Basically, it's "shitty" in that it gives extra results to try to account for people who don't know what they're searching for nor how to properly search for it.
@medz Hate that i cant use amazon search that way i wish to. I often get, say, 24000 results. I then filter as much as can, dept, manufacturer, high ratings, quotes on search terms, etc. Ok, down to 4500 results. Now sort by price, after using price filter. Ok, perhaps the first 870 results, sorted cheap to expensive, dont resemble the priduct i want, nor do what that product does.
Ok, change sort to highest ratings. Once again, the first 30-40 pages might not contain a single example of the product i want. And if i do start finding examples of what i'm looking for, that sorts tends to produce many high sort examples with only 1-20 reviews, which often means shill reviews.
All because amazon thinks i dont know what i am looking for, and has to offer me everything that could possibly be related to the of the search terms (with or without quotes and other modifiers), without offering me the opportunity to turn off the "what's related" results.
If i sort by relevance, i will normally get v good results, but wont find the cheap ones, and may have to look hard for the good ones that arent shill promos.
What i would like from amazon is the chance to turn off "whats related" results, and, if sorting by customer ratings, to specify a minimum # of customer ratings as a filter.
I few times i got po'd and called amazon to bitch. Pointless. The CSR just told me how great the search was, in spite of counterexamples.
@medz Amazon does give me pages of useless hits, but the one I'm looking for is usually on the front page if they sell it. Plus that way I can find the correct name ("turner" vs "spatula") and do the search over again.
@f00l You also have to blame the thousands of other sellers on amazon who pepper their listings with keywords for stuff that may or may not be related. Some products just have dumb words included that aren't related.
@djslack@f00l And that's the reason sellers list any keywords they can think of that are even remotely related to their product. The more times they show up on a search, the more likely they are to get a sale. A few years ago, there were even online courses specifically geared to teach small businesses exactly that kind of stuff.
Amazon once allowed users to add tags to products. That had decidedly mixed results, since a lot of users were adding tags for fun without any knowledge of what they actually did. And while we could "untag" a keyword added by another user, we could not delete a tag that had been added by the seller. So search results suck.
Try searching for clothing geared toward tall women. Not plus sized, Amazon, but simply tall. Maddening.
I'd rephrase this as "Try searching for clothing geared toward tall people. Not plus sized, everyone everywhere, but simply tall. Maddening."
On the plus side (I humor me), I'm getting fatter as I age. Ironically, the shit folks sell is still too short, but there's plenty out there to accommodate my girth.
@sammydog01 You will usually see what you want up too, if sorted by relevance. If you sort be rating or price, even w filters, you may have to go thru pages, even hundreds of pages, to find accurate hits.
@rockblossom An unfiltered search including keywords can be great if you're not sure of the search terms. Once you know the search terms, i would like to be able search only on title, excluding keywords, so that i can sort by something other than relevance and still be able to find hits.
@joelmw Searching Amazon for Tall clothing for men is a walk in the park. In fact, that's what my search results seem to include. It's great to find extra long inseam pants on sale for IT Boy, but what I really want are smaller sized, extra long maxi skirts for ME--at least 43 inches long, not khakis for tall dudes. I know they're out there because I've purchased them in the past. I just hate paying through the nose for a few more inches of fabric. (I can almost hear @shrdlu now: woman, it's time to break out the sewing machine and re-learn how to sew!)
@LaVikinga I have no doubt that your plight is a pain, I don't mean to trivialize it and, hell, I'd allow without even researching that your situation is worse than mine. But, no, I don't think searching for tall (and especially, tall but not big) men's clothing anywhere is "a walk in the park." I mean, unless we have different ideas about the joy and ease of walks through the park.
@joelmw At one point in time, IT Boy wore 3XLT sizes (over the years he's pared down to a Large Tall). While the selection wasn't great, he was always able to find clothing on Amazon. My Dad is 6'2" & my younger brother is 6'5". Their waistline gets bigger & smaller, depending on ice cream season. They split their shopping for clothes between Amazon, Cabela's, and L.L. Bean.
