My little just turned 1 so I don’t have a lot to run with yet but I’d say teething sucks balls. Omg there’s nothing really you can do for them and it sucks hearing your kid be in pain.
I’m currently watching my preschooler sleep… Pretty cute, except that I’m on puke watch. But even covered in puke this age is a breeze compared to how hard the infant stage was- navigating going back to work and working full time and being on 12 childcare waitlists and imagining all of the ways you might hurt this tiny human you have living with you now. Whew.
How about when they Move back in to be your Caregiver, You have wonder if you were really good to them when they were here the 1st time! Now they care you you.
@mycya4me
Or if they move back in at all. Why do you think nursing homes are so full? People don’t want to be bothered with taking care of their parents. I hear so many people say they’ll just stick their parents in a nursing home instead of take care of them. I just got done taking care of my father for the past 15 years so that’s not me, I’m just saying what I hear.
@Star2236
On the flip side of that (after having just done the same for my parents over the last 10+ years) I don’t know that I’m going to want to put my kids through that.
Assisted living facilities when we’re/I’m no longer able to keep up a household seem like a good idea.
Being a “turn q2” in a nursing home is not on my life plan.
(Turn q2 is a medical term for when you turn a person in bed every 2 hours to keep them from getting bed sores. I’ve always said that my plan is: 2 hours on my left side, 2 hours on my back, two hours on my right side, then 2 hours face down in the pillow. Repeat until effective.)
@Star2236 But You miss a lot of Quality time with you Parents that you will NOT get back when they are gone! You wish you had more time.
I willingly moved back into Mom’s home to keep her out of Assisted care as long as possible. Got to developed some new memories of stuff we did. it was only when I was no longer able to provide all the care for her she needed, Did she go into Assisted care. Sadly she went home last July less than 30 days of her 94th birthday. BTW she has Dementia. IT was worth it!
@chienfou
My sister and and friends have worked in assisted living homes (in my state) and told me the worst horror stories. That’s why I always kept my dad out of one (besides he didn’t want to go and I wasn’t gonna put him there against his wishes). I’ve had distant family that’s HAD to go into them and their lucky if they get their diaper changed when it’s wet, let alone turning someone bc it’s a two person job. In most places (at least around me) they are so under paid and understaffed, any attention to a person is only given if a family member is present bc they don’t want to be reported on. There are very, very few reputable assisted living places in my area and it’s a shame bc of the amount of people that go into them. This may not be like everywhere but in my area it is.
@mycya4me@Star2236 But sometimes you can’t be a full time caregiver. Near the end it took two people to get my mom out of bed, to the bathroom… She pretty much needed help around the clock if she needed anything. Sometimes it is just not possible at home to do that.
@haydesigner Maybe we need to pick a definition for what “hard” means in this context.
Do we mean physically painful? Mentally painful? Emotionally painful? Exhausting? Depressing? Requires exertion? Difficult to live through? Difficult to do correctly? Difficult to afford? Difficult to not do illegal things? …
There are a lot of ways we could consider it hard — most of which are equally valid.
If your only goal is to keep the child alive to the age of legal majority, then you’re absolutely right that it isn’t “hard” … usually. No matter how big or small your goal, some children (and sometimes their grandparents) seem to be actively engaged in preventing you from reaching that goal.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It depends a lot on the child, your environment, and your support group.
Edit: I’m realizing now that in addition to defining what we mean by “hard”, we also need to define what we mean by “being a parent”. But I’ve already gone on too long.
The age period between about 8 months or so and 4 years, during which they become independently mobile but have no clue about risks, dangers, or consequences. At that age, they tend to head directly toward the most lethal thing in their immediate environment. My wife and I called that age period “suicide watch”.
@user97441109 considering I can’t stand being around children, I’m certainly glad to be missing that experience.
The guy I’m banging has his first grandkid. He was babysitting for about five hours recently, and even though I didn’t have anything to do with the child, I was still annoyed by it.
@kittykat9180 Well it’s def not for everyone, that’s for sure. They’re much easier to love and tolerate when they come from your DNA and look exactly like you. I have 2 little ones and they do something to annoy me just about daily, but it’s only when they look up and smile that my heart melts.
