@ACraigL Folks, if you think this one was bad, you should know that it was really raining cats and dogs yesterday. It was so bad that I stepped in a small body of water that accumulated near the curb.
I think my shoulders are too wide for the average umbrella. My head stays dry, but one of my shoulders just gets drenched. Also, my pants get soaked from the knee down because my strides are too long and extend beyond the umbrella's parameter. I have a really wide umbrella, but the wind sure wants to flip it inside out and toss it across the street. What should I do?
@dashcloud Oh, it's kind that you think I have a collection of umbrellas. I do not. I have bought many umbrellas, but I have just 2 and I wouldn't have bought the new damned umbrella if I hadn't left the other one in the car. The best umbrella is the one you have when it rains.
@Barney With enough sun, I believe you this umbrella could aspire to purple. But I wouldn't know because it was nothing but gray skies since I've owned it.
@Ignorant Correction. We'll never know until we know someone who finds the one left somewhere by the guy who bought one, used it once, and swears he put it right there.
@JerseyFrank I don’t know if it’s that brand. Mine is pretty and I gotta say… .I have a collection of beautiful umbrellas but the inside out one is my fav. I DO stay dry getting in the car and the umbrella doesn’t drip all over everything on it’s way to the floor. No mold grows thus far. I would imagine if it stayed wet it would (just as almost anything else inanimate would).
@Ignorant I’ve looked at these. Interesting if they work. The designs available are also of interest. A downside is that there seems to be lots of chinese factory knockoffs and third-party sellers.
@ignorant@JerseyFrank clearly you have never had to sit at kid soccer/softball games in the deep south. I used umbrellas for rain, sleet, snow, sun… hail - umm well sometimes you then need duct tape then, all while sitting in a soccer chair. One over my knees and one over my head.
@connorbush Good luck leaving some of these on the train or in the passenger seat of your car, right next to you for weeks on end but never with you when you need it.
@Starblind This is a solution in search of a problem. I don't need a comfort handle. I need asshole city drivers to stay out of the gutter intentionally soaking pedestrians even when they just bought another damn umbrella.
@Teripie The only doves I've ever seen were symbols of prestidigitation. All we have here are pigeons who are the only denizens of this town that have the common sense to stay under cover when it rains instead of spending another $10 in a vain attempt to deny nature.
@SSteve It's something you bought 50 of, something you have 2 left not where you need them, and something you buy yet again so you can get home to your family at a reasonable hour without being soaking wet.
@looseneck Correction. It keeps raining during the evening commute. Last week I walked the underground concourse and got mugged. This time I figured that an umbrella would be cost effective.
Think of it as an opportunity. Invent a personal energy shield that will repel rain, and you will have a best seller. Extra points if it also gently nudges people out of your personal space on the sidewalk and keeps stray kids from touching you with their sticky fingers.
@JerseyFrank Apparently, because he likes crowds and sticky-fingered kids. And just because he has superpowers does not mean that he has an I.Q. above that of the average doorknob.
@Moose I would eat my slice of cake and make eye contact with my wife who also knows that as sure as I will not have an umbrella with me when it rains, we are at another damn birthday party with people who can't sing the simplest fucking song ever.
do you have a clear bubble umbrella?? I love mine, and it keeps me so nice and dry underneath. But I can’t fold it up tiny to stow in my tote, like so many can. I have to carry it around like I have some big cane.
/image bubble umbrella
@moonhat Yeah what I’d like is an umbrella the size of a golf umbrella that folds up to about backpack size and doesn’t leak water everywhere. I guess what I’m saying is I don’t want to go outside when it’s raining.
@moonhat I hate mine. When it’s raining so hard I truly need an umbrella, it’s never enough. It feels like it is going to get ripped out of my hands. Can’t fit two people under it, or even cover my groceries a little bit.
The only nice thing is that I can see through it. Oh well.
I have an odd collection of umbrellas, which I rarely use. Two favorites are the inverted umbrella that I can hang on a hook on the porch to drip dry, and a folding one with a spike in the handle. (Think sword cane, but with an umbrella and a steel spike. And never attack a little old lady carrying an umbrella!)
@earlyre Actually, if you made a mylar umbrella with a battery-operated infrared lamp, it could work! I might even buy one for cold, drizzly days. It will not, however, cook your breakfast.
Close the floor, please. All the umbrellas are falling in.
@ACraigL Folks, if you think this one was bad, you should know that it was really raining cats and dogs yesterday. It was so bad that I stepped in a small body of water that accumulated near the curb.
