@conandlibrarian That was my immediate thought. Most of my friends the last thing I want is them taking off their shoes near me. Keeping slippers for people to use would be okay, but would be at risk of spreading nastiness if anyone brought any to the party.
@conandlibrarian Public restrooms, public transportation, hospitals: places people's shoes have been. I get what you mean though some people are gross.
@soomass Yes, yes, yes. Damnit, downtown sidewalks even, where everything smells of urine. Speaking of public transportation, this is why I hate it that people put their shoes up on the seats on the commuter train. Ugh. You listening to this, DART? Someone needs to stop that.
@bbf Clearly you don't live in the desert. Most women wear sandals year round here. Most men wear sandals when not at work, and at work if they can get away with it. It's way too hot 10 months of the year for socks and closed shoes.
@Thumperchick Yes. That second sentence might be horribly phrased. Sliding across the kitchen floor is my preferred mode of transit, so "socks only" is mightily helpful. The upstairs is all carpeted, and we live in a place with lots of red dirt/clay.
I prefer people not wear shoes in my house. It's not because it's cleaner or whatever, it's because I have two cats that get underfoot. I manage to step on some toes or a tail every once in a while, and I'd hate for a guest to do it while wearing shoes. The cats hate shoes, however, so they tend to run and hide when they hear them coming.
When I visit someone else's house, I just do what they do.
It all depends on how casual the reason they're coming over is. If it's a few friends for movies why would they want their shoes on for so long but if it's a dinner party or something it would be weird with everyone walking around in socks.
I have lighter colored carpeting and sorry shoes off. I don't enjoy scrubbing out what you tracked in. From the few times where I didn't stop it I have stains from gum, tar, and other things. Carpeting can be expensive, cleaners aren't cheap to rent all the time. Just my 2 cents.
I think it depends on your house. I live in the city and have hardwood floors. The only time I put shoes on in my house is when I have guests over or when I am about to leave. People also don't take their shoes off at my house, but I don't say anything about it. I don't really care either way. My floors are clean, but I think they are just following suit. If I went to someone's house and they had nice carpet and no shoes on, I would probably take off my shoes.
Winter is another story, I'm in Boston with a lot of snow. During those times, everyone just takes off their shoes.
I did not care one way or another until I visited Tajikistan a few years back. There, I realized why it's such a big deal. Here, most people are walking in with relatively clean shoes. Not so clean I'd eat off them, but most shoes are unlikely to ruin carpet with every step. There, people walked everywhere, and street sanitation left something to be desired, so a single step with shoes could mean the end of anything resembling carpet.
After that, I started to think too much about how much exposure to nastiness our shoes here really do encounter, despite surface appearances, and now I have a nice area by the door where shoes are collected, and I'm relatively insistent about it. Except when I throw a party. Then I just scheduled carpet-cleaning for the next day.
While I would take my shoes off at someone else's house if that's what they wanted, I would never ask someone to take theirs off at mine. I think it's rude. If I'm so worried about my carpet, I'll just not invite anyone over. We have hardwood where we live now, but we have some people who bring their little dogs over. These dogs are not house-trained so they have accidents all the time (both poop and pee). I always act like it isn't a big deal, so as not to be rude. I just clean it up and use Lysol wipes. I do what I can to make others feel welcome, even if it's driving me bananas.
I guess what I'm saying is..I'm a ticking time-bomb.
@jenny being the owner of a little dog who took awhile to properly house train, I thank you. Also, as the owner of said little dog, the little shit embarrassed me to no end even though I only took him to my friend's house who is like a sister to me. He came over less or was banned to outside until he got his shit together....literally... Don't be a bad guest other little dog owners!!
@jenny If someone brought their dog to my house and let it poop on my floor, there would be immediate and swift justice that would probably upset the pet owners. If your dog poops on someone else's floor and you are ok with it, we are not friends.
@ChadP I would add, "If your dog poops on someone else's floor and you are ok with it" AND you don't offer to clean it yourself but rather leave it for the homeowner to do, we are not friends.
@pitamuffin I would not add that. This thing where dogs are now allowed everywhere is super weird to me. There is no need to take your dog to someone else's house, unless the dog is an invited guest.
