@PlacidPenguin
I avoid mentioning people’s names when I can’t remember those names.
Except sometimes. Those are not my best moments.
OP is not clear about whether avoiding while addressing the person
(normal to me)
or avoiding while speaking of the person.
(in which case why avoid if you can remember? How is other conversation party to know who you might refer to?)
I have about 60 people in my department. I’ve been known to forget names, or swap names between two people with similar physical traits, so I just call most people cap’n unless I know them well.
@f00l@RedOak In our house “somebody” (as in “Somebody took/moved/ate…” )usually fits someone… although who has that name at any given time might be a revolving door.
@RedOak Oh yeah I forgot that person. Your “Who’s” twin lives here. We also have a ghost that others think live here named “nobody” but I know for sure that is not true.
@alphapeaches It’s weird, for certain people I will go out of my way to say their name (usually in an over-the-top manner), but mostly tend to feel awkward if I say someone’s name and try to avoid doing so. The meowing (I say Maow) comes in handy at home; “Hey, maow?” is usually my opening line (and sometimes the rest of what I say, but shrug).
MAOW!
I have made it a point to at least TRY to remember a new person’s name. Doesn’t always work, but I think I’m getting better.
It doesn’t help when I’ve worked for 10 years with 2 men about the same height and age and very similar titles. Chuck and Mark are constantly being called each others name.
@PlacidPenguin Yes, one has a mustache and glasses while the other doesn’t. I do know which one is which though my brain doesn’t want to acknowledge that fact.
@looseneck I think that happens with kids in a house too. My mom would go through the beginnings of the string of us CaJoSu, etc. before she’d finally land on the right name.
@Kidsandliz But there’s no proof that any of you are human! My own theory is that half the posters on here are actually the family cats posting while their humans are at work. Look at the OP!
I am HORRIBLE with names. I once dated a girl for a couple weeks before I had the opportunity to check the label on a magazine at her house and finally learned her name. Until then I relied heavily on pet names like Sugar Pop and Hot Stuff.
The situation lasted about five months. I never did admit to the name dealio, but as things were falling apart I was accused of letting the romance slip because I never called her by all those cute pet names I used in the beginning.
@ruouttaurmind yeah, I once asked a girl out I had been speaking to for weeks at school then realized I didn’t know her name as she was walking off… kind of an awkward moment as I called out “Hey, what’s your name?” after her…
@jbartus@placidpenguin@ruouttaurmind That was over 40 yrs ago. We dated for a (short) while, and I can’t say I remember her name off the top of my head (Cheryl maybe).
I did have 2 relationships going at the same time for a while a couple of years later with 2 women by the same first name. Made it much easier not to f*** up when I talked to them… Of course, those both ended and now I have it easy, since my 40th anniversary is next Sept. (and my wife’s name is only 3 letters long).
@chienfou It sounds like a series of evolutionary experiences that led to a great path. If you’ve been together 40 years, you’ve both clearly done something right. Congratulations!
I’m great with names. But absolutely terrible with faces. As a result, I often can’t put the right name with the right face, so I end up just muttering something unintelligible with a good mix of vowels and consonants and hope the person I’m talking to is hard of hearing.
My husband never calls me by name. No real name, no pet name, no nothing. Always seems so weird if I hear him use my name when he’s on the phone. Married 47 years.
I always think it’s strange when people use names too much. Especially if there are only 2 people in the conversation. “Hey, Cheryl. Did you catch that game? OK. See you later, Cheryl.”
@thismyusername And sellers all get the same training: “Call them by their first name and they will be more inclined to buy from you.” They do it even when it is socially inappropriate (like the teen calling the 70-year-old by his/her first name) or dumb - like when they read my first name but mispronounce it.
Marketing overfamiliaiity tends to trigger this psychiatric-level paranoid disorder of some sort in me.
I become some sort of public inquisitor as to why they are communicating with me. A polite inquisitor, of course, but a ruthless one.
They usually quickly conclude that I was not the droid they were looking for.