I think my shoulders are too wide for the average umbrella. My head stays dry, but one of my shoulders just gets drenched. Also, my pants get soaked from the knee down because my strides are too long and extend beyond the umbrella's parameter. I have a really wide umbrella, but the wind sure wants to flip it inside out and toss it across the street. What should I do?
@medz sombrero + waterproof poncho and waders. problem solved.
@carl669 Why didn't I think of that? So practical!
@medz A proper set of slickers would solve your problem. Barring that, roll up your pant legs.
@medz Windproof golf unbrella.
@denboy Rats! I don't golf!
@medz Don't let that get in your way, I don't bathe but I buy bathing suits.
@denboy @medz if you live in a heavily populated area, golf umbrellas are huge and obnoxious and get a categorical NO
@Lotsofgoats @medz Not good for NYC but brilliant if you're rocking the suburbs.
How many styles of umbrellas do you have?
Do you like the song Umbrella?
What's the best umbrella in your collection?
@dashcloud Oh, it's kind that you think I have a collection of umbrellas. I do not. I have bought many umbrellas, but I have just 2 and I wouldn't have bought the new damned umbrella if I hadn't left the other one in the car. The best umbrella is the one you have when it rains.
@JerseyFrank rihanna umbrella is dope
@JerseyFrank This umbrella you bought, was it purple? Mine seems to be missing.
@Barney With enough sun, I believe you this umbrella could aspire to purple. But I wouldn't know because it was nothing but gray skies since I've owned it.
Do you own a KAZbrella?
@Ignorant What the deuce? No thanks. At the rate I go through them, I wouldn't want to pay the premium for that extra material and engineering.
@Ignorant So...wouldn't that water that is trapped inside just get all moldy and stanky?
@medz we'll never know until we know someone that owns one.
@Ignorant Correction. We'll never know until we know someone who finds the one left somewhere by the guy who bought one, used it once, and swears he put it right there.
@JerseyFrank I don’t know if it’s that brand. Mine is pretty and I gotta say… .I have a collection of beautiful umbrellas but the inside out one is my fav. I DO stay dry getting in the car and the umbrella doesn’t drip all over everything on it’s way to the floor. No mold grows thus far. I would imagine if it stayed wet it would (just as almost anything else inanimate would).
@JerseyFrank @Ignorant @medz
Only $75 at Amazon
@Ignorant I’ve looked at these. Interesting if they work. The designs available are also of interest. A downside is that there seems to be lots of chinese factory knockoffs and third-party sellers.
Do you like rain ponchos?
@Ignorant Only when I'm in the splash zone of an orca show or orgy.
@Ignorant @JerseyFrank
Or a Gallagher show.
Do you use umbrellas for shade, rain, or both?
@Ignorant I use umbrellas for staying dry.
@ignorant @JerseyFrank clearly you have never had to sit at kid soccer/softball games in the deep south. I used umbrellas for rain, sleet, snow, sun… hail - umm well sometimes you then need duct tape then, all while sitting in a soccer chair. One over my knees and one over my head.
@Kidsandliz this thread is over 3 years old, btw.
@RiotDemon oops I didn’t read the date. I would have ignored it if I had. Missed it was a spammer update. Thanks for the heads up.
http://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/umbrella-dome
http://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/light-up-umbrella
http://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/rifle-umbrella
http://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/japanese-samurai-sword-umbrella
http://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/romaine-lettuce-head-umbrella
http://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/air-shield-umbrella
Just to name a few.
@connorbush Good luck leaving some of these on the train or in the passenger seat of your car, right next to you for weeks on end but never with you when you need it.
Have you ever seen one of those umbrellas with the squishy gel type handle? So nice.
@Starblind This is a solution in search of a problem. I don't need a comfort handle. I need asshole city drivers to stay out of the gutter intentionally soaking pedestrians even when they just bought another damn umbrella.
Ever notice how doves, the symbol of peace, just beat the hell out of each other?
@Teripie The only doves I've ever seen were symbols of prestidigitation. All we have here are pigeons who are the only denizens of this town that have the common sense to stay under cover when it rains instead of spending another $10 in a vain attempt to deny nature.
What's your favorite movie?
If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go?
What's the weirdest thing you've seen in the last couple years?
If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do?
You never said the questions had to be umbrella related...
@JonT Movie: There's this scene in A Bridge Too Far about an umbrella.
@JonT Anything with Debbie Reynolds, Fred Astaire, and the other guy.
