@phendrick dog elbows aren’t designed for ass wiping… and they don’t even have thumbs. The wipes need to be draped over a stick in the ground so the dog can back into it and wipe. You’d still probably have to go grab the used wipe to throw it away, so maybe just wipe the dog yourself to save time. Just remember to wipe front to back or something.

@phendrick Amen!

@hchavers How determined is your wife?

@alacrity you see, I was thinking, “as opposed to wipe left”, as in, if you use these, you’ll love your dog again. But that just seemed wrong.

@awk
Yes.

@GLaDOS The Feline and Dog Association does need to give approval.

@GLaDOS @yakkoTDI The feline association would fail it as apparently it has aloe in it which can be fatal to cats or make them very sick.

@Kidsandliz @yakkoTDI TIL dogs too! https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/animal-poison-control/toxic-and-non-toxic-plants/aloe

Weird that at the same time, “the gel is considered edible”. That’s confusing.

@GLaDOS @yakkoTDI Not so weird as it is advertised as dog and I don’t see that aloe hurts dogs as apparently they have the enzyme produced in their liver that breaks it down. Also this kind of stuff for non-humans isn’t governed by the FDA or for that matter much of anything. It comes, essentially, under buyer beware.

@katbyter You may need to worry about the ingredients then. Unlike human babies, most pets can lick their own ass.

@brainmist @katbyter human babies can also lick a pet’s ass.

@katbyter These are really the same price per wipe, 2 cents when you round up like the product listings do, if you’re already a Sam’s Club member. If not, i assume the Equate brand of unscented baby wipes at Walmart is comparable, and they work out to 2.2 cents each. If you break it down to fractions of a cent, Sam’s brand is 1.887 cents each, so the difference is only 1.356 cents per 1200 count. If you don’t have a membership, the cost would be a lot more.

But, you should also factor in the difference of an active ingredient, if antibacterial function is important to you. These have benzalkonium chloride, where the baby wipes don’t, so that’s the main difference. The Walmart Equate brand of antibacterial hand wipes, which are very similar to these in material & ingredients (except for having a scent, I’ve tried both), is more than double this price, at 4.45 cents per wipe.

@ircon96 I must have miscalculated earlier. It was very early and I’d had very little sleep. Yes it is closer than I thought, but still cheaper.

@brainmist I took your advice and got two pets. For some reason my goldfish is refusing to clean my dog’s ass.

@brainmist @warpedrotors Good thing for your goldfish that you don’t have a cat!

@brainmist @ircon96 @warpedrotors Seriously. My kid when through a phase where she wanted fish. I got feeder goldfish for 25 cents a fish. They travel in packs. They look at the world outside of the fish tank. They interact with the outside world. It was cat TV. One cat did windmill legs any time I took her closer to the aquarium. They were safe from her. Another cat just sat there close up and personal staring at them for hours. Initially that cat would run when they’d swim towards the side he was on then didn’t. I made sure the cat could not get in as I am sure he also viewed them as cat dinner because initially he had his face smashed against the aquarium trying to get his paws through the glass and get at him. Goldfish are smart and live 20 years if in a big enough tank (eg at least 5 gallons per fish as they get huge). My kid got tired of them after a couple of months so I gave them to another family with kids. Fish tanks are more of a pain in the ass to clean than cat dirt boxes and cat asses.

@brainmist @ircon96 @Kidsandliz @warpedrotors
I concur; my feeder goldfish (a Comet) lived for 23 years. His name was Mrs. Plungerwoman (long but delightful story).

@gregormehndel @Kidsandliz
If you have the land and interest, feeder goldfish, [or if you have nieces and nephews who like to win and then give them away] goldfish from carnivals and fairs make reasonably good additions to larger outdoor ponds.
If you have it stocked with bass or other game fish they will appreciate the easy meals.
If you have it stocked with koi, as we do, the koi will accept them as new house [pond] mates, and even interbreed with them, which is … interesting.
We have had at least several koi who lived up to 35-30 years despite upstate NY [between Rochester and Buffalo] winters, and some pretty hot and droughty summer with lower than optimal water depth, and the almost unavoidable overcrowding that occurred with uncontrolled breeding each spring.
We stopped naming them once the nieces and nephews had their own kids and stopped adding new fish, mainly because there are too many to keep track of.

@warpedrotors Next time I’m at Walmart, I’m going to try punching a hole in someone’s baby, with my thumb. I just need to know how tough these wipes are.

@TheCO2 Testing this on a non-lab-grade infant is not recommended; you don’t know what diseases they may be carrying. And the greeters at Wal-Mart will flag you for Security attention if you arrive wearing enough PPE for this research. Be safe, always follow CDC and AMA best practices when testing things like this.

@TheCO2 @werehatrack it’s common knowledge that all you need for this experiment is one glove. At worst, the greeter will think you’re wearing a terrible Michael Jackson costume.

@warpedrotors @werehatrack Thanks to you, I’m wearing a blast suit with one rubber glove. I want to be protected when peoples’ heads explode from seeing how easily babies are punctured by a single thumb. Also, the greeters will be so scared when they see the blast suit, they might even try to help me.

@joe645 Or a swimming pool although with kid pee in those they might not get totally clean.

@rustyh3 Same. I’ve had two short-haired dogs and two double-coated dogs (both were part Chow), and they all managed to do their business without needing a wipedown.

@lisagd @rustyh3 When some of cats got really old they weren’t able to clean themselves after using the box - but I don’t think I’d use something with aloe in it because it’s not supposed to be good for cats.

@Kyeh @lisagd @rustyh3 Yes aloe can kill cats.

@iamnotcreative Maybe safe for your cat. Probably not safe for you unless you have a very mellow cat or thick leather gloves.

@iamnotcreative Can’t imagine why it wouldn’t be – these are “pet” wipes, so all pets apply

@iamnotcreative @troy “Safe for the cat” and “safe for the person applying it to the cat” is not the same thing. These are unrelated. Hence the need for PPE.

@werehatrack where are you seeing that there’s a need for PPE?

@troy @werehatrack the pets have not been double vaxxed and quad boosted. Always wear ppe when dealing with unvaxxed animals.

@iamnotcreative Probably not. Someone commented it had aloe in it and that makes cats sick. If they have enough it will kill them.

@troy Try wiping a cat’s privates without the cat’s acquiescence and the cat will explain the error of your ways to you, in very explicit and memorable ways. Hence the need for PPE.

But since the wipes contain aloe, they’re no-go for cats, as was observed by @kidsandliz.

@troy @werehatrack And also @kyeh elsewhere on this thread mentioned aloe and cats is not a good mix.

@Kidsandliz @troy @werehatrack
Very elderly cats who can’t clean themselves anymore could benefit from the right sort of wipes, but these aren’t them.

@iamnotcreative @macromeh

@sprayward my question too