@medz supposed to help get the attention of opposite sex too. Supposedly if you work a girls (or boy) name into conversation 3 times when meeting them, your odds of them being attracted to you go up.
I don’t think it would work if you just chanted it. Have to work it in smoothly.
I guess I have intrusion detectors. I notice when someone wants to take too much time. Or gets to close. Or asks for too much info. Or wants info too quickly, at the wrong time. I smile and decline pleasantly and usually it stops there. But some keep going.
Am loathe to offer time or info without a purpose that makes sense and i approve of. Esp info. So I jump on that.
Why do the my need/want it. And every possibly answer they can give, if they are any kind of marketers, just won’t do. And I don’t get tired of the question. I suggest alternative reasons they might want the info. I demand all sorts of answers about the company and its purposes. I continually point out bizspeak and marketing speak and empathize with them about the horrid language they have to use in their jobs.
Every question they ask gets turned back in them. I do not tire of this.
After the first unwarranted intrusion detection they never get control of the conversation again. By the time I let them go they’re either joking with me or beyond ready to leave.
I am not rude. I do not curse or accuse. I sympathize with their difficult job but offer no remedy. I wish them well. I apologize for being intense and persistent. I tell them I hope the rest of their day is not as rough as I just was.
But they must want a debate if they bother me. And so they get one, where I have all the ammo. It’s amazing how many of them excuse themselves quickly. If they want to leave early, I wish them a great day.
It’s a special mode. It takes the smell of something fishy to trigger it.
I’m also one of those people that can’t seem to remember names too well (and age isn’t helping here…).
I work in a hospital that has a pretty good turnover rate, so I usually don’t invest too much effort in remembering names until the person is around for a few weeks. Of course, by then it can be difficult to learn their name, but I find if I stare at their chest long enough I can usually come up with one. (What???.. They all have to wear a nametag at work!)
Not weird at all.
Of course, weird is relative, so…
@f00l @Yoda_Daenerys
The two of you are needed.
@PlacidPenguin
I avoid mentioning people’s names when I can’t remember those names.
Except sometimes. Those are not my best moments.
OP is not clear about whether avoiding while addressing the person
(normal to me)
or avoiding while speaking of the person.
(in which case why avoid if you can remember? How is other conversation party to know who you might refer to?)
@PlacidPenguin
Wait a min. You could be considered weird.
Calling us out, are you?
@f00l @placidpenguin @froodyfraug @fruityfrog
hang on?
srysly? are y’all callin’ me names? weirdo? special-ed? needy? nerd? shit-for-brains? diil weed?
bring it on!
now in terms of saying someones name, i typically do that when i am insulting them, or when i want desperately to remember it.
/youtube say my name
but in terms of this whole thread TL;DR
I do not often call people by name. I usually only use their name when I am mad at them.
I have about 60 people in my department. I’ve been known to forget names, or swap names between two people with similar physical traits, so I just call most people cap’n unless I know them well.
@AdmiralDave Relevant username.
I do not avoid using names.
Why do you not use names?
@RiotDemon well mr. riot, it’s caus i mite meke a mastike.
@Yoda_Daenerys I’m not a Mr.
@RiotDemon see, there you go, proof!
@Yoda_Daenerys but you still got my name right p:
I try to avoid names when I can’t remember the person’s name.
@jqubed good plan
Hey Fuckhead seems to always provoke a response.
@cranky1950 i’ll have to add that to my
repertoirelistI always use people’s names - it is the considerate and respectful thing to do.
Except when my feeble name memory bank fails, which is most of the time. (Unless their name is “Hey”.)
@RedOak
Isn’t it nice that everyone is named either
"Hey"
Or
"Hey you"
Or
"Hey fuckhead"
Or
"Excuse me"
@f00l @RedOak In our house “somebody” (as in “Somebody took/moved/ate…” )usually fits someone… although who has that name at any given time might be a revolving door.
@Kidsandliz That person would be named “who” in our home.
@RedOak Oh yeah I forgot that person. Your “Who’s” twin lives here. We also have a ghost that others think live here named “nobody” but I know for sure that is not true.
