Product: 60-Pack: The Gluten Free Brothers Protein Energy Balls
Condition: New
Tasty energy bites made with high-quality ingredients in small batches
Simple, wholesome, and satisfying snacks rolled in nuts with all natural flavors
Available in Dark Chocolate Almond in a resealable pouch, or a Variety Pack with 3 flavors in convenient 2-bite packs
100% plant-based protein with natural sweeteners
Certified Gluten Free, Certified non-GMO, Vegan, Certified Kosher, Soy-Free, and made in a dedicated gluten-free facility utilizing sustainable business practices
The GFB is a certified B Corp
Dark Chocolate Almond
Best By: 5/17/24-6/8/24
Net weight: 4 oz per bag (10 bites)
Ingredients: Almonds, Organic Brown Rice Syrup, Organic Agave Nectar, Dark Chocolate (Organic Cane Sugar, Unsweetened Chocolate, Cocoa Butter), Brown Rice Protein, Dates, Pea Protein, Brown Rice, Natural Flavors, Flaxseed, Cocoa Powder, Sea Salt. (Contains: Almonds)
Dark Chocolate Coconut
Best By: 5/1/24-5/31/24
Net weight: 0.8 oz per pouch (2 bites)
Ingredients: Organic Brown Rice Syrup, Organic Agave Nectar, Coconut, Brown Rice Protein, Dark Chocolate (Organic Cane Sugar, Unsweetened Chocolate, Cocoa Butter), Pea Protein, Natural Flavors, Brown Rice, Sunflower Seeds, Dates, Cocoa Powder, Flaxseed, Sea Salt. (Contains: Coconut)
Coconut & Cashew
Best By: 4/19/24-6/7/24
Net weight: 0.8 oz per pouch (2 bites)
Ingredients: Cashews, Organic Brown Rice Syrup, Coconut, Organic Agave Nectar, Dates, Brown Rice Protein, Brown Rice, Pea Protein, Flaxseed, Sea Salt. (Contains: Cashews, Coconut)
Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter
Best By: 5/3/24
Net weight: 0.8 oz per pouch (2 bites)
Ingredients: Peanuts, Organic Brown Rice Syrup, Organic Agave Nectar, Dark Chocolate (Organic Cane Sugar, Unsweetened Chocolate, Cocoa Butter), Brown Rice Protein, Dates, Pea Protein, Brown Rice, Natural Flavors, Cocoa Powder, Sea Salt. (Contains: Peanuts)
What’s Included?
60x The Gluten Free Brothers Dark Chocolate Almond Protein Energy Balls
OR
1x The Gluten Free Brothers Protein Energy Balls Variety Pack:
@robson I’m guessing the whisper was accidental, maybe careless even, but that was what gave me pause. Everyone here is going to be confused but us. Let em, haha!
All good! Enjoy your balls. After being underwhelmed so many times with large quantities of Meh snacks it is going to take a very compelling product to make me bite again. Pun intended with malice aforethought.
@nikodrant I think you did the math wrong. Each ball looks like it’s about 12g. It looks like some packaging says a serving size is 3 balls (36g) but they still only have 10 12g balls per bag?
@Trinityscrew@jittery I see what I did: I skipped a step and calculated grams/dollar, then misinterpreted the outcomes as a result. So I showed the meh variety is 30g/$1 and Amazon’s is 24g/$1. Don’t do math on melatonin, folks
I didn’t compare with the big bags, just variety packs, but they do have three balls per bag and ten bags per box, so you’ll get 33% more ball on Amazon
oh man i am sad to see these here, because i know one of the brothers, and this means they didn’t sell well. i have had the coconut cashew and it was very good. Having tried this, I’m gonna have to say these are here because of failed marketing, not because of a bad product. the local supermarkets have tucked these away in hard to find places unfortunately
Did they seriously name the entire company after the fact that they’re gluten free? They bet the farm on being known literally as the Gluten Free Brothers? And…protein energy balls?? I can definitely see why these are here on Meh. LMAO
I’m not usually this pessimistic and passive aggressive but geez, it’s funny sometimes to look at the products that just didn’t cut it out in the wider world of marketing.
@PooltoyWolf I’m in the deep deep south. Someone opened up a chain restaurant called Halal Guys in my town a couple of years ago. I love a lot of Middle Eastern food and was even lucky enough to get invited to an amazing Ramadan feast a while back. But I am in the minority around here as far as being open to cultures that are not my own. I was not surprised when that place did not last as long as its lease, even though it was in about the best possible location here - across the parking lot from Whole Foods.
That said, there’s something to be said for going after a niche. You just have to be able to reach enough members of that niche to sustain yourself.
@djslack@PooltoyWolf The Halal Guys are an institution that started many years ago in NYC. They have franchises all over the world. Not bad halal food.
“Organic brown rice syrup” is just a fancy name for “sugar”. Admittedly, it’s all glucose when it devolves in your gut, instead of a 50/50 load of glucose and fructose, so it’s less horrible in that respect - but it’s still sugar.
It’s outdoor track season, kids will devour these between races. Easily packable and portable (and look tasty) energy bites for said meets. I’ll bite on that.
/giphy arid-muffled-government
It’s a simultaneous insult to both science and spirituality. That breakfast bar your had the other day is the epistemological equivalent of taking a dump on the front porch of the pantheon of the gods while standing on Darwin’s neck, is what we’re saying.
So basically pretty much the shape of every other food item sold here recently (with the exception of the choke-on-konjac-jelly which is (probably) amorphous, but still in a rectangular pouch).
But, yeah, you made me laugh.
@mehcuda67 I for one am convinced, and from now on will drink only those Buzz Balls they sell at the liquor store. I see no flaws whatsoever with this plan.
Specs
Product: 60-Pack: The Gluten Free Brothers Protein Energy Balls
Condition: New
Dark Chocolate Almond
Dark Chocolate Coconut
Coconut & Cashew
Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter
What’s Included?
OR
Price Comparison
Dark Chocolate Almond: $29.99 at Amazon
Variety Pack: $47.97 (for 60 bites) at Amazon
Warranty
90 days
Estimated Delivery
Monday, Apr 22 - Tuesday, Apr 23
Needs more.gluten.
brothers protein sounds like some fucked up uwu incest shit
/giphy protien balls
@somf69 that is oddly mesmerizing.
@somf69 *protein
@OnionSoup @somf69 And disturbing.
I never thought I would experience snack fatigue, yet here I am.
/giphy chocolate salty balls
@djslack That’s how I meant it, no offense intended!
I bought some for my own pie hole, we’ll see… Good ratings on Amazon for them.
@robson I’m guessing the whisper was accidental, maybe careless even, but that was what gave me pause. Everyone here is going to be confused but us. Let em, haha!
All good! Enjoy your balls. After being underwhelmed so many times with large quantities of Meh snacks it is going to take a very compelling product to make me bite again. Pun intended with malice aforethought.
It takes balls to sell this many balls.
@awk It takes balls to eat balls.
Are these approximately the size of donut holes?
@Euniceandrich yes
i’m not keto. geezus.
@goldnectar Great! That means you can eat these and also everything else!
Three variety packs are a better value at Amazon
This deal is 3 boxes of 10 24g packs or 720g, divided by $24 is $.30/oz vs. Amazon’s 3 boxes of 10 36g packs or 1080g, divided by $45 for $.24/oz
I’m avoiding Amazon purchases, but meh this time on principle
@nikodrant I think it’s 6 boxes of 4 oz, 0r 680g (10 balls) 24oz divided into $18 is $.75 per oz.
Amazon 1080g (38 oz) divided into $45 is $1.18 per oz.
The 30 2 bite packs (24 oz) are $1 per oz.
@nikodrant I think you did the math wrong. Each ball looks like it’s about 12g. It looks like some packaging says a serving size is 3 balls (36g) but they still only have 10 12g balls per bag?
@Trinityscrew @jittery I see what I did: I skipped a step and calculated grams/dollar, then misinterpreted the outcomes as a result. So I showed the meh variety is 30g/$1 and Amazon’s is 24g/$1. Don’t do math on melatonin, folks
I didn’t compare with the big bags, just variety packs, but they do have three balls per bag and ten bags per box, so you’ll get 33% more ball on Amazon
@jittery @nikodrant @Trinityscrew
Friends don’t let friends derive drunk.
(found on the cubicle wall of a Math professor friend)
oh man i am sad to see these here, because i know one of the brothers, and this means they didn’t sell well. i have had the coconut cashew and it was very good. Having tried this, I’m gonna have to say these are here because of failed marketing, not because of a bad product. the local supermarkets have tucked these away in hard to find places unfortunately
@spacemart That’s too bad if indeed the case…
@spacemart I’m not wild about chocolate, so I was thinking about getting the coconut cashew. Thanks for the review-ette.
you guys should sell some extra-gluten food sometime
@omally Or this - I use it to make whole wheat bread in my bread machine:
Did they seriously name the entire company after the fact that they’re gluten free? They bet the farm on being known literally as the Gluten Free Brothers? And…protein energy balls?? I can definitely see why these are here on Meh. LMAO
I’m not usually this pessimistic and passive aggressive but geez, it’s funny sometimes to look at the products that just didn’t cut it out in the wider world of marketing.
@PooltoyWolf I’m in the deep deep south. Someone opened up a chain restaurant called Halal Guys in my town a couple of years ago. I love a lot of Middle Eastern food and was even lucky enough to get invited to an amazing Ramadan feast a while back. But I am in the minority around here as far as being open to cultures that are not my own. I was not surprised when that place did not last as long as its lease, even though it was in about the best possible location here - across the parking lot from Whole Foods.
That said, there’s something to be said for going after a niche. You just have to be able to reach enough members of that niche to sustain yourself.
@PooltoyWolf They were originally known as “Schweddy Balls” but that didn’t work out so well either…
@djslack @PooltoyWolf The Halal Guys are an institution that started many years ago in NYC. They have franchises all over the world. Not bad halal food.
@jittery yep, but you couldn’t tell that to the good ole boys around here
@djslack @jittery Thought the name sounded familiar
@PooltoyWolf there’s a local place near me called Durty Thumbs. Jamaican food. Why
“Organic brown rice syrup” is just a fancy name for “sugar”. Admittedly, it’s all glucose when it devolves in your gut, instead of a 50/50 load of glucose and fructose, so it’s less horrible in that respect - but it’s still sugar.
@werehatrack OMG, THE HORROR
@axemurderer ? Sugar is unhealthy, news at 11?
@sleuth the world is lucky to have you two here to save us from… brown rice syrup.
@axemurderer Sir or madam, just because you don’t care doesn’t mean no one else does
@sleuth by your own logic, just because you’re terrified of brown rice syrup doesn’t mean that everyone else is.
It’s outdoor track season, kids will devour these between races. Easily packable and portable (and look tasty) energy bites for said meets. I’ll bite on that.
/giphy arid-muffled-government
@JWhirly I was curious where the giphy was going to go with the government! That’s a can of worms.
What’s with all the food lately? It’s like a SuperMehrket around here.
@AgentJay More like a bougie convenience store’s supply warehouse.
So basically pretty much the shape of every other food item sold here recently (with the exception of the choke-on-konjac-jelly which is (probably) amorphous, but still in a rectangular pouch).
But, yeah, you made me laugh.
@mehcuda67 Oh yeah, and +1 for managing to use “epistemological” in ad copy for balls.
@mehcuda67 I for one am convinced, and from now on will drink only those Buzz Balls they sell at the liquor store. I see no flaws whatsoever with this plan.