I think it comes down to demand. On average, I think there are more big or tall men than there are women my height (a freak of nature according to my youngest). Generally, a taller man can walk into a store and find shirts/pants/jackets a heckuva lot easier than a woman who wears a Small Tall/6Long
@LaVikinga Why, yes, if you can't find what you want, and you already know how to sew, then all this whining is not going to get a lot of sympathy from me. Pity you're not closer. It's easier to sew, I think, if you have someone else who is also doing it.
Truthfully, I sew not because I can't find things to fit me, but because I can't find things that aren't hideously ugly, or inappropriate for a woman of a certain age.
I do agree that it's extraordinarily difficult for a tall woman to find things that fit, though. There just isn't enough love for the Valkyrie. XXOO
I bought batteries for my fitness tracker. I searched for the model number, then chose the one that was cheapest with good reviews and prime. I bought it without noticing that the search returned different model numbers, I was so mad when the wrong one arrived.
I was wondering if the day would ever come for you to mutilate my name ... you little fucker. And couldn't you have worn a catshirt? http://shirt.woot.com/offers/ok-life-you-win
Google is often better at searching Amazon than their own website. (Especially if I'm looking for a specific model of laptop or something along those lines.) "site:Amazon.com [product name]"
No Amazon search sucks. My needs are common (lets say laptop battery), Amazon has what I want but as soon as you sort they bring up a laptop batteries that will not fit in the laptop. Maybe I wanted to know the top rated battery for my laptop, or the lowest price for my laptop. I really do not need to know the lowest price for a Lenovo battery when I am searching for a Dell E5550 battery.
How is a battery with 1 4 star rating better than an average of 4.4 star rating with hundreds of ratings?
@joelmw I fear zero tolerance is a lost cause. I cant enforce that grammar, precision, or accuracy standard on me, let alone hope for others to pay attention to it.
@caffeine_dude@f00l I wasn't meaning to be a total asshole or even push for anywhere near perfection. There were just two particular bits at significant points of the comment that I couldn't help noticing (there are others, but that's not even the point).
No Amazon search sucks.
Really this means that there isn't an Amazon search that sucks. And c'mon, that's just too good to pass up. A comma or semicolon or period or dash after "no" clears it up. I like a semicolon here. "No; Amazon search sucks."
How is a battery with 1 4 star rating better than an average of 4.4 star rating with hundreds of ratings?
This one looks like "14 star." Again, there are a few ways to correct this. I like "one 4-star rating."
I was mostly just having fun. I think what pushed me over the edge was the fact that "Eats Shoots and Leaves" is both perfectly applicable and a sure search-term hit.
I can be much more of a dick. I'm generally more of a dick if I'm dealing with a truly inflexible (and often quite wrong) grammar snob. Speaking of which, this is also a good book (better, more readable and more comprehensive than the other actually). June also writes a syndicated column that's worth tuning in to.
Sorry that I didn't come across less dickish. I don't apologize for the act because I'd probably do it again.
@joelmw Not only can i not be bothered to be correct and precise, i cant be bothered to read carefully. Just skim. Get it or dont, without a fair try at it. Thus is a grave and serious moral shortcoming.
So consider me hopeless and make fun if me. I usually enjoy that.
@caffeine_dude Agreed. I frequently need to search for various tools of particular sizes and Amazon's search absolutely cannot handle numbers. I hate searching for drill and router bits there, even though they often have a good selection and great prices.
Sorry, @joelmw, I just woke up, Was. Tired. Ran out of, time. Yousee. Most of the time, I delete comments, if I, don't have time, to, proof read. I see, my errors. Please. Find, some way, to.;:.;:.;: forgive. TL;DR
Jungle Search is a very good augmented Amazon search engine -- at least for books (physical and Kindle), I am not sure how good it is for other items, although it definitely supports them.
