I bought these last time. If they used normal batteries I’d recommend them. But, they use weird batteries (included) which means I, and you will throw them away when they stop working. You can turn them into cool tiny flashlights by reassembling them without the bullshit Bells & Howell whistles
@Tadlem43 if you are better at keeping track of tiny batteries, sure. It’s a good little flashlight. I got the 4 for $20 deal and while the write up says six batteries per flashlight, it only uses 3 at a time. I’ve already misplaced my 12 extra batteries.
¯\(ツ)/¯
@j37hr0@Tadlem43, not I said the blind man!! I simply kept/keep mine in the boxes from which they came! Now, where in the he…world did I store them boxes!!
@lrichman The motto is “Quando omni flunkus moritati” (When all else fails, play dead) (Sort of. It’s pseudolatin.) “…they should at least find you handy” was Red’s closing advice for everything.
Got these last time. One red flashlight completely dead. Even new batteries it wouldn’t work. And the second red one would randomly turn on. It’s haunted!
Had I been willing to pay $70 for an IRK during the IRK-a-thon, I’d probably use one of the coupons and buy this too. Since I didn’t get the IRK, nor the 14 $5 off coupons that’d have come with it, I guess I’m not going to get this junk either.
Who’s the one feeling regret now, huh?
Probably still me, since I continue to pay them $5 a month whether I buy anything or not.
@trustykey Not Bell & Howell, the maker of movie cameras and projectors, Bell + Howell. It’s a paste-on name adopted by a slimeball with money and a sleazy shyster of a lawyer to shit all over a respected trademark.
I love how in the first animated screenshot that cycles between the two colors, the inch markings don’t line up so if you used these to measure something you would get different results off by about an 8th of an inch
@nklb Everything printed on the “card” shifts, showing that they weren’t too concerned about maintaining registration on the press. Since the 0 point on the inch scale was neither explicitly marked nor aligned with the end of the card on either one, the degree to which a measurement would be inaccurate was user-dependent. The “protractor” was laughable in both images.
I guess nobody is interested in these as pens because I didn’t find it in the specs and no one asked… What color is the ink? (i.e. what color will it write?) Does the red one have red ink or the same as the green one? IMO red pens should write with red ink.
Bought the 4 pack last time and they are fine. Useful for me to stick in my camera bags. The pen/flashlight combo is good for writing down film photography settings in my notebook. I keep one of the card things in my wallet just in case it might help in the future?
Both pens were dried out already and so were the included spares. One of the screwing pieces on the was stripped so the end doesn’t stay on the pen. The whistle hardly whistles. The wallet multitool broke on one attempt opening a bottle and a different piece broke on a screw. Junk
Specs
Product: 2-Pack: Bell + Howell 9-in-1 Super Deluxe Tactical Pen with Tool Card
Model: 7419MO - Green and 7422MO - Red
Condition: New
Tac Pen Features
What’s Included?
Price Comparison
$35.90 for 2 on Amazon w/out the Extras
Warranty
90 days
Estimated Delivery
Standard: Monday, Aug 8 - Thursday, Aug 11.
Enhanced: Friday, Aug 5 - Monday, Aug 8.
Oooh! Just what I need to be pulled aside by TSA on my next work trip!
Good luck with that…
@awk
What’s Included?
2x Tactical pens
2x Tool cards
Wait, why does it say only one card in the write up?
You get two pens, one card
@Euniceandrich yep its 2 pens, 2 cards
Thank you @troy !
/giphy you are appreciated
It says you get two pens and one card, but the photo shows two cards? Can somebody clarify this?
@Willijs3 its two pens and two cards
Pen is too complicated
@llangley too complicated and too big.
@craigthom I thought long and hard about mentioning that.
@craigthom @llangley That’s what [gender-neutral third-person singular pronoun of choice] said.
@craigthom @llangley That’s what she said!!
@1DisabledWarVet @craigthom @llangley
The Phillips screwdriver probably works, if you glue the bit into the holder.
I bought these last time. If they used normal batteries I’d recommend them. But, they use weird batteries (included) which means I, and you will throw them away when they stop working. You can turn them into cool tiny flashlights by reassembling them without the bullshit Bells & Howell whistles
@j37hr0 It looks like the batteries are pretty cheap. You can get 40 for $6.79 on Amazon.
Still a no sale?
@Tadlem43 if you are better at keeping track of tiny batteries, sure. It’s a good little flashlight. I got the 4 for $20 deal and while the write up says six batteries per flashlight, it only uses 3 at a time. I’ve already misplaced my 12 extra batteries.
¯\(ツ)/¯
@j37hr0 @Tadlem43, not I
said the blind man!! I simply kept/keep mine in the boxes from which they came! Now, where in the he…world did I store them boxes!! 
Was the roadside flea market closed for the 4th?
