Laundromats Are Terrible

If you’ve got a washer and dryer in your home, of course you’re going to just buy the big jug of liquid–or dry–detergent. Of course you would. It just makes sense, financially (probably) and in terms of waste (probably) and efficiency (probably).

So why do you need this 120 pack of Professor Amos Laundry Sheets? Because Professor Amos didn’t spend years toiling in a lab to earn a doctorate in disposable non-liquid textile hygiene, and then become Adjunct Professor Amos, and then Assistant Professor Amos, and finally Full Professor Amos to be turned away by some bargain hunter perusing a website known for selling cheap bullshit, that’s why!

Okay, sorry. I got a little heated there.

The real reason you need these: because I don’t know about you, but in my experience, that jug of detergent I mentioned before? Even when it’s empty, it always feels like it’s about a quarter full. So having some backups for when you need clean socks but don’t have time to run to the store for a detergent re-up isn’t a bad idea.

And again, we’re assuming that you have a washing machine. Maybe you’ve got a communal laundry in the basement of your building. Or worse, maybe there’s no laundry at all. Maybe you have to go to the laundromat.

If so, I can relate. When I lived in Iowa City, I didn’t have a washer or dryer so I had to load up my clothes, get cash at the grocery store, drive to a strip mall with a laundromat that was open 24 hours (“We never clothes,” was their motto, seriously), lug in my laundry, turn that cash into tokens, and then sit at one of the sticky tables with my computer or a book and try to concentrate on something while three televisions simultaneously blared daytime soaps, the local news, and sports-related debate shows. Once I went to the bathroom and when I cam out an old man was taking his pants off. He saw me, chuckled, and continued unpantsing so he could throw them into the machine with the rest of his stuff. “Sorry son,” he said, “but they needed to get in there.”

What I’m saying is: going to the laundromat is not fun. If I could’ve saved the hassle of hauling around my detergent and filling cap after cap as I distributed my laundry, I would’ve in a heartbeat.

In conclusion, those are the reasons to buy these laundry sheets.