Petmate Dog Toy Bundle
- Chewy playthings for dogs who chew and play
- A treat, a rope, a stretchy thing, and a stuffed toy
- Must be nice to lay around chewing and playing all day instead of going to work like the rest of us
Toys? I'm workin' here.
Uh, hey. Your dog here. Yeah, yeah, I know, I have a name - a name you gave me. But right now I’m talking, so I’m going to go by my real name. Call me Herman. What? It’s a totally cool name in the dog world.
Anyway, we need to talk. I’m not complaining about the broad outlines of this setup we have. You feed, I heel. You keep the parasites off my skin, I don’t tear your dinner out of your hands. I know the deal. I get it. It’s not always the most dignified arrangement, but all in all, fine, I guess it works.
This thing about “dog toys”, though? Dog toys? Like I’m a little kid? No. That has to stop.
I’m not playing here. This is my job. When I’m gnawing on a rope toy, when I’m chewing on a piece of rawhide, when I’m chasing some stuffed animal you’ve thrown, I’m working. I’m practicing my hunting skills. Keeping up my guarding chops. Sharpening my teeth.
That’s what you keep me around for, right? That’s why your ancestors invited us to join them around the campfire. Because we’re elite protectors, fierce sentinels against the pitiless claws and red teeth of savage nature -
Oh. It’s not? You keep us around because we’re… cute? Because you want to play?
OK. Well… Come on! I got the rope! I got the rope! Tug of war! Tug of war! Grab it! Come on, grab it, dare you! GRRR!