@JonT Owl pellets
@JonT The residents.
@JonT Probably: "Singin' in the Rain"
@JerseyFrank Gene Kelly, not Fred Astaire. :facepalm:
wait what the hell is this.
@thechinglish What is it that you want it to be?
@thechinglish It's an asynchronous AMA with a guy who needed buy another damn umbrella
@thismyusername One good gust and the blunt force trauma of falling umbrellas would be epic.
there are no answers
just shields against coming storms
and the mystery
Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip
Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip
Drip Drip Drip Drip Drop
did you spend more than $5 this time?
@Lotsofgoats $9.71 for 52" of leaky seamed canopy.
@JerseyFrank Buy tent seam seal to use if the seams leak
What's an umbrella?
-Steve in California
@SSteve
@SSteve It's something you bought 50 of, something you have 2 left not where you need them, and something you buy yet again so you can get home to your family at a reasonable hour without being soaking wet.
You have to keep buying them because it never stops raining here in NJ
@looseneck Correction. It keeps raining during the evening commute. Last week I walked the underground concourse and got mugged. This time I figured that an umbrella would be cost effective.
Think of it as an opportunity. Invent a personal energy shield that will repel rain, and you will have a best seller. Extra points if it also gently nudges people out of your personal space on the sidewalk and keeps stray kids from touching you with their sticky fingers.
@rockblossom Why do that when I can just move through holes in the fabric of spacetime and just avoid the rain and sticky fingers altogether?
@JerseyFrank That works for you? The last time I tried that, I ended up in an Iowa cornfield in 1950.
And if you can do that, why do you need an umbrella?
@rockblossom Why does Superman walk?
@JerseyFrank Apparently, because he likes crowds and sticky-fingered kids. And just because he has superpowers does not mean that he has an I.Q. above that of the average doorknob.
What would you do if I sang out of tune?
@Moose I would eat my slice of cake and make eye contact with my wife who also knows that as sure as I will not have an umbrella with me when it rains, we are at another damn birthday party with people who can't sing the simplest fucking song ever.
What is the meaning of life?
@MEHcus I don't know, but it's strongly correlated with the unexpected amount of water my socks and shoes can absorb in a 1/2 mile walk.
@JerseyFrank That would be 42 ml
Well, that was refreshing.
@Alien Not as refreshing as a dry pair of underwear.
@JerseyFrank right out of the dryer on a cold day!
If money wasn’t an issue which umbrella would you purchase?
@Targaryen
@Targaryen That KAZbrella looks pretty good…
@compunaut That looks promising.
do you have a clear bubble umbrella?? I love mine, and it keeps me so nice and dry underneath. But I can’t fold it up tiny to stow in my tote, like so many can. I have to carry it around like I have some big cane.
/image bubble umbrella
@moonhat Yeah what I’d like is an umbrella the size of a golf umbrella that folds up to about backpack size and doesn’t leak water everywhere. I guess what I’m saying is I don’t want to go outside when it’s raining.
@Targaryen I hear ya
@moonhat @Targaryen I just get wet. It’s not that bad.
@moonhat @sammydog01 A little rain is ok but I like having that big umbrella when the sky decides rain as hard as it possibly can on me.
@moonhat I hate mine. When it’s raining so hard I truly need an umbrella, it’s never enough. It feels like it is going to get ripped out of my hands. Can’t fit two people under it, or even cover my groceries a little bit.
The only nice thing is that I can see through it. Oh well.
@sammydog01
I hate rain on my head. I hate rain on my pant legs. I hate apocalyptic rain that bounces off the @#$% car and hits me in the face.
I kinda wish I used an umbrella more. They seem sophisticated in a way. I usually just throw on a ball cap and run through the parking lot.
@tnhillbillygal Same. Some rain I just run through like going into the grocery store.
@Targaryen @tnhillbillygal Well, yeah. 'Cause then you have to wander around a store carrying a wet umbrella.
@tnhillbillygal I’ve noticed that no matter how wet I get, I don’t shrink. I keep trying.
I have an odd collection of umbrellas, which I rarely use. Two favorites are the inverted umbrella that I can hang on a hook on the porch to drip dry, and a folding one with a spike in the handle. (Think sword cane, but with an umbrella and a steel spike. And never attack a little old lady carrying an umbrella!)
@rockblossom
@earlyre Actually, if you made a mylar umbrella with a battery-operated infrared lamp, it could work! I might even buy one for cold, drizzly days. It will not, however, cook your breakfast.