection at the bidet just completely failed. If I hadn’t been at home, the property damage would have been TERRIBLE.
Please beware, guys - you may want to throttle that valve down low to reduce pressure, or get something that can alert you in case of failure… either way, this thing’s going in the trash today. It was such a brief, shining moment that we were bidet’d…
So we went to install this yesterday and realized there was the slightest leak around the base of the toilet and ended up also changing out the wax ring. Yay
but now I have a bidet, which can shoot water across the bathroom!!!
Simple design,water stream is well position and pressure is adj.Work well.
Finally got around to installing the A3. I didn’t know it would be for the current crisis, but I guess this proves that meh was thinking ahead, right?!?!?
This video made installation much easier :
@cfg83 Wow you waited a long time to use this.
@arbdef @cfg83 hmm, and you waited a month and a half to reply.
@arbdef @RiotDemon (this message is from 42 hours in the future). Yeah, what a procastinator!
@arbdef I am patient, like a trapdoor spider. Trapdoor spiders are also notorious procastinators. They have been known to wait until the last hour of the last day to go to the DMV to renew their driver’s license.