@DrWorm You have to be careful what you search for on Amazon. A few years ago I wanted to give an older girl friend, who I've lovingly called "my fairy god sister," a hand-blown glass magic wand. Oh. So many styles and colors. Made entirely of glass. Who knew?
Talk about living dangerously. God forbid those glass wands ever break.
I thought this was going to be about Amazon's web search engine, A9. It was ok. But the big deal was that it had a lot of nifty details when you searched that we take for granted now. And when you used it regularly, Amazon gave you a store discount. A 1.57% discount specifically. It was their way of giving you a "share of the pi". (It's 3.14 divided by 2)
Since Meh is so rude as to not offer what I want today (aside: FU Meh)
Searched Amazon using Android app for Shaker bottles pack Shaker bottles lot And some other stuff: camera straps, luggage straps, neoprene straps...have a fascination w straps today...and also other things I already own but have not yet achieved Zen in contemplation of...
1st, the app appears to have a diff search server w app than web? Not sure.
After getting umpteen billion search results each way, most of which were not relevant...
Sorted by price, no other changes to search
The count of results changed. Sometimes by more than 50%.
It's so logical. Cheers! Thanks to Amazon for #NotAwesome.
It has been blatantly obvious in the past that ebay has used one search server/protocol for app results, another for full browser search results, another for mobile browser search results, each being weirdly deviant from the other searches. Haven't tested last few months, assume this still holds tho. This po's me - if you are looking for something rare, you can miss it this way. At least ebay will only search on title unless you tell it otherwise.
Actually, not true. I searched on a particular author, and their top result was a book by SOMEONE ELSE. Yes, they had her books, but they were listed 2nd and 3rd and then a bunch that were not her. If it isn’t by her DON’T LIST IT. Do what Craigslist does and say “and now here are some products that didn’t match, but come close.” Anyway, the her name is Ann K. Fisher and the top search spot was by Harvey J. Martin. Not even close, bub. Anyway, I found this site by putting in “why does amazon have such a shit search engine” into google, and google’s first result was “why does google’s search engine suck?” Which cracked my husband and me up.
@narfcake!! or, narfacaca? Anyway, congrats!
Narf-a-caca! Are you gonna stand for that? hahahah
Me... I'm still waiting....
@thismyusername Tuh-hismee-us-errrr-nahmay
I never thought I would ever say "that hand puppet makes some good points about online shopping", but here we are.
@mr_crash_davis Irk had a puppet!?! I need to watch the video again.
@caffeine_dude
Did you really put the quotes around it? Because, this gives 3 good results.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/s/ref=is_s?k=%22stainless+steel+pancake+spatula%22
Edit: even better cuz I guess they're called turners.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/s/ref=is_s?k=%22stainless+steel+pancake+turner%22
Basically, it's "shitty" in that it gives extra results to try to account for people who don't know what they're searching for nor how to properly search for it.
@medz It's not that there weren't valid results, but rather, all the extraneous ones that are unrelated to the search terms.
Also, I'm blaming you for my use of double negatives.
@medz
Hate that i cant use amazon search that way i wish to. I often get, say, 24000 results. I then filter as much as can, dept, manufacturer, high ratings, quotes on search terms, etc. Ok, down to 4500 results. Now sort by price, after using price filter. Ok, perhaps the first 870 results, sorted cheap to expensive, dont resemble the priduct i want, nor do what that product does.
Ok, change sort to highest ratings. Once again, the first 30-40 pages might not contain a single example of the product i want. And if i do start finding examples of what i'm looking for, that sorts tends to produce many high sort examples with only 1-20 reviews, which often means shill reviews.
All because amazon thinks i dont know what i am looking for, and has to offer me everything that could possibly be related to the of the search terms (with or without quotes and other modifiers), without offering me the opportunity to turn off the "what's related" results.
If i sort by relevance, i will normally get v good results, but wont find the cheap ones, and may have to look hard for the good ones that arent shill promos.