@ChadP I wouldn't take my dog if he weren't invited. However depending on timing and location there are some social gatherings I don't attend if I can't bring the dog (he needs a rigid eating schedule) so people understand that depending on circumstances we are a package deal. However, he is completely house trained and extremely well behaved. I also clean up solids from the yard and properly dispose of them and make sure liquids are eliminated in an out-of-the-way area in the yard.
My general rule is, if it's raining, if your shoes are wet or muddy, take them off. On a normal, dry day, if your shoes are relatively clean and dry, keep them on. Is that a fairly common or uncommon stance?
My house is full of dog and cat fur (despite the roombas) so I don't ask people to take their shoes off because they're more likely to leave with dirty/hairy socks. We have hard floors, easy for me to clean. Heck, half the time, I am wearing shoes in my house.
I think it comes down to carpeting vs hardwood and climate. Dry climates down south I would imaging gather less mud than the north. Where I live we get lots of snow in the winter and salt from the driveways and roads that would kill carpeting but to each there own.
I just realized with the conversation about climate that I was conditioned in the north, where--and I hadn't really noticed the extent of this until moving south and then going back home to visit--things get really muddy in the winter with the snow. I guess how I was raised, unless a house was genuinely barn-like (hence the expression, I suppose), it was only logical and polite to always take your shoes off at the door. No one wants that muddy shit all over the house.
Nowadays living in Texas, I generally follow the host and often ask. If the need is less severe, it sometimes feels a little too casual and intimate to just take one's shoes off in someone's house unless it's clearly expected. I really do like taking my shoes off unless someone's floor is gross. I'd like people to take their shoes off in my house, but don't make a big deal of it. Though I have passive-aggressively said things like, "you can just put your shoes there, if you'd like," 'cause, yeah, I'm like that.
First floor? Shoes on or off, I don't care. The stairs and the 2nd floor are beige carpet, no shoes allowed. The best thing we did to quietly convey the shoes rule was to leave the shoes in a neat pile at the base of the stairs. It signals to all but the most obtuse that shoes should come off. If you're close enough friends with us to hang out in the main den/living room, which is upstairs; you probably already had your shoes off and a blanket or pillow to claim your spot on the couch with, so no explanation needed.
I do not have people in so no issues there. I like wearing shoes and wear them at my home. If visiting I follow the hosts wishes but still dislike no shoes. I normally wear sneakers and do not own sandals. My husband only wears shoes if required. He is barefoot or socks at home. We have mostly old icky carpet so no loss either way on the floor maintenance. Living up north for reference.
I'd rather people took their shoes off in my house, but I don't ask them. I just think it quietly to myself.
It probably bothers me more than it should: When people don't remove their shoes at my house then expect me to remove my shoes at their homes.
@soomass ... you keep track? Access database? Excel spreadsheet? Big chalk X on their sidewalk?
@jsh139 I bet it bothers you as much as it should--which is a lot.
@joelmw It only bothers me when it's wet out or their shoes are muddy or something. If it's dry out and their shoes are clean, I'm ok with it.
Yeah, we have a lot of cats, shoes are preferred. Sometimes that cat yak just sneaks up on ya.
I have never understood why people make guests take shoes off. Why have nice floors/carpet if you can't enjoy it?
@conandlibrarian - Wait, how can you enjoy it with your shoes on? I agree with @jsh139 - no rules, but it's nicer with shoes off.
@KDemo Yeah, I think it's weird to wear shoes inside of a house - especially on carpet.
Some people enjoy having a clean house. When people take their shoes off it makes for less house cleaning.
@soomass It can also stink up the place. Sometimes I think people's shoes are cleaner than their sweaty feet/socks
@conandlibrarian That was my immediate thought. Most of my friends the last thing I want is them taking off their shoes near me. Keeping slippers for people to use would be okay, but would be at risk of spreading nastiness if anyone brought any to the party.
@conandlibrarian Public restrooms, public transportation, hospitals: places people's shoes have been. I get what you mean though some people are gross.
@soomass Yes, yes, yes. Damnit, downtown sidewalks even, where everything smells of urine. Speaking of public transportation, this is why I hate it that people put their shoes up on the seats on the commuter train. Ugh. You listening to this, DART? Someone needs to stop that.
I'd prefer if they'd wear shoes, especially in the summer when people are in sandals. I really don't want their bare feet in my house.
@pooflady You just painted a horrible picture in my head.
Why is there no "I don't care either way" option?
@Pantheist One vote for "I don't care either way".
