You can't afford to pay attention.

The faster you buy, the better this deal is. No, not because the price is going up. Because this Philips Soundbar’s primary value lies in quickly, easily, thoughtlessly delivering better sound than your TV speakers without a lot of effort on your part. More thought = less value.

Buy! Now! Go! Act! Move! The more effort you put into analyzing its 5.1-channel sound, detached long-throw subwoofer, and Dolby Pro Logic II audio, the less effortless it is. Stop reading. STOP READING. Stop reading about how its 300w total output makes it a solid little stereo system for your music, or how it can serve as an HDMI hub for your TV. Its value is dropping with every word in this paragraph.

OMG hurry up hurry up. It’s costing you too much to stick around while we talk about how there are always way too many soundbars on the market because true home-theater aficionados will buy a bigger, better system, and people who don’t care that much will just settle for their TV speakers. That’s why there are always such good deals to be had on these -

Forget it. Never mind. Too late. You blew it. You had to take something simple and easy and make it all complicated and thinky and now the magic is gone. You’re too invested. It’s not worth it anymore.

If you want to get something in return for those sunken costs, you might as well buy this Philips Soundbar. You’ve spent all this time reading about it. Be a shame if that went to waste, right?