Shark Matrix 2-in-1 Robot Vacuum & Mop w/ 360° LiDAR (Certified Renewed)
Our Take
- It maps its route through your house intelligently (apparently)
- It’s a Shark, so the suction is good
- Can switch easily between vacuum and mopping modes
- Is it Mac-compatible: Oh yeah, it’ll clean up all your phone’s iDroppings for sure
Your Take
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I have this and love it. App is required. Not without some minor annoyances but great for $100 or less.
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But, once you start down the robo-vac path, and see what the more expensive ones can do, let’s just say the Shark started me down a somewhat expensive road.
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has anyone used this with golden retrievers or other long-haired dogs?
Futuristic Enough
As technology marches forward, we often forget about a very important demographic: time travelers from the past.
Especially the semi-recent time travelers.
People who get zapped here from the 1800s or 1500s or whatever? They’re going to shit their pants as soon as they see a television or a Dodge Durango.
But what about a guy from the 1950s or the 1960s? Sure, they’ll be impressed by your smartphone or whatever. But they’ve been programmed by the science fiction writers of their era to expect some pretty wild things. So if there comes a flash of light and one of them suddenly appears in your kitchen, what are you going to show them?
Your air fryer?
A toothbrush that goes buzz-buzz and tracks your tooth-brushing on an app?
Or, are you going to pull up a chair at the computer for them and show them ChatGPT? “Check it out,” you’ll say, “this thing can write a novel at the click of a button! And yes, the novel will absolutely suck ass, but don’t worry, you won’t have to read it! Because you can ask ChatGPT to summarize it. And yes, that summary might be entirely incorrect and packed with made-up stuff, but don’t worry, only 80% of the population relies on it for everything.”
They’d get back in their time machine, head home, and tell their wife, “Honey, the future totally blows.” Or maybe something like, “Toots, it’s not exactly sweet as an egg-cream out there, so we best head to the hop and do the twist and enjoy our lives while we got them, capiche?”
Or whatever. I don’t really know what people said in the 50s.
Anyway, that’s why you should get one of these.
Yes, it’s a robot vacuum. Yes, it’ll map your house to maximize its cleaning efficiency. Yes, it can vacuum and mop. And yes, it’s from Shark, a trusted vacuum brand.
But, more importantly, it’ll look appropriately futuristic if you’re visited by a time traveler from the past. You don’t need to explain bluetooth connectivity or generative AI or anything. You can just point to it and be like, “That thing’s my house cleaner.”
Mind: blown.
So buy one, just in case you’re visited by a time traveler. And, in the meantime, let it vacuum and mop your house.