@Pantheist It's a transparent ploy to get you commenting. Apparently not transparent enough. ;-)
@joelmw or I just decided to be a good consumer and do what they wanted
@Pantheist Well played.
If you wear shoes in your house they will theoretically wear out quicker. It just doesn't make sense economically.
Also how can you trust your guests to not step in gum or dog shit before entering your home.
The better question: Are people allowed to wear pants in your house?
@xarous only the plumber
@nadroj And then it's kind of a, yeah, you want to see his/her ass, but it's actually sexier creeping up over the belt line. Yeah, I get that.
@xarous Never. Rule #1, no pants...
@xarous No pants. Ever.
No, people are not allowed in my house
@matthew yeah i don't really have guests so normally it is just me and i take m shoes off. i take my shoes off when i visit other people too, usually.
@matthew But weird puppets are welcome .
Sure, no feet!
They godda wear shoes in my house what with all the glass slivers laying about.. I godda face it, I need a couple Roomba 560's.
I've been trying to teach my 5 year old son not to step in the puddle under the urinals.....can we come over?
If the hosts aren't wearing shoes, then the guests shouldn't. And it's rude to visit somebody's house without wearing socks.
@bbf Make sure the socks don't have holes first, too.
@bbf Clearly you don't live in the desert. Most women wear sandals year round here. Most men wear sandals when not at work, and at work if they can get away with it. It's way too hot 10 months of the year for socks and closed shoes.
Why in the world would I want people to take their shoes off so my house smells like stinky feet? Weird! I have a carpet cleaner for a reason.
@phatmass if you hang out with people that have foot stench that you can smell the second they take their shoes off, you should probably tell them.
If you're going upstairs, shoes come off. Downstairs is all hardwood floor, so you need socks only to be able to slide effectively.
@deichernc Do you live here, too?
@Thumperchick Yes. That second sentence might be horribly phrased. Sliding across the kitchen floor is my preferred mode of transit, so "socks only" is mightily helpful. The upstairs is all carpeted, and we live in a place with lots of red dirt/clay.
I prefer people not wear shoes in my house. It's not because it's cleaner or whatever, it's because I have two cats that get underfoot. I manage to step on some toes or a tail every once in a while, and I'd hate for a guest to do it while wearing shoes. The cats hate shoes, however, so they tend to run and hide when they hear them coming.
When I visit someone else's house, I just do what they do.
It all depends on how casual the reason they're coming over is. If it's a few friends for movies why would they want their shoes on for so long but if it's a dinner party or something it would be weird with everyone walking around in socks.
I have lighter colored carpeting and sorry shoes off. I don't enjoy scrubbing out what you tracked in. From the few times where I didn't stop it I have stains from gum, tar, and other things. Carpeting can be expensive, cleaners aren't cheap to rent all the time. Just my 2 cents.
I think it depends on your house. I live in the city and have hardwood floors. The only time I put shoes on in my house is when I have guests over or when I am about to leave. People also don't take their shoes off at my house, but I don't say anything about it. I don't really care either way. My floors are clean, but I think they are just following suit. If I went to someone's house and they had nice carpet and no shoes on, I would probably take off my shoes.
Winter is another story, I'm in Boston with a lot of snow. During those times, everyone just takes off their shoes.
I did not care one way or another until I visited Tajikistan a few years back. There, I realized why it's such a big deal. Here, most people are walking in with relatively clean shoes. Not so clean I'd eat off them, but most shoes are unlikely to ruin carpet with every step. There, people walked everywhere, and street sanitation left something to be desired, so a single step with shoes could mean the end of anything resembling carpet.
After that, I started to think too much about how much exposure to nastiness our shoes here really do encounter, despite surface appearances, and now I have a nice area by the door where shoes are collected, and I'm relatively insistent about it. Except when I throw a party. Then I just scheduled carpet-cleaning for the next day.
While I would take my shoes off at someone else's house if that's what they wanted, I would never ask someone to take theirs off at mine. I think it's rude. If I'm so worried about my carpet, I'll just not invite anyone over. We have hardwood where we live now, but we have some people who bring their little dogs over. These dogs are not house-trained so they have accidents all the time (both poop and pee). I always act like it isn't a big deal, so as not to be rude. I just clean it up and use Lysol wipes. I do what I can to make others feel welcome, even if it's driving me bananas.
