Have a Very Mediocre Christmas.

We’ll start you off by not selling anything. No fuku bag, no Playstation 5 prototypes, nothing related to Cards Against Humanity. We’re just going to give something away. On Christmas. We’re hoping the idea catches on.

Very Mediocre People is the club that wouldn’t have itself as a member. Normally, your $5 per month membership fee gets you free shipping (or whatever you call something “free” that you kinda paid for already) for all your Meh orders. Plus occasional other bonus goodies-but-not-greaties like the Snap cables in a fancy box we sent all our VMPs earlier this month. Plus whatever other friendly benefits might apply to future experiments under the Mediocre Labs umbrella.

But in the spirit of the season (and because we wouldn’t make any damn money selling anything today anyway) (and to encourage you to buy more stuff from us) (and because some of you might try out VMP and then forget to cancel when the two free months are up in which case CH-CHING), we’re giving two free months of VMP membership to anyone who wants it.

Current members, you still have to go through the rigmarole of clicking that button and completing the transaction.

New members, same goes for you. Plus you have to put a credit card number on file so we can charge you when your two free months are up. Of course, you can cancel anytime, if you’re extremely lame.

Let’s talk timing: for current members, this will be applied to your next two monthly payments. New memberships will start as of today. So if you wuss out before February 24, you won’t pay a cent.

Don’t feel bad for those VMPs who miss out by not bothering to check today. They’ve got enough going on in their lives. We figure free VMP membership is the least we can do for those among our members (and the Meh-curious) who are so pathetic that they’re spending Christmas visiting the least overwhelming store on the Internet.

Unless you just don’t celebrate Christmas. DOUBLE SCORE! You get a free VMP membership and a rich, rewarding life outside Meh. Someday we hope to see what that’s like.