@user97441109 I have a nephew I’m close with. I didn’t form a relationship with him until he was 13 and more tolerable.
A few year ago my parents asked me to take him for a summer so they could have a break. I remember one time texting her that teenagers are boring and she said welcome to my world.
I took him to Disney World when he was 16, although I must admit, I had more fun doing Disney World by myself than with a teenage boy. We did a polar plunge together once, he almost chicken out. He’s 18 now and I took him to Poland back in January for his graduation present. He got his first tattoo there.
Becoming a parent is (generally) easy, raising a child… not so much so.
As mentioned above it is a long slog from exiting the birth canal to moving out of the house.
That being said it’s a process that has been going on for a long time. Each different age has its own unique challenges/rewards. The best you can hope for is to make them productive citizens at the end of that process. Anything above that is a total success.
I’ve raised 4 boys starting when I was practically a boy myself. I was still a teen when I grew up overnight upon the birth of my son. Now they are all grown and scattered throughout the world. Was it, is it, hard? The great part about reminiscing, for me anyway, is the ability to recall good times and dismiss the bad. So, no, it wasn’t hard, it was a blessing that filled my life with love and happiness. You see, I’ve blocked the puke on the bed incidents and the up all night wondering and worrying if my son is okay on his first sleepover. Oh, and the DWI; forgot all about that too.
@chienfou@Star2236 literally that is true; an investment in my future as well. I realize I made her buy me expensive computer stuff that she probably couldn’t afford. Not for gaming but for software development. But it led to a 40-year career for me that I would say was successful. (The work-life balance might have been off at times, but at the time that was not a thing people considered)
@speediedelivery Yes giving them back is always good. I feel that way the most about babies. Bottle feeding a 10 day old baby kitten turned me off to babies. I adopted an almost 10 year old. Umm in retrospect doing that made me think maybe I would have been better off with no kids. She is 35 now and I am still parenting far more actively than I’d like to (and working to keep her 5 kids - failure of birth control as in failure to use it - out of foster care). There are some things you can not fix when you get them that old.
There are new challenges with each age. It seems like for those choosing an age, the teen years seem the hardest. I understand why this would be true, but at the same time, I hope by that point I will be able to both adjust my own expectations and recognize the difficulty of puberty enough in the moment to blame the kids less for their own hardship going through life during adolescence. Maybe I’ll be as frustrated as every parent who voted for teens, but I’m still hopeful.
@jitc
Yep. Thankfully you “grow into the job” as your kids get older. By the time you’re ‘done’ you have a pretty good handle on how it all works… hopefully.
When they’re babies, they need constant care for survival.
When they’re toddlers, they need constant supervision. Again, for survival.
When they start getting in the middle-elementary-school age, they become more independent, and you have to make sure their situational awareness and decision-making are sound. It’s terrifying to just, send your kid out into the world without you for 30+ hours a week.
That’s as far as I’ve gotten so far, but I’m looking for to - and terrified of - the next phases.
While they are still alive!
@yakkoTDI I know you are joking but I can’t imagine anything more painful than burying your child. Sorry to get so dark but this tops them all.
@yakkoTDI I think what they meant was while we are still alive!
All of the above…
Not being a parent, I would have to say all of the above and beyond.
@kjady Yep I agree!
My little just turned 1 so I don’t have a lot to run with yet but I’d say teething sucks balls. Omg there’s nothing really you can do for them and it sucks hearing your kid be in pain.
@Gamblam
Some wisdom to pass down from a parent of 3 much older monst-- kids. Don’t say the phrase “teething sucks balls”.
People just won’t understand…
Depends on how dumb the kid is for their age.
@brennyn A friend of my wife’s once described her own kid as “dumber than a sack of hammers”…
@brennyn
Kids only learn from those they watch, depends on how dumb the parent is for their age should be the more appropriate sentence.