I guess what I'm saying is..I'm a ticking time-bomb.
@jenny being the owner of a little dog who took awhile to properly house train, I thank you. Also, as the owner of said little dog, the little shit embarrassed me to no end even though I only took him to my friend's house who is like a sister to me. He came over less or was banned to outside until he got his shit together....literally... Don't be a bad guest other little dog owners!!
@jenny If someone brought their dog to my house and let it poop on my floor, there would be immediate and swift justice that would probably upset the pet owners. If your dog poops on someone else's floor and you are ok with it, we are not friends.
@ChadP I would add, "If your dog poops on someone else's floor and you are ok with it" AND you don't offer to clean it yourself but rather leave it for the homeowner to do, we are not friends.
@pitamuffin I would not add that. This thing where dogs are now allowed everywhere is super weird to me. There is no need to take your dog to someone else's house, unless the dog is an invited guest.
@ChadP I wouldn't take my dog if he weren't invited. However depending on timing and location there are some social gatherings I don't attend if I can't bring the dog (he needs a rigid eating schedule) so people understand that depending on circumstances we are a package deal. However, he is completely house trained and extremely well behaved. I also clean up solids from the yard and properly dispose of them and make sure liquids are eliminated in an out-of-the-way area in the yard.
Not sure I would want those funky toes bangin' around in the house. If you have dirt on your soles, kick 'em out before coming in.
My general rule is, if it's raining, if your shoes are wet or muddy, take them off. On a normal, dry day, if your shoes are relatively clean and dry, keep them on. Is that a fairly common or uncommon stance?
My house is full of dog and cat fur (despite the roombas) so I don't ask people to take their shoes off because they're more likely to leave with dirty/hairy socks. We have hard floors, easy for me to clean. Heck, half the time, I am wearing shoes in my house.
Shoes and socks come off.
I think it comes down to carpeting vs hardwood and climate. Dry climates down south I would imaging gather less mud than the north. Where I live we get lots of snow in the winter and salt from the driveways and roads that would kill carpeting but to each there own.
@StrangerDanger You are right, climate is a huge factor. I am in Sunny Southern California & do not deal much with snow & mud & salt.
I just realized with the conversation about climate that I was conditioned in the north, where--and I hadn't really noticed the extent of this until moving south and then going back home to visit--things get really muddy in the winter with the snow. I guess how I was raised, unless a house was genuinely barn-like (hence the expression, I suppose), it was only logical and polite to always take your shoes off at the door. No one wants that muddy shit all over the house.
Nowadays living in Texas, I generally follow the host and often ask. If the need is less severe, it sometimes feels a little too casual and intimate to just take one's shoes off in someone's house unless it's clearly expected. I really do like taking my shoes off unless someone's floor is gross. I'd like people to take their shoes off in my house, but don't make a big deal of it. Though I have passive-aggressively said things like, "you can just put your shoes there, if you'd like," 'cause, yeah, I'm like that.
BTW, by "the expression" I mean, "What were you raised in a barn?" when someone does something totally uncouth, like tracking mud through your house.
First floor? Shoes on or off, I don't care. The stairs and the 2nd floor are beige carpet, no shoes allowed. The best thing we did to quietly convey the shoes rule was to leave the shoes in a neat pile at the base of the stairs. It signals to all but the most obtuse that shoes should come off.
If you're close enough friends with us to hang out in the main den/living room, which is upstairs; you probably already had your shoes off and a blanket or pillow to claim your spot on the couch with, so no explanation needed.
@Thumperchick We have a shoe basket at the front door ;)
I do not have people in so no issues there. I like wearing shoes and wear them at my home. If visiting I follow the hosts wishes but still dislike no shoes. I normally wear sneakers and do not own sandals. My husband only wears shoes if required. He is barefoot or socks at home. We have mostly old icky carpet so no loss either way on the floor maintenance. Living up north for reference.
My socks are my Roombas.
"Leave your shoes in the hallway" is totally not code for "where I can see if they're an upgrade over my Thom McAns."
I will not visit the homes of deviants who demand I take off my shoes. Might as well ask me to take off my pants.
@stecker Well I don't like crazy people that won't take off their shoes inside of a house coming over anyway.
@stecker It puts the shoes in the fucking basket!
@stecker Okay then. You can leave your pants by the front door too. >.>