What i would like from amazon is the chance to turn off "whats related" results, and, if sorting by customer ratings, to specify a minimum # of customer ratings as a filter.
I few times i got po'd and called amazon to bitch. Pointless. The CSR just told me how great the search was, in spite of counterexamples.
@f00l Try searching for clothing geared toward tall women. Not plus sized, Amazon, but simply tall. Maddening.
@medz Amazon does give me pages of useless hits, but the one I'm looking for is usually on the front page if they sell it. Plus that way I can find the correct name ("turner" vs "spatula") and do the search over again.
@medz I love how that first one on the "turner" list has "shovel" in its description, but not "spatula".
@f00l You also have to blame the thousands of other sellers on amazon who pepper their listings with keywords for stuff that may or may not be related. Some products just have dumb words included that aren't related.
@djslack @f00l And that's the reason sellers list any keywords they can think of that are even remotely related to their product. The more times they show up on a search, the more likely they are to get a sale. A few years ago, there were even online courses specifically geared to teach small businesses exactly that kind of stuff.
Amazon once allowed users to add tags to products. That had decidedly mixed results, since a lot of users were adding tags for fun without any knowledge of what they actually did. And while we could "untag" a keyword added by another user, we could not delete a tag that had been added by the seller. So search results suck.
@LaVikinga
I'd rephrase this as "Try searching for clothing geared toward tall people. Not plus sized, everyone everywhere, but simply tall. Maddening."
On the plus side (I humor me), I'm getting fatter as I age. Ironically, the shit folks sell is still too short, but there's plenty out there to accommodate my girth.
@LaVikinga
So stop being tall, already? Is that so hard?
@sammydog01
You will usually see what you want up too, if sorted by relevance. If you sort be rating or price, even w filters, you may have to go thru pages, even hundreds of pages, to find accurate hits.
@rockblossom
An unfiltered search including keywords can be great if you're not sure of the search terms. Once you know the search terms, i would like to be able search only on title, excluding keywords, so that i can sort by something other than relevance and still be able to find hits.
@joelmw Searching Amazon for Tall clothing for men is a walk in the park. In fact, that's what my search results seem to include. It's great to find extra long inseam pants on sale for IT Boy, but what I really want are smaller sized, extra long maxi skirts for ME--at least 43 inches long, not khakis for tall dudes. I know they're out there because I've purchased them in the past. I just hate paying through the nose for a few more inches of fabric.
(I can almost hear @shrdlu now: woman, it's time to break out the sewing machine and re-learn how to sew!)
@f00l Tried that as a kid. Wore lots of flat shoes and slouched. NOT an attractive look for an pudgy ugly duckling.
@LaVikinga
Could you get mid-calf or maxi skirts/dresses that might fit someone normal height as described, and have them be knee-length on you?
(Hello up there!)
@DrWorm
@LaVikinga I have no doubt that your plight is a pain, I don't mean to trivialize it and, hell, I'd allow without even researching that your situation is worse than mine. But, no, I don't think searching for tall (and especially, tall but not big) men's clothing anywhere is "a walk in the park." I mean, unless we have different ideas about the joy and ease of walks through the park.
@joelmw At one point in time, IT Boy wore 3XLT sizes (over the years he's pared down to a Large Tall). While the selection wasn't great, he was always able to find clothing on Amazon. My Dad is 6'2" & my younger brother is 6'5". Their waistline gets bigger & smaller, depending on ice cream season. They split their shopping for clothes between Amazon, Cabela's, and L.L. Bean.
I think it comes down to demand. On average, I think there are more big or tall men than there are women my height (a freak of nature according to my youngest). Generally, a taller man can walk into a store and find shirts/pants/jackets a heckuva lot easier than a woman who wears a Small Tall/6Long
@LaVikinga Why, yes, if you can't find what you want, and you already know how to sew, then all this whining is not going to get a lot of sympathy from me. Pity you're not closer. It's easier to sew, I think, if you have someone else who is also doing it.