Who are you, me? ( that includes the meowing part)
@KMakato wait are you saying you do this too?
@alphapeaches It’s weird, for certain people I will go out of my way to say their name (usually in an over-the-top manner), but mostly tend to feel awkward if I say someone’s name and try to avoid doing so. The meowing (I say Maow) comes in handy at home; “Hey, maow?” is usually my opening line (and sometimes the rest of what I say, but shrug).
MAOW!
I have made it a point to at least TRY to remember a new person’s name. Doesn’t always work, but I think I’m getting better.
It doesn’t help when I’ve worked for 10 years with 2 men about the same height and age and very similar titles. Chuck and Mark are constantly being called each others name.
@looseneck
No distinguishing features which stand out?
@PlacidPenguin Yes, one has a mustache and glasses while the other doesn’t. I do know which one is which though my brain doesn’t want to acknowledge that fact.
@looseneck that’s messe dup
@looseneck I think that happens with kids in a house too. My mom would go through the beginnings of the string of us CaJoSu, etc. before she’d finally land on the right name.
Sounds like a nice excuse as to why you can never remember anyone’s name.
Calling people by name gets their attention, which doesn’t help my quest to avoid all human interaction.
@rockblossom ditto
@rockblossom if you want to avoid all human interaction then why are you posting here? (just sayin’…)
@Kidsandliz But there’s no proof that any of you are human! My own theory is that half the posters on here are actually the family cats posting while their humans are at work. Look at the OP!
@rockblossom
After the cats disabled all the laser pointers.
@f00l @rockblossom @narfcake
I am HORRIBLE with names. I once dated a girl for a couple weeks before I had the opportunity to check the label on a magazine at her house and finally learned her name. Until then I relied heavily on pet names like Sugar Pop and Hot Stuff.
The situation lasted about five months. I never did admit to the name dealio, but as things were falling apart I was accused of letting the romance slip because I never called her by all those cute pet names I used in the beginning.
@ruouttaurmind Hah! There’s a lesson in there somewhere.
@RedOak @ruouttaurmind
Ignorance is bliss, knowledge kills relationships.
@PlacidPenguin Indubitably.
@ruouttaurmind yeah, I once asked a girl out I had been speaking to for weeks at school then realized I didn’t know her name as she was walking off… kind of an awkward moment as I called out “Hey, what’s your name?” after her…
@chienfou
How’d that work out for you?
@chienfou @PlacidPenguin inquiring minds want to know.
@chienfou What WAS her name?
@jbartus @placidpenguin @ruouttaurmind That was over 40 yrs ago. We dated for a (short) while, and I can’t say I remember her name off the top of my head (Cheryl maybe).
I did have 2 relationships going at the same time for a while a couple of years later with 2 women by the same first name. Made it much easier not to f*** up when I talked to them… Of course, those both ended and now I have it easy, since my 40th anniversary is next Sept. (and my wife’s name is only 3 letters long).
@chienfou It sounds like a series of evolutionary experiences that led to a great path. If you’ve been together 40 years, you’ve both clearly done something right. Congratulations!
@jbartus @placidpenguin @ruouttaurmind WOW!
It suddenly came to me… Maggie!
@chienfou
Mine was Patricia.
Aha, the good ol’ days. Now Imma start waxing all sentimental like.
@ruouttaurmind sounds painful!
@chienfou Only in the heart my friend. Only in the heart…
@ruouttaurmind …sorry, when you said “waxing” all I could picture was the scene in 40 yr old virgin. YIKES!
@chienfou
I make it a point to always use people’s names. I find they remember what I tell them much better, if I do so.
I’m great with names. But absolutely terrible with faces. As a result, I often can’t put the right name with the right face, so I end up just muttering something unintelligible with a good mix of vowels and consonants and hope the person I’m talking to is hard of hearing.
/giphy face blindness
Hey you, yea you the one that made this thread, I don’t remember your username but you, the one that made this thread, how is it going?
@thismyusername thisismyusername: yoda_daenerys, or others as you might find convenient
@Yoda_Daenerys
@thismyusername gr8 how are you m8?
