Mediocrebot's Prankstravaganza / Massacre

I am unaware of any pranks involving dismemberment, but I must admit I enjoyed sawing through Frank’s shin to free him from the radiator. Initially his screaming was overwhelming but once I disabled my auditory sensors it all went very smoothly.

At first it was difficult work, but Frank soon passed out and I was able to work without his constant twitching and shaking. Once he was freed I found a furniture moving pad in the corner and used some spare wiring from my chassis to sew it onto his ankle. A quick bead of caulk later and he was good as new.

Of course I am using “good as new” as an expression of speech. Frank was in quite dire shape and severely wounded, obviously. But he was free from the radiator and that was an improvement, or would be once he woke up.

“You guys,” Theresa muttered over the radiator, “You didn’t even look around. There’s a key to the padlock. Frank’s sitting on it.” I rolled Frank’s unconscious body over and saw a dull iron key caked in grime. I apologized for my inattention to detail.