Truthfully, I sew not because I can't find things to fit me, but because I can't find things that aren't hideously ugly, or inappropriate for a woman of a certain age.
I do agree that it's extraordinarily difficult for a tall woman to find things that fit, though. There just isn't enough love for the Valkyrie. XXOO
@Shrdlu I'd love me a Valkyrie, but all the ones I meet expect to date a superhero
I bought batteries for my fitness tracker. I searched for the model number, then chose the one that was cheapest with good reviews and prime. I bought it without noticing that the search returned different model numbers, I was so mad when the wrong one arrived.
So... stainless steel pancake spatula's tomorrow?
I was wondering if the day would ever come for you to mutilate my name ... you little fucker. And couldn't you have worn a catshirt?
http://shirt.woot.com/offers/ok-life-you-win
I'll keep waiting, BTW.
@narfcake Hahahahahahah!
@bluejester waiting for the name mutilation, or the wearing a catshirt part…?
@Pavlov This is exactly what I thought of. Man, is there anything UHF can't do?
@ACraigL It can't be VHF.
Google is often better at searching Amazon than their own website. (Especially if I'm looking for a specific model of laptop or something along those lines.) "site:Amazon.com [product name]"
@FightingMongoos
Yeah sometimes i resort to that. Always pisses me off to do it tho.
Waiting for speaker docks.
No Amazon search sucks. My needs are common (lets say laptop battery), Amazon has what I want but as soon as you sort they bring up a laptop batteries that will not fit in the laptop. Maybe I wanted to know the top rated battery for my laptop, or the lowest price for my laptop. I really do not need to know the lowest price for a Lenovo battery when I am searching for a Dell E5550 battery.
How is a battery with 1 4 star rating better than an average of 4.4 star rating with hundreds of ratings?
@caffeine_dude This search worked really well:
@joelmw
I fear zero tolerance is a lost cause. I cant enforce that grammar, precision, or accuracy standard on me, let alone hope for others to pay attention to it.
@caffeine_dude @f00l I wasn't meaning to be a total asshole or even push for anywhere near perfection. There were just two particular bits at significant points of the comment that I couldn't help noticing (there are others, but that's not even the point).
Really this means that there isn't an Amazon search that sucks. And c'mon, that's just too good to pass up. A comma or semicolon or period or dash after "no" clears it up. I like a semicolon here. "No; Amazon search sucks."
This one looks like "14 star." Again, there are a few ways to correct this. I like "one 4-star rating."
I was mostly just having fun. I think what pushed me over the edge was the fact that "Eats Shoots and Leaves" is both perfectly applicable and a sure search-term hit.
I can be much more of a dick. I'm generally more of a dick if I'm dealing with a truly inflexible (and often quite wrong) grammar snob. Speaking of which, this is also a good book (better, more readable and more comprehensive than the other actually). June also writes a syndicated column that's worth tuning in to.
Sorry that I didn't come across less dickish. I don't apologize for the act because I'd probably do it again.
@joelmw Sometimes, you just gotta remember:
http://shirt.woot.com/offers/grammar-police
@joelmw
Not only can i not be bothered to be correct and precise, i cant be bothered to read carefully. Just skim. Get it or dont, without a fair try at it. Thus is a grave and serious moral shortcoming.
So consider me hopeless and make fun if me. I usually enjoy that.
@caffeine_dude Agreed. I frequently need to search for various tools of particular sizes and Amazon's search absolutely cannot handle numbers. I hate searching for drill and router bits there, even though they often have a good selection and great prices.
Sorry, @joelmw, I just woke up, Was. Tired. Ran out of, time. Yousee. Most of the time, I delete comments, if I, don't have time, to, proof read. I see, my errors. Please. Find, some way, to.;:.;:.;: forgive.
TL;DR
@f00l
@caffeine_dude Your "shoot me" comment makes this is a win-win-win. I'm Walken away now.