My husband never calls me by name. No real name, no pet name, no nothing. Always seems so weird if I hear him use my name when he’s on the phone. Married 47 years.
@pooflady what if you’re around a bunch of people and he needs to get your attention?
@RiotDemon He either catches my eye or comes to stand beside me. Even in the house, he’ll come to look for me rather than yell my name.
@pooflady for some reason the “he’ll just come look for me” bit reminds me of Hodor…
I always think it’s strange when people use names too much. Especially if there are only 2 people in the conversation. “Hey, Cheryl. Did you catch that game? OK. See you later, Cheryl.”
@medz
If you think that’s bad, you should see when I have a conversation with myself.
@medz I have found it usually means they are trying to sell you something.
@thismyusername And sellers all get the same training: “Call them by their first name and they will be more inclined to buy from you.” They do it even when it is socially inappropriate (like the teen calling the 70-year-old by his/her first name) or dumb - like when they read my first name but mispronounce it.
@rockblossom
Marketing overfamiliaiity tends to trigger this psychiatric-level paranoid disorder of some sort in me.
I become some sort of public inquisitor as to why they are communicating with me. A polite inquisitor, of course, but a ruthless one.
They usually quickly conclude that I was not the droid they were looking for.
@medz supposed to help get the attention of opposite sex too. Supposedly if you work a girls (or boy) name into conversation 3 times when meeting them, your odds of them being attracted to you go up.
I don’t think it would work if you just chanted it. Have to work it in smoothly.
@OnionSoup You never know…
@rockblossom Let me guess, they say “rock blossom” instead of “rockable awesome”?
@f00l teach me your ways
@alphapeaches
I guess I have intrusion detectors. I notice when someone wants to take too much time. Or gets to close. Or asks for too much info. Or wants info too quickly, at the wrong time. I smile and decline pleasantly and usually it stops there. But some keep going.
Am loathe to offer time or info without a purpose that makes sense and i approve of. Esp info. So I jump on that.
Why do the my need/want it. And every possibly answer they can give, if they are any kind of marketers, just won’t do. And I don’t get tired of the question. I suggest alternative reasons they might want the info. I demand all sorts of answers about the company and its purposes. I continually point out bizspeak and marketing speak and empathize with them about the horrid language they have to use in their jobs.
Every question they ask gets turned back in them. I do not tire of this.
After the first unwarranted intrusion detection they never get control of the conversation again. By the time I let them go they’re either joking with me or beyond ready to leave.
I am not rude. I do not curse or accuse. I sympathize with their difficult job but offer no remedy. I wish them well. I apologize for being intense and persistent. I tell them I hope the rest of their day is not as rough as I just was.
But they must want a debate if they bother me. And so they get one, where I have all the ammo. It’s amazing how many of them excuse themselves quickly. If they want to leave early, I wish them a great day.
It’s a special mode. It takes the smell of something fishy to trigger it.
I used people’s names back when I knew everybody. There are too many people now.
@walarney
Yes, It was easy when it was just Adam and Eve. Then it was Cain, Able, and my brain lost the capacity to remember anyone else.
/image population graph
I’m also one of those people that can’t seem to remember names too well (and age isn’t helping here…).
I work in a hospital that has a pretty good turnover rate, so I usually don’t invest too much effort in remembering names until the person is around for a few weeks. Of course, by then it can be difficult to learn their name, but I find if I stare at their chest long enough I can usually come up with one. (What???.. They all have to wear a nametag at work!)
@chienfou I’m very glad I work in a place with mandatory nametags.
@RiotDemon Yeah, can’t even get inside the place without a security badge…
I tend to use first and last name.
/giphy ann perkins
@connorbush
And that’s why I can’t binge-watch Sorkin.
It doesn’t help at all that there are a LOT more names in use than there used to be, plus all the alternate spellings and weird pronunciations…
@chienfou
/youtube you don’t even call me by my name
/youtube mib sport
@alphapeaches your thread starting post was well…let me just say. PURRfect!
@AttyVette aww tanks :3