@brennyn @Star2236 or how dumb their friends are…
@brennyn @catthegreat @Star2236
when they are teens that is one of the issues
when they never move out
I’m currently watching my preschooler sleep… Pretty cute, except that I’m on puke watch. But even covered in puke this age is a breeze compared to how hard the infant stage was- navigating going back to work and working full time and being on 12 childcare waitlists and imagining all of the ways you might hurt this tiny human you have living with you now. Whew.
How about when they Move back in to be your Caregiver, You have wonder if you were really good to them when they were here the 1st time! Now they care you you.
@mycya4me
Or if they move back in at all. Why do you think nursing homes are so full? People don’t want to be bothered with taking care of their parents. I hear so many people say they’ll just stick their parents in a nursing home instead of take care of them. I just got done taking care of my father for the past 15 years so that’s not me, I’m just saying what I hear.
@Star2236
On the flip side of that (after having just done the same for my parents over the last 10+ years) I don’t know that I’m going to want to put my kids through that.
Assisted living facilities when we’re/I’m no longer able to keep up a household seem like a good idea.
Being a “turn q2” in a nursing home is not on my life plan.
(Turn q2 is a medical term for when you turn a person in bed every 2 hours to keep them from getting bed sores. I’ve always said that my plan is: 2 hours on my left side, 2 hours on my back, two hours on my right side, then 2 hours face down in the pillow. Repeat until effective.)
@chienfou I want quality over quantity of life.
@speediedelivery
Exactly! I tell people when you graph out your life and the quality line crosses the quantity line it’s time to check out!
@Star2236 But You miss a lot of Quality time with you Parents that you will NOT get back when they are gone! You wish you had more time.
I willingly moved back into Mom’s home to keep her out of Assisted care as long as possible. Got to developed some new memories of stuff we did. it was only when I was no longer able to provide all the care for her she needed, Did she go into Assisted care. Sadly she went home last July less than 30 days of her 94th birthday. BTW she has Dementia. IT was worth it!
@chienfou
My sister and and friends have worked in assisted living homes (in my state) and told me the worst horror stories. That’s why I always kept my dad out of one (besides he didn’t want to go and I wasn’t gonna put him there against his wishes). I’ve had distant family that’s HAD to go into them and their lucky if they get their diaper changed when it’s wet, let alone turning someone bc it’s a two person job. In most places (at least around me) they are so under paid and understaffed, any attention to a person is only given if a family member is present bc they don’t want to be reported on. There are very, very few reputable assisted living places in my area and it’s a shame bc of the amount of people that go into them. This may not be like everywhere but in my area it is.
@mycya4me @Star2236 But sometimes you can’t be a full time caregiver. Near the end it took two people to get my mom out of bed, to the bathroom… She pretty much needed help around the clock if she needed anything. Sometimes it is just not possible at home to do that.
@Kidsandliz @mycya4me
Totally true
I’ll say what no one seems to ever say…
Being a parent is not hard.
All you gotta do is feed them and keep them alive. It’s not rocket science and that’s not hard.
What parenting is… is relentless. That’s the exhausting part.
(All that being said, the puberty years are almost always the hardest)
@haydesigner Maybe we need to pick a definition for what “hard” means in this context.
Do we mean physically painful? Mentally painful? Emotionally painful? Exhausting? Depressing? Requires exertion? Difficult to live through? Difficult to do correctly? Difficult to afford? Difficult to not do illegal things? …
There are a lot of ways we could consider it hard — most of which are equally valid.
If your only goal is to keep the child alive to the age of legal majority, then you’re absolutely right that it isn’t “hard” … usually. No matter how big or small your goal, some children (and sometimes their grandparents) seem to be actively engaged in preventing you from reaching that goal.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It depends a lot on the child, your environment, and your support group.
Edit: I’m realizing now that in addition to defining what we mean by “hard”, we also need to define what we mean by “being a parent”. But I’ve already gone on too long.
@haydesigner 100% correct, being a parent is not hard… BUT, being a great parent and raising a well adjusted and polite individual is very hard.
The age period between about 8 months or so and 4 years, during which they become independently mobile but have no clue about risks, dangers, or consequences. At that age, they tend to head directly toward the most lethal thing in their immediate environment. My wife and I called that age period “suicide watch”.