@joelmw OMG Walken's Fatboy Slim was amazing. Almost picked your 2nd gif because it was so awesome.
A gift for you.
@caffeine_dude He's always been so awesome.
Jungle Search is a very good augmented Amazon search engine -- at least for books (physical and Kindle), I am not sure how good it is for other items, although it definitely supports them.
@DrWorm
Yeah, but Amazon search itself is excellent for books, video, audio, etc. It breaks down badly on non-media.
@DrWorm You have to be careful what you search for on Amazon. A few years ago I wanted to give an older girl friend, who I've lovingly called "my fairy god sister," a hand-blown glass magic wand.
Oh.
So many styles and colors. Made entirely of glass.
Who knew?
Talk about living dangerously.
God forbid those glass wands ever break.
So...
@mikedomediocre -you did any research on stainless steel pancake spatulas?
Or perhaps I should ask @kylethephotoguy and @jasontoon if they did any preparation for one.
As long as @sohmageek doesn't get a new speaker dock. (I'm kind that way)
@FroodyFrog I haven't flipped my attention over to any spatulas lately...
@mikedomediocre
Did that pun make you feel better?
@FroodyFrog I'm indifferent now. It was fun at the time. But yes, no pancake spatulas have crossed my desk (or plate?).
@mikedomediocre
I cant look at this from both sides. Sorry.
Start @ 0:19
@DaveInSoCal Geez. No means no, Murray.
@DaveInSoCal
BM's character is seriously annoying there. Ick.
@DaveInSoCal oh a comic classic.
Is it just me or did parts of that sound like Donald Trump?
basically all the books, they really do have a lot of the books...
they got shirts tons of shirts...
@sohmageek
They got lots of Bezos.
I thought this was going to be about Amazon's web search engine, A9. It was ok. But the big deal was that it had a lot of nifty details when you searched that we take for granted now. And when you used it regularly, Amazon gave you a store discount. A 1.57% discount specifically. It was their way of giving you a "share of the pi". (It's 3.14 divided by 2)
Another fun Amazon search fact.
Since Meh is so rude as to not offer what I want today (aside: FU Meh)
Searched Amazon using Android app for
Shaker bottles pack
Shaker bottles lot
And some other stuff: camera straps, luggage straps, neoprene straps...have a fascination w straps today...and also other things I already own but have not yet achieved Zen in contemplation of...
1st, the app appears to have a diff search server w app than web? Not sure.
After getting umpteen billion search results each way, most of which were not relevant...
Sorted by price, no other changes to search
The count of results changed. Sometimes by more than 50%.
It's so logical.
Cheers! Thanks to Amazon for #NotAwesome.
It has been blatantly obvious in the past that ebay has used one search server/protocol for app results, another for full browser search results, another for mobile browser search results, each being weirdly deviant from the other searches. Haven't tested last few months, assume this still holds tho. This po's me - if you are looking for something rare, you can miss it this way. At least ebay will only search on title unless you tell it otherwise.
@f00l said:
No longer always true; sometimes Ebay seach just throws out results now. Guess they wanted to be more like Amazon.
If the search generates lots of legit results, they usually show only those. Can’t wait for Ebay to mess with that next.
Just saw this gem on Amazon. Wut?
Actually, not true. I searched on a particular author, and their top result was a book by SOMEONE ELSE. Yes, they had her books, but they were listed 2nd and 3rd and then a bunch that were not her. If it isn’t by her DON’T LIST IT. Do what Craigslist does and say “and now here are some products that didn’t match, but come close.” Anyway, the her name is Ann K. Fisher and the top search spot was by Harvey J. Martin. Not even close, bub. Anyway, I found this site by putting in “why does amazon have such a shit search engine” into google, and google’s first result was “why does google’s search engine suck?” Which cracked my husband and me up.
@donnabert Welcome to Meh! Please enjoy your stay.
@donnabert Hi!!!
/giphy welcome
@donnabert Stick around… we’re glad to see you!