The "Boo, Summer Is Over" Bundle
- What we got here is a bundle of summer stuff.
- You get one (1) unicorn floatie, to put in your garage until next year.
- You get one (1) Starfrit Tonglite 6-in-1 BBQ Multi-Tool. It can do a lot of stuff–like work as tongs or a spatula–but most importantly, it has a built-in light, for when it starts getting dark at 11am.
- You get one (1) Beach Front Photoreal PEVA Shower Curtain, to remind yourself that beaches exist during those long winter months.
- You get one (1) pair of sunglasses.
- Model: SUMM3R-H3R3-K1D5
Summer Bummer
September 22nd is fast approaching and with it, the official end of summer. Hence, today’s bundle. No, it is not simply a cleanse our warehouse before the season passes; it is a salute, to summer. So join us, friends, and raise a glass to commemorate what makes this time of year so special:
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A cheers to grilling out (because it is literally the only way to cook in the summer, as running the oven, or even just the stovetop, will turn your house into the planet Venus, so that simply making a quiche in August results in the same volume of sweat as a five mile run any other time of year)!
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A cheers to swimming (whether you do it in the ocean, or in a lake, or in a river, or in a pool, or just by taking your dog for a walk through the air that is thicker than many nut butter varieties)!
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A cheers to the sun (which, upon revealing itself, around a bend in the highway, will show you just how little you clean the inside of your windshield)!
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A cheers to vacation (which is defined as a trip that occurs when someone, delirious from the heat, begins to think, you know what I bet would be great? Spending hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars to go somewhere that is even hotter than it is here and completely overrun with people in Hawaiian shirts seeking sand and mini golf)!
You shall be missed, summer! Especially in the coming weeks, a terrible time of moderate temperatures, trees ablaze with color, apple cider donuts, darker beer, cappuccinos, and sweaters. What shall we do without you, summer? Whatever shall we do?