Did you retrieve this junk from a dumpster instead?
@Hittman They pimped these back in April, too. The dissections were less than blissful. Gleeful at times, but not blissful.
@Hittman, No, they were all found at Martha Stewart’s Yard Tag Sale yesterday!
The kit should have one green and one red, and they should be engraved with the Possum Lodge logo and motto.
@werehatrack “If the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.”
@lrichman The motto is “Quando omni flunkus moritati” (When all else fails, play dead) (Sort of. It’s pseudolatin.) “…they should at least find you handy” was Red’s closing advice for everything.
@werehatrack I know it was Red’s quote, but it seems more apt for these “pens”.
@lrichman @werehatrack
I like: those three little words men find so hard to say: “I Don’t Know!”
@werehatrack, Mine didn’t,… each set came with a photo of a dead Possum as Road-kill!!
@werehatrack #TIL
https://redgreen.fandom.com/wiki/Possum_Lodge
@Kyeh @lrichman @werehatrack “No I don’t!” - see no trouble at all!
@macromeh
I fart in your general direction!
@werehatrack Your voice has changed, but your breath smells the same!
Got these last time. One red flashlight completely dead. Even new batteries it wouldn’t work. And the second red one would randomly turn on. It’s haunted!
Meh. Bought these last round and a couple didn’t work—metal threads fell apart. Cheapo.
@cfburne And last tiem they were in packs of four for $20, slightly cheaper per each - unless you want to burn an IRKoupon to get two for $7.
I expect to see these turn up in IRKs sooner or later.
Had I been willing to pay $70 for an IRK during the IRK-a-thon, I’d probably use one of the coupons and buy this too. Since I didn’t get the IRK, nor the 14 $5 off coupons that’d have come with it, I guess I’m not going to get this junk either.
Who’s the one feeling regret now, huh?
Probably still me, since I continue to pay them $5 a month whether I buy anything or not.
@ciabelle Look at it this way; your total savings for the IRK and these things is $82. Mazeltov.
Bell & Howell?! Is this the 50’s or has Meh moved headquarters to Canadian Tire?
@trustykey Not Bell & Howell, the maker of movie cameras and projectors, Bell + Howell. It’s a paste-on name adopted by a slimeball with money and a sleazy shyster of a lawyer to shit all over a respected trademark.
“Self-defense” items that require you to get closer to your assailant instead of farther away are dumb.
Remember when these were $25 each and your “tactical” friends could not wait to show it off?
@Jonas4321 Nope. I guess I have smarter friends than that. I doubt that any of them would spend $5 on it, let alone $25.
@Jonas4321 Tacticool.
I love how in the first animated screenshot that cycles between the two colors, the inch markings don’t line up so if you used these to measure something you would get different results off by about an 8th of an inch
@nklb Everything printed on the “card” shifts, showing that they weren’t too concerned about maintaining registration on the press. Since the 0 point on the inch scale was neither explicitly marked nor aligned with the end of the card on either one, the degree to which a measurement would be inaccurate was user-dependent. The “protractor” was laughable in both images.
I guess nobody is interested in these as pens because I didn’t find it in the specs and no one asked… What color is the ink? (i.e. what color will it write?) Does the red one have red ink or the same as the green one? IMO red pens should write with red ink.
@senor_sriracha Red ink is in short supply these days as it has all been diverted to the US Treasury.
Bought the 4 pack last time and they are fine. Useful for me to stick in my camera bags. The pen/flashlight combo is good for writing down film photography settings in my notebook. I keep one of the card things in my wallet just in case it might help in the future?
So basically - use case specific.
John Wick is the only one that could use these for “defense”.
I am having a hard time believing that the pen is superior to a sword when it’s window breaking time!
is your “sword” an epee or foil?
@ekw I prefer a heavy rapier, providing the best of stabby with just enough of slashy.
@werehatrack I prefer a sabre, which sounds less rapey.
Green.
These are Bell+Howell, and reviews on them have shown them to be mostly shoddy junk. Bell & Howell is a distinct entity from Bell+Howell.
Over a thousand sold. Who was it that said: “You’ll never go broke underestimating the taste of the American public.” ?
@blaineg 'Twas H. L. Mencken.
I got it last time, it was pretty meh.
Meh. Broke already. Unscrewed once.
Both pens were dried out already and so were the included spares. One of the screwing pieces on the was stripped so the end doesn’t stay on the pen. The whistle hardly whistles. The wallet multitool broke on one attempt opening a bottle and a different piece broke on a screw. Junk
So, it sounds like they’re the perfect secret Santa gift for a place where you’re going to quit before New Year’s.
Sounds like these will be in the Irks.
@Kyeh IRKsomely.
Even though my box was clearly opened and resealed, I’m not mad at it. Everything I received actually works. I got red.