Dangling Some Dongles

The boardroom of an unknown tech company, some time in the near-ish past. The following interaction is entirely true.

“Gentleman, we’ve done it,” said the founder. “We’ve created a truly remarkable product: a device for allowing ultimate connect-ability. On one end, an input that can be inserted into a port on your computer. On the other, a variety of different ports that your computer might lack. We will certainly make billions off this. But first, we must name it. Do we have any ideas?”

“I’ve thought long and hard about this,” said an engineer seated at the conference table. “In a way, computers are steadfast machines. While you might customize a desktop, most people take their computers out of the box, and that’s what they have until it comes time for a replacement. If their computer is not capable of something, they do not do that thing. Conversely, if a computer does not allow for certain connections, due to a lack of ports, the user simply lives with that reality. Our device’s purpose then is, essentially, to wean these users off of the idea that computers cannot be altered to meet their needs. And thus, I think we should call the device: a wean-er.”

The room fell silent.

“It doesn’t have the right ring to it,” the founder said finally. “Any other ideas?”

“I think,” said a project manager, “that we need to embrace how much we’re about to change the world with this. Built-in ports? They’re going to be a thing of the past. Soon, I predict there will be one port on each computer and then a variety of our devices, allowing simultaneously for simplicity in computer design as well as ultimate customization. In this way, our device is the heir apparent to the internal port. And it’s a very good heir apparent at that. Add a little French in to class it up, and you get a great name: the bon heir.”

“You know, it’s not really doing it for me,” said the founder.

“What about honoring the people who put it together?” said someone in marketing. “We could name it after the lead engineer, show the world that we value our employees.”

“My name?” said the lead engineer. “Edward Rection?”

“It’s a bit long,” said the person from marketing. “Maybe we could do first initial, last name?”

“We’re not going to do that,” the founder said.

“Well, what about yours?” said the lead engineer. “We merely executed your vision, after all. Why don’t we name it after you?”

“You want to name it Don Gle?” said the founder. "But what if people pronounce it wrong? What if they don’t realize it’s supposed to rhyme with ‘clay’ and just read it as one word? And it comes out sounding like… ‘dongle’?

The entire room erupted in laughter, because it was just too funny to imagine anyone making such a mistake.