@shahnm
Sometimes it’s truly amazing that kids make it to their 6th birthday!
My son is 65, and I think this is the most difficult time!
None of them sounded fun so I opted out of all phases and got elective sterilization in my mid-20s.
@kittykat9180 Might be the greatest experience you will never get to know about.
@user97441109 considering I can’t stand being around children, I’m certainly glad to be missing that experience.
The guy I’m banging has his first grandkid. He was babysitting for about five hours recently, and even though I didn’t have anything to do with the child, I was still annoyed by it.
@kittykat9180 Well it’s def not for everyone, that’s for sure. They’re much easier to love and tolerate when they come from your DNA and look exactly like you. I have 2 little ones and they do something to annoy me just about daily, but it’s only when they look up and smile that my heart melts.
@user97441109 I have a nephew I’m close with. I didn’t form a relationship with him until he was 13 and more tolerable.
A few year ago my parents asked me to take him for a summer so they could have a break. I remember one time texting her that teenagers are boring and she said welcome to my world.
I took him to Disney World when he was 16, although I must admit, I had more fun doing Disney World by myself than with a teenage boy. We did a polar plunge together once, he almost chicken out. He’s 18 now and I took him to Poland back in January for his graduation present. He got his first tattoo there.
Becoming a parent is (generally) easy, raising a child… not so much so.
As mentioned above it is a long slog from exiting the birth canal to moving out of the house.
That being said it’s a process that has been going on for a long time. Each different age has its own unique challenges/rewards. The best you can hope for is to make them productive citizens at the end of that process. Anything above that is a total success.
I’ve raised 4 boys starting when I was practically a boy myself. I was still a teen when I grew up overnight upon the birth of my son. Now they are all grown and scattered throughout the world. Was it, is it, hard? The great part about reminiscing, for me anyway, is the ability to recall good times and dismiss the bad. So, no, it wasn’t hard, it was a blessing that filled my life with love and happiness. You see, I’ve blocked the puke on the bed incidents and the up all night wondering and worrying if my son is okay on his first sleepover. Oh, and the DWI; forgot all about that too.
@accelerator
I have referenced this scene so many times!!
As a teen, I know I gave my mom a run for her money.
@Star2236
That was an investment in her future!
@chienfou @Star2236 literally that is true; an investment in my future as well. I realize I made her buy me expensive computer stuff that she probably couldn’t afford. Not for gaming but for software development. But it led to a 40-year career for me that I would say was successful. (The work-life balance might have been off at times, but at the time that was not a thing people considered)
@pmarin
FIFY.
The possibility to work 7 on/7 off in an 8-hour job was one of the main motivators for my career shift to nursing 40 years ago.
Teens are my least favorite age group. Watching them show glimmers of being an adult then seconds later acting like a two year old drives me crazy.
Toddlers are my favorite. I like seeing them explore the world and figure stuff out. Yes - even when they are little brats into everything.
Best children are the ones you can borrow and return to their parents!
@speediedelivery Yes giving them back is always good. I feel that way the most about babies. Bottle feeding a 10 day old baby kitten turned me off to babies. I adopted an almost 10 year old. Umm in retrospect doing that made me think maybe I would have been better off with no kids. She is 35 now and I am still parenting far more actively than I’d like to (and working to keep her 5 kids - failure of birth control as in failure to use it - out of foster care). There are some things you can not fix when you get them that old.
There are new challenges with each age. It seems like for those choosing an age, the teen years seem the hardest. I understand why this would be true, but at the same time, I hope by that point I will be able to both adjust my own expectations and recognize the difficulty of puberty enough in the moment to blame the kids less for their own hardship going through life during adolescence. Maybe I’ll be as frustrated as every parent who voted for teens, but I’m still hopeful.
@jitc
Yep. Thankfully you “grow into the job” as your kids get older. By the time you’re ‘done’ you have a pretty good handle on how it all works… hopefully.
They’re all challenging in different ways.
That’s as far as I’ve gotten so far, but I’m looking for to - and terrified of - the next phases.
All of the above.
I’m going to have to say all of them are challenging.
Waxing gibbous