2020 Dec. Goat DailyRant 15
10Rant: Truk Nutz
Just a quick, stupid rant.
Outfitting your pickup with Truk Nuts is the quickest way to inform me that you and I will never have productive discourse. I can look forward to zero intelligent conversation between us. Quick second is Calvin (from Calvin & Hobbes) urinating on anything. I’d rather discuss the history of the East India Tea Company with somebody who has their bumper held on with bailing wire and duct tape.
So, what is the quick indicator for you that you are not going to have more in common with a person than you do with a potato?
Let me make it a little more difficult: NO POLITICS! We all know how that divides, and you are all wrong and you are all crazy.
Truk Nutz… what, to replace your own defective set? Sheesh.
- 8 comments, 23 replies
- Comment
Truck nuts aren’t that common around here any more. But a truck sporting the Carolina Squat is a pretty good proxy for them.
/image carolina squat
I would make one exception. The guy I saw back in the day with a pair of what appeared to be big chrome actual hex nuts that were like 4 inches each hanging from his truck I thought was providing valid and self-aware social commentary. I’d probably talk to him.
@djslack I came to mention actual giant hex nuts. Those I find amusing compared to the testicles.
@djslack @RiotDemon
I had an El Dorado that rode like that once. Of course, it was overloaded with railroad ties at the time…
@chienfou my roommate in college had a Chrysler K car that rode like that too when it had a fire hydrant in the trunk. Those things are surprisingly heavy!
@djslack yeah, I’ve seen that on the upswing lately. It looks like they stupidly loaded too much shit in their truck bed and broke the rear axle. And it advertises that they have a truck just because. Not because they ever haul or tow anything.
@PocketBrain
No pun intended, of course.
@chienfou @djslack @RiotDemon So, just out of curiosity, what is the factory recommended max capacity for railroad ties in an El Dorado?
@djslack @RiotDemon Yeah, there’s at least a baseline clever to the hex nuts. It’s the kinda nuts a truck should have.
@macromeh
Not sure, but at about 200# per tie, I would guess about 5 less than I had loaded! We blinded a bunch of squirrels on the way home…
@djslack
I had a Plymouth Reliant back in the early 80’s
So how do you feel about chrome mud flaps girls?
/image chrome mud flap girl
This one tickled me the first time I saw it:
And in hunting the essential worker one I came across this one
@mike808 Amusing, and not nearly as hazardous as “Truck Boobs”
https://www.news.com.au/world/truck-with-huge-photo-of-breasts-causes-hundreds-of-car-accidents/news-story/9a676e40ac917223c107c6470a9f916d
(Mildly potentially NSFW)
I work in a male dominated industry. When a new sales rep, co-worker, etc comes in and calls me sweetheart, honey, etc when introduced.
I also look young for my age, so I love the, “well darling your just a young thing. Can you have all that experience?”
All of these things are usually a sign…
Oh yeah, nearly forgot: pants around their knees, underwear pulled up to their armpits. You don’t look cool, dude, you look like you should be in an assisted living facility.
2020 variant:
Mask riding so low you can see their lips moving when they talk.
@mehcuda67
Nose visible
Chin diaper
Ear-hanging
Forehead
No damn mask
All of the above when in close proximity to others in an uncontrolled public space.
The backwards ball cap. When I see one, I automatically deduct 10-20 IQ points from the wearer.
@macromeh
Hat worn unnecessarily indoors. Advertisement that they have a bald spot that they’re “hiding.”
@macromeh
My exception would be when on a boat. It keeps it from flying off when you scoot across the water.
@macromeh @PocketBrain
Sunglasses worn indoors. Anytime.
Low teeth to tattoo ratio, especially the homemade/prison tats.
I am not put off by most tasteful, artistic, neat tattoos, but having love/hate inked on you knuckles in a script that looks like your 5 your old wrote it is kind of a clue that we probably don’t have much to discuss beyond the reason you are in my ER.
@chienfou Especially any particularly overused tattoos:
@PocketBrain
ISWYDT!
@chienfou @PocketBrain what’s wrong with black cats? Or do you mean black panthers specifically?
@chienfou @RiotDemon Sorry, Panthers specifically, ripping their claws into the forearm. I’ve seen that a dozen times.
@chienfou @PocketBrain no knuckle tats, but Jake and Elroy?!?!?!
@chienfou @tinamarie1974 OK the Blues Brothers get a pass. But just them.
@chienfou @PocketBrain seems right!!
If I ask someone a question and they give their answer to my husband…
People that don’t respect personal space (and that was every before March!)
People wearing Patriots clothing