Sharper Image SI-380 Canister Steam Cleaner

  • Clean your floors, bathroom, car, outdoor grill, etc. without chemicals
  • Provides 45 minutes of steam per fill
  • 15 accessories for all kinds of jobs
  • Wheels and a handle so you can take it wherever you need it
  • This offer does not qualify for an IRK refund
  • Potential marketing slogan: “Held in high e-steam!”
see more product specs

Living The Steam

Dearest Meh community,

As many of you likely have heard by now, on Thursday of last week we made a grave mistake, one whose repercussions we are still sorting out.

As the product description for a garment steamer, we presented a humorous monologue from the perspective of steam itself wherein the gaseous phase of water looked back on its glory days of powering steam engines, stating the following:

The roads? Too slow. The rivers? Not enough coverage. The sky? Not yet colonized. The sea? Well, I couldn’t exactly help you there, but unless your journey involved one port to another, as soon as you disembarked, you were looking for the nearest set of tracks inland.

Of course, while much of that’s accurate, there was an issue, as pointed out in the forum by user @steelopus:

Steam powered most ocean vessels for a very very long time

This is a great point, but it’s not the only inaccuracy within the write-up. We also failed to acknowledge steam’s use as a cleaning agent. Take this steam cleaner from Sharper Image, for example. With its 54-ounce water tank, it can provide up to 45 minutes of steam, allowing you to thoroughly clean all of your hardwood and tile floors without the use of chemicals. (And we do mean ‘all’ by the way; with its handle and wheels, it’s very easy to take anywhere you need it!)

At any rate, for all of these errors, we would like to apologize. We are so sorry to anyone we might have offended. And if it is any consolation, be aware that we have fired the entire copy department. Furthermore, we’ve fabricated a series of troublesome social media posts that we’ve attributed to them so none of them will be able to land another copywriting job in the future. (We even went so far as to ensure the perfect mix of vulgarity and stupidity to ensure they can’t even raise their profile by doing interviews about ‘the dangers of cancel culture.’)

Our only hope is that you will forgive us and continue to patronize our website.

Sincerely, on behalf of Meh as a whole,
Manly Rat-Piss
Head of Meh PR

(Yes, that is my real name. My dad was named Tobias Rat and my mother was named Loretta Piss.)

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