Kitchen Assistance

PRODUCT COMPARISON: SOLAC 1.7L Temperature Select Glass Kettle or 1000W Hand Blender and Accessories vs. Sully, your temperature-telling, food-processing assistant

SOLAC 1.7L Temperature Select Glass Kettle or 1000W Hand Blender and Accessories

Pros

• Kettle can be programmed to reach temperatures between 120 and 210 Fahrenheit, making it perfect for brewing coffee and a variety of teas.
• Immersion blender can process sauces and soups right in the pot.
• Immersion blender also comes with a second blender attachment, a whisk attachment, and a food-processing cup.

Cons

• You have to choose one or the other.
• Doesn’t keep you company in the kitchen.
• Neither option sings sea shanties while it works.

Sully, your temperature-telling, food-processing assistant

Pros

• Is good company in the kitchen.
• Sings sea shanties while he works.
• Used to be a sailor, but due to an accident at sea, no longer registers pain in his fingers, allowing him to stick them into hot water and tell you how warm it is.
• Additionally, he can hand-process soups and sauces while they’re still simmering.

Cons

• You need to constantly remind him to wash his hands before putting them into the water, soup, or sauce.
• Often cries while hand-processing, though not from the pain; it seems like he’s working something out, calling the soup or sauce ‘Captain Andrew’ and really punching his fists into it until smooth (which, additionally, can cause some splatter).
• Even though he can’t feel pain, his fingers look awfully red sometimes, which is off-putting to see.
• Won’t tell you how he lost the ability to feel pain in his fingers; will only say he had ‘a run-in with an unruly blowfish’ while staring off into the distance.
• You need to provide him room and board, and also ensure his room is far enough away from yours, as he suffers from loud night terrors in which he seems to be reliving something terrible that happened at sea.
• You met another sailor at a bar once and mentioned Sully; the sailor went pale and said, “You let that man into your house?” And you said, sure, he’s a good help, and also you feel bad considering what happened with the blowfish, and the other sailor simply shook his head and said, “Blow Fish were what we called Captain Andrew, on account of his cheeks that could fill with air enough to make them look like two volleyballs growing out the side of his face. Of course, no air inflates them cheeks no more or ever again, on account of Sully.”
• Now that you think about it, the sea shanties are pretty violent, and not many of them rhyme, and actually, maybe Sully is just angrily mumbling things under his breath while he works.

Conclusion: While it can be nice to have an assistant who can do everything, the SOLAC products